I am Mr. Wiley, the manager of McTacozzia and I have had a busy few weeks. I have never met the owner/financier of this new company, but we communicate almost daily via letters. Each of us have an envelope with an apparition charm. We simply have to put a letter in the envelope and it will appear in the other person's envelope. It is truly a remarkable charm and a well guarded secret of one of the restaurants in Diagon Alley. We had to pay the owner of that restaurant to put the charm on the envelopes and on the boxes we will be using to deliver food. It cost our fledgling company a pretty galleon, but the owner and the goblins are sure it will pay off in the end.
I don't even know the name of the owner. It is a stipulation in my contract that I am never allowed to ask for the owner's name; I will know him only by his alias, until such time as the owner chooses to change that stipulation of the contract. To me, he is Toby Levi W.D. (Wizard Director), but more often he just signs his letters as T.L.
The first letter came three weeks ago with T.L.'s idea for how to get the food.
Mr. Wiley:
I'm sure the goblins have explained to you the base premise for McTacozzia. Obviously there needs to be a way to obtain the food. I was thinking that we'd hire employees with a talent for disguise. They could be stationed near the fast food businesses so they can go in and buy the items as they are needed. Then they can put the purchased items in one of the apparition boxes which will instantly deliver the food to the diner truck. I have written an advertisement to go in the classified section of the Daily Profit and any other periodicals you feel applicable.
Wanted:
A person skilled in modifying their appearance and persona. Hourly pay -
I'll leave you to decide the amount to pay.
Sincerely,
Toby Levi W.D.
P.S. As I'm sure the goblins explained, I'd like opening night to be at Hogwart's theater night on May 15. Please arrange this.
The dinner following the play was easily arranged. The goblins had drawn up the contract, all I needed to do was have Dumbledore agree to it and sign it. As to his idea for how to obtain food...well, I nixed that idea pretty quickly. The overhead would be enormous. Paying full price for the product and paying someone to go in and buy it!? What a ridiculous business plan. It sounds like something devised by a 13 year old.
I have negotiated contracts with the fast food companies my employer was interested in. They were agreeable, with only a bit of magical persuasion, to allow us to purchase the ingredients they use at a whole sale price. I also managed to sneak into the contract, amongst all the lawyer jargon a tiny line: We will use our own packaging. I know it isn't completely ethical, or in most cases legal, to claim an item is completely your own when in reality your are just putting your own name on someone else's product, but hey, they did sign the contract. If they choose not to read it carefully that is their failure, not mine. Besides, it is not like we will have the same customer base.
The next thing to be dealt with was the packaging. I'll admit that my employer was on the mark on this one. He sent me his sample designs, including:
-A fry packet with brooms zipping around and a burger wrapper with snitches zooming.
-Five taco wrappers, one with griffins, one with badgers, one with snakes, one with ravens and one with all four creatures. Each had an icon trigger at the top so customers could switch from one House's symbol to another, or could have all four symbols if they were too young to have been sorted.
-The pizza box design had a big question mark that lifted to reveal a card, similar to the chocolate frog cards, but the famous people on the cards would be Quiditch stars or famous musicians depending on the venue for the truck at the time.
-Two weeks ago he sent me another letter:
Mr. Wiley,
As you know, our grand opening will be at Hogwarts theater night. One of the students in the art department has designed a poster for each of the actors in the play. Could you negotiate a contract with them? I'd like to have the posters miniaturized and used as collectors cards with the pizzas on opening night as well as for a few weeks after theater night to encourage customers to order from McTacozzia while the cards are still available.
Regards,
T.L.
As if I didn't have enough on my plate what with arranging for the purchase of a diner truck, having the enchantments put on it so it can zip from place to place, purchasing the boxes and having the apparition charms applied, contract negotiations for the food, transportation of the food to the truck, advertising and hiring! Too bad it is a finically sound idea. So I added it to my ever growing stack of things to do.
Then came T.L.'s next scheme.
