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Of Times Past

Chapter 4

Clouds Come Again

The wind was instilled with a damp sting as it blew, the grounds covered in what appeared to be remnants of rain. Puddles abjured themselves across acres of pavement, the neon lights, appraised of recherché, of tacky quoted signs reflected almost ambiguously in the dead heart of night; it was the city. The city was quiet, a hallow sweep echoing from the harbor up into the wind turbines spinning; it was lethargic, contorted, an incoherent madness of complete order, yet utter chaos within; it was real.

Hiro didn't know where he was; somewhere east of the main district of town, only he couldn't stop. He had to keep running, for some incogitable rationale; Hiro had to keep his legs moving.

A train suddenly emerged to his right; startling him yet not relenting him in his pursuit of flee. The dim green of the nearby lights made an odd aura around the moving compartment, and as Hiro watched it speed off around a corner, he was vaguely hit with a feel of disgust, some odd déjà-vu hitting his gut. It was there that he realized he was staring at the same place Callaghan, at the time Yokai, tried attacking him and his friends as they tried in vain to lose him.

Hiro had slowed to a standstill a few minutes ago, just simply standing on the outskirts of a warehouse, still staring at the same memory of where Callaghan stared back, reflecting on the events past, as well the present. Memories flooded back, and he remembered why he was running, why he had sudden hatred in his heart, but as well why he wanted to burst into tears all at the same time.

They couldn't have meant what they said...right?

You heard them.

But why?

Because they hate you! You never were their friend, always, "Tadashi's little brother." You were never, Hiro Hamada.

"That's not true..."

Of course it is. You're just lying to yourself now. But you've gotten so well at that haven't you? All the lies you tell everyone every day?

"Stop it..."

How can you keep up that facade? How can you look them in the eye every day?

"Please..." Hiro had slowly put his hands to his head, backing up against the cold metal of the building behind him, arching his back.

What would Tadashi think?

"SHUT UP!"

Hiro slammed his fists into the sides of his head, nearly ripping his hair out in the process. A dull pain washed over his head, an ache in par with his heart. His face was scrunched in pain, perpetuated by the agony inside driving him to cry out. He was lucky he was on an empty side of town, or else passerby's would probably deem him crazy.

Who was he kidding, he was crazy.

Hiro sighed, letting his hands fall limply to his sides.

What had happened to him? The boy genius, loved by his family, reckless and immature, only care in the world was what bot-fight to attend next, so carefree, where did the innocence go that was once there, when did he stop being a child? Why, why was his innocence taken from him? Why did he have to grow up so quickly? It wasn't fair, was it? He had to lose his parents, of course he couldn't remember them, yet the oddity still was he could say he didn't have parents. Children shouldn't be able to say that. Children shouldn't say they've seen loss as he has. Children shouldn't say they cut themselves every night in response to the disgust and hatred they feel boiling inside. Children shouldn't become of the world, and the world shouldn't be of children. Children shouldn't lose their child, the thing that makes them whole, their spirit, their innocence; children shouldn't lose themselves. It isn't fair, it isn't, but this was, is, life, and everyone has to play the game whether they want to or not.

Life had dealt Hiro its hand, and Hiro had to live with it.

The gentle brush of water entered his ears, and he found himself walking along the docks of the eastern harbor, the wind colder, and much stronger here than in the heart of the city.

His body felt run down, worn and broken, yet by some miracle it was still functioning, like a robot without a charge. The parts where there, still running and operational, but what was powering the moving locomotive? Where was the purpose?

He saw none, for there was none. The only purpose he rationalized was his family. Aunt Cass, Tadashi, both were why he lived. He could deal with bullying in his younger years, if only for the late night movies with the three of them, the mornings Tadashi would wrestle him out of bed, the hours spent tinkering away in their garage, before growing up enough courage to show his family his invention, and ravish in the love and praise he received always, he could deal with everything. But now, his once small world was blistered open, and no amount of antiseptic or cauterization could repair this wound.

He sighed, heavy, strained, Hiro was exhausted. He wanted the world to stop, please, just for a little while, let him rest. But the world never stops spinning, no matter how much you crave relief.

