A/N: I CAN FEEL THE LOOOOOVE (TONIGHT). Thank you for all your awesome feedback. Some of you thought the story was over. OF COURSE NOT.

Also, no, I did not forget about the pizza. A lot of you didn't either, but you read something that wasn't there. I never actually made Sakura put the pizza in.

. . .

Wasted – Chapter 14

Wrong

. . .

I'm in trouble.

Like, shit-up-to-my-ears, almost-homeless, I-might-even-maybe-get-arrested trouble.

It's hilarious.

See, Temari didn't find it very entertaining to be woken up at eleven-thirty on a Sunday night by our smoke detector, who I might add overreacted to the miniature smoke cloud that was barely seeping from our oven. Or, as she put it, the volcanic ash cloud that erupted from the oven and nearly choked us all to death. But I think she's being a bit dramatic.

Even more so when she falsely accused Sasuke. I told her I was the one who turned on the oven and forgot about it, to which she responded that it was still Sasuke's fault because she apparently didn't get the memo that I'm no longer having sex with him and thus, he's no longer a distraction for me. She wouldn't have any of it, however, and demanded he be kicked out within the next twenty-four hours.

I didn't bother explaining his tragic story to her, because I suspected she would only see it as trying to make him look pitiful. She added that if it happened again or if he came back, she would have to tell our landlord. The "have to" indicated that she didn't really want to, which reassured me a little because it probably meant I'd have a margin of misconduct before she actually turned her threats into punishment, but our landlord is a really strict man who doesn't like fires and really doesn't like freeloaders. Sunday night, after I pleaded guilty, he said this would be the only time he'd let me off the hook for something like that. I had to pretend Sasuke was my boyfriend visiting, which amused my freeloader way too much and confused Temari even more, and the landlord forbid overnight visitors from today onwards.

So, I kicked Sasuke out.

Then I snuck him back in through my window after the landlord and the firemen were gone.

There is no way I'm letting him live on the street. He's already stayed at Naruto's, I'm pretty sure neither Ino nor Hinata can take him in and I couldn't possibly ask Sai – or trust Sasuke around him twenty-four-seven. Temari always follows this strict schedule and our other two roommates are never here, so I don't think letting him live here will be that difficult. Hopefully, he'll make amends with his parents soon; at worst, we only have a month and a half of school left. I'll just have to be careful with the amount of food he takes and the times he does his laundry. There. Easy as me.

On another subject, I didn't go to the audiovisual department quickly enough and now, all the editing rooms are booked for the next month. Ino and I planned to be done with editing by mid-April so we could focus on our finals while everyone else struggled to put their projects together and this is too big a set-back. Unless someone ends up not needing as much time in editing and letting us use his room, we have no way of getting it done in the next two weeks. Ino is properly freaking out and it's getting funnier every time I see her.

Actually, everything seems funnier, now. Because, as my last piece of news, I'm very pleased to announce that I've figured out how to not mind Sai's... shortcomings. It took a few days, but it fell on me like a miracle llama driving a car off a cliff. I was doing homework in the art class, earlier today, and Gaara handed me a blunt, saying I could finish it because he and Matsuri would be gone a while. I snuffed it out and kept it for after I was done with my homework, but later, when they came back, both seemed very pleased with themselves. When I asked her, Matsuri told me about the positive effects of weed on sex.

So, when I went home with Sai, the joint secure in my pocket, I decided to try it out. We both drew a few swigs from it in his bathroom before taking a shower together and after a few minutes of waiting for the effects to kick in, I immediately regretted not knowing about it sooner. It was like every touch, every graze of his fingers against my skin, every kiss was amplified. I was warm and I still had goosebumps.

I think we left the shower on, because I could hear it running still after we were done. Sai was still awfully slow, but since he spent a good five minutes (which, honestly, could've been two hours, but the weed made me completely lose track of time) performing foreplay on my lower half because he was too high to realise he'd been doing it for so long, everything felt better than usual. I was able to forget how bad he is at it, which, compared to our first few times together, was an achievement.

The only thing is, now I have to take a hit every time we have sex. And recently, he's really been into morning sex and afternoon delights, sooo...

There are only very few, very short periods of time when I actually feel my teeth. Clouds and the movement of my fingers have become very interesting. My essays are mind-blowing. The ground is rarely steady, but it's getting there. Lights are bright, darks are, well, dark and everything, and I mean everything is hilarious.

