Scary-Oke Party
That night, Stan fired up the Portal. Dipper and Mabel were not allowed down there when he did it, because of the danger, but they stayed up to see the light. It was intense blue-white and lit up everything for miles.
In the morning, Mabel went through her sweater supply (which she stored in the big coffin in the curtained-off storage space of their attic bedroom).
"I found it!" Mabel called to Dipper. "I'm going to throw it out right now."
"What are you talking about?" asked Dipper.
"The llama sweater. Now that I've seen it's a symbol in Bill's creepy ring, I don't want it any more."
"I'm not sure that will help," said Dipper. "Somehow the reverse of that llama is going to end up associated with a person. Maybe we can pick someone that can help us."
"Who?" asked Mabel.
"Grenda, maybe," said Dipper. "She's strong."
"I'm not going to put that kind of curse on a friend," said Mabel. "I could give it to Pacifica."
"She wouldn't take it," said Dipper. "You know how she is about animals on sweaters."
"Ugh, I sure do," said Mabel.
"There's another possibility I found in Journal 2. It talks about how to make magical mirror clones if you have a sample of someone's hair and a mirror they looked into. When did you last wear that llama sweater?"
"When I went over to Gideon's house for a makeover, and... yikes! I did look in his mirrors, and he could have gotten a sample of my hair from a brush," said Mabel.
"That's what I thought," said Dipper. "Gideon could have made a mirror clone of you."
"Even Gideon wouldn't do something that creepy," said Mabel.
"A guy's obsessed with you, and he had the chance to make a copy that looked like you but that was subject to his will?" said Dipper. "A lot of guys would."
"You wouldn't do that... not even of Wendy," said Mabel.
"It would be tempting, but no," said Dipper. "But I'm not like Gideon. I have a conscience."
"So I just have to hope there isn't an evil mirror copy of me running around... Blargh!"
"I hope not, too," said Dipper. "One of you is enough."
"I'm throwing out the sweater anyway, just in case."
The Mystery Shack was officially open for business again, and it was packed. Everyone wanted to show their support for Stan by buying something, it seemed.
Stan stood on the counter with Dipper and Mabel beside him, and called to the crowd.
"Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack! We're here to celebrate we defeated that skunk Lil Gideon!"
He showed a Li'l Gideon doll to the audience and everyone booed.
"Please, please. Boo harder!" said Stan. "But I didn't catch that pork chop all alone. These two scamps deserve SOME of the glory."
Mabel elbowed Stan, and he said, "Okay, okay. Most of the glory."
They got a fake picture taken by Toby Determined, and a real one taken by Shandra Jimenez.
"And don't forget to go to the after-party tonight at eight," said Stan, showing a poster.
"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people! Lights! Music! Enchantment!" said Mabel.
She blew a handful of confetti and showed everyone a hand-drawn poster.
"And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band, 'Love Patrol Alpha'!"
"I don't know about that," said Dipper.
"I never agreed to that ever," said Stan.
"Too late!" said Mabel. "I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!"
Wendy blew an air horn. "Buy your ticket people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives! I'm talking to you, Pizza Guy! Don't lame out on me!"
When all the tourists were outside, Stan said, "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. And the Portal is open again. Everything is finally going my way. "
Dipper asked, "Grunkle Stan, may I have one of the Journals back to study during the day? You promised I could."
"Oh yeah, sure," said Stan. "I made copies of the pages I need for the Portal codes, anyway. Here, take Journal 3 for today."
Upstairs in their room, Dipper said, "Mabel, we've got to talk. We're halfway through the summer, and we still have barely begun to solve the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. We have all three Journals, and we know who the Author is, but what was Bill talking about when he said 'everything is going to change'? There's something HUGE going on right under our noses. And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it."
"Don't worry, Dipper!" said Mabel, holding up Waddles. "Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! 'I play by me own rules! Wot? Wot?'"
"I don't know why I tell you things," said Dipper. "Do you hear that?"
There was the sound of a large car pulling up outside. They looked out the window and saw it was a black, official-looking vehicle.
Downstairs, Grunkle Stan looked worried. He had shooed everyone out of the Mystery Shack.
"Grunkle Stan, what's happening? " asked Mabel.
"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop," said Dipper.
