Chapter 18: Do It Without You

Blurb: Thanks for being patient and waiting for this chapter. I hope you guys like it. :) ~ This chapter is titled after the song No Trace- by Ms Mr.~

Begin:

They were all sitting in the living room, waiting for someone- anyone- to come back with news. The last thing anyone knew, Rick was heading off the property with Glenn, Daryl, and Shane. The room was sober in its silence. No one could bring themselves to speculate out loud. But anything could be happening at that moment… There were so many dangers in those woods. Excluding Shane, the variables were endlessly unpredictable.

Ellen's thoughts spiraled as she sat quietly in her cushioned armchair near the others. She was afraid for Rick, Glenn, and Daryl. And if she was honest with herself, she hoped Shane didn't bother coming back.

Ellen felt a strong burning sensation growing in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure if it originated from the betrayal Daryl had delivered when he left her behind, or from the part of her that was grateful to him for it. Because it was blatantly obvious to her… Despite her pleas to get more exposure in this world, Daryl was still sheltering her.

She wanted to be angry.

She wanted to yell and scream and toss things.

But she couldn't.

Ellen's thoughts were interrupted by Andrea, who stood from her seat on the couch, "I'm going out to look for them."

"Don't, they could be anywhere. And if Randall comes back, we'll need you here," Lori reasoned with her.

Just then, Ellen was surprised to hear Daryl's familiar footfalls coming up the porch steps, along with what must have been Glenn's. Daryl walked into the living room then, and surveyed the room, "Rick and Shane ain't back?"

"No." Lori answered.

"We heard a shot." Daryl explained.

"Maybe they found Randall?"

Daryl shook his head, "We found him."

"Is he back in the shed?" Patricia asked.

"He's a walker."

"Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel asked.

Glenn hesitated, "The weird thing is, he wasn't bitten."

"His neck was broke." Daryl elaborated. "Shane and Randall's tracks are right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker. So he didn't come up behind 'im. No, they were together."

Lori grew panicked, "Would you please go back out there and find Rick and Shane. Find out what is goin' on."

Daryl didn't hesitate to agree, "You got it."

"Thank you."

Daryl turned away from Lori and made his way back toward the front of the house. He passed Ellen as he walked. Their eyes met briefly, but he didn't say anything to her. The simple look conveyed enough to Ellen. He was standing firm on his position. He didn't regret leaving her here in the Greene house.

Ellen let this sink in. Part of her selfishly wanted Daryl to take back his words. She wanted him to be sorry… to tell her he was wrong. Selfishly, she wanted to be allowed to do reckless things like put herself in dangerous situations without training or guidance. Because if she survived it, she would become stronger more quickly. But clearly, Daryl wouldn't allow her to take that route. She would have to take baby steps under his tutelage. And boy, did she need his tutelage.

Most of Ellen was irritated. In fact, about 85% of her was pissed. But the other 15% acknowledged Daryl's intentions came from a position of guardianship and protection. The fact that Daryl even felt the need to take her under his wing at all was something to be happy about. So even if he was showing that he cared through actions that were callous on the surface, Ellen saw through them to his core. Daryl cared about her, and that was more important than a silly promise.

Daryl burst back through the front door of the house, having just left moments before. "HEY, hey! Ya'll need ta see this! Come on out here!"

Ellen sprung up from her seat immediately and followed after Daryl. Glenn and Maggie were close behind them. Some of the others were hesitant, and asked questions, "What is it? Where are you going?"

Ellen followed Daryl onto the porch, their boots scuffing the wood panels briefly. He stopped just in front of the railing and looked out over the edge of the property. Ellen looked at the horizon briefly, but didn't see anything. She looked back at Daryl then, and he recognized the question in her eyes. "You don't see it? C'mere."

Daryl took her arm in his large hands and pulled her toward the railing. He pointed one long arm out toward the barn. "Look out, way back there. You see 'em?"

Glenn saw them as soon as Daryl directed Ellen's vision in the right direction, "Holy shit…"

Ellen noticed it then too. In the distance, despite the darkness, one could just make out multiple figures stumbling across the property. Once she registered what they were, Ellen gasped and let her eyes roam over the fields. It was difficult to make them out, but they were definitely there. Ellen could see numerous clusters of walkers stalking over in their direction. There were hundreds of them.