Sasuke's hair is hilarious. Sai's art is hilarious. The movies in class are hilarious. Ino's concerned looks are hilarious. The warm pizza that stayed on the counter for a whole week after the oven incident is hilarious. And the permanent Ziploc bag of weed in my school bag is–wait for it... fucking hilarious.

So, yeah. I'm in trouble and it makes me giggle.

. . .

"Morning, babe."

Sai draws little circles with his fingers on my stomach to wake me up, and when he sees my eyes are open and turned to him, he lets his hand travel south. Before he can reach anything important, I turn to my edge of the bed to retrieve a blunt from yesterday night, but he pulls me back to him and his hand resumes its trek over my body.

"Not this morning," he says. "I want all of you to be here."

Goddamnit.

His hands on me feel good, but I know what's coming and I know I'll have to take care of myself later. He's gotten better at foreplay, I'll give him that, but there has been no change in the actual execution of the deed. My buzz from last night is still making my brain a little fuzzy, but I know it won't be enough to distract me from the unavoidable disappointment. I sigh when it feels good, but nothing beyond that, and it's not because I don't want to make more noise; he just can't bring me to do it.

He eventually enters me and flops around over me, making his little squealing noises, and I try my best to let out a few moans to keep the illusion up. I feel bad about the make-believe, but I don't want him to get frustrated with himself or sad or embarrassed. I do care about him a lot and I'm trying my hardest to not let his poor sex skills be a deal-breaker. He's so sweet and fun and charming, I don't want him to think less of himself because I'm not satisfied in bed. If I had to choose between him and Sasuke, which I don't have to but kind of did at some point, I'd definitely choose him.

He cares about me and doesn't take me for granted; he works for what he wants and isn't one to spend large sums on things he doesn't need; he has a calm temper, which goes very well with my permanent mood swings; and finally, he has a goal in life. I think. Well, he's not all lost and searching for himself like Sasuke. There's just so much more about him than good looks.

Sai makes this big, high-pitched noise and then I know it's over. I wait for him to roll off me, then climb out of bed and get ready to go home. Usually, on a Saturday like this, I'd spend the day with him either at school, out on a date or inside having a cuddle (because he's really good at cuddling), but I've been falling behind on homework and I really need a day off from the weed. After two weeks of almost non-stop smoking, I could really do with some fresh air and not constantly feeling like I'm in a really weird dream.

I kiss him goodbye and leave. I always sneak out to go home every once in a while to check on Sasuke. Upon asking her, Hinata confirmed to me that he's still attending all the classes they have in common, albeit that he missed one or two days of school a while ago, which I assume were around the time he got into a fight with his father, and she promised to keep an eye on him for me. I still have to go home, for appearances' sake, because Temari might eventually get suspicious if food keeps disappearing from the kitchen and I'm never there to eat it. Besides, Sasuke's pretty much all alone in the world and he's hiding out in my room; I can grant him my company from time to time.

On the good side of things, I've managed to sneak a futon into my room for him to sleep on. It's old and crummy and I sometimes get home to find him sleeping on my bed, but when I do spend the night at my apartment, he sleeps on his futon and he doesn't complain. He even invites me to sleep with him from time to time. Which I refuse, of course, but it feels good to hear him say it, because it's pretty much the only normal, familiar thing in my life anymore. I barely have any floor space left, but it's better than sleeping in the same bed. I'd feel too guilty.

The weather is getting warmer and leaves are burgeoning on the trees, which gives the outside this considerably happier colour scheme compared to two weeks ago. April is a lot less rainy than March and today is especially sunny and bright. The light hurts my eyes and fries my brain and I find myself cringing. I usually welcome the new heat, but my state of hot-and-bothered-ness makes it unbearable. I get home soaked in sweat, half-walking, half-crawling to the shower.

My roommates aren't home, which is good, because I can just strip on my way to the bathroom, letting everything drop to the ground like a Hansel and Gretel track to follow. I turn on the water, make it as lukewarm as possible, yank off my underwear and jump in. The stream feels like silk against my hot skin and for a while, I just stand still, letting the water pour on my head and down my body. I shut out any noise from outside and focus on my breathing. It feels good, like I'm re-centering myself.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inha–GAH.

"The fuck are you doing!?"

"I need a shower."

"Oh my God, get out!"

I don't know if he sensed that I wasn't paying attention or if he just decided to enter the shower regardless of who's in it, but Sasuke really seems to have forgotten decent manners and common sense in the process of being kicked out. Unless that's how he was at home. I hope not. But now, he's in the shower, half-asleep, naked and squirting my bottled body soap into his hand. And naked.

