Chapter 41-New By Laws
"Mine"
Beyonce
I've been watching for the signs
Took a trip to clear my mind
Now I'm even more lost
And you're still so fine, oh my oh my
Been having conversations about breakups and separations
I'm not feeling like myself since the baby
Are we gonna even make it? Oooh
Cause if we are, we're taking this a little too far
If we are, we're taking this a little too far
Baby, if we are, we're taking this a little too far
Me being wherever I'm at, worried about wherever you are
We're taking this a little too far
We're taking this a little too far
We're taking this a little too far
Jade slowly crawled into her child hood bed. She was so tired. She was glad she came home so her mom could help her take care of the boys. After a few hours of sleep, Jade was awoken by voices arguing. After Jade shook away the haze of sleep she recognize Gemma's voice. Jade knew it would only be a matter of time before Gemma came to find her and her grandbabies. It only took 24 hours before she came to her parents house. Jade heard Gemma's footsteps walking to her bedroom and pushed open the door.
"How dare you take my grandbabies!" she huffed.
"I didn't take them away Gemma. We are just a few hours away and I will be back in Charming in a few weeks."
Jade slowly sat up in bed.
"Jade you can't become undone from what happen." Gemma sat on the bed next to Jade.
"Gemma how can you not be affected by what happen to us?"
Gemma looked at Jade and moved closer to her and took her hand.
"Baby I am affected. There is not a day I don't think of it…but I need to be strong for my family. You have to be strong for your family. Look in your boys eyes and you will find the strength."
Jade nodded as she knew what Gemma meant but it was so hard to forget what happen to her. At night when she closed her eyes she saw Galen's face. How could she get that image out of her mind? As if Gemma could read her mind she told Jade to try her best to push what happen out of her head.
"Have you talked to Kim?" Gemma asked.
"No…I don't want to burden Kim with this…especially after just having her baby. I made an appointment with Dr. Melissa Levine in Charming when I get back. Why don't you come with me Gemma."
Gemma shook her no.
"No baby…I don't do shrinks."
"Gemma Melissa is not your average shrink…trust me. Give her a chance. We can go together….please Gemma."
Gemma looked into Jade brown eyes and gave in.
"Ok…just once Jade. As long as you promise to come back to Jax and Charming where you belong."
Jade nodded her head yes. She knew she would be back in Charming near Jax but could she marry him….that was the million dollar question.
I'm staying with you and the boys until you com back to Charming. I can't be away from them."
Jade did not argue, as she knew Gemma needed to be near her grandbabies.
Gemma settled in fine at her parents' house and Jade actually hardly saw her as she was either with the kids or her parents. Selena and Gemma were just like teenage girls always out shopping, gossiping and taking the boys to one place or another. Jax had come up almost every other day to see her and spend time with the boys. As much as Jade loved him she could not bring herself to see Jax just yet. She always heard him in the hallway arguing with her dad, her mom or Gemma as they tried to keep him at bay. She wanted to see him but she just could not bring herself to see him. Jade's body was healing nicely and in no time she was back on her feet.
"Baby where are you going?" Selena asked as Jade picked up her purse and keys to head out the door.
"I'm going to see Errica and have her do something to this head."
Gemma looked up from feeding Nathan.
"You want company baby?"
"No I will be fine." Jade did not wait for a response and headed out the door.
"Jade are you sure honey?" Errica held up the clippers unsure if she should do what Jade was asking. This was so far fetch from anything Jade has asked her to do in the ten or so years she has been doing her hair.
"Yes Errica! Cut it off…...I want it all off." Jade almost snapped at Errica.
"And you are sure you want it colored blonde after the cut?"
Jade shook her head yes trying to hold back the tears. Errica looked at Jade and knew this was an emotional aftermath after what happen to her after her wedding day. In all her years of being a hairstylist this was nothing new to her. Many women after a drama always went and cut all their hair off. It was a mechanism to shed some of the bad experience they went through off of them.
"Ok love…here we go."
Jade closed her eyes as Errica took the clippers and began to shave Jade's long shoulder length hair.
Errica turned Jade around to look in the mirror and Jade smile and again held back fresh tears.
"You look beautiful baby."
Jade looked stunning. Errica cut her hair into a tiny weeny afro (TWA…you naturals out there will know what that means.) and the honey blonde color brought out her dark complexion to look evening more spectacular than it ever was. She was flawless.
"Here put on these hoops. They will accent your gorgeous face." Errica pulled off a beautiful pair of silver hoops off the sale rack and put them in Jade's ears.
"I love you baby girl…you will make it through this. You are one of the toughest women I know."
Jade got up and hugged Errica.
"I love you too."
Jade sat in the car for a few minutes as she stared at Jax bike sitting in her parent's driveway. The tears she held back flooded her face. She loved him so much but she just could not see him now. Every awful she experience was because of Jax and the Sons of Anarchy. How could she go back to that? She missed him. Every fiber in her body missed him. Was she willing to sacrifice her life to be with him? Jade put her head down on the steering wheel and continued to cry. She knew the answer and hated herself for it. After a few moments, she was startled by a knock on the car window. She looked up and saw the love of her life looking at her with love and concern on his face.