Hiro stopped, feet at the edge of the wooden plank he was on, an empty array of darkness below him as the headlamp above illuminated the enriched waters below. This was where Gogo had flown them into the bay, an escape trying to flee from Callaghan. It was where Baymax had stopped him from falling in; he too focused on the pursuit of finding Callaghan, the thief of his microbots and cause of his brother's death.

Why did everything hurt?

He looked towards the mist out away from shore, ambiguous and inviting in a sense; it seemed the night was sympathetic to his woe.

Why would they say that about him?

Why didn't they care about him...?

Hiro swore he heard a low chuckle in the back of his mind.

Why would anyone care about you?

Regrettably, he knew it was right.

Storms had amassed themselves repetitively over San-Fransokoyo for the next few days, each hour being grey and slightly ominous as to whether rain might fall. The streets had puddles left over from various storms, and off in the distance the small plight of children was heard as their feet splashed in the water soaked pavement.

Hiro was currently walking along some side street, late morning and bright, most people were hustling about, some just shopping while others were on call for their jobs; no one really spared a glance towards the 15 year old that should be in school, no one really cared.

Hiro knew he should be in classes right now, but the thing about College, you don't have to go if you don't want too. Unlike high school with its strict regulations about attendance, University doesn't necessarily require one to be in class, however there were the occasional class to where it did matter, but Hiro didn't care at the moment. He knew he was smart enough to pass without attending, and he especially didn't want to see the people there, he was avoiding them for a reason you know.

For some reason, today the voice was quiet, muffled and somehow sedated. The growing storm in the back of Hiro's mind seemed to be calm, if only for now, and the grotesques snarl inside was bit back behind iron bars again, if only for now. He didn't know when it would come back, nor did he really care, but he was slightly worried about the moment that it did. It could come at any moment, and thus Hiro was put on edge. But, you know, for the time being Hiro did allow himself to bask in the silence, even if it would be short lived.

A square market was in front of him, shops and various people were bustling ahead, chatting amongst themselves as merchants tried to seduce their prey; it was all very unpicturesque if Hiro would to oblige.

But no matter, he figured. Nothing beats going back to SFIT, and especially not the Café.

And so, Hiro merged is way into the crowd, soon becoming lost in a sea of churning waters.

Most of his days became this. Skipping class, avoiding at all costs seeing the others, and making half-assed lies when they would actually come to the Café and demand to see Hiro; it was getting exhausting.

Each day Hiro was quickly falling deeper and deeper into that empty black abyss stretched out before him, growing wider and wider, deeper and deeper, and each day he gained more and more reasons to jump into death. It now looked inviting, warm and protected; it had suddenly become an answer to his problem; the problem to which he could finally solve for of his life.

Each night he'd look at more ways on how to do it, each time pondering how he could finally have relief. He thought of Aunt Cass, her being the only thing keeping his feet planted on solid ground, but as the days went on, he began finding, or rather, creating justification for this. He couldn't leave her, not after losing Tadashi, she couldn't lose both her boys, but then it became alright, she had gotten over Tadashi, why not Hiro?

Soon that developed into a two edged sword, Hiro's mind finding reason in that she really didn't care about him, no she only put up with him. Tadashi was the golden child, the mature, respectful man who always helped around the house, but Hiro? Hiro was the delinquent, the rebel, the selfish punk whose bratty attitude never seemed to achieve enough satisfaction. She hated him. He deserved to be smacked, begotten, left to rot in an endless mutilation, archaic and raw; what was he really?

He was Hiro Hamada.

He was nothing.

The days grew far and few in between, a colloidal mesh of greys and blurred lines, the rain clouds came again, and Hiro's soul became more and more despondent.

"Again, please forgive me."

"Oh will you shut up already Hamada! We already told you its fine!"

Gogo groaned in frustration, her teeth seething in annoyance. Tadashi had been apologizing to them for the last 3 hours for what he had said to them just days before, and quite frankly, she was annoyed.