Okay, I'll admit that a naked Sasuke lathering himself up in my soap is kind of hot. But it's also inappropriate! I have a boyfriend, whom I'm fairly sure I lo– like very much and I have a history of being cheated on and I have morals and I have the biggest girl-boner right now OH MY GOD, SAKURA, SHUT UP. Okay, focus. Just pretend he's not here. He's half-asleep anyway, he won't do anything.

I turn my back to him and pick up my shampoo bottle, careful not to bend over too low. I squish some in my hand and apply it to my hair. I feel Sasuke grab my hips, and just as I'm about to yell at him, he makes us exchange spots and bends his head under the faucet. I stand in my new corner of the shower, stunned. It's not that he wasn't coming on to me that I mind, but that I expected him to. That I'm disappointed he didn't.

Maybe I just want a good reason to yell at him. Yeah, that's definitely it. That or I'm just really used to telling him to back off.

I rub the shampoo into my scalp, still facing Sasuke's back. In all the time I've ever spent seeing him naked, I never really focussed on his back. I did in my dreams, but I can never be sure how reliable they are, precisely because I haven't paid much attention to it in real life. His skin is pale, but not as much as Sai's, and he actually has one beauty spot on his shoulder, a little towards the back, near his neck. He's much more muscular than Sai, but I guess that's inevitable with a father in the police force. Besides, art students aren't renowned for being physically active.

Sasuke's muscles ripple under his skin as he rinses off the soap on his body. His hands run up to his neck and across his shoulders and I find myself wishing he'd put them on me. It's a bad thought to have and I'm ashamed of it, but there's no way around it. I know what these hands can do and I want them on my skin. I want my own hands on his back, feeling his muscles, his shoulders, his arms, his chest and oh my God, my hand is moving on its own.

Before I can stop myself, my fingers are grazing his skin and my hand is flattening itself against his back. Sasuke jerks under my touch. Every single cell in my body is frozen except for my arm, which is dragging my hand down his spine. He turns around to face me, a puzzled expression on his face, and I know I have the same on mine, because his brows furrow in confusion. My arm is still extended towards him and I can't seem to get myself to move. I feel my eyes grow wide and my cheeks flush, but still no reaction in my arm.

Sasuke slowly pushes my hand aside and steps close–too close–to tower over me. All his movements are slow and deliberate, as if he's checking where my limit is, as if he's being careful not to scare me away. He raises his hands to my neck, cups my face just below the ears, his thumbs softly wiping water from my cheeks and then he leans down and presses his lips to mine.

He's never kissed me like this. His lips barely move, just enough to make it a proper kiss. My eyelids fall closed and there's suddenly nothing I can do to refrain from responding. There's something incredibly sweet and chaste about this kiss, like a first kiss, like the way little kids kiss each other. Warmth spreads through me and I think–

I think... I'm seeing fireworks.

I've never seen fireworks before. Not with Idate. Not with Sai.

Oh my God, Sai.

I rip myself away from Sasuke's embrace, shove him away from me, and my back hits the wall behind me. The cold tiles make me snap back to reality and I suddenly feel disgusted with myself. Sasuke's eyes roam my body and I feel the urge to cover myself, but I know that would be futile, given that he's already seen me naked dozens of times. Besides, he doesn't appear aroused. I don't even need to look at his junk to verify it; his face is plenty indication that he won't be making any other moves on me. He seems resigned, almost regretful. Pitiful.

But he can't stay in the shower with me. I can't let him this close again. I was worried that just going home to him might be seen as cheating, but now I've actually, blatantly cheated. It's not like I wasn't into it and it's not like I don't want it to happen again, and that's precisely why I can never let my guard down like this again.

"Get out." My voice shakes, but I'm able to make it sound convincing.

Sasuke doesn't say anything. He wipes a hand over his face and smoothes his wet hair back, gives a sigh and climbs out without another look at me. I wait until I hear the door click open and closed to resume my shower. The kiss didn't help the pool of warmth between my legs, although Sasuke's softness made me sort of forget about it for a few seconds, but now it's worse than ever. I finish rinsing my hair and soaping myself down, then I climb out and towel myself dry.

I wipe a circle on the foggy mirror and take in the sight of my reflection. My cheeks are still flushed, but the dark circles and the deadness of my eyes eclipse my blush. I almost scare myself and I can kind of guess why Sasuke felt he needed to be soft with me. I look like I could break into a million pieces at the slightest shock.