Mr. Wiley,
It would be good if our company had appeal to children. I've known kids who can get their parents to buy anything. If we have something kids want they'll pester their parents to get it. We could have special packaging just for kids like they do at the muggle restaurants. For toys maybe we could give tiny toy snitches that only fly a maximum of one or two meters above the ground.
T.L.
To: T.L.,
Toy snitches are too expensive to offer with a meal. Besides, children running after them will inevitably spill food and their parents will demanding a free replacement meal.
Sincerely,
Mr. Wiley
To: Mr. Wiley,
Well then, how about transformers. We could have griffins that morph into a centaur, or snakes that change into a bow and arrow. Ravens could fold into a book. Badgers I'm not sure about, maybe a Venus Fly Trap?
T.L.
To: T.L
These ideas are quite cost prohibitive. Besides, we are running a restaurant, not a toy store.
Mr. Wiley
Mr. Wiley,
As owner of this company I say these ideas will work. It is your job to make them happen.
Goal: Provide children with a simple transformer with their meal. Have large, more complex versions built which can be sold for a higher price.
Please write or draw your plan for how to achieve this goal by the end of the week.
Sincerely,
Toby Levi Wizarding Director
I'd bang my head on the table but I didn't think a headache would help accomplish everything I had left to do.
Delegate, delegate, delegate. My cousin, who lives in Arizona, always tries to accomplish his goals independently, and he always fails miserably. His mistakes are not ones I choose to repeat. Any goal can be accomplished if you have enough people working to achieve it. So I advertised jobs in the morning, interviewed in the afternoon, and had them working by that evening.
Luckly, my new boss didn't have anymore wild brainstorms and our exchanges became more simplistic and less frequent, with me sending one daily report and him verifying his approval.
Back at Hogwarts...
Hermione was too observant and too curious. The envelope was attracting her attention. I decided I could hide it from her by pretending to use the bathroom each time I traded correspondence with Mr. Wiley. Big mistake. She concluded I must have subscribed to some kind of ...ah...well...something geared toward teen boys. I blush when I think of it. Literally. But it made me curious, perhaps there was such a thing and I really could use it as my cover. Besides, I am a 13 year old boy, it is only right for me to be curious about such things. A brief conversation with the twins let me know that such subscriptions did exist and they gave me an order form.
Back to Mr. Wiley...
The last three weeks have been hectic. It was quite fortuitous of me to invest in the company Potions de Laso when I choose this career path. Since I began this new job I have consumed: 18 pepper ups, 12 hold your waters (for back to back business meetings), 42 calming draughts and tonight, opening night, a Felix Felicis. The bonus is, I get profits off the investments, but I didn't have to pay for the potions! I have a rider in my contract that states my employer must cover the cost of potions required to perform my job.
Tonight was the night we would discover if our business would succeed or flop. T.L. had informed me that he would be present, but that he was not ready to divulge his identity. He was the financial backer and the idea guy, but all the work was left to me. Well, me and my underlings, which on this night included the house elves of Hogwarts. T.L. sent me the following note last week.
Mr. Wiley,
It is my goal to keep good relations between McTacozzia and the other intelligent races. As not to offend the elves of Hogwarts I request you utilize their effort in preparing the opening night meal.
Sincerely,
T.L.
Which brings us back to tonight. Below the Great Hall the house elves busily wrapped burgers, chicken sandwiches, and tacos. Steaming pizzas, chicken nuggets and fries were incased in cardboard containers. Soda syrup was blended with seltzer water and was poured into goblets and pitchers.
One elf burped and hiccuped. Little soda bubbles floated out of his mouth. This got some of the younger ones laughing and trying each of the soda flavors themselves. Another sampled a fry and then grabbed ten packages and darted off through a little door to consume the rest of his prize. I saw a few boggled eyes follow him and start to reach for one of the enticing items themselves. "Stop!" All of the three feet beings froze. "I swear on my magic that once the wizards have been served there will be a party in here and all of you will be allowed to sample these items to your hearts content. But until that time I expect the professionalism generally shown by house elves." A few looked chagrined, others looked excited and the older ones stood proud and demonstrated their professionalism.
