Steve explains to Fury, the same way Clint feels he seems to do everything - he's serious, he's honest, but he's also self-deprecating. He talks about how "those HYDRA bastards" were painting up the walls of the LGBTQ center with homophobic slurs and yelling insults while he was inside the Queer Resource Library, and when he went outside to confront them, they ganged up on him. Bucky makes a face here, mumbling something but Clint can't tell what, it isn't very clear. But Steve gives him a look, and he speaks clearly and loudly, just to annoy Steve, about how Steve is an idiot for thinking he could take on all of those guys by himself.

Their narrative degenerates there, with Steve telling Bucky that he's not "a scrawny shrimp" anymore and can take care of himself, while Bucky snaps back, "Obviously not, since I had to pull your ass out of there." There's a sense of "just like old times" throughout, although Fury isn't very amused.

One look at his face, and Steve and Bucky go back to recounting the story. While Steve was getting played with by the HYDRA dirtbags, Bucky had been walking back from class when he saw them. With his prosthetic arm and skinny jeans, the HYDRA students thought he was a potential target, at least until they saw the huge-ass muscles on his flesh arm. In his words, not Steve's or Clint's.

Steve interjects to mention that HYDRA didn't really give a fuck how much Bucky works out, they just saw his skinny jeans and thought he was "one of those disgusting queers." Bucky doesn't talk over him exactly, but once Steve finishes he picks up where he left off, almost as if Steve hadn't said anything. He'd gotten into the fight, too, although a bit more cautiously than Steve, and had punched around a few of the guys before they all left, now that the scales were more even.

The whole time, Fury keeps a very plain facial expression - his eyebrows don't move, he doesn't question anything, he keeps his face as neutral as possible. He looks almost angry, although Clint thinks that's just his natural facial expression. He doesn't seem to judge or try to guess, he just lets them talk (or rant, mostly). But once they're done, he has more than a few choice words.

"I will say that those HYDRA bastards need to be knocked down a peg or two," he starts, only to get more serious as Steve and Bucky exchange tiny grins, "but what the fuck were you two thinking? Or were you not thinking at all? Do you know who'll get in trouble if they tell the administration about it? Me. My ass is on the line here, not just yours."

Clint sees Steve bristle, while Bucky flinches, but next to him Natasha relaxes, even as Fury continues. "You made a stupid ass decision, and I'm not going to be the one cleaning up your messes, especially not this early in the quarter. It's only been two and a half weeks and you've already managed to fuck something up. You're not little freshmen anymore; you're all grown-ass adults here, act like it!"

Natasha leans over to bump her shoulder against his, and Clint eases before he even knew he was tense. She knows Fury much better than he does, and her reassurance lets him know that Fury isn't actually that angry. But he has a role to play and a job to do, as well as a reputation to keep up, even if he hates HYDRA.

"Officially, I can't get involved in this," Fury admits. "You know I hate those motherfuckers as much as you do, but as student director I have to be neutral." On "neutral," his tone changes to one of distaste, and the look in his eye tells Clint everything he needs to know about what'll happen next. "But off the record, if you do something, I want you to come to me first, okay? I don't need you running around fucking shit up for you and me."

Steve and Bucky look at each other again, and Clint sort of rolls his eyes at how in love they are. He isn't the only one to notice, either; Tony keeps staring at Bruce as he mouths "they're in love," complete with dramatically fluttering eyelashes and his hands clasped in front of his chest. Luckily, Fury doesn't notice, or at least he doesn't care to comment. Steve and Bucky don't say anything about it either, but they've finished their silent conversation or whatever it was, and Steve just grins at Fury.

"Understood, sir."

And Clint just knows that, cliche as it is, his life won't ever be the same again.