Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Erin Lindsey was not sure how it happened, but she found herself outside of her partner's door. Maybe it was his extra quiet demeanor this week, or the fact that he raced out of work the moment the opportunity presented itself. Most certainly, however, it was the sorrowful look in his eyes when Erin caught him alone in the locker room during their lunch break. Jay Halstead had been crying, she was sure of it. It didn't matter that they were cooling it off for the time being, Erin's heart ached as she watched the man she loves splash his face with water and offer a weak smile as he excused himself for coffee.
So here she was, standing awkwardly outside of his door on a Friday night. It is crazy to think that just a month ago she would have welcomed herself in without hesitation, to be greeted by a world stopping kiss. But those moments have been relegated to their future, to promises of one day. Promises, they both had agreed, would be good enough to hold them over for now. With a sad smile, Erin rapped her knuckles against the door, hoping she wouldn't have to knock it down to get to her partner.
"I'll get it, JJ." A female's voice called from the other side of the door, causing Erin to take a step away, pain pulsating through her body.
"You must be Erin, I'll get Jay." A familiar looking blonde woman smiles.
"I am." Erin responds as she looks the girl up and down.
"I can tell from the look on your face that numb nuts has never mentioned me. Come in. Jay you're an ass." She yells over her shoulder as she steps aside and welcomes Erin into the apartment.
"Erin. Hey." A sheepish looking Jay Halstead smiles as he comes into view, "This is my baby.."
"Little."
"Baby."
"Little." The blonde interrupted again.
"Baby sister." Jay teases with a smile.
"Little sister" the blonde finished, "Hi, I'm Abigail." She smiles as she offers her hand. "Widely regarded as everyone's favorite Halstead."
"False." A deeper voice calls from the kitchen. "Well, well, well, I have been waiting to meet you." A handsome blonde man, about Erin's age grins as he enters the living room. "Will Halstead, golden boy."
"Gross." Abigail shakes her head with a smile. "Can you believe JJ hasn't mentioned us? I mean you, I understand, Golden Boy. But me? I'm not the least bit embarrassing."
An overwhelmed Erin searches the small room for her partner who is leaning against the wall with a sad smile on his face. Amused by his siblings, but clearly still bothered by something.
"Well, sometimes words can't do people justice." Jay offers as he steps into the group. "Erin, Will and Abby Halstead, my younger brother and sister. Will and Abs, Erin Lindsey my partner."
"Oh we know who she is…" Will begins as Abby lands a small punch on his arm.
"Would you like some wine? We were just going to open a bottle." Abby smiles as she motions to the kitchen.
The thought of Jay Halstead drinking wine causes Erin to smile, she has never seen her partner drink anything but beer and whiskey.
"I know, I'm all fancy now." Jay teases, referencing her joke when she first joined the task force. "They can be a bit much, but I'm glad you are here and I would like it if you stayed." He earnestly states as he puts an arm around her shoulders.
"Four glasses it is, Abs" Will smirks as he watches his big brother in action.
"So what do you do, Will?" Erin questions as she stands around Jay's kitchen with the three Halsteads.
"Ugh." The youngest and oldest of the siblings roll their eyes and grown.
"I am a doctor, a children's cardiologist specialist, at Boston's Children's Hospital, the top hospital in the nation." He grins more to annoy his siblings than to brag.
"Golden boy. I get it now." Erin laughs, "And you Abigail?"
"Kindergarten teacher." She responds, a warm smile lighting up her face.
"Reigning Chicago teacher of the year and one class away from her Masters." Will adds as he clinks glasses with his sister, clearly more proud of her accomplishments than his own.
Erin smiles at the small family. Standing together, she can now see that the three are clearly related. Clean cut, blonde hair, blue eyes. All tall, slender, good-looking she adds to herself as she catches Jay's eyes.
"Wow a soldier/detective, doctor, and a teacher. Cut straight from a J. Crew catalog." Erin teases. "Mom and Dad must be proud."
The siblings share a series of quick sad looks as Erin wonders what she may have said to offend the group.
"Abs, let's give these two a moment." Will cuts into the silence, "we will start to set up in the living room. Grab the wine opener, I brought a bottle from Boston that you are going to love." He calls over his shoulder as they leave the room.
"Did I say something wrong?" Erin questions as she is left alone with Jay.
