Author`s Note: So this and the next chapter were originally one, but it just didn't work so now it's two chapters. Had fun writing this, although you'll see the writer of the letter is a little OCC, but I like to think he was a little fatherly towards both Cullen and Amell.

REVELATIONS

Cullen was furiously raking his mind for clues—any memory that may point him in the right direction. He had managed to find the Apprentice Corridor, which wasn't too hard considering it was the first floor of Kinloch Hold. Where he needed to be was the central library, but the novice templar—shy of six months since officially graduating into the Order—was very lost. He had drawn himself a poorly sketched out map during his first tour of the tower, but was proving to be hardly effective now. Cullen scratched his head and tried to remember the floor he needed to be on.

"Oh—Good morning Ser Cullen." The templar tried his best to hide his hand drawn map behind his back, half expecting it to be a fellow templar or initiate. Instead he found himself in the always welcomed presence of an apprentice: Astrid Amell.

They had been introduced upon his arrival to Kinloch Hold, her as both his guide and ward. The Knight-Commander praised her to be a 'model apprentice', which Cullen quickly came to understand himself. Astrid Amell was outcasted by her fellow mages for her unique understanding and loyalty to the templars. He understood she had been placed in the circle's care at birth, raised by the senior enchanters, and had but only one true friend. The templar learned they were of the same age and equally shy in the company of others, making their relationship as two young people in a strange and dangerous world strong from the beginning.

Astrid had striking red hair, dark, and loosely braided over her shoulder. Her skin was pale and radiant, contrasting with her dark eyes. It was momentarily distracting. She smiled sweetly and shyly at her warden, which flustered Cullen into making a better effort to hide his map. "Ah, M-miss Amell—" he stuttered, "It is good to see you—uh, it is a good morning."

"You may call me Astrid if you like Ser Cullen," she said, hugging a collection of books and tomes to her chest. "We will be acquainted for years to come..." Astrid was whispering, "friends do not need such formalities."

The apprentice sent Cullen's heart racing, and his face colored as hers did. "I-I don't think it very ap-appropriate for a templar to, uh, address a m-mage by her first name—" he nervously stammered, trying to refrain from hurting her feelings, but Astrid remained smiling through the rest of his spectacle. "Miss Amell is-is better suited for our relationship..." he saw it then, the dejection as her smile faltered for only a moment.

"Of course," she sadly agreed, all too familiar to the sentiment.

Cullen felt guilty. "Perhaps you-you could help me find my way?" he inquired with a sheepish grin.

"Are you lost?" Astrid responded, eyes wide.

"L-lost? Oh no, you are c-carrying a lot of books," he tried his best to lie, "If we are, uhm, going the s-same way—I could carry them for you!" Cullen blurted the last part, catching them both by surprise.

"Oh," she blushed, "I don't want to distract you from your duties—"

"Oh, you're not distracting."

Cullen and Astrid stilled, looking at one another.

"I mean, you are..." he tried to cover, waving his hands, "but...well you're not. I mean..." The apprentice's face was blushed, but she smiled brightly at him too and it instantly calmed Cullen's nerves. He had never spoke so clearly until he said, "You can talk to me anytime if you want."

After that he could only ever speak clearly with her, no babbling or stuttering like a fool...

The Knight-Captain sighed, he hadn't had that dream in a long time, and it had been some weeks since he last spoke to her—or rather argued with her. He often wondered if she was still in the city and where exactly, although it didn't bother him as much until he started thinking who she might be with. Cullen knew better than to think Astrid was promiscuous, but after learning a mage was hiding within the workers at the brothel, the templar couldn't help but assume she might be doing the same. The truth was that the woman he once knew was not the Astrid Amell in Kirkwall. The Astrid he knew was loyal to the templars and never had intentions of leaving the circle. So what happened?

He pondered that question for the rest of the day, distracting him from patrol at the Gallows that eventually lead him in the direction of Viscount's Keep. Cullen was so involved in remembering his former life in Ferelden, he was completely oblivious to Ser Ruvena hastily approaching him. "Knight-Captain!" she called, stirring the distracted templar from his thoughts.

"Yes?" he answered, half aware of her presence. Ser Ruvena noticed her captain's distraction and waited for him to turn towards her. "Yes, what is it?" he repeated.

"You told me to immediately alert you if you were to receive a letter from your former circle Ser," she answered.

Cullen tried to mask the anticipation on his face, "Thank you, Ruvena. Carry on." He sent her away and watched as she disappeared.

Waiting back at the Gallows was a letter he had long waited for since Astrid had let slip her part in his relocation. I would have never had you sent away if I had known. He could still feel the venom in her words—the pain. Cullen stood, waiting on himself. Did he want to know the truth?

