Chapter 6: Inner Conflict

Every day the thought of Candy occupied Neal's mind deeper and deeper. The more he missed her and the more he knew he couldn't live without her. He was excited when Wednesday finally came for him to deliver books to The Ardlay mansion. In addition, today he'd find out if he got the big business project. Excitedly he got up and went to work. In the late morning, he hurriedly went to the Ardlay mansion hoping to see Candy again. However, he noticed that the family was having a garden party.

No Candy today, he sighed.

Meanwhile, Candy was in the party and felt so bored with people around her. She knew today Neal should come to deliver book. Secretly, she sneaked out to look for him.

Neal was busy working when he heard the library door opened. He turned around secretly hoping it's Candy who came to visit him. To his delight, it's indeed her! She's standing glowingly at the doorway. She was magnificent, all dressed up for the party. Her dress was grand, her jewelry was dazzling, she looked terrific like a real princess. He watched her in awe admiring her exquisite figure. At the same time, he was aware of the sharp opposite to the shabby clothes he's wearing. His confidence dwindled by the dismal reality. Instantly he avoided looking into her eyes debating if he's being selfish for trying to make her his thus dragged her from the aristocracy life style she'd been enjoying to a modest life he'd be offering. No, he shouldn't attempt to make her his.

"I didn't know you'd come. I thought you're having a party," Neal said nervously.

"I won't miss the opportunity to bug you," Candy said with her usual smile. The smiled which annoyed him in their own world and encouraged him to bully had a totally opposite effect this time. He saw her walking closer and closer to him. For each step she took, the weaker his resistance became.

He heard the music play from the far. "You missed your party, Candy." He wished she'd leave, fearing he wouldn't be able to resist her.

But Candy didn't leave, she kept walking closer to him. His honey eyes helplessly tried to steal a look at her. At some point, they met, glued together with hers. He stared at her without blinking totally enthralled by her. He knew he's being so selfish to love her but yet he was too defenseless to fight it.

Candy was overly charmed by him too. His rough and manly look with the working clothes was a far cry from his neat suite in their own time. He was very sexy with his tiny unshaved beard. His half opened working clothes displayed partially his amber muscular chest which was very inviting. She felt her chest was about to burst unable to contain all the passion that it held.

She tried with all she might to answer with steady voice, "Perhaps, I want to miss it. Do you still remember how to dance?" She grinned briefly.

"I do," Neal replied shortly without taking his eyes from her.

"So?" she said smiling. Her heart pounded harder and harder.

"Candy, you are Sir William's daughter while look at me...," he said giving his last strand of resistance.

She put her soft hands on his lips and said, "Just dance."

He was about to protest but the soft look in her eyes gently asked him not to, so he swallowed it.

He slowly gave his most gracious bow to her and offered his arms which she had been waiting for. Although his head told him he shouldn't do this, his heart happily enjoyed holding her in his arms. She put her cheek in his half opened working shirt touching his bare chest skin. The warmth of his skin gave a sharp sensation in her belly making her feel weak... she's hopelessly clinging to his hard muscular chest, totally surrendering to his strong arms. She closed her eyes imagining his lips were touching hers. She knew, if only he felt a fraction of the love she's feeling at this moment, it'd make her life worth living.

Candy you push me too far,thought Neal feeling her warm soft cheek brushing against his chest.

He held her hand tighter to release the tension that's building up within him. As he wrestled with whether to kiss her and tell her how much he loved her, his sense of reality was mixed with dread. Even after the music had long stopped, he still didn't release her, he hugged her tightly while continuously fighting the internal turmoil tumultuously. Then he pushed her gently, looked at her tenderly. The moment their eyes met, she felt everything melted into nothing, time stopped. She felt so sure he was going to kiss her. He was there, she could feel from his breath, saw from his eyes, sense from his position, everything was just right. But then just when he was about to bend down and move his face towards her, something crossed his face, was it a thought or a hesitation, then he shifted slightly.

Almost at the same time, someone called her name loudly.