"You probably noticed something has been off with me this week." Jay begins, "And as much as I love those two, you probably were shocked that they were here." He adds.
"I was shocked that they existed." Erin responds with a sad smile.
"Well, they are here for our mom's birthday. She would have been 60 today."
"Oh Jay." Erin whispers as the week's events become a little clearer.
"Breast cancer. Fourteen years ago, you would think it gets easier." He shrugs as tears form in his eyes.
Erin erases the space between them as she pulls Jay into a hug. "We get together every year, no matter what, in her honor. I would have told you, but it hurts too much. And then with everything that was happening, I didn't know if it would have complicated things." He breathes into her hair causing Erin to pull away slightly allowing her to look at his face.
"The two of us being there for each other is never complicating things or asking too much. I'm here for you, always."
"Thanks." He responds as he leans his forehead against his smaller partner. Jay takes a deep breath as he stands up straight. "We basically reminisce, look at pictures, try to focus on the happy stuff. You're more than welcomed to stay; I can guarantee some quality embarrassing childhood pictures."
"Of course." Erin replies as she gives Jay's hands a squeeze.
"So where do we begin." Jay calls as he enters the living room with Erin in tow, grabbing hands with his brother than giving a gentle kiss to the top of his sister's hair.
"With curly haired, naked baby Jay of course" Abby smiles as she holds up a picture of a maybe 3 year old Jay sitting in a bathtub, a blonde woman helping him to stand.
"God, Abigail, you look more and more like her each year." Will shakes his head as he passes the picture to Jay and Erin.
"Beautiful." Jay smiles letting his eyes briefly leave the picture to focus on his sister.
"Jay and I have a lot of mom." Abby smiles, "This one." She ruffles Will's hair, "is all Dad."
"Speaking of Daddy Dearest…" Will begins.
"Don't look at me." Jay responses, visibly tensing next to Erin.
"You know, Dad." Abigail offers, "He would rather pretend it didn't happen then discuss it. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he had to work."
"Dr. James Halstead III, head of surgery at Northwestern Memorial Hospital." Will calls out in a mocking tone. "World renowned doctor, excellent husband, A+ golfer."
"Absentee father." Jay finishes and the three siblings clank their glasses together.
"Ooo Jay, here you are on your first day altar serving! Did he ever tell you about the time he caught the church on fire?" Abby excitedly asks as she passes the picture to Erin.
"No." Erin smiles as she reaches for the picture.
"A little dramatic, wouldn't you say?" Jay side eyes his sister.
"Me? Never. Well we all went to St. Clement Elementary, which is where I teach now and where Mom taught before she had us. Anyway, I was in kindergarten, Will was in fifth grade and JJ was in sixth and the two of them had to serve for the big Ash Wednesday school mass. The Church was packed, overflowing with people, in fact I'm pretty sure Mom was there with her camera. Is this on tape?" She excitedly asks as she begins to dig through a box.
"Not anymore." Jay smirks.
"Ugh, anyway, it was time for Jay to carry the cross to the back of the Church for the presentation of the gifts. I don't know what happened, but next thing you know, Jay trips on the altar and the big cross knocks over two candles, which start a fire on the carpet! So JJ takes one look at the fire and starts to put it out, but it catches on his robes. The nuns had to run up and tackle him, and the whole Church sat in a stunned silence." Abigail laughed.
"The whole Church except for my little brother who sat two feet away and did nothing but laugh." Jay interrupts the group's laughter.
"I have it on good authority that they still tell that story when they are training altar servers." Abigail smirks into her wine.
"Mom bought the church new candles, a new rug, and a new cross." Jay smiled, "And doubled the family's weekly offering."
"What did you trip over?" Erin questions as she is starting to feel more comfortable in the group.
Will opens his mouth to speak but Jay quickly interjects, "I had an early growth spurt, I was all legs and arms and big feet for a while. It took me a bit to figure my body out, but since I did, there's been no complaints." He grins to Erin as his brother slaps his shoulder.
"Gross." Abby shakes her head as she puts the picture back into the album.
"As much as I'd like to give you your moment in front of your girl." Will interjects, "I know why you fell."
"Shut it."
"Tell me!" Abby jumps next to her brother on the couch.
"Miss Jefferson." Will smirks as Jay drops his head to the back of the couch.
