Letters
The castle had been empty for three days. It had been decided that no action would be taken against Slytherin's monster until the petrified people were revived. That way they would have more information to go on before they acted. The mandrake root was still a few weeks away from being useable.
009 had used the available time to put into action Operation: Replace Idiots; Mission: History is a Snore. The picture he had drawn was becoming reality. It had taken some finagling to modify the howlers, but the results would be worth it. By the time the last owl left the owlery he felt more like Cliff Clavin than 009. Cliff needed a night at the pub. Too bad it was 6:00 in the morning.
An owl glided through Lucius's window and dropped a letter on the table. The letter sprung up into the air and a low drowning voice emerged...
On the eighth of February 1453 Edwin the Eld walked to Eltville. 683 goblins followed him. The group dug holes. Each goblin sat in a hole. Each goblin held a spear. They waited for the goblins of Eltville to come out. The Eltville goblins came out. They carried torches. Edwin's goblins pierced the Eltville goblins with their spears. The Eltville goblins dropped their torches. More of Edwin's goblins died than Eltville's.
On the ninth of February 1453 each group picked up the dead from their group and carried the bodies away.
On the tenth of February 1453...
Lucius snatched the letter from the air and unfolded it.
Dear Parent or Guardian,
You have been listening to a lecture by Professor Binn's, Hogwarts teacher of Magical History. If you are enjoying the lecture please put a check next to No, Hogwart's does not need a new history teacher. By checking no you can continue to enjoy many hours of lectures by Professor Binn's as the howler has been modified to play continuously. If you feel Hogwarts does need a new history professor please check yes and sign your name. This will cause the lecture to cease. If you feel you would be a good replacement professor please use this modified howler paper to record your own version of the lecture you have just heard.
Lectures should be addressed to Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. Signatures and checks on the petition will automatically be recorded.
Awaiting your replies,
Sincerely,
A Concerned Member of the British Wizarding Society
Many witches and wizards checked yes and signed immediately. A few fell asleep in their porridge and didn't sign until some other need aroused them from their slumber. The only no's came from the mothers of young children. Binn's lectures were a very valuable tool for getting babies to take a nap.
Dear S.S.,
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The clothes fit perfect! I take a lunch from Edesia's with me to the Y each day.
I've been to the Y three times. I've played basketball, ran races and lifted weights. There are a group of people my age that come by everyday after school. We play board games and they have been teaching me how to bowl. I had my first swimming lesson today. That was one of the classes I decided to sign up for. I had never been in a pool before today, but there is no need for you to count that as dangerous because I didn't go in by myself. There were teachers there helping us. I've also signed up for Judo lessons.
Aunt Petunia said I had to find my own way to and from the Y so I used my allowance to buy a bike at a garage sale. The bike was ten pounds, but the lock for it cost more than two pounds, but since I needed it to be able to go the gym I wrote it down as a necessary gym expenses to do the activities you told me to do rather than as an allowance expense.
How is Hermione? Has she been unpetrified yet?
I've got to go. Aunt Petunia wants me to mow the lawn.
Thanks again!
Mr. Fuss
Expenses
Swimming Lessons £30 for ten lessons.
Swim trunks £8
Towel £4.30
Judo Lessons £25 for ten lessons.
Judo uniform £40
Bike chain £4
Lock for locker £3.60
Allowance Expenses
Bike £10
Savings £2
Hi Harry,
Are you doing okay at the Dursleys? We'll come rescue you again if you need us to. Can you believe that stinking bat? Dropping me off at the Burrow and convincing Mum to get everyone she knows to take their kids out of Hogwarts!
Ginny freaked out over some diary she left at school. She actually tried to take the floo back to school! Mum stopped her though. Ginny threw a right tantrum after that. What's so important about a stupid diary?
Write soon.
Ron
Attention: Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall:
Here is my improved version of the lecture provided by Professor Binns that was recently delivered to my home.
There was a nip to the air on the evening of the eight of February 1453. 683 goblins crept through the shadows following their fearless leader, Edwin the Eld. The plan was to surprise their enemy from below. In the dead of the night they dug their holes. 673 goblins hid in the holes while ten others camouflaged each hole with leaves and branches. Those not in holes hid in the trees, ready to give the signal noise once the enemy approached.
All was going to plan. The Eltville goblins set out just before day break, using torches to light their way as they headed to where they believed the battle would take place. Edwin the Eld signaled his men to attack. Spears pierced through the camouflage stabbing unsuspecting Eltville goblins in the groin, feet and legs.
But here is where their perceived genius fell to pieces. With each stab a torch was dropped. Soon the field and former camouflage was ablaze. The holes were too deep for many of the goblins to escape from. Goblins from both sides turned to ash. When the fire finally died down on the ninth there were few bodies left to gather. Eltville claimed victory since more of their clan survived, but neither clan truly won because neither achieved their goal: to lay claim to any money made from the use of the Gutenberg press.
I am available for interview at your convince.
Sincerely,
P. Stewart
Dear Mr. Fuss,
I approve of your expenditures. You are correct in thinking you are not allowed to swim on your own until you have become a proficient swimmer.
Ms. Granger is yet petrified. The mandrake root should be ready in a few weeks.
Regards,
S.S.
Hi Ron,
I am at the Dursleys', but it isn't so bad this time. I have a membership to the Y. It's this place where you can go to play basketball, swim, lift weights, play racquet ball and other sports. It even has a game room with bowling and board games like Clue and Monopoly!
Hmm...there are probably things I just mentioned that you don't know about. Just think of it as a place where you can go to play sports and games.
That's really strange about your sister. She's always so quiet. I can't imagine her throwing a tantrum. But, if it is the diary I think it is it is a good thing your mum stopped her. It's probably the same diary that told me that Hagrid was the one to let the monster out. Writing in it was kind of addictive.
I hope 'Mione will be okay. Have you heard anything yet about exactly when they will be unpetrified?
I don't need a rescue at the moment, but I'll let you know if things change.
It'd be great if you could come to the Y sometime. Is Ottery Saint Catchpole anywhere near Surrey?
Keep in touch,
Harry