Ellen sent a panicked look to Daryl. Feeling the horror radiate off of her, Daryl didn't know exactly how to reassure Ellen properly. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, effectively moving so he was now towering over Ellen's small figure.

Ellen thought Daryl was strangely calm. Their home was about to be torn to bits by walkers, and he was totally ready for it? Ellen couldn't contemplate how he was staying so in control.

Hershel turned to his sister, "Patricia, turn off the lights."

"I'll go get the guns." Andrea stated.

"Maybe they'll pass on the highway. Should we just go inside?" Glenn asked.

"No. Unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size will rip the house down." Daryl explained.

It didn't take long for Andrea to come back with the guns. Soon, everyone in the group was rifling through the weapons. Maggie passed a rifle to Glenn, "Maggie?"

"You grow up country, you pick up a thing or two." Maggie stated in explanation.

"If I got the numbers, that's no use." Daryl answered.

"You can go if you want." Hershel offered.

Daryl didn't back down, "You gonna take 'em all on?"

"We have guns… we have cars…" Hershel cocked his rifle back quickly.

"We'll take down as many as we can. And we'll use the cars." Andrea answered.

Daryl didn't look convinced, "You serious?"

"This is my farm. I'll die here." Hershel's voice was firm with conviction. He turned to walk down the porch steps, ready to defend his home.

"Alright." Daryl said, "It's as good a' night as any."

Daryl turned his attention to Ellen, "Looks like we got walkers ta kill."

Ellen crossed her arms defiantly, a little surprised Daryl was willing to pair up with her at all. "So, now, when we're under attack, you'll be on team Ellen?"

Daryl shook his head in disbelief, "You pick yer battles wisely, Ellen. Lets just get this done."

Despite everything, Ellen was glad they weren't separating. The underlying fear that had sparked her asking Daryl not to leave her… well, that fear had come from knowing that Rick's group was separate from the Greene's. And Ellen didn't want to be left behind with the Greene's, should Rick have suddenly left the farm. She wanted to be with them… she wanted to survive.

And now they were working together to save the farm. The two groups had come together almost completely, and this was a relief to Ellen. Even if the circumstances were dire.

Daryl stalked down the porch steps onto the grass, and Ellen followed without question. He looked back at her briefly, "Got 'yer gun? Knife?"

"Yes. I'm ready."

Daryl grunted in response.

They rounded the corner of the house to reach the vehicles. Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, and Andrea were already packing into two vehicles. Daryl and Ellen would have to take the motorcycle out.

Daryl approached the motorcycle and whipped his crossbow off his back. He placed it in one of the pouches near the front of the bike, where it was easily accessible. "Can't have you getting' whacked in the face with my crossbow."

Ellen smiled briefly, considering the mental picture as Daryl mounted the bike quickly. "C'mon, Peaches. Work ta be done."

Ellen nodded, pushing aside her thoughts of discomfort at being in such close proximity to Daryl. Apparently he wasn't the only one with a sensitivity for personal space.

Ellen climbed on the bike after a moment of hesitation. Daryl roared the engine to life as soon as she was seated. He had to yell over the noise of the engine to instruct her, "You gotta hang on or yer gonna fall off in the grass, girl!"

Now Ellen really hesitated. Where exactly was it ok to touch him? She didn't know.

Daryl grew frustrated when Ellen didn't move. He turned in his seat to grab one of her hands at a time and place them around his torso. Then, he grabbed the handles and pushed off, willing the motorcycle to rumble through the grass.

T-Dog and Maggie, who were both driving, were waiting for Daryl to start moving. As soon as the motorcycle was leading the other two vehicles, they moved down the path and ventured toward the outskirts of the farm.

Daryl immediately noticed that the barn was on fire. It was hard to ignore. The flames were practically engulfing the entire structure already. Seeing this, he decided to head in this direction first.

Daryl stopped the motorcycle just outside the fence that led to the barn. This offered some semblance of protection. As soon as the motorcycle was at a standstill, Daryl whipped out a pistol and began firing at walkers in the barn area. These walkers had clearly been attracted by the blaze itself.

Ellen pulled her gun out from the waistband of her jeans. But she found it difficult to maneuver around Daryl's broad shoulders to get a good range of her targets. So, she did the brave thing and got off the bike.

