Chapter 32- Detox

Jade tried to mentally tell herself she was not addicted to pain killers and she would not need to go through detox but within hours she was beginning to feel like shit. How could she let herself get like this? How could she let herself become addicted? Did she not see the signs? Jade curled up in a fetal position as she began to feel an onset of chills. She vaguely heard whatever was in front of the bedroom door move and Jax and Kim enter the room.

"Put the trash can by the bed." Kim instructed Jax. Jade heard the thud of a small wastebasket by the side of the bed she was laying on. Jax leaned over and touched her forehead.

"She is starting to sweat." He told Kim, his voice lace with worry.

"That is good Jax. The sooner she detoxes the better."

Jade tried to shut their voices out as she was beginning to get a severe headache.

"Please be quiet." She whispered as her head started to feel like someone took a jackhammer to it.

Jax leaned over and kissed her sweaty forehead. Kim and Jax moved around a little more in the bedroom and whispered to each other different instructions and then quietly left the room. Jade heard the sound of the heavy object moved back in front of the door. A sheet of ice slowly engulfed Jade's whole body as she fell into a fitful sleep.

Jade felt the blows to her face over and over as the dark figure loomed over her. The pain to her face was deafening as she tried to block the large fist as they pound into her face as if she was a old punching bag. As she tried to scream her vocal cords locked and not even a whimper could escape her lips. Jade could not move as her head, arms, and legs felt pinned down to the bed. Jade struggled for air as a heavy pressure slowly sat on her chest. What was happening to her? Where was Jax? As she tried to say his name tears streamed down her face as she struggled to yell his name. Her mind was racing as she tried to plea with the menacing figure to stop hurting her. Please let me go! Please stop! Jesus please make it stop! Please Jesus!

The tractor trailer on her chest eased a little as the punches to her face subsided. Jade used what little breath she could muster to let out a scream. She yelled as loud as she could but the sound seemed so far away. It felt as if she was screaming under water.

Jade's eyes snapped open and she finally was able to move as her stomach clenched with severe pain. Jade silently thank God the sleep paralysis and the memory of Frankie's attack was over. Jade pulled her knees up to her chest, and clutched her stomach as she felt the beginning of intense nausea. She needed to get to the bathroom but her body felt as if the life had been sucked out of it. Her brain slowly processed the memory of Jax placing a trashcan by the bed. A wave of relief washed over her as she leaned over the bed to purge her stomach contents in the trashcan.

Jax instantly jumped up from the couch when he heard Jade's scream all the way from the bedroom. He could hardly sleep and was listening out for any noise that came from their bedroom. In seconds, he was at the bedroom door. He was grateful he didn't have to move the heavy dresser him and Opie had pushed in front of the door as Kim said Jade was at the point where she was too weak to try to get out the bed.

Jax swung the door open, cut on the light and found her leaning over the bed vomiting in the trash can. She was a total mess. The sheets were soaked where she laid and she was shaking. He wanted to grab her up and just hold her until she felt better. He sat next to her, lifted up her hair and rubbed her back as she continued to vomit.

"Is she alright?" Kim asked as her and Opie walked into the bedroom.

"I don't know." Jax said looking up at Kim for answers. Kim crawled on the other side of the bed to feel Jade's forehead with her hand.

"She will be fine. It's good that the detox stages are happening fairly quickly. Addiction is addiction but we should be glad she was not on Oxycontin. She would be in even worse pain than she is now. " Kim crawled out of the bed and felt her baby kick. She held her stomach and Opie asked was she ok.

"I'm fine babe…the baby like all of us want Jade to hurry up and feel better soon."

Jax looked on as Opie kissed Kim's forehead and rubbed her stomach. Jax heart ached as he looked back down at Jade and reminisced of loving moments he shared with her. He missed her so much.

"Jax we will have to change the sheets and give her a shower. I can get the sheets and you can give her a shower if she will let you."

Jax shook his head.

"Kim you and Ope go back to bed. I can take care of it."