The group of scientists, Fred always included, barley missed a beat before they reassured the man. They understood what was happening, no they weren't experiencing it, and no they can't say they truly understand it, but they realize situations such as this make you do or say certain things, and no one from their small group took it in any way offensive; it only showed them just how much Tadashi truly cared for his brother, a brother he hadn't physically spoken to in over a year.

"But I am! I shouldn't have said those things to you!" He all but pleaded.

"Tadashi," Honey's small voice said through the timbre of voices in the Lucky Cat Café. "It's okay." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "We understand, and we forgive you."

Tadashi looked up to her, a small smile forming on the upturn of his lips.

"Thank you." He whispered just as quiet.

That moment held for a second, before Aunt Cass had proceeded to startle them all by rushing into their little group, trays of various snacks held in her hand.

"Okay I got hot wings, chips, some tea, soda for Fred, sandwiches; don't worry I've got some more in the back if you guys run out. Let's feed those hungry bellies of yours!"

The food was promptly thrown onto the table they were at, and most if not all jumped at the sudden intrusion. Fred, more or less however, was sighted as drooling on the spot, his eyes widening with glee at the food being put before him.

The surprise wore off when Fred had proceeded to literally dive into the platters, some sauce flying and accidentally landing on Wasabi's shirt, him crying out in alarm.

The team burst out laughing, Tadashi even letting out a few chuckles in what seemed like forever; it was amazing how foreign a laugh could feel, if experienced after such a long time.

As Wasabi began a Lengthy argument with the comic enthusiast, Tadashi let his mind grip over his small cloud of loved ones. Aunt Cass was hurrying to grab napkins to help clean off Wasabi, Fred, various pieces of meat hanging from his mouth, Honey giggling softly as she delicately took small bites from her food, and Gogo even was smiling as she sipped on her drink; this was his life, and he couldn't be more grateful.

As he looked at them, blossoming warmth enveloped in his chest, he really didn't know what he'd do without them.

It was there, he made another vow; Hiro was going to experience this. When he wakes up, Tadashi made it a plan to show Hiro this, this love and affection, this unrelenting force that enveloped you unconditionally; Hiro needed this, everyone needed this.

He knew his little brother was going to make it.

The days began to slip by in a forward pace, the school year starting again, and the colder months soon sweeping in from the north. Tadashi visited Hiro every day, just as he always did, even some days bringing in small parts of his current school project, feeling just an ounce of connection with his Otouto again. He kept up with robotics because he knew that was Hiro's passion, it was his as well, but had nearly lost it weeks after the fire. But, he knew Hiro wouldn't want him to stop inventing, to stop trying to build the world to the utopia in his head, Hiro would want Tadashi to keep living, and so, he did, if only for his little brother.

October eventually came, and eventually departed, Tadashi of course, happily taken to decorating not only the Café, but Hiro's hospital room as well. It was bittersweet, but, strangely enough it felt okay in a way. He imagined that maybe, just maybe, Hiro could see them all, happily smiling celebrating alongside him, it made him happy to know that Hiro was here, Hiro is here.

They all smiled as they finished hanging the last orange banner, now decor of various Cats, yes even Mochi, streamers of orange and black, and various other items hung around the room. As happy as he was, Tadashi was always bittersweet to it. Hiro's passive face, the dull beat of his heart monitor, it all reminded him that his little brother had missed out on a year of his life, he had even turned 15, and Hiro wasn't there to celebrate it. This pain was always there in Tadashi's mind, always a prominent reminder of what he's done, but, it also gave way for what he couldn't do. Tadashi wouldn't ever place him in a situation like he did the night of the fire, and nay will anyone else he knows.

He bent down, a small kiss allocating on Hiro's forehead. Tadashi reached out, feeling the soft black locks between his hands; he gently rubbed Hiro's head, affectionately and warm, he only regretted when he had to pull away.

"I love you Hiro..."

Okay, so I have a question.