As soon as Ellen had dismounted, Daryl sent her an urgent look. "You stay near me, ya hear?"

Ellen raised her gun as she answered, training her gaze on the target before her, "Got it."

BANG! First walker down.

Ellen turned her gun slightly. BANG, BANG! One more down. Ellen missed it's head the first try. What a waste of bullets.

T-Dog and Andrea were rounding the corner of the fence near the barn, circling back around so Andrea could shoot walkers from inside the car. Glenn was leaning out the side of Hyundai, with Maggie driving around in circles near the front of the house.

Jimmy had pulled the motor home up to the gap in the fence earlier, effectively blocking the way so walkers couldn't pass. But the barrier couldn't last long.

Ellen kept her focus on shooting the walkers. She tried to keep herself calm, counting the walkers she killed as a distraction from the reality of her task. 5… 6…7…8…

She would need to reload on bullets soon.

Daryl was still on the bike, shooting from his mounted position. The walkers were getting closer than Ellen was comfortable with. Even with both Daryl and Ellen shooting as a team, they weren't able to keep the heard at bay. The walkers were closing in on the fence. Ellen watched in horror as the walkers tore through the barbed wire fence, barely deterred by it at all. The posts began to fall in their wake. The fence was about to be breached.

"DARYL!"

Daryl kicked the motorcycle forward, coming toward Ellen's position in the grass. He stopped in front of her suddenly, so she could mount the bike, "Get on!"

Ellen obeyed, and they were off. The motorcycle approached Jimmy in the motor home. Daryl called to Jimmy, "YO! It must have been Rick and Shane that started that fire! Why don't you circle round? GO!"

Daryl turned the bike away from Jimmy as the motor home pulled away toward the flames of the barn.

Ellen scanned the fields to look for the other vehicles. She noticed the blue truck T-Dog and Andrea were using on the other end of the property. T-Dog had resorted to mowing down walkers with the truck.

Daryl urged the bike toward the farmhouse, where most of the Greene family still remained. He weaved past hoards of walkers, dodging the few that could be missed. Some walkers came close to grabbing at Ellen's limbs before Daryl had enough time to push forward. Daryl yelled over the roar of the bike, "GUN! Shoot them, Ellen!"

Ellen struggled to keep her grip on Daryl's torso as she fumbled for the gun at the waistband of her jeans. She had to strategically maneuver herself to both keep her balance and make sure she didn't fly off the back of the bike when Daryl accelerated.

Since Daryl couldn't shoot a gun and keep both hands on the bars of the motorcycle at the same time, Ellen was left to figure out how to shoot a gun on the bike. The bike hit a pocket in the field and nearly sent Ellen off the bike. At that moment, she wished for a third arm. She needed to figure out how to stay put.

"Line your arm up with mine! It will help you balance!" Daryl shouted.

Ellen obeyed without question. She held on tightly with her left hand, and held the gun out with her right. Leaning her arm against Daryl's allowed her to feel more certain of her position relative to space as they kept moving forward.

Suddenly, their path was blocked was three walkers. The bike couldn't get through without facing them. Ellen pointed her weapon and focused on the first target. And the walker fell. Then, there was one left. Ellen shot again. But with little to steady her, the bullet hit the walker's stomach. The walker was merely angered, and sprinted toward the bike.

It let out a terrible yowl as it approached. But Ellen met it with another bullet, this time in the head. Daryl accelerated quickly, leaving the lifeless walker behind.

"SHIT! I need more bullets!" Ellen exclaimed.

"My left pocket!" Daryl replied.

Ellen shoved her left hand into Daryl's pocket. She managed to hold both the gun and Daryl with her other hand as she did this. Feeling the cool of metal meet her fingertips, Ellen grabbed a handful of bullets and struggled to bring her hands around Daryl's torso, as the bike kept moving forward.

She fumbled with the gun, opening the chamber quickly with her other hand. Ellen used her arms to keep herself glued to Daryl behind the bike while her hands maneuvered in front of Daryl's chest. Ellen had to look over Daryl's shoulder to try and see what she was doing. It did take a few tries to finally get all the bullets in place, but the gun was soon loaded.

"We'll help the others at the house!" Daryl briefly explained their intended destination.