"Are you sure Jax?" Kim asked. Jax assured her he could handle it. After Kim and Opie went back to bed in the guest room Jax watched Jade fall into a restless sleep. He wanted to let her rest some more before he disturbed her. He pushed her hair out of her face causing her to frown a little in her sleep. While letting her sleep he went to find her a couple of clean clothes for her. A few hours later Jax tried to wake Jade to take a shower but she was too weak and still in pain so Jax let her rest for another day. Jax did not want to leave her side but Kim told him he needed to rest while she was resting and she an Opie will keep an eye on her. Jax took her up on her offer and finally crashed on the couch and fell asleep.

"Babe…you think you have enough strength to take a shower or a bath?" Jax asked in a whisper as he stroked her back. Jade rolled over and looked at Jax. She noticed how tired he looked as he rubbed his forehead with his free hand. Jade tried to hold back her tears as she looked at him. She hated she was putting her family and friends through this ordeal. She slowly nodded her head yes. She didn't care how bad she felt, she needed a shower and if she didn't take one soon she knew her OCD was going to go into overdrive.

"Ok…I will change the sheets also." He told her as he helped her up from the bed.

"Can you walk?" Jax asked ready to pick her up if he needed to. Jade said she was fine and slowly walked to the bathroom. She found fresh shorts, tank top and underwear on the counter and she wondered if Kim or Jax put that out for her. Jade looked in the mirror and could not believe how bad she had looked in just 48 hours. Her eyes were red, sunken in with heavy bags, her skin did not have the youthful shine it usually had, and her hair was matted on top of her head. She looked like a zombie.

"Are you going to be alright?" Jax asked standing in the doorway.

Jade nodded yes as she began to undress out of her filthy clothes.

"Do you need me to help you….maybe wash your hair?" he asked as he picked up her discarded clothes off the bathroom floor.

"I got it." She told him as she turned on the shower and waited for the water to become warm. Jax stood and watched Jade as she prepared to step into the shower. She looked over at him; he looked like he aged ten years.

"I will be alright Jax….I think the worst has past….well I hope the worst has past." She said as she stepped into the shower. She sighed as the warm water cascaded down her body. It felt so good against her skin. She looked over and could see through the shower sliding door Jax still standing at the door holding her dirty clothes. He had such a look of concern on his face.

She slid open the shower door.

"Jax, I promise I am ok."

Jax finally nodded and walked away to throw her dirty clothes in the washing machine. When Jade got out the shower she found Kim putting new sheets on the bed. Jade dried herself, tied a towel on her head, put on her fresh clothes and brushed her teeth. She walked over to her friend and hugged her as tight as she could without squeezing her baby bump. Tears sprung to Kim's eyes. Jade looked a hundred times better than she did a couple of days ago. Kim knew she was going to beat this addiction…she had too. Jax walked back into the bedroom and found Jade and Kim in an embrace. He sighed with relief as it did look like the worse was over for her physical detox.

"Do you think you can hold anything down?" Kim asked as Jade laid back down in bed. "I can make you some veggie soup."

"That would be fine. I think I can handle that."

Kim went to the kitchen to make some soup.

Jax sat on the edge of the bed as Jade tighten the towel on her head and crawled under the clean covers.

"How are the boys?" Jade asked as she pulled the sheets up to her chin. The ache for her sons outweighed the ache for the pain medicine her body just detoxed from.

"Gemma just called and they are fine. I told her she can bring them back today." Jax told her as he lay down beside her. Jade felt so horrible that her boys had to be removed from her care.

"Is Gemma mad at me?"

"No baby…she's not. She's just worried about you. We all are." Jax said as his fingers gently rubbed her cheek. Jade closed her eyes as she felt Jax lips brush hers.

"Are you going to be ok?" he asked drawing back and looking at her beautiful face.

"I think so….." she replied eyes still closed.

"Baby…look at me." Jax asked his voice barely above a whisper. Jade opened her eyes to find Jax gorgeous blue eyes staring straight at her. Sadness and weary still reflected in his eyes and Jade felt the pain of guilt as she gazed at him.