With the elves in hand I went up to check on the Great Hall. The new employees, who would after this evening do the jobs of making, packaging, and selling the product, were just floating the last chairs and tables into place. The style and number of tables had needed to be modified due to the families of the students staying for the evening meal.
Ah...there it is. The tell tale sounds of a hungry crowd. The doors swung open and witches and wizards swarmed the tables. They seemed quite wound up about something and several minutes passed before they had seated. I took my que from the teachers of old. I stood tall, shoulders back on the dais and waited silently for those gathered to acknowledge my presences and grow naturally silent.
"Welcome to the grand opening of McTacozzia. The cost of tonight's meal will be covered by the silent art auction you are all invited to participate in. We hope you have enjoyed your evening so far and will enjoy the meal to come. At the end of the evening we will provide each of you with a company menu which will allow you to order items simply by touching your wand to the names of the desired items. As this will be your first taste of our products each table will be laden with a variety of our menu items."
With a flick of my wand a goblet of soda materialized in front of each person. I raised the one in front of me, "A toast." The assembled masses each rose their goblets. "To new beginnings and future returns."
Glasses clinked and voices chimed out:
"Saluté!"
"Cheers!"
"To the future!"
I held my breath. Perhaps I should have warned them that the bubbly in the glass wasn't champagne. Then I released the breath. A few of societies upper crust were glaring at the fluid, but the vast majority were pleased with the taste. I hoped the muggleborns wouldn't give us completely away. I already could hear a few cheerful voices exclaiming the names of their favorite sodas.
I signaled a chime charm with my wand and again gained my audience attention. "To those of you who prefer a more traditional beverage pumpkin juice and butter beer and tea are also available. Please enjoy the feast!"
Another swirl of my wand indicated to the house elves that it was time for the food to be transferred to the Great Hall. The scent of crisp fries, tomato sauce mixed with melted cheese, and spicy imitation Mexican food wafted through the room.
The focus turns to center on one of the circular tables surrounded by a family.
"What is this?" The man gingerly lifted a thin piece of paper and sniffed at the thing.
"Wow! Dad look at the outside of the paper! It has snakes on it!" The dad instantly dropped the thing. "Not real snakes Dad! Pictures look!" The child reached out and touched an icon and the paper transformed to yellow with snarling badgers. The taco rolled onto the man's plate as he inspected the paper and rotated through each icon, finally settling on his own house, the raven. He again sniffed the thing. "Just try it, Dad. You've always said we won't know if we'll like something until we've tried it." The man lifted an eyebrow to his child and then lifted the thing to his mouth. Both eyebrows lifted as he chewed his first bite. The dad plowed through the taco savoring every bite.
At another table...
A mom transferred gooey slices of pizza to plates. "Hands off the table dear, until everyone is served." The children squirmed in their seats, anxious to try this new delicacy. Another of her children bounced and reached for the question mark on the top of the box. She gently tapped their hand away and continued to serve. As all good mothers know, you withhold the prize until after dinner, else you'll never get them to eat. Little did she know that this was about to become her children's new favorite meal and the trick wouldn't be getting them to eat, it would be getting them to eat something else.
A third table held a family with several young children. With so many energetic young bodies there was more movement than either mother or father could keep up with. As a result, within three minutes there were half consumed burgers and fries, a pile of wrappers, the contents of a taco dripping down their daughter's shirt, pizza sauce on the chin of one of the boys and all three children were battling each other with miniature snakes, bows, and arrows. One of the children's elbows bumped a drink and everything became a drippy soggy mess. Their teenager had long deserted them and was insisting to her friends that she didn't know those people and someone must be using polyjuice to mimic the appearance of her family members. Despite enjoying the flavors of the foods both parents were determined never to eat at McTacozzia. In the coming weeks, they would discover, to their frustration, that three future snakes could be very conniving and manipulative in achieving their goals. And what kind of Slytherin parents would they be if they didn't encourage the achieving of goals by manipulation? But adult Slytherins were manipulative in their own right and a deal was struck that McTacozzia meals must be eaten with decorum or would not be eaten at all.