Ellen had already guessed they were heading toward the farmhouse. But she was grateful to know Daryl was communicating a game plan with her. It made her feel like she was part of his team… like he valued her help and opinion.

Ellen's attention was suddenly caught by the sound of gunfire near the front of the farmhouse. She spotted Hershel immediately. He was positioned directly in front of the porch steps, defending the front of the house. Walkers continued to creep closer to the house, closing the distance towards Hershel. Ellen grew panicked, "Hershel!"

Daryl understood immediately. They would help Hershel before finding the others.

Ellen continued to shoot down walkers, creating a clear path towards Hershel. Finally, they were able to break through the crowd of walkers. Daryl pushed through them quickly, as soon as enough space was allowed.

Hershel didn't stop shooting his hunting rifle as the bike approached. Daryl stopped the bike near the porch and set up the stand, grabbing for his crossbow quickly. Ellen hopped off the bike and marched toward Hershel, offering her bullets as support to Hershel's efforts. Together, they shot walker after walker.

But Ellen could see that the walkers were closing in fast. "HERSHEL! You've GOT to come with us. We can't stay here!"

"I'm NOT leaving my farm!"

One walker was growing painfully close to their current position. Ellen decided to break ranks and pushed forward, meeting the walker with a knife to the head. It fell to her feet with a thud.

It was a strange feeling. But Ellen found that the more she focused on her own survival, and the less she focused on the meager odds of their situation, the easier it was to just kill them. Ellen had killed more walkers in half an hour than she had seen in her entire life.

Ellen backed up slowly, bringing herself back toward Hershel. Her gun was up and trained on another walker. It fell after the bang.

Daryl was suddenly behind her, "Take this!"

Ellen turned to look towards him briefly, but he had already slung a small bag over her head. It had a long strap and hung lightly at her hip.

She trained her attention back on the walkers. "What's this?"

BANG! Daryl had his gun out now too. "Bullets."

BANG! BANG!

Ellen was a bit confused. If Daryl wanted her to have extra bullets, he should have given them to her before they went out to shoot things. Ellen backed up more, leaning toward Daryl. "Why now?"

Daryl grunted, "We're leaving the bike, ain't we?"

It was a rhetorical question. Ellen knew that if they were going to make a dent in this walker population, they had to be off the bike.

Ellen heard Lori yell out from the porch, "CARRRRRL!"

Ellen kept her focus on the walkers before her. If Carl was in danger, she was in no position to help them now. She had to focus on her own task now. If they were going to survive, she had to fight her own battles.

Then, Lori and Carol both called from the porch, "Hershel it's time to go!"

"Come on! NOW!"

"HERSHEL! HERSHEL!"

But Hershel didn't even turn to acknowledge them. He had stubbornly made his choice. He would stay and fight for his home.

Ellen tried to reason with Hershel when Lori stopped her urging, "PLEASE, HERSEL! You have to go with them! You can't stay here! If don't live, this will all have been for NOTHING!"

Hershel turned to look at Ellen briefly, but kept firing his rifle, "You're a good girl, Ellen. You should follow them. I'm not going anywhere."

Ellen felt the tension in her jaw as she realized Hershel could not be reasoned with. She pursed her lips in determination, and continued firing rounds. She had to stop to reload once, but it didn't take long.

As Ellen finished reloading, she heard a piercing scream cut across the field. The sound came from the side of the house. The screaming continued, and Ellen knew it was the women from their group. They were in trouble. They must have tried to escape the house without aid.

Ellen flashed a look to Daryl. He looked stricken. It was almost like he could read Ellen's thoughts. He knew what she was about to do before she even did it.

And without a word, Ellen whipped around and bolted toward the side of the house. Daryl called after her, "ELLEN NO!"

"STAY WITH HERSHEL!" Ellen called back.

Ellen was around the corner of the house before Daryl could protest further.

But the site that met Ellen's eyes absolutely shocked her. She first saw a swarm of walkers, all converged together in one tight pack. They were grabbing at something, each clawing for the object in the center. Ellen took a few hesitant steps forward, and her view was changed. She could clearly see Patricia in the center of the swarm of walkers. She was being eaten alive by the creatures.

Another scream tore Ellen from the gruesome scene. She then noticed Beth, who still clung to Patricia's outstretched hand. Walkers were surrounding her as well. But she didn't appear to be bitten.