"My kindergarten teacher?" Abby questions, "She was my favorite teacher, what does she have to do with this?"
"Well she was Jay's favorite, too." Will laughs, "And let's just say Jay got lost in a bit of a day dream and wasn't prepared to stand up."
"James Halstead IV, you got a boner during mass?" Abigail exclaims as Will and Erin erupt in laughter.
"Everyone loved Miss Jefferson, why do you think we always stopped by your classroom." Jay shrugs avoiding the glare of his little sister.
"To make sure I was ok!"
"Nope, to get a glimpse of teach." Will smirks
"I'm disgusted."
"I can't believe you kept that in all these years." Jay grins as he turns his attention to his brother.
"I had to wait until young Abigail was a mature enough age as to not scar her."
"Still scarred."
"Speaking of, never say the word boner again." Jay glares at his sister.
"Oh I could say much worse." She teases in reply.
"No you couldn't." Will states joining Jay.
"I'm 24 you guys."
"That's still too young."
"You two are pathetic. Mom used to walk in on you two with girls all the time, and you weren't even out of high school yet."
"One time." Jay begins, turning his attention towards Erin. "Will had to jump out of some girl's window wearing nothing but his boxers and Mom had to come pick him up."
"How old were you?" Erin asks.
"Let's see. It was about a year before she passed, so 14?"
"And you two are freaking out because I'm 24 and I said boner."
"I told you not to say that anymore." Jay responds.
"So, I was ten when Mom died. And she tried to have as many of the girl talks as she could with me but they weren't all appropriate for a 10 year old ya know?" Abby starts as she turns towards her big brother's partner. "Our Dad is a good guy, but he never recovered from losing Mom, he just loved her too much I think, so he isn't the most involved father. Anyways, Jay enlisted the day after graduation when he was 18 and I was 12 and he panicked that no one would talk to me about sex and stuff..."
"I'll take it from here." Jay cuts her off. "I knew that was typical mom stuff and that no one was really there to give her the talk. I also knew I couldn't count on this guy." He smiles as he points to Will. "So I gave her the talk."
"He told me if I so much as saw a penis I'd get pregnant. Which I mean, look who I grew up with, I knew about sex from age 5 with you two pervs down the hall."
"Hey, I did my part! I told her that if she was alone in a room with a boy she'd get pregnant." Will smiles from his seat as he puts his arm around his little sister. "Which, I still believe is something you should practice and remember in your daily life."
"What's that?"
"No penises, no boys in your bedroom or anywhere for that matter." Will smiles.
"Here here." Jay grins and he clanks glasses with his brother.
"Big brothers." Abigail shakes her head, "The things I could tell you."
"I have a gun. Many guns in fact." Jay threatens.
"And I could make it look like an accident." Will adds.
"Do you have siblings, Erin? Any pain in the ass big brothers?" Abigail questions, ignoring the boys.
"I have a brother, from my mom, we aren't too close anymore." Erin begins; silently wishing she was still just a spectator in the family's fun. "My family is a bit of a mess, there is really no way to be sure there aren't more."
"Oh."
"Good thing you found this one then." Will interrupts as he roughly grabs his brother's shoulders, "he comes with a built in brother and sister. And anyone who can bring a smile to this old man's face is more than welcomed anytime."
"Thank you." Erin smiles at Will, sensing he is closer having Jay's personality than the bravado he is quick to show.
"More wine for everyone." Will exclaims as he stands up, "We are all entirely too sober."
"You are in for a treat." Abby whispers to Erin before standing, "I have the song, its time to sing and dance, boys."
"I feel like this is one tradition we can let slide." Jay groans from his seat.
"No chance, big brother, hit it sis."
Forever Young by Bob Dylan starts to play from the speakers as Erin watches the siblings playfully dance around each other, singing and enjoying one another's company. Abigail screams as Jay tosses her over his shoulder and spins. Erin is surprised that it is Will's hand that extends in front of her inviting her to join. He twirls her once, before setting his hand on the middle of her back and grabbing her free hand with his other. The two watch Jay and Abby laugh and sing as Will turns his attention to Erin. "He loves you, you know."
"I love him, too." She grins as Jay dips his sister.
"Does he know that? Jay might be the oldest, but that doesn't make him the smartest." Will responds as he sways with Erin.