"Just play it cool and let me do the talking," said Stan.
Stan went to the door to meet the government men. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?"
The two government agents showed their badges.
"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger, we're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town." said the first agent.
"Activity!" echoed the second agent.
"Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!" said Stan.
Agent Powers said, "I assure you I'm not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor."
Stan laughed nervously.
"I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth," said Powers. "Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation."
"Investigation!" echoed Trigger, poking Stan as the two agents pushed their way inside.
Much as Dipper wished he could talk freely to the agents, he knew that if they looked into things too deeply they would discover Grunkle Stan's real identity and then he and Mabel would be sent home before they could solve the mysteries. He decided to lie.
"My Grunkle Stan is right," said Dipper. "There's absolutely nothing mysterious going on around here."
The two agents focused on him with instant suspicion.
"If you know something, it's your duty to tell us," said Powers, leaning in close to Dipper.
"Duty!" said Trigger, giving him a hard stare.
"Really, theres nothing," said Dipper.
"I see that you can't speak freely in front of people here. Take this card," said Powers, handing Dipper a card with his phone number on it. "Look. Between you and me I believe there is an conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one lead away from blowing the lid of this entire mystery."
"I-I'll call you if I think of something," said Dipper.
"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way," said Powers. "But I expect to hear from you soon, son, or we'll be back to take you into protective custody."
Trigger picked up a bunch of Stan bobble-heads. "I'm confiscating these for evidence."
"Smart move," said Powers, as they left.
When they were gone, Stan growled, "You blew it, kid. I told you to let me do the talking. You're not an experienced liar, like I am."
"Right," said Mabel. "You should leave the conning to the con men."
"What can I do now?" asked Dipper.
"Tell some of the truth," said Stan. "You'll be so unconvincing that they'll leave you alone."
"So, maybe I should show them Journal 3 and tell them I believe everything in it?" asked Dipper.
"That should do it," said Stan.
That evening, while the karaoke party was going on, Dipper called the number on the card and agreed to meet the agents in the woods.
"Guys, I'm so glad to see you," said Dipper. "Working together we can crack the all of the big questions of Gravity Falls! Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for."
He handed them Journal 3, and they started leafing through it.
Powers said, "Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop. I mean, Leprecorn? I can't be the only one who thinks that's not funny."
"I can confirm," said Trigger. "Not funny."
Still trying his best to be sincere but unconvincing, Dipper said, "No, no! It's real, I swear. I never saw that Leprecorn creature myself, but if it's in the book it has to be real. It's all true, even the spells."
"Kid, you have an overactive imagination," said Powers. "I'll do you a favor and prove it to you. For example, here's a supposed spell for raising zombies. You seriously expect me to believe that just reciting 'Corpus Levitus Diablo Dominus Mondo Vicium' will make zombies appear?"
The wind rose, the ground shook, and the earth cracked open to reveal an evil green light. From the cracks a horde of zombies began to creep out.
"Umm, yeah, I guess I do," said Dipper. "You guys can help, right!?"
"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years now but we have never seen anything like this before!" said Powers.
The zombies grabbed the agents and dragged them into the forest. Dipper ran.
When it was all over, they had discovered the secret writing in Journal 3 that only showed up in black light, and that the secret of defeating the zombies was a perfect three-part harmony.
"I'm sorry about this, guys. I totally ruined everything," Dipper said.
"Dipper, are you kidding me? I got to sing karaoke with my two favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that," said Mabel.
"Kids, listen. This town is crazy. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to these spooky journals, as long as you promise me you'll only use them for self-defense, and not go looking for trouble," said Stan.
"Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets," said Dipper.
Both promised, crossing their fingers behind their backs.
"Man, we have got a lot of zombie damage to clean up. Where's my handyman anyway?" said Stan.
"Brains, brains!" called Soos from the other room.
"Holy Moses!" said Stan, getting ready to fight Soos.
"Wait! There's a page in here about curing zombification. It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde," said Dipper.
"Ooh, and cinnamon!" said Mabel.
"I wonder if the other two journals have any black-light writing," Dipper said as they pushed Soos from the room with a chair.
When he checked later, he found the author had only used it in the last Journal. But it was still a whole new chapter of mysteries to explore.