I feel strong. Way stronger now that I'm sober, in fact, and I know for certain that I could go for a wild run under the sheets. But I need to forget about that. I can't let myself be tempted by Sasuke any further. I can't have sex with anyone other than Sai and especially not with Sasuke.

Even though I really want to.

I should just go about my day. I have homework and studying to do, I need to clean my room and I'm starving. I'll just keep myself busy and my mind off of Sasuke. Get out, get dressed, get to business, keep Sasuke away. Piece of cake.

. . .

Turns out Sasuke didn't even try. He kept his distance all day, doing his own homework or reading one of my books. It weirded me out too much, so I stepped out and went to the school library. I think the only thing worse than Sasuke being suggestive is Sasuke being indifferent. Maybe his kiss in the shower was the last shred of his desire for me making a final appearance. Maybe it was the last intentional physical contact I'll ever have with him.

Does that mean he's stopped being attracted to me? Am I no longer something he wants? I mean, I know I pushed him away, but does it have to be such an abrupt, clean break? I knew he wasn't feeling all that spectacular with everything that happened with his family, but it's like he's lost a vital part of himself in this whole ordeal. It's not like him to give up easily.

You know, sometimes it worries me how much time I spent thinking about my love life when there are so many more important things to discuss in the world. I'm a Film student, for fuck's sake! I spent my entire second semester learning how to make documentaries. How boring would life be if all documentaries were about petty college relationship problems? I used to talk about Jim Jones and the Second World War and music in the sixties and John Hughes movies and comics and travel. I was so much more interesting in high school.

I once spent an entire lunch hour discussing the moral implications of The Lion King. You'd think students in an all-girls high school would only discuss boys and relationships and sex. We did, but our conversations were more of the yaoi variety and were accompanied with a panoply of drawings that were quite inappropriate for school. We were more interested in the developmental stages of identical twins versus fraternal twins and the origin of the conflict that generated the First World War than in romance and dating. Other girls went on the Internet to fawn over Facebook pictures of their crushes; my friends and I went on the Internet for Failblog and Albino Black Sheep.

We even co-wrote an entire play for our English class, about witches, illusionists, epic quests, terrifying kittens and transgender samurai. Ino and I used it as the script for our final project, although we added a few scenes, thus the necessity of bringing in the art department. When we presented it in high school, we tried to avoid needing background pieces and props, but with a movie, we could use Poptart backgrounds and man-sized goldfish as much as we wanted.

It's a good thing we did, because otherwise, I would've never met Sai. He might not be good in bed, but he makes up for it the rest of the time. He makes me happy, that boy does. He makes me feel worthwhile. We spend an awful lot of time together and I never get tired of him. I get tired of being high, but not of him.

As if she were psychic, Ino texts me the minute I'm done with my paper on Soviet cinema. She deplores the fact that we haven't spent a lot of time together lately and that we need to make up for lost time at Kiba's tonight. Besides the fact that she's never stayed in the same relationship as long as she has with Kiba, I can't help but wonder why she wants us to catch up at his place. Wouldn't she rather it be somewhere more private, like one of our apartments? Or, actually, hers, because mine is not entirely private anymore.

But this is what I need. A good night in with my best friend, talking about more interesting things than relationships, maybe watching movies, maybe drinking a little. No weed, for a change, no terrible sex and no Sasuke. Ooh! Maybe we can play board games. I haven't played a board game in ages.

. . .

We played a board game alright.

I'm not entirely sure who won and who lost and I'm not entirely sure that I care. Also, don't really know when or how I got home, considering I can barely stand straight and my vision hasn't been this blurry since...

... meh. It's too hard to think.

There are a number of other things I don't know, like what time it is, how many people I've made out with at Kiba's and how much I've had to drink. I do know how long it's been since I've been this drunk, and that's... uh... yeah! That's a... loooooooong while...

Hahaha.

But back to what I don't know. I don't know what day we are. With the whole midnight thing, it's kind of confusing. I also don't know how I managed to unlock my apartment door, avoid my roommates and make it to my room without breaking something or setting the whole place on fire. 'Cause that's what I do! If I took a cab home, I have no idea how I paid, or if I paid at all. I don't know why Sai's not here. He would've loved the party. And I know that with the amount of alcohol in my system, I really wouldn't make the difference between good sex and bad sex.

Hmmmm...

On second thought, maybe it's good that he didn't come with me. Because although I don't know how I got my clothes off, I do know that I have Sasuke between my legs and I can definitely tell that this is good sex.

. . .

