Dialectic High School's anime club was one of the oldest in the school's history. It attracted its fair share of interesting characters but none were so enthusiastic and strange as its current members.
Ayn Rand hated how the club had an elected leadership so as soon as she was elected president of the club in her sophomore year she abolished the council altogether. Unfortunately, this led to some rather chaotic meetings.
The club met after school on the fourth floor almost every day. Today they agreed to watch an anime and discuss it. "Hey Ayn, I brought Gundam! It's like, a classic," said Milton Friedman. Ayn rolled her eyes and snorted. "Gundam? I didn't know your tastes were so pedestrian," she snapped. Anime fans who focused too much on the supposed classics were boring.
"I want to watch Death Note," whined Richard Nixon.
"Now this is an excellent suggestion, Richard. Light Yagami's quest to purge the world of filth is a truly admirable undertaking. He defeats that liberal, L," she sneered, "All because he wants to create a better world where no one can steal the private property of another man! A man is entitled to the sweat of his brow!" After a dramatic pause Ayn concluded, "Light Yagami says YES! Let us watch Death Note!"
Richard shifted uncomfortably. "We should hurry before Ron shows up. I think he wants to watch Kill la Kill again."
"Kill la Kill is a truly magnificent anime. It is indeed a classic. Unlike Gundam," Ayn snarled, eyeing Milton angrily. "I aspire to be like Satsuki, a beautiful and intelligent woman who achieves power by stealing it from anyone who stands in her way. Even her own mother! What a truly feminist message, unlike those filthy liberals who believe women are too frail and weak to wrest power from others!"
Ronald Reagan burst into the room, followed by Georgie Bush. "Hey guys! George drew some amazing fanart! You need to see this!" he shouted.
Georgie pulled his sketchbook from his real leather backpack. "It's Tomoko from Watamote. Isn't she just the perfect waifu?" he said with a dreamy sigh. Tomoko was dressed in a skimpy school girl uniform looking as miserable as ever.
"Now show them the other one!"
Georgie flipped a few pages forward and presented the club with a picture of another sullen looking red headed girl in a purple and green bathing suit. The club ooh-ed and ahh-ed. "It's my heroine, Vivian James, isn't it?" sighed Ayn. "You truly captured her essence, Georgie. She is a strong female character and independent in every way imaginable. Vivian James represents the struggle of the oppressed gamer against the feminists who want to collude against us! How dare these loose harlots attempt to remove our property! How dare they censor our brave journalists!"
Milton grinned. "You have to pick a waifu Ayn. You can't have both Satsuki and Vivian!" he said. He had his eye on Satsuki but she beat him to the claim. Ayn blushed. "You...are right. We must change the waifu logbook."
She took a large leatherbound book out of her bag and flipped to an open page. "Ayn Rand relinquishes Satsuki as waifu. Milton Friedman claims Satsuki. Ayn Rand claims Vivian James."
"It is done," she announced, looking pleased.
"Speaking of fanart, I have something to show you all too!" Milton scrambled for his notebook and flipped to a nude drawing of Rouge the Bat from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. "I'd claim Rouge as my waifu but Satsuki is just too brilliant."
Georgie turned red. "Read my lips, Milton! No more new furries!" he screamed. The last time they had accepted a furry into the anime club it ended in utter disaster. While not exactly a furry, Henry Kissinger was a proud brony and made everyone watch My Little Pony. After each episode, he summarized its conservative message beautifully. Yet Ayn didn't appreciate how the ponies worked together. They even had a monarch to rule them! Patently absurd! The ponies would have revolted against the queen and established their own society where no one answered to anyone! They fought bitterly until Kissinger eventually transferred out of the school, too upset to return to classes. The anime club was now so traumatized that they could no longer watch My Little Pony or even look at furry art. They cursed Henry for ruining one of their favorite shows.
"Anyway, can we go back to the anime? I want to watch One Piece today. There's a new episode out," said Ronald.
Ayn squealed with delight. "One Piece is the perfect libertarian masterpiece! Searching for the ultimate treasure and defeating all who stand in your way! The individualism is incredible!"
Suddenly Vlad poked his head into the room, looking genuinely angry for a change. "Can you keep it down? We've got a competition tomorrow and we're trying to practice," he growled. Unfortunately, the debate team and the anime club met on the same days and in adjacent rooms. Plus, the walls were so thin that any time one of the anime club members started shouting (usually Ayn, and quite frequently), the debate club would hear it loud and clear.
Ayn looked as if she was going to leap onto Vlad and rip him apart despite being nearly half his height. "YOU! Accursed liberals! Foul communists!" she screeched. "How DARE you police my right to free speech! You have censored me for the last time!"
Vlad sighed, something he did often when dealing with the anime club. "We just need you to be a little quieter. Then you can go back to crying about your waifus or whatever," he said, trying to regain his composure.
But Ayn would not hear of it. "I am canceling today's anime club! We are having an emergency meeting outside!" Before storming out of the room she pointed a finger into Vlad's face and snarled, "Your days are numbered, Lenin. We will bring down the full might of the anime club onto your wretched organization! Centrally organized! Members taking orders from leaders! You are a bloodthirsty dictator who only wishes for more power! Well, you may have your underlings by the gonads, but you shall never defeat Ayn Rand and the anime club!"
Vlad wiped her spittle off his face with the back of his hand and rolled his eyes. The rest of the anime club shot him dirty looks. "We're going to make the debate club scream!" cackled Richard as he walked past Vlad.
Ayn Rand was mostly harmless but vice principal Adam Smith, who was responsible for club activities, may take her side so the debate club had to be diplomatic when dealing the the weaboos. Vlad knew that he had potentially put his group in danger….