A/N: Do you know what's a bad idea? Checking email at work. I opened my inbox only to find dozens of favs, follows, and a few reviews…needless to say I was bouncing around for the rest of the night and my staff thought I was crazy! My fingers were itching to get back to my keyboard.

A Lot of information to take in for this chapter. Good? Bad? Let me know! Thanks for reading!

Twilight isn't mine…But Surviving is! :)

BPOV

The ride back from Port Angeles had been somber.

When we got back to the car Rose and Alice were beside themselves. They jumped out of the car and Alice pulled me into a hug. "Bella! Thank god you're okay!" she exclaimed.

"We should've gone to the bathroom with you…We're so sorry!" Rose said throwing her arms around both of us.

"It's okay. I'm okay" I said pulling back to look at them. "The boys saved me." I turned to look at them, "Thank you."

"Nobody fucks with my family, Bella. Nobody!" Emmett said as he and Jasper joined the group hug.

"No thanks needed. Like Emmett said, you're family now. I'm just sorry we didn't get there sooner." Jasper said. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me from behind, no words were needed.

After a few moments we decided to get on the road, we were already an hour later than we had planned to be. Emmett took over driving and Rose slipped into the passenger seat. Edward opened the door for me and I headed to the last row. He followed close behind grabbing my hand once we were settled in. I leaned towards him and he immediately wrapped his arms around me again. He held me the whole way back.

I had Emmett drop me off at the diner, telling him I was meeting my parents there for dinner. After the car disappeared from sight I headed towards the motel, my feet dragging on the pavement. It took all my effort to keep moving.

Faced with the harsh reality that I would be living on the streets again in just a few short hours, I headed straight for my bag once I stepped through the door. Before I have to endure this life again, I need to know why we were ever there in the first place. I need to know the truth.

''It's time.'' I say pulling the picture frame out, my parents smiling faces greet me. My hands begin to shake as I turn the frame over and open it. I grab the envelope inside, take a deep breath, and tear it open.

My Dearest Isabella,

I want to start by telling you how much your father and I love you. I want you to know that from the day we learned we were expecting; you were loved. I can still remember the day the doctor called and told us the news. We cried for hours. To know that the love your father and I shared could create the wonderful, beautiful, smart, caring woman you are today still brings tears to my eyes.

Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Without you I would have given up the moment your father died. You saved me every day. Thank you my sweet girl.

The life we've lead theses past few years…I wish we hadn't. You deserve everything life has to offer. I'm so sorry that I couldn't provide it for you. Every time I would see hunger on your face or longing in your eyes, I knew I failed as a mother. I know that you will never agree, but it doesn't make it any less true for me. I wanted to give the world…give you your heart's desire and I failed. I'm sorry.

Now you need to know why things happened the way they did, why our lives were turned upside down. You were so young so I don't know if you remember JJ.

JJ and your father were best friends from the moment they met. Your dad shared his cookies at lunch and to a five year old that means friends for life.

JJ had a very bad home life. His father was a controlling, abusive man and his mother was an alcoholic. His dad would hurt him and his mom everyday.

Your father tried to help him as much as he could throughout the years. Letting JJ stay over as often as he could, brought extra food so JJ didn't go hungry, anything and everything he could do, he did.

I know the exact day I feel in love with your father. It was the first day of high school and I had just moved to town. I stepped off the bus and saw JJ being pushed around and teased due to his very beat up clothing. I couldn't stand to see someone being bullied for something as dumb as the clothes they wore.

I didn't think I just ran over and shoved the guy that was pushing him. The guy turned around and raised his hand about to hit me. I closed my eyes and braced for the pain, but it never came.

I opened my eyes and saw your dad with the fiercest look on his face. He was twisting the guy's arm behind his back; telling him if he ever raised his hand to a woman or his best friend again there would be hell to pay. He released the boy and helped JJ off the ground checking him over to make sure he was okay. He then turned to me and thanked me for helping his best friend.

I was lost in his eyes and knew in that moment I had just met the man I would marry, the love of my life. After that day the three of us were inseparable. I was so in love with your father and everyday he would do something to make my love for him grow.