Sasuke's arms around me. His torso against mine. Lying between my legs, but not inside me and I don't mind. Skin against skin. Warm, smooth.

My hands on his back. My ear against his chest, against his racing heart. My own heart, quick, beating against my ribcage.

His lips on the top of my head, on my forehead. One hand in my hair, the other on my shoulder blade. A finger drawing circles on my skin.

I can hear him panting. I think I am too.

It's the first time I'm actually physically in this kind of dream.

It feels good.

. . .

GET DOWN, GET DOWN AND MOVE IT ALL AROUND. GET DOWN, GET DOWN AND MOVE IT ALL AROU-OUND. OOH BABY YOU'RE SO FINE, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MI-

"Mmmh?" I grunt into the wrong end of my cellphone.

"Sakura?" says Ino's voice from somewhere around my chin.

"Maybe."

"Sakura."

"Depends what you want with me." I hear Ino sigh on the other end of the line.

"An editing room just got freed up. Get your ass over here."

"Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"Noooo..."

"Yes, Forehead, get up!"

Oh God, everything hurts. My shoulders, my back, my arms, my legs, my head, my hair. Even my eyelids feel bruised. It takes me a while to realise that I had to reach up to get my cellphone. Not to my side. Up. I crack my eyes open, despite my brain's protest (yes, because that one hurts too) and look around me.

I am in my room, which is good. I do not, however, have the usual point of view of waking up in my room. I'm directly under the light on my ceiling, which is exactly in the middle of the room, and my bed is in the corner of the left and back walls when you're standing in my doorway, which means I usually have to turn my head a little to the left to be looking at my ceiling light when I'm lying with my head pointed towards the back wall.

Also, these aren't my sheets. Well, they used to be. They're old sheets. And this is my Harry Potter blanket, which I gave to Sasuke because he didn't ha–

Oh God.

Oh God.

I sit up. I turn to my right; sure enough, there's my bed, the top at my eye level. I turn to my left; aaand there's Sasuke. Sleeping. Naked. I look down; so am I. I bury my face in my hands.

I can't believe this happened. I can't believe I let it happen. I'm a terrible excuse for a girlfriend. No, scratch that, I'm a terrible excuse for a human being. I know how wrong cheating is and how hurt I was when Idate did it to me, and I went ahead and did it to my boyfriend anyway! I shouldn't be permitted around other human beings. Hell, I shouldn't even be permitted to live.

Okay, maybe not that much, but still! I'm horrible! I'm a tramp. A lying, cheating, maneating tramp. I belong in a whore house. I'm dirty and tainted and disgusting.

And now I'm crying. Great. As if I'm the pitiful one here. I do something wrong and then I cry as if it's not my fault. My God, I hate myself.

And Sasuke! As far as I know, he didn't drink, last night. He has no excuse. He could've stopped me; he should've stopped me. He knows I have a boyfriend, he knows I've been cheated on in the past and he knows sex with him is completely prohibited. I'm fairly certain it was obvious that I wasn't all there last night and he still took advantage of it. He took advantage of me! I might not be entirely clean in this, but he's as guilty as I am. If anything, he might have realised that I wasn't in control of my actions last night and decided to have sex with me, thinking I wouldn't stop him or remember it this morning.

I have to get away from him. I need Ino. She'll help me. We didn't even get to talk last night. Or if we did, I don't remember and we must have been too drunk to discuss something substancial.

"Are you crying?"

I jump at the sound of his voice. He sits up next to me, facing forward.

"I didn't think I was that bad."

"Shut up, you twat."

"Hey, whoa, don't get mad at me."

"Why shouldn't I? Look what you did to me!"

"You wanted this just as much as I did."

"I DON'T WANT THIS. I didn't want this. It's just that I was drunk, I didn't know any better!"

"All I know is that you came home and jumped on me."

"I have a boyfriend! You know I do! You should've stopped me."

"And you know I–..." He stops himself mid-sentence and frowns. He's keeping something from me and it only pisses me off more.

"You what?"

"Nothing."

"Fuck you."

I get up and throw clothes on, then storm out. I don't know how I'm going to keep living with him. Besides drinking myself silly. Oh, that'd make a great picture. High with my boyfriend and then drunk with my freeloading ex-fuck buddy. I'm on my way to some amazing life choices, aren't I?

. . .

A/N: Something really fun is headed your way, guys! And something not as great, but still very interesting.

Also, I can't help but think like Sakura in this. I was definitely much more interesting in high school. Oh well.

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