"Well we haven't said it. We aren't even together right now."
"You should say it anyway. He is dying to."
"Has he said that?" Erin questions.
"He doesn't have to." Will replies, "I know I come across as the asshole of the group, but if there is one thing I know better than the human body, it would be those two over there." Will and Erin both smile as they watch the brother and sister relax into a slow dance, clearly having a conversation of their own. "He tries to look out for everyone, especially Abby and me." He exhales. "I think he took it the hardest when she died. Those two were so much alike; he was such a momma's boy. That's why he joined the army ya know, Mom's brother and dad were in it. He wanted to make her proud."
"I didn't know that." Erin replies.
"Yea, that one isn't much of a talker. Which is probably a good thing with Abby and I around. Anyway, he always worries and fusses over us. I need to be sure there is someone to worry and fuss over him, something I might add he does not let just anyone do. And you, Erin Lindsey, are just the woman for the job."
"Things are complicated."
"They don't have to be." Will states firmly, "You know the very first thing he ever told me about you?"
"That I have a great ass and won't let him drive?" Erin jokes, hoping to lighten the conversation.
"That you get what you want, at all costs. That you are the most determined person he has ever met. So do you want him?"
"Of course."
"Then get him. You'll find a way." He grins as the music stops, stepping away from Erin and turning towards the others. "I have an announcement to make. As you know my contract is up in a month's time, and I will be taking a position at Northwestern with Dad. Kids, I'm coming home." He grins as Abby jumps into his arms. "Clearly, you two need me." He smiles as Jay and him embrace.
"Mom would be so happy."
"Speaking of, Abby why don't you help me heat up Mom's favorite dish. I am starving." Will says as he pulls his sister into the kitchen.
"Thanks for staying." Jay smiles as he steps closer to Erin, "It means a lot that you are getting to know them."
"I am getting to know you better, too." She smiles, "Isn't it crazy that we would take a bullet for each other but this morning I couldn't have told you that you had siblings, let alone their names."
"I don't think its crazy at all." Jay answers as he points to a picture of the three kids huddled around their clearly sick mom. "She would have loved you, ya know? Your strength, your determination, she probably would like you more than she likes me."
"I don't know about that. From what I hear you were a momma's boy."
"Ha, Will is still jealous about that one."
"I'm serious though, you two would have loved each other. Mom was so kind, just a good person ya know? Abby gets a lot of that from her."
"You do too" Erin smiles as she picks up a picture of Jay in letterman's jacket, a crown on top of his head. "Homecoming king on top of it? You Halstead's are unbelievable."
"It feels like another lifetime ago."
"You were so cute."
"I bet high school Erin Lindsey was easy on the eyes too."
"High school Erin Lindsey was a mess, definitely not homecoming material."
"I would have taken you." Jay smiles.
"No, you wouldn't." Erin laughs, "but thank you for saying that."
"High school Jay had a thing for brunettes, I would have been putty in your hands."
"Who says your not still?"
Jay grins as he leans back into the couch. "She got sick when I was 15, died a year later. Dad couldn't deal, it was just the three of us for awhile. Money was never an issue, there was always food on the table clean clothes, the best of the best. But, no one ever talked to us, ya know? I guess that's why I don't talk much about it now. I just sort of had to keep my head down and take care of them. So two years later I get the chance to enlist and I jump on it. I felt bad leaving them, Abby was only 12. But I had to do it; I couldn't stand to be there any longer. It hurt too much. Dad was disappointed. I think he was scared to lose me too. Golden boy followed in his footsteps the way he wanted me to, and Abby well she was so young when it was all happening, I think she became a teacher to feel closer to Mom."
"Your Mom would have been proud of you, the way you take care of them. They both clearly adore you."
"They are my best friends, beside you."
"She would have been proud of you too, I mean the man you are. You are a mother's dream. Smart, brave, strong, caring."
"Same reasons she would have loved you." He answers.
"Same reasons why I love you."
"Same reasons I love you too." Jay grins, relieved to have the words out in the open.
"About damn time" Abby smiles from the kitchen as she shares a plate of pasta with Will.
"Happy Birthday, Mom." He grins as he takes a bite.
The End.
AN: I haven't written in so long, but I couldn't get this idea out of my mind. Thank you for reading!