"Candy! Candy! Candy!" It's Terry's voice.

Terry had been noticing Candy wasn't around and got suspicious. He knew today was the day Neal came to the library, right away he went to the library looking for Candy. He saw them from the far witnessing them dancing closely together.

This is the only commoner I know that can dance that well with a perfect bow. I need to act fast and propose to her, thought Terry.

Without wasting anymore time, Terry came and called Candy loudly. Terry's voice jolted Neal back to the reality, he abruptly released her. Her magnificent dress and breathtaking jewelry looked so much more suitable with Terry's grand suite than with his humble clothes. He was relieved he could stop himself from kissing her just now. What was he thinking? All he could offer her was a potential for the future, no matter how bright it was, it was still a castle in the air with no concrete reality. If he missed his target, would she regret to lead a humble life with him?

Terry offered his arms to Candy. "They are looking for you, Candy."

Neal gave his bow and whispered, "It was wonderful, Candy."

Neal saw her walking away with another man. It burnt him alive. He didn't think he could live knowing she's somewhere else in another man's arms. Instantly he thought about the business proposal decision which he'd find out tonight and put every fiber of his dream, hope, and life in it. He's heartbroken seeing her walking away, but also encouraged, from now on, he'd put himself in position to win her. He pledged to strive against the impossible and be a man worthy to love her.

Overcame by disappointment of not getting his kiss, Candy left silently with Terry. She spent the afternoon dancing in Terry's arms while in her mind she was imagining Neal. Terry was nice and handsome but there's something in Neal that made her love him. During the intermission, Candy went out alone to take a deep breadth and sort her mind. She was thinking about Neal's troubled face. She was so sure that he's about to kiss her before cloud of hesitation took over. What bothered him? What was in his mind? What would have happened if Terry hadn't showed up? In the middle of her contemplation, she felt Terry hugged her from behind.

"It's a nice afternoon, Candy," she heard Terry's gentle voice.

He turned her around and put his arms around her. She felt her body stiffened right away. Unlike in the past, she felt the urge to pull herself from him. He noticed. He had her in his arms all trough the afternoon but he was dejected by her eyes. They behaved as though they belonged to someone else. But, he loved her. He believed time would bring her back to be his again.

"We met here the first time ten years ago. Do you remember?" he said as he pulled her closer to him. "At that time I was shy and you came to me giving me a piece of orange that you're eating. Ever since that day, you were always in my mind."

Candy smiled. She knew Terry was this world's Candy's good friend since she was young. He was talking more about the past when they often played together, had fun together, went to a trip together, and more.

Then suddenly he knelt down on one knee asking, "I love you, Candy. We were playing a bride and a groom in the past, now we have grown up would you please marry me?"

After all the sweetness he gave her, she felt bad to reject him. But in her mind, she was thinking about Neal. She hoped it was him who proposed instead. Maybe the Candy in this world was very closed and in love to this Terry. But to her, the Terry she had in mind was different than this one. And recently, it had been Neal who occupied her mind. She didn't want to hurt this sincere man's heart either. If only she could explain to him that this Candy came from the future and not the Candy he had known.

With the gentlest tone Candy said, "I would love to say yes, but I need to ask my father's permission first."

Terry asked, "Candy, do you love me?"

Candy was speechless. She loved her real world Terry, with all her heart. She also loved this Terry, but that was before she found the changed Neal. The new Neal was different and she loved him more than she could love anyone else.

"Terry, I need to think about this," said Candy trying to find an excuse not to answer his question.

Terry took her hand and put a ring in her finger. "I understand. This is a big decision. I'll leave this here until you decide, don't worry, you can always take it off later. I'll ask you again tomorrow, okay? Take this as a friendship ring."

Candy hugged him. He always be so sweet and nice to her.

Terry offered his arm and took her back to the mansion to finish the rest of the afternoon. After the party was offer, he gave her a kiss and left. Candy hurriedly asked her coach to take her to Neal. She'd tell him about Terry's proposal and see how he react to it.

-TO BE CONTINUED-