In the film, do you remember when Tadashi said "Wow, washed up at 14, so sad." ? Thus, he tells you Hiro's age. Well, on the wiki, it tells you Hiro's 12 in the movie. I don't know if it's an official Wiki, I'll leave the link to it at the bottom of this, but I'm unsure of which age to use? Personally, I'm thinking of just going with what the movie said; it seems more official than a wiki page. Send me a pm or a review and let me know what you think! Okay, on to the reviews!

Link to Wiki: ideas . wikia wiki / Hiro_Hamada

Glee Clue Rock 1251: Thank you! :)

Shoyzz: I'm glad you saw the parallels between the two worlds! It helps me know I'm not totally insane with how I write. xD

Snowflake: I know! :( I'll make sure it happens soon! Baymax! Give Hiro and Tadashi a hug!

Thunderwolf2456: Why thank you! :)

Twistedfangirl: Don't cry! Baymax! Baymax: *hands you a lollipop* Do not worry, crying is a natural response to pain. Would you like a hug? *stretches arms out*

seems-pretty-legit: Sure! I hope it's not too confusing. D:

Okay, so everything in my story is the same up till the moment Tadashi runs into the fire. Hiro actually runs in after him, and as he's trying to find Tadashi, he spots him about to be hit by a falling beam. So, Hiro runs and pushes him out of the way, and the beam consequently falls on him. From that, Hiro suffers such a blow to the head, he gets a concussion and falls unconscious. Tadashi thus proceeds to save him, and the building explodes etc. etc. Tadashi suffered some injuries as well, but only burns and broken limbs as opposed to Hiro's full blown coma. Now, from where my story starts, it's been almost a year since the fire, and Hiro is still stuck in the coma.

If you're wondering why Hiro's world seems skewed, as in why would College kids beat up a 14 year old, it's because it isn't real. Hiro's mind made this world, and his inner demons are what fuel it, thus, everyone seems to hate him, and he rapidly believes it. It's why in one line I wrote, none of this seems to add up, because it isn't supposed to. I hope that makes sense. D: If you'd like send me a pm with any questions you have, I'd be more than happy to respond. :)

In response to if I take requests, I've never been asked, so I can't say if I do or don't! Haha. I'm not exactly sure if it's something I'd want to do, but I'd love to at least try it. :) Are we talking more on the line of one-shots, or full length stories such as this one?

BrokenWings2602: Yes, completely! However, Tadashi and the rest of them stopped Callaghan before he could fully utilize Hiro's microbot technology. *spoiler sort of* In the next chapter, there will be an altercation between Tadashi and Callaghan, and I'll make sure to explain everything. :)

Kitsune Foxfire: Thank you!

Cielo Viola: Yes, Hiro does have to die. Hopefully what I wrote in this chapter hints about how he's going to. :/ I'm sorry for all the angst!

Safeara4ever: Thank you!

RazzlePazzleDooDot: Pretty much what's going to happen! But don't worry, I'll have plenty of cuddles with Tadashi and Hiro, maybe Baymax, so Hiro feels safe. :) His Nii-san will be there for him.

Sushi Hawkeye: I'm thinking of having in the next couple of chapters. Maybe not next chapter, but the chapter after that Hiro may wake up. I'm still not sure when I want him too, but I know it will be soon. :)

Purpalz Miner: It was more on the lines of Tadashi putting himself SO much into robotics, he was using that to forget about everything, including the pain he felt about Hiro. But saying he was replacing Hiro, it was more of a stronger way to put that since he felt so much love towards Hiro, and it would be more easier for their group to understand rather than saying "I think he's throwing himself into his work too much." One seems stronger, and better suited for what was going on. Of course, Tadashi threw this out of proportion because of the guilt he felt over Hiro's state. Hopefully this chapter resolved that! :) Thank you, by the way! It makes my heart happy. Don't worry, I'm updating, taking baths, and I LOVE ALL MY FOLLOWERS! I love you too. :) You made my night sir. :P

chrnarnia3: Me too! *hugs for everyone* Honey Lemon is adorable too. She reminds me of me in my High School chemistry class. xD I would geek out ALL the time. What's even worse, is that I'm registering for my 2nd semester in college, and I'm taking Chemistry again. I'M SO EXCITED! I wonder if I can make things explode like she did... :)

camitake: I know. :( Hopefully this chapter made up with some fluffy stuff. I'll try to make it more happy soon!