"Open the door baby." He told her as his face reflected finally realized her drastic haircut. Jade opened the door and slowly got out and faced Jax. Jax stood looking at her for a few moments as he looked at her haircut and new color. Jax said nothing for a few moments but he did not need to as Jade saw the familiar look of lust in his eyes.
"How could you look even more beautiful Jade?" Jax took his hand, rubbed her new haircut, and slowly rubbed his way down her cheeks to trace her lips. Jade found her mouth opening as Jax fingers found its way into her mouth. Jade closed her eyes as she sucked on his fingers. Jax moaned and quickly removed his fingers and replaced them with his mouth. Jade sighed between their kisses as Jax pushed her up against the car and consume every part of Jade's lips. He missed her and his family. He needed her and his boys back home with him. He was half the man when they were not in his life. Jax leaned his head down and pressed against Jade's.
"Jade when are you coming home?"
Jade looked away.
"Soon." She lied.
Jax knew she was lying and called her on it.
"Don't lie to me Jade. I need you and my sons with me. We are out of guns. The Irish are now working with Marks."
Jade felt nauseas as Jax told her about club business and she shook her head violently as she tried to expel what he told her out of her mind.
"I don't want to hear anything about the club Jax…not now…please.."
Jax grabbed Jade into a hug.
"I'm sorry…..please come home"
Jade looked up at her man and she saw how hurt he looked. She found her fingers playing in his beard as usual. She leaned up and lightly kissed his lips.
"I will be home in a couple of weeks."
Jax stepped back trying to control his anger.
"No Jade…I need you with me. I need you! Don't you understand that? I can't live without you or my boys!" Jax was practically yelling at her. Jade could see the hurt and anger radiating off his body.
"Come home Jade!"
Jade leaned against her car defeated. How could she not go back to him when he was literally standing in front of her with tears in his eyes begging her to come back?
"I will have someone with you and my boys whenever I am not with you. That will be there sole purpose is to make sure you are safe whenever you are not with me. Jade I promise I am getting the club into a legit way of earning. We are almost there."
Jax put his hands on Jade's waist.
"Please marry me. I want you as my wife. Don't let what happen tear us apart. I know we lost a baby but we will have so many more. We will have a house full of children I promise. Let me love you Jade. Let me take care of you. Let me make you happy."
Jade looked into Jax beautiful blue eyes. How can a woman say no to him?
Her uncle pulled her in a tight hug. Jade felt guilty that she did not see her uncle the many times he came to see her. However, his trips were not wasted as he got to spend time with her dad and go fishing and other things they loved doing. Jade knew she was always the topic of conversation as he father expressed how concern Bobby was for her. As each member came up to hug Jade she looked around the club house and as much as she hated everything it stood for it was in a way part of her home. It was part of her man and therefore part of her.
"Can I get you something to drink?" one of her favorite croweater Heather asked.
Jade nodded.
"Dirty martini please lots of olives." Jade saw the look on Jax's face from across the room as he heard her order. She blew him a kiss to let him know she was fine. She really needed a drink and she really did not give a damn what he thought at the moment.
Jade put her son down in his toddler bed and kissed him good night.
"I love you mommy." He told her as he lifted up and gave her a hug goodnight. Jade heart almost burst as she looked at her son who was the spitting image of her father.
"I love you more Abel."
Abel laid back down and Jade hummed a children song to him as he fell asleep.
Jade got up and check on Nathan who was fast asleep and smiled as she looked down at his sleeping face. As Jade walked to the kitchen she saw Jax let himself in. He slowly shut the door and stood and looked at Jade in her fave set of house clothes….black boy shorts and tank top which was a dark green tonight. He threw his keys into the basket on the hall table and looked back up at her. Jade took her man in. He still looked sexy as hell in his cut, Sons t-shirt, baggy blue jeans down to his white tennis shoes. Jade wanted him and she wanted him bad. One thing she knew as a social worker and counselor and what her therapist told her and Gemma was that their rape was not a form of sex but a form of assault. It was possible to have sex with the man she loved again. Jax took off his cut and hung it on the coat hanger. He walked up to Jade. He didn't touch her but stood so close to her that he could smell her sex wanting him.
Jade knew what he wanted and she wanted him just as much.
"I'm damaged Jax." She whispered as he took her in his arms.
"Baby…you are not damaged. You are mine and mine alone. I love you Jade."
Jax kissed Jade softly.
"Even with my short hair?"
"You are my own personal Amber Rose…just a few shades darker."
Jade laughed out loud for the first time in weeks.
"And you are my Wiz Khalifa during their happy days…just a few shades lighter."
Jax lifted her up and took her to their bed to make love to her. Jax took his time and was patient with Jade as he knew the first time after her assault would be hard. She did come and came hard but afterwards she jumped up and went to the bathroom to throw up. Jax did not take it personal, as he knew it was not because of him. He was there for her with wet a washcloth to wash her face. He picked her up, put her in the bed, and held her naked body until she fell into a deep sleep. He kissed her softly all over her face. He loved her so much. God please give him the strength to protect her and his sons he thought as he pulled her closer.