I was afraid to tell him how I felt for the longest. The first time I saw another girl flirting with him I saw green. JJ and I were walking down the hall towards the cafeteria when I saw the girl lean in and start playing with his hair. I looked at JJ and all he said was 'Go get your man'.

I walked straight up to him threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. I pulled back and told him that I had wanted to do that since the moment I had met him. He just stared at me.

I began to pull away, afraid he didn't see me that way. Before I could get far, his arms tightened around my waist and he pulled me towards him, our lips meeting once more. He pulled back slightly, looked deep into my eyes and told me he was going to marry me one day.

From that day on we were it for each other. Life was going so well for all of us. Your father and I deeply in love, and JJ was staying with your dad six nights a week.

When senior year hit everything went to hell. We found out that JJ's father had an affair and it resulted in a half brother for him. JJ's brother, Felix, was a couple years younger than us. He was sent to live with JJ's family because his mom had died and he had no other relatives.

He was worse than his dad. He was controlling, abusive, manipulative, and once he had set his eyes on something he wanted he didn't stop until he got it. He wanted me. I think the main reason he wanted me was the thrill of the 'hunt' as he put it. He knew I would never go with out with him. Even if I wasn't in love with your father, I would never have given him a chance.

Felix knew I couldn't stand him. The way he treated JJ and women was horrible. I knew for a fact that he had forced himself on some of the younger girls. They were just too afraid to tell anyone.

One time I was walking to the nurse's office and I heard a loud bang followed by someone crying. I turned the corner to see Felix leaving the janitor's closest. He glared at me and set off down the hall. I continued towards the nurse when I heard the crying start again.

I opened the door to see a girl curled into a ball crying and rocking back and forth. I knew what happened and tried to get her to go to the police. She wouldn't… So I did.

Once I stepped forward with what I knew and what I had seen, others began to come out and tell the truth. The trial was long and very emotional. I had to testify multiple times.

After the judge and jury heard from everyone, Felix was sentenced to ten years in jail. Not nearly enough for all the pain he caused.

The day he was taken from the courtroom he looked at JJ, your father, and I. He smirked and said 'JJ I'll see you in ten. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, SHE IS MINE! I guess you'll just have to learn it the hard way. Renee we are going to make the most beautiful daughter together.' And with that he was gone.

Right after graduation your father and I got married, JJ was the best man. We all moved to Jacksonville together. Your dad and JJ got good jobs at the bank and I tutored kids from our home. Five years later you came into our lives.

JJ was so happy to be an uncle. When we told him it was a girl he ran out and bought you a little pink dress, a doll, and a baseball bat. He said he was going to make you a star baseball player before the third grade…and the bat would also be used to keep the boys away. JJ loved you so much, he was your best friend.

The last time we saw JJ was the day before your fifth birthday. We knew something was wrong when he didn't show up for your party. After we put you to bed the police came to our door and told us JJ had been murdered. We knew immediately who did it. Ten years had flown by so fast.

A few days later you asked about JJ, you wanted to know if he was going to be at some function we were attending. It broke our hearts. We didn't have it in us to explain to you that JJ had died. We wanted to keep you in the bubble of a happy childhood for as long as possible. Sadly two weeks later the bubble popped and the events that lead us to where we are now unfolded.

I've noticed some odd things lately and if my feelings are right (and yes I know I tend to overreact) I think Felix is going to find us soon. I'm actually shocked he hasn't yet. He always had a lot of connections and when his dad died he was left with a pretty large bank account.

Bella, I'm so sorry I won't be there for you when you need me the most. To help you with your first date, your first job, when you get married, when you bring your own beautiful children into this world, and so many other milestones. Please know that JJ, your father and I will always be with you in spirit.

Never hold yourself back because you're afraid. I'm so glad I took the risk and helped JJ that day. Doing so gave me the love of my life and best friend.

The day I kissed your dad I took the biggest risk of my life. I put my heart on the line. It turned out to be the best thing I ever did. That one risk gave me everything. It gave me you.

I want you to take risks Bella! You never want to have regrets. It's better to leap and fall, then to stand still and wonder what if.

I'm going to end this letter saying Happy Birthday (because this is the day that our lives became whole, the most important day ever to us), Congratulations (I want you to look at this part of the letter anytime anything important happens in your life, this is your father, JJ, and I giving you our well wishes), and We Love You!