lambtastic: Like I said earlier, it was just a way for them to word it in a way that they were all on the same page. But it was completely 100% worded wrong. That was intentional. When under stress, even when it's not your own, you think and do things that aren't right. You say things wrong, you do things wrong, even though your heart is trying to do what is right. I hope that makes sense. D:

Guest: *Spoilers* He will. But, only to wake him up from the coma he's in. Sort of like inception *BWHAAAAAAM* Sorry...couldn't resist the sound effect moment. ._. I'm a dork.

Wheeee: He should in the next couple of chapters. I promise. :)

DestinyWing: Yup those are the two parallels. Like I wrote to other reviewers, they were saying that to Tadashi in response to what they couldn't really put into words correctly, if that makes any sense. Tadashi was throwing himself into his work to much, and the only way she could really think of describing that was to say he was replacing Hiro. Completely wrong way to say that, and there are a million other ways to say that, but under stress, you say things you wouldn't normally say, and you think completely wrong things a lot of the time. Hiro, in his dream like state, heard what she was saying, and his mind interpreted it in it's own way. Due to his already bad mental state, his mind brought it out in a way that they really didn't like Hiro, and never saw them as one of them *something Hiro believed but isn't true*. I'm sorry none of this is really clear, hopefully as the story progresses it will make things more understandable. I tend to write down things, and even though I understand them completely, others don't because it isn't in their head, it's in mine. XD I have to work on that...

JewelStruck: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! :)

TheKreibae: Yup! You picked up on it. :D

Aqua Elsa: No, no, no, no- you weren't pushy at all! I actually like comments like that because it always helps me to view my story in a different way. You know, like Tadashi would say, you have to view it in a different angle. But by doing that, I realize how I want my story to progress, and even though your comment wasn't how I wanted to go, it helps me see how I DO want it go even clearer, if that makes any sense. ._.

Booyahkasha: *gets out a megaphone* WAKE. UP. HIROOOOOO!

Insecurity's Sanity:

Hiro: But we don't know you...

Tadashi: You touch my brother you'll regret it.

Baymax: I fail to see how violence such as that will make your mental state any better. Hugs are, in fact, a great way to relieve stress and sadness, and improve one's emotional state.

*Tadashi proceeds to face-palm while Hiro simply stares at the inflatable marshmallow*.

Me: I'm sorry my muses kind of took control there for a minute...GO GIVE THEM A HUG YOU AWESOME PERSON YOU!

TooLazyToLogin: 17 times in the past hour? THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS. Outrageous, outrageous!? 15 DOLLAPS? If you know what that's from I'll seriously will love you. Thank you for your review. I really do appreciate every single one of them, and read them all. I'm glad you're enjoying this! I'll make sure to get the next one up as soon as I can! :)

*releases breath* wow...that...was...a lot.

That is everyone who has reviewed the last chapter, so if you don't see your name, you either didn't review, or you didn't look hard enough. How I do this is I go to the last chapter, and the last person who I wrote back too, I start the person after them as the top person I write back to on here. If that makes sense -.- I do respond to every reviewer :) If I somehow didn't, because I do make mistakes, then send me a pm! I will apologize and then send out dozens of cookies to you, all shaped like Baymax.

In other news, I swear, seeing Big Hero 6 for a 3rd time for me is cursed. I have tried to go see it a third time in the theaters for about 2 weeks now, and every single one of my plans ends up being canceled for some reason. SOMETHING WON'T LET ME SEE THE MOVIE A THIRD TIME. WHAT IS THIS? STOP IT WORLD. LET ME GO SEE THE HAMADA BROS IN ACTION. ._. I need help...

Thanks for reviewing, following, and favoring everyone! I appreciate all of you! :)

As Always,

R&R

P.S. IT'S DECEMBER. WHICH MEANS CHRISTMAS IS COMING! :DDDDD