"I'm proud of you Jade." He told her as her fingers played in his beard. Jade shrugged her shoulders.

"I didn't do anything but detox….the real test will be the next few days." She said deflecting his compliment. Jax leaned over and softly kissed her lips.

"I'm proud of you." He repeated in a soft whisper against her lips. There was a soft knock at the door and Gemma walked in with the boys shortly after Jax said come in. Jade was elated to see her boys. Sitting up in bed, Jade smiled as Abel ran up and jumped on the bed, yelling mommy. Jade could not think of a more wonderful sound as her son calling her name. Gemma smiled as Jade planted kisses all over Abel's lips and cheek.

"How are you feeling?" Gemma asked as she handed Nathan to Jax.

"I'm much better." Jade replied as she sat Abel between her and Jax in the bed and gathered Nathan in her arms.

"You look so much better sweetheart." Gemma pressed her hand against Jade's cheek.

Jade looked up at Gemma and smiled.

"Thanks Gemma."

Jax leaned over, kissed Jade's forehead, and got up from the bed.

"I'll be right back with your soup…ok?"

"Jax, Can you call Neeta and ask her if she can come and twist my hair? I can't muster up the energy." She asked Jax as he headed out the door.

"Sure, no problem."

Gemma and Jax left the room to let Jade spend time with her boys.

The house soon quieted down as Kim, Opie and Gemma left. After Neeta finished Jade's hair she gave her a big hug and told her she was glad to see her feeling better. After Neeta left, the house became eerily quiet. Jax had already put the boys to bed.

Jade found herself wandering into the kitchen as she was extremely thirsty and decided to get some cold water out the fridge. While drinking her water she heard her cell phone vibrate in her purse. Jade rolled her eyes as she could just imagine the missed calls and voicemails on her phone. Digging in her purse, she pulled out her phone and noticed thirty miss calls and several voicemails. She had missed calls from colleagues, her parents, Bobby and of course Marks. Jade sat down at the kitchen table and stared at her phone like it was a foreign object.

"He has been calling a lot." Jax said as he shuffled into the kitchen.

Jade looked up at him as he loomed over her.

"Are you planning on calling him back?" he asked trying to hide the jealousy in his face.

Jade did not answer him, as she did know if she was planning to call Marks back or not.

Jade stood up and threw her phone back in her purse. She will deal with the calls tomorrow.

"Do you mind laying with me Jax?"

Not wanting to press the Marks issue Jax wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Yes I would love to lay with you." Jax pulled Jade to their bedroom and crawled in the bed next to her. He took her in both his arms as she laid her head on his chest. Jax's soothing, rhythmic breaths had Jade asleep in record time. Making sure she was in a deep sleep, Jax slid from under her and pulled out the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled out the ring sizer Gemma had brought over earlier. Slowly and quietly, he sat up in bed and took her left ring finger to find her correct ring size. After a couple of tries he found out her left ring finger was a 6 ½. Jax cracked a smile as he made a mental note in his head. He leaned over and tugged at one of her newly twisted hair and thought about how it was time he made her his wife. He knew he would not find any other woman in this world more right for him than Jade. She took Abel on as her own, she blessed him with another son, she has taken more hits than any woman he has met and yet she was still here by his side. He would be a complete fool if he did not scoop this woman up and marry her. Jax found himself rubbing her long brown legs as he admired her complexion. If anyone would have asked him three or four years ago if he saw himself with a black woman he would have told them no. In his lifestyle and social circle he rarely came across black women and when the rare opportunity presented itself they did not give him the time of day or took him seriously. So he just stuck with what he knew best…white women. All that changed when Jade walked into his life. He and the club put her through so much mentally and physically and she has stayed with him through it all.

Now it was his turn to be there for her as she takes control over her pain medication dependency. Jax knew they would make it through this little hiccup in their lives and come out on top. After all, she was going to be a Teller and the Teller's can take on anything that comes their way.