Harry looked on at the chaos he had created and grinned. No one, well, no one besides Snape, suspected that he, Harry, was Toby Levi W.D, otherwise known as The Boy Who Lived. He looked towards Snape who was sitting in his usual spot at the high table. Snape gave him a slight nod of approval and Harry's smile grew wider.
"Merlin, I've missed pizza." Harry turned to face Hermione who was preparing to bite into a slice of Hawaiian pizza.
"Is that what this is called?" inquired Ron, who had a bit of everything on his plate. "What about this?" Ron dipped a chip into some orange gooey stuff.
"Nachos," responded Sirius.
"How do you know?" queried Harry.
"A night of frivolity in London, instigated by your father," responded Lupin, "and a story for another time."
Fred lifted the pizza lid and peeled the question mark from the top. "George, look at this." On the back was a miniaturized version of a poster hung on several school walls of Lee Jordan staring dreamily into the eyes of Daphne Greengrass. Below it read:
Lee Jordan
A mage with questionable taste.
Daphne Greengrass
Likewise.
Two opposing sides,
Destined to unite.
"Wicked!" exclaimed both boys. Then they were out of their seats and prowling other tables to share and swap cards.
"Ding, ding, ding, ding," rang a bell charm. Everyone's attention was again drawn to Mr. Wiley on the dais. A wave of a his wand and a menu appeared in each adult and teens hand. "Please touch the arrow triangle at the bottom of your menus." Moments later tables cleared and wrappers and boxes compacted and squeezed into one container in the middle of the hall. Mr. Wiley nearly began saying what he had planned to, that McTacozzia prided itself in their design that made it so all of their packages would be recycled. Luckily, the Felix Felicis stopped him. The purebreds wouldn't understand as many had no clue where trash went as either the house elves dealt with it or they simply vanished the item. The idea of composting the left over food and processing and reusing the packaging would likely confuse them and drive them away from the business. The muggleborns would already be familiar with the arrow triangle symbol and would not need it explained. Instead he said, "We hope you have enjoyed this evening's meal. As previously stated, the cost of this evenings meal has already been covered. Our restaurant is located in a diner truck. You can eat inside it, or take your meal with you. You may also choose to have food delivered to you for an additional gratuity. We have a limited number of food transport boxes available for sale. The transport boxes will save you the gratuity fee and the need to travel to obtain the food. The diner truck will spend its lunch hour either near the ministry or in a different wizarding community during each noon hour and most evenings. See the schedule at the bottom of the menu for location details. On weekends the diner truck will be located at various Quiditch games, music concerts and festivals. This concludes tonight's meal. Please enjoy the rest of the evening as you explore and purchase the students' artwork."
The hall cleared out as teens dragged their parents to the art displays and showed off their creations.
Harry was ridiculously giddy and hyper. He had achieved two goals this evening: freeing his Godfather and Hogwarts Fast Food night, and had started a new business to boot. He bounced from foot to foot and grinned like a maniac as he showed off pieces of his own artwork to his Godfather and rattled on and on about anything and everything. It was his first experience of having an adult publicly focus their attention on him and be sincerely interested in who he was. His relationship with Snape was great, but that was a private thing. Sirius was an adult that would back him up publicly, letting others know that Harry wasn't a lone kid to be picked on anymore. Not that Harry had any desire to turn into Malfoy who looked to his father to fix every little problem in his life, but still, there was power in having an adult that would publicly back you up. Harry hoped that achieving his goals would lead to the privileges he had planned for, but Harry knew life didn't always work out that way so you take what you have while you have it and live in the moment. This was a good moment.
T=The
W=Who
Toby Levi W.D. = The Boy Who Lived