HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! Oh, what a joyous day it is and one of my most favorite of the year! ALL HAIL THE EASTER BUNNY!
So… It's been a while, a long while. Granted, not as long as the last while, but still a while. The only thing consistent about my writing is its inconsistency. I wish I could blame college, but honestly it's not that hard. I'm just a feet dragger.
I wanted to thank and dedicate this chapter to all of you who are still with me. It's been a long journey, though not done quite yet. I estimate two or three more chapters after this one. I wish I could say that by this time next year the story will have come to an end, but I won't make promises. I will tell you though, that I hope to have another chapter out by the end of summer. I encourage you all to bother me about writing. It's more of a motivator than you know.

Light's POV

I needed to know.

"I need you to kiss me."

I needed to know where to go from this point. To say that there were only two options would be to blind myself to the other possibilities. Yes, I either continued my reign as Kira or I didn't, but it wasn't quite that simple.

Say Kira lives; it's not out of my ability to never be caught. This game L and I play doesn't even have to come to an end. He can chase Kira until he dies. That being said; could I look at him and treat him the same way I do now knowing exactly what is going on? Probably. Could I involve Misa in this again? Considering the road I'm on now as an out of the closet homosexual and the fact that I openly loathe her- probably not. For the time being I'm on my own. The Death Notes are buried in the woods with only a week of insurance. With that in mind, I will have to have someone dig them up in order to continue with the killings. Unless I took my time to throw him off.

Say Kira ceases to be; I could tell him what was what or I could not. I could let him know immediately that I indeed was Kira or I could tell him much later. If I told him, it's likely I'd have to tell him everything; the Death Note, Ryuk, Misa, and everything in between. He would demand every little detail of the story. At which I could give or lie; both would have its merits.

Whichever I decide though, guarantees nothing on L's part. How will he take it should I decide to tell him? Will he keep it to himself or will the knowledge be handed to the discretion of others? Will I be tried for the crimes I'm accused of, or will he personally deal my punishment? Regardless of my decision, would he still care for me?

From the beginning, this had been a game of action and reaction.

That was why I needed him to kiss me. I was hoping that would make the answer obvious or at least give me some insight into what I was willing to lose should it come to that.

Ryuzaki looked up at me and then slowly brought his lips to mine.

With this action, two things became apparent; I felt no guilt about what I had done as Kira, that much was expected. I hadn't done anything wrong, and that's how it would continue. I also knew that I would never find another person who could make me feel this way about a kiss, who could make me feel anything about a kiss. He was going to be it.

While kissing him back, I gently grabbed the collar of his shirt and bade him to rise. He hovered over me as I positioned us toward the center of the bed.

I was suddenly hyperaware of what was going on. I was fully conscious of the slow and sensual way our lips moved against each others'. The silence of the room was palpable. There were no special effects or background music that one would imagine would be present. There was only the faint hum of the air conditioner. I was able to hear the rustle of the sheets against our clothing and the shallow breaths in between the soft clashing of our lips. Knees knocked together and his hair brushed against my eyes. It felt like he was all around me.

I slid my hands down his chest and took fistfuls of his shirt. A brief moment was taken to be offended by the fact that he wasn't wearing a tie.

"Is this what Light-kun needs," he asked quietly.

"Exactly this," I murmured back.

He rolled down next to me and with my hands still in his shirt I pulled myself to him. "I certainly never would have thought of this happening the first time I met you," I told him.

"I had judged the possibility at about six percent," he deadpanned.

I chuckled. "You actually had a percentage?"

"I have one for many things. It makes prioritizing preparation for any outcome easier."

"What are the chances of Sayu bursting in here right now with a party hat and noise makers?"

"Higher than what allows me to feel safe," he answered blankly.

I looked at him quizzically before busting out laughing. "There's no way that could actually happen! For what reason could there even be a percentage for that situation?"

"For the same reason you chose that over any other possible outcome. There is a reason it had primacy in your mind."

I rolled my eyes at his claim. Sayu had a tendency to appear where she wasn't wanted, but there was no way she'd get by security. "There's no chance," I assured him.

"If you say so, Light-kun."

I shuffled closer to him and kissed the hollow of his throat. "I do say so."

Coming back up to face him, he captured my lips again.

"And what Light-kun says, goes," he mocked.

I bit his lower lip in confirmation. He kissed me harder, but I couldn't let him win. I was going to come out on top.

I knocked my hips into his. As expected, he did the same, but harder. That was all the invitation I needed to roll on top of him. As I took control of the kiss again I began to gently rock my hips. Let's see what you do about this. I smirked against his lips.

In hindsight, I should have known he wouldn't take anything lying down; metaphorically and literally. He bucked his hips aggressively. It was enough to take me by surprise and allow him to flip our positions. Unfortunately the gasp this elicited from me only encouraged him.