Ellen thrust forward, focusing on Beth as her main priority. Lori was to the side of the scene, firing bullets on a few walkers at a time.

Noticing that Lori's tactic wasn't doing much damage to the creatures, Ellen decided to take a more direct approach. She grabbed her knife with one hand and her gun in the other, and plunged toward the walkers that surrounded Beth.

Luckily, the walkers were greatly distracted by Patricia's freshly drawn blood, and they hadn't turned their attention to Beth yet. Ellen pushed her knife into the first walker's skull, leaving it still. The next walker turned toward her, forgetting Patricia entirely. Its hands lunged at Ellen. The creature grabbed Ellen's jacket and pulled her forward, leaving Ellen just enough time to thrust her knife upwards. The creature stopped its advances and fell to the ground.

Ellen had a clear space to grab at Beth now. She reached out and latched onto Beth's arm. Beth's screams were renewed, believing a walker was grabbing at her. "BETH! STOP! COME HERE! COME TO ME!"

Beth turned and hesitantly released Patricia's hand. Patricia was lifeless now. There was nothing left of her to fight for.

Ellen jabbed another walker to her left, allowing Beth more space to come towards her. Beth pawed at Ellen's torso, hugging her tightly as the chaos continued around them.

Ellen wrapped an arm around Beth and grabbed at her quickly. But this time, Ellen pulled Beth off her and pushed the girl away from the crowd of walkers. With Beth out of immediate danger, Ellen could now focus on getting herself out of the fray.

She raised her gun then, ready to focus on killing as many walkers as possible. It was clear to Ellen that the fastest way to do this was to use the gun- not the knife. Besides, subtlety wasn't an issue here. The walkers were already on them.

Ellen fired repeatedly, only stopping briefly to focus on the next target. BANG! BANG! BANG! The most difficult part was finding the walker's head quickly. The creatures were so dirty and decrepit; it was difficult to tell a limb from a cranium with one brief glance. And sometimes a second is all the time you have.

Ellen cleared a path for herself first, backing out of the crowd of walkers quickly. She fired half hazard shots at the remaining walkers as she pulled out of the pandemonium.

Ellen heard the truck pull up a few yards away. T-Dog had come to pick up the girls. Lori was already ushering Beth toward the truck. "Get Carol! SHE RAN THAT WAY!"

Andrea hopped out of the passenger seat of the car and rushed after Carol.

Ellen ran toward the truck, eager to speak to T-Dog. "What should we do?!"

T-Dog's face was lined with worry and fear, "WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! THE FARM IS LOST! GET IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK!"

Ellen was torn, she didn't want to abandon her new home. Where would they go? And Daryl…

Ellen turned to survey the farm quickly, "SHIT, WHERE'S DARYL!"

T-Dog yelled back, "Daryl can take care of himself! NOW GET IN THE GOD DAMN TRUCK!"

Ellen still had her eyes trained on the house. She noticed the motorcycle near the corner of the building. Daryl was using his crossbow to deter oncoming walkers near the side of the house. Hershel was with him. Apparently, the two had been forced back, away from the front of the house.

Rick and Carl were with them. They were dragging Hershel away from the farmhouse, toward the farm's red pick up.

Daryl turned and made eye contact with Ellen briefly, he pointed to T-Dog in the truck behind her. "GO!"

Registering that Daryl wanted her in the vehicle, Ellen turned toward the pickup. She pulled herself upwards; ready to swing her leg over the side of the trunk bed as she had so many times before.

She turned to see Daryl mounting the motorcycle quickly. He was off before Ellen had time to register he was actually going to safety. She watched him until the light from his motorcycle's headlights was far down the road.

But then, Ellen felt something grip her ankle and pull her off the truck. Two walkers were on her in seconds. Ellen was on her back, facing the walkers from the ground. She'd been stupid to let her guard down.

The crowd of walkers had shifted toward the truck after T-Dog drove up. Now, they were surrounding her. Ellen turned her eyes toward the blue truck, pleading for help.

But all she heard from the truck was loud arguing. And then, it roared to life.

Ellen expected T-Dog might try to run some of the walkers over to give her an escape route.

But when the truck pulled forward, it didn't swing back around.

It kept going.

And Ellen was left to face the swarm of walkers alone.