The Astrid he knew had always favored the templar presence in Kinloch Hold, was happy in the tower. However, the same woman had been dragged away by blood mages, demons, and templars—the very templars she entrusted with her loyalty now puppets to their dark magic. They tortured and took her, eradicating her faith in the Order and her own class. She was destroyed, and there was nothing Cullen could do, but even then, Astrid remained devoted to staying in the circle. So it mystified the templar that she was roaming free now, an apostate for years it would seem. Knight-Captain Cullen inhaled and braved the inevitable letter, leaving the courtyard that lead to the grand steps up to the Vicount's Keep and quickly leaving for his office back in the Gallows.

The letter was on his desk when he returned, the red wax seal of Kinloch Hold still fresh and embossed. It smelled faintly of Ferelden, wet and woodsy. Knight-Captain Cullen sat at his chair and stared at it for a long time, going over the potential scenarios in his head. Then after a long hesitation, he broke the seal and read Greagoir's letter with keen interest to what he would discover.

I have long wondered when I might hear from you, and of this exact thing you ask of me. Allow me to be frank then in saying Miss Amell was the one who came to me about your relocation to Kirkwall. She was rather adamant about my intentions and what your decision was, and I felt obliged to tell her, for you were her guard. I told her you had wished to stay, but Miss Amell argued against it. She worried the ordeal you had suffered could not heal if you stayed and that your talents as a templar of The Order, as both I and your Knight-Commander have recognized, would go to waste in such a small circle as Kinloch Hold. I fear Amell was rather attached to you Cullen. She didn't ask me out of fear, for she had every reason to after her own terrible ordeal, but with complete admiration for your character. She only feared and worried on your account. I admit, these strong feelings of hers is what ultimately convinced me. I sometimes wonder if it was not out of love she begged me to send you to where you are now, but alas I will never know. Miss Amell is no longer with us.

The gut-wrenching letter continued, at last solving the mystery of Astrid's status as an apostate.

I'm afraid to inform you that as of four years ago, Astrid Amell escaped the circle. At the time, both the First Enchanter and I were called away on important business and the circle was left in the charge of one Ser Royce. Since your leaving, Amell had risen to an enchanter. She was beloved by many of her students and was understandably protective of them in return. It is my understanding she was suspicious of Ser Royce from the beginning, suspicions later to be true. While Irving and I were away for sometime, Ser Royce was taking advantage of the young women in the circle and it was Amell who rose to action. I learned from one of Miss Amell's students that Ser Royce attempted to force himself upon her and in return, Amell used her magic on him, severely burning his face. Naturally a violent act would result in severe punishment, but under the circumstances, had I been there, I would have happily saluted the Enchanter's work.

Unfortunately I was not. And with Ser Royce in charge, the templars were ordered to capture her and prepare her for the Rite of Tranquility. It must have been a terrible feeling, our model mage betrayed by the very templars she trusted so much. As I've already said though, she escaped. And not of her own doing. She was aided by Ser Mathias. A friend of yours I believe? And from what I am told, he had to drag her out of the circle and literally push her into the lake to ensure her escape. As it would be, Amell was not the only one privy to Ser Royce's slimy character. The templars who sided with Amell and Ser Mathias, imprisoned Ser Royce until I returned and was told what I've now told you. Ser Royce was dishonorably removed as a templar, and sadly, Ser Mathias has left The Order as well, blaming his bad leg.

I do not know what more I could tell you. Miss Amell's whereabouts are unknown and her phylactery missing from Denerim. Wherever she might be, I hope it far happier than the last few years spent in Kinloch Hold. Although I do not condone her escape, I cannot blame her. The last time I spoke with Miss Amell was to inform her of your promotion to Knight-Captain, which brought a smile to her face. The first and last I believe since the attack on her. I've known Miss Amell since she was just a babe, and never expected this would be her future when she was first brought to us.

I hope I have answered any questions you might of had, your letter merely inquired about the decision to send you away, but because of the friendship you had with Amell, I thought you ought to know. I hope your luck continues in Kirkwall.

Knight-Commander Greagoir

Cullen sank back into his seat and buried his face into the palm of his hands. How could he ever believe Astrid would leave with such malicious intent? How could he call her uncivil and a whore? He knew her, but he barely knew himself anymore. The Knight-Captain read through the letter several times again, distraught over and over. She knew Greagoir was growing wary of their close relationship—she knew far worst could happen if they were discovered. So she sent him away. To protect him. That was Astrid Amell, always saving him.