"I've changed my mind," he informed me. "What I say goes." With his thighs firmly planted on either side of mine, I wasn't going anywhere. He slowly unbuttoned my shirt and loosened my tie. "This picture reminds me of a night not too long ago," he mused.

I threw my head back into the pillow. "Don't remind me." And then I added, "You're positive the door is locked?"

He slid the tie over my head and tossed it behind him. "Unmistakably," he deadpanned. Moving the hair from my face he seemed to gaze into my eyes. "Your eyes are different," he finally said.

Just great… "How so?" How is it that you always manage to tell whether I'm with the Death Note or not?

"They lack a particular brightness and seem more… knowing, aware." He put his hand on my cheek. "I can't tell why."

"I'm not the same person I was yesterday," I told him honestly.

He paused for a moment as if to mull my statement over. "I don't think anyone is."

It surprised me a little to hear. I obviously meant it in a way he couldn't understand, but in a way I think he was right too. I slowly reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, then just as slowly brought him back down to kiss me. That too may have started off slow, but began to pick up pace.

My hands drifted up his shirt and I rubbed them over his chest. I could faintly feel his heart beat beneath them. I wrapped one arm around his neck and kept one hand over his heart. It was such a hypocritical thing to do. How could I have gone from wanting this beating's death to being comforted by its life?

He laid himself upon me and shifted all of his weight onto his forearms.

Just like that I was introspecting again. I could feel his hair brushing lightly against my face and his body pressing into mine. Heat was radiating off of his frame; enough so that I was warmed by it. Most of all though, he was close enough so that I could feel his heart beat through my hand and against my own chest. This time he really was all around me.

Tonight I only want to appreciate him as my equal. Tonight, I am not Kira.

I held him to me as hard as I could and crushed my lips to his.

He reacted with just as much fervor. "Light-kun…" he groaned.

"What is it," I asked, pushing my hips into his.

"Though I can't say that this isn't expected on your part…"

I bit his lower lip. "Oh, shut up."

He gasped slightly. "What are you expecting out of tonight," he whispered in my ear.

I bumped my lower half into him again. "I'm not expecting anything."

He grabbed my hip and kneaded his thumb against the inside while kissing along my jaw line.

I moaned. "Especially for that to feel so good." Or any of this to feel as good as it did. I had always heard that the right person could make anything feel good. Being somewhat of a cynic, those kinds of thoughts always made me roll my eyes.

"I'd read that it would," Ryuzaki explained. "I know many things in theory. Maybe it is time to see whether the practice is on par."

I kissed the side of his mouth. "Be my guest." I brought the hand not occupying his heart to the front of his shirt and began to undo the buttons.

He lifted himself and grabbed my thighs roughly to wrap them around his waist.

I had just finished the buttons on his shirt when he went for the one on my pants. He must have been hit by the initiative stick because after pulling down the zipper, he wasted no time in hooking his fingers inside and pulling them down my body. They too were tossed behind him to the floor.

"Someone knows what he wants," I quipped.

"Am I not doing it right," he asked seriously.

I began to shimmy the shirt over his shoulders. "Depends on what you're trying to do."

"Remove our clothing so that I may feel your skin against mine," he deadpanned.

It was almost funny how he could say things like that with not only a straight face, but like they were a casual occurrence. He was a very point A to point B kind of person. In a way, it seemed as though he would apply logic to the emotions he felt. I only hoped he wasn't trying to give reason or rationalize his feelings or behavior toward me. If there was one way to find out though, it would be to completely disrupt his mental faculties. I fought a smile as I realized that we were already on the path to testing my hypothesis. I was determined to make him feel human.

"Then you're definitely on the right track."

He knelt down again and nipped lightly at my ear. He took my gasp as a good sign and lightly dragged his tongue up the length of it. That gasp quickly turned into a moan.

"Ohh, Ryuzaki…"

"If you moan anything, Light-kun, it will 'L'," he dictated.

This took me by surprise. I didn't expect him to get off on this kind of power trip. Why I didn't think of it, I'll never know.

I brought my lips to his ear. "Take your fucking pants off, L," I growled.

He lifted himself to a sitting position on my lap and ever so tantalizingly slow he brought down his zipper. The sound of the teeth separating sent a shiver down my spine.

Yet another piece of clothing was tossed onto the expanding pile on the floor. I had only a moment to appreciate its aesthetic before I was pushed back onto the bed.

My fingers immediately tangled into his wild hair and our lips crashed together once more. Chest to chest, I could feel his heart racing. It would have been such a shame to stop it.

His fingers kneaded my hips and he placed hasty kisses over my collar bone. "Am I doing this correctly?"

I moaned as he nipped at my neck. "What do you think?" He was doing it so right that I briefly suspected that this whole Kira business was prank. It was hard to not immediately come to my senses though. That was impossible, but I was impressed that he could cause me to think so irrationally, even for a moment.