All My Love Always,
Mommy

I drop the letter and run to the bathroom, expelling the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I continue to dry heave until my body can't take anymore, collapsing onto the bathroom rug. I pull my knees to my chest and let my tears fall. This man singlehandedly destroyed my family, my life. He took everyone I ever loved away from me because he 'enjoyed the hunt'.

I think about JJ, trying to remember him. He was so important to me, to my parents, so why can't I remember him? A sudden flash of long black hair and a bright big smile flood my mind. Is that you JJ?

My mind and body are so exhausted that I don't even attempt to move off the bathroom floor before I fall asleep thinking of my parents and enigma that is JJ.

"JJ is that your real name?" I asked as we sit on the swings eating ice cream cones.

"No Bella-boo. My full name is Jacob Jason Black Jr. I was named after my dad." JJ said. I looked over at him. Why does he look so sad?

"Why do we call you JJ then? Why not Jacob?" I asked taking a lick of my melting ice cream cone.

"Bella-boo my dad is…he was...he could be a very mean man. Besides, I like JJ better. Don't you?" He asks swinging back and forth slightly.

"Yeah, it's cooler. Sorry your daddy is mean. You can share mine with me! He's the best daddy ever!" I say finishing my ice cream.

He smiles at me and stands up. "Thank you Bella. You're right he is the best." He gets behind me and pulls my swing back. "Now, don't you have a birthday coming up?" He gives me a big push and laughs as I squeal with delight.

After I woke up a few hours later I started the bath and climbed in. I stayed in it for hours, running over my dream of JJ again and again. Now that I had a little of him back, I'd be damned if I let it go again.

When the water would chill I would drain the tub and refill it. Who knew how long it would be until I could bathe in an actual tub again. I wanted to hold on to the luxuries I currently had for as long as possible.

Once I had my fill of the bath I got out and flipped the TV on. I needed to check out the weather forecast for the week. It's better to know what kind of weather conditions I'll be facing. I listened intently as the weather man explained about a cold front moving in.

The problems were going to start right away. It was going to rain on and off all day for at least the rest of the week with the temperatures ranging from the high 40's/low 50's during the day, to the high 20's/low 30's at night. The wind was coming from the north which gave the possibility of things icing over at night or even freezing rain during the early evenings.

After I made sure I had everything of mine packed I set the alarm for 10:40am. That would leave me twenty minutes to gather my stuff and check out before I would be charged for another night. I snuggled into the blankets and put the picture of my parents on the pillow next to me, the letter safely inside the frame again. "I love you both." I said as sleep found me once more.

Before I knew it the alarm was going off and I was forcing myself out of the bed. I took care of my needs, did one last check of the room, and set off towards the office.

"Another night Bella?" Mrs. Cope asked as I stepped into the lobby.

"No thank you Mrs. Cope. I have found a permanent residence. Thank you and Mr. Cope for all your hospitality." I tried to keep my voice cheerful. She couldn't know that my 'residence' would most likely be an alley.

"No problem dear! We loved having you. Come visit anytime!" she said as I handed her the key. I nodded and waved as I headed out the door, not trusting my voice anymore.

Once I was out of the lobby I allowed my mind to drift towards my friends as I zipped my coat up, attempting to block the bitter winds. How am I supposed to hang out with them if I have nowhere to go at the end of the night? Where can I leave my stuff so they don't see me carrying my life around in a suitcase? I can't risk losing my belongings. It's happened too many times before.

I begin to walk down the road, trying to decide what to do or where to go. In Phoenix, we didn't have this problem. It was a big city where people, for the most part, minded their own business. This town is tiny. It has less than 4000 people. "What am I going to do?" I mumble as I cross another road.

Before I know it, I've been walking for about an hour and my mind finally realizes where my feet have been leading me. I'm heading towards the Cullen's home.

That's it! They have so much space on their property they won't even notice if I camp out on their land! It's the perfect plan! I won't run the risk of being found by just anyone, let alone the cops, and my stuff will be safe when I need to leave it.

A small smile returns to my face as I pick up the pace. I figure I have about three hours to get there before school gets out. I alternate between speed walking, jogging, and running. I need to make it there before Edward or his parents get home and see me.