He slid his hands under me to palm my ass. "Is there anything else I could be doing," he asked, mid squeeze.

"Spank me and call me god," I drawled sarcastically, adding in an eye roll for good measure. Honestly, there was nothing else that he needed to be doing.

Unfortunately it seemed as if he hadn't gotten my sarcasm nor seen my eye roll for he froze at my neck and slowly lifted his gaze to mine. "You would like me to do what," he finally asked.

I, too, was still. Maybe that was more tasteless than I had originally thought. I didn't think he'd take it so seriously.

"Why did you say that, Light-kun," he asked monotonously.

My arousal was quickly dying as I took in his serious expression. "It was just a joke," I replied. "I was being sarcastic."

He eased himself off of me. "Were you really? You said it only after I told you to call me L. Is this just another way for Kira to best L?"

I pushed him away from me. "Of course not! It's just you and me! It was a joke," I fumed. I thought we were getting somewhere. I thought he was finally letting it go; even if only for tonight. For the first time, I acted independently of Kira and he still finds a way to bring it all right back.

He subconsciously brought his knees to his chest. "Then why say something like that unless being recognized as Kira gets you off?"

"Because it was a joke! I didn't mean anything by it," I yelled, sliding off the bed. "You always have to use Kira to explain my actions. For once can you just let the curtains be blue without having to find some deeper meaning? I can't even sit down for breakfast without you deducing that I'm trying to kill criminals with my cereal!" Without realizing it, I was moving around the bed and scooping up my clothes. I need to get out of here. It's not even that he's accusing me of being Kira yet again, but more the possibility that he's right. I don't know why I said it; I thought it was a joke. This of all things cannot be about power. That's not what Kira was supposed to be. Kira was about justice and picking up what the court system left behind. It was about making the world a better and safer place.

I pulled my pants up to my waist and zipped them.

"What are you doing, Light-kun?"

"I'm leaving. I just need some space," I replied, hastily buttoning up my shirt and not even bothering to look for my tie. I can't think in here.

He took a step toward me. "Where are you going? You can't leave the building."

I knelt down to retrieve my shoes. "I don't care." Anywhere you're not standing over me.

For every step he came closer, I backed one away. I was only feet from the door and I was tying my shoes as fast as I could manage. So stupid! Stop… fucking shaking! What is wrong with me?! I was fumbling with the laces on my last shoe- something I never did- so why now when I needed to get the hell out?

When I finally deemed my shoes to be adequately tied, I stood up and all but lunged for the door handle.

"Light-kun," Ryuzaki started.

I paused, but did not acknowledge him.

"Your buttons are not even."

I wrenched open the door, made my exit, and slammed it shut. How on earth did he think a bullshit statement like that would make me stay?

I started to head for the elevator, but stopped short when I realized that he could just shut it down with me still inside of it. I turned to go the opposite direction in favor of taking the stairs. Wasting no time, I hurried my way back passed the room, not slowing down again until I was more than halfway to the ground level.

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to find some semblance of tidiness. This is just ridiculous. Kira had no place in that room; nothing to do with what was happening. I stopped on the platform to the second floor, leaning against the doorway. But I am Kira, and if he doesn't have a place, then neither do I. I tapped my head on the door. Why did I try to make this work? Kira and L can't exist cohesively. I can't have a relationship with him and then continue to do what I do. This is an all or nothing deal.

I slowly stepped forward and onto the next set of stairs. For a few moments I just listened to myself breathe. Only a few minutes ago I was thinking of what a shame it would be for his breath to stop. How hypocritical can I be? I can't have it both ways, I thought, opening the door to the lobby.

There it was; the door to the outside- freedom. This would be the first time in months I'd be outside on my own, without anyone monitoring me. I know full well that I'm forbidden from exiting this building, but honestly, with all things considered, it won't last long anyway. I'm happy enough to just get five minutes alone. When I'm blissfully alone- that's when I'll decide what my next step will be.

Taking a deep breath of anticipation, I pushed on the door. I was met with that initial gust of wind and felt immediate relief. I should have made a jail break long ago. "This was just what I needed," I said aloud.

A sudden gasp from behind me took me by surprise. I didn't expect anyone to be out at this time of night. The quick footsteps that followed made me turn to whoever elicited the noise. I was only halfway turned when I saw something gleam out of the corner of my eye. This sight was followed by a splitting pain to the back of my skull. My consciousness was quick to flee.

And people wonder why we need Kira.

And there you have it folks. Another chapter come and gone.
Regrettably, the 'spank me and call me god' line was not my own. It came from the video "Stereotypical Yaoi" by XxWeirdWorldxX on YouTube. That video was a great inspiration for this chapter and I highly recommend that you go watch it.