Chapter 5: Running
Gail
With all of my past relationships, I had never taken the lead, With Chris I had tried to be the nice girl he deserved, but that ended horribly. With Nick, I couldn't hold back the bite, I didn't want to be heartbroken again. In both relationships, I never let my walls down, I tried my best to keep them at arm's length, with Holly, everything had been different.
For instance, kissing her in the interrogation room, calling her my girlfriend, and of course showing up to her flat at six in the morning and attacking her in a fire feed need to feel her. Holly had that effect on me, the words "I was like that too, before I realized I didn't like men" has been ringing in my ear for weeks now. Being with Holly was completely unlike being with Nick or Chris. Holly brought out a completely new side of me; the side, I let feel more with her, I went outside of my comfort zone, I let Holly closer than anyone, and I needed to prove to her that I wanted her.
These thoughts filled my mind every time I tried to go to sleep, normally they would lull me to sleep but tonight my brain wouldn't shut down. My inability to sleep could partly be blamed on the fact that I had 3 cups of coffee before leaving the station, mostly though, the fact that Holly talks in her sleep kept me up most nights. She rambles in her sleep, I nearly asked Tracie to pull a couple of Holly's reports for me to go over, just to see if her ramblings happened there as well. These were not the soft murmurs of someone sleeping peacefully, Holly spoke in full voice, making it hard to drown she out once started.
"Autopsy findings" Holly began and I cringed, I wondered if other pathologists or doctors did this in their sleep. "Really Hol." I had tried many times to quiet her down, to stop the talking, nothing seemed to work. Not only did she ramble and talk, she spoke nerd in her sleep too, I'm sure there's very little else she could surprise me with. "Anoxic-ischemic encephalopathy. Dehydration, Toxicology: heart blood: acetaminophen 8.8 mg/l. Urine acetaminophen detected. Cardiovascular: Heart weight 255 grams, focal pericardial adhesions, Cardiac ion channel mutation screening is negative." Holly breathed hot against my neck as she narrated the same autopsy for the third night in a row.
"Cause of death?" I questioned, knowing the answer, also knowing that it wouldn't wake her up. "Complications of Anoxic Encephalopathy." Holly answered shifting closer to me her fingertips pressing into my hip. "of course it is" I sighed, trying to find a way to fall asleep, trying to tune out Holly's continuous commentary as she redid the autopsy in her dreams. "Lungs." Holly continued hugging me tighter; I shifted my weight to get comfortable allowing her to settle almost completely ontop of me. "Tongue no significant histologic abnormalities" Holly approached the part of the autopsy that made me laugh every night. "Bone Thoracic vertebra, sever osteoporosis." Here it comes I thought to myself. "breasts not remarkable." I let out a small giggle and Holly fidgeted as she hugged me tighter to her, this always concluded her dream or the spoken part anyways. I found sleep shortly after growing accustomed to sleeping with Holly's weight on top of me. I had never been a Cuddly person, but I found myself searching for Holly next to me in my sleep, needing to feel her pressed close.
"You ok Gail?" Tracie walked into the locker room the next day after shift. I knew my hair was a mess, my eyes were red, and I couldn't stifle the third yawn to overcome me in the last 5 minutes. "I didn't sleep well last night." I shrugged as she cringed at me shaking her head. "I don't need to hear about your sex life." she laughed, sitting on the bench behind me. "God I wish that was the reason Trac, Holly talks in her sleep and by talking I mean, does autopsies and I have a hard time tuning her out, it's so weird." I leaned back into my locker trying to stretch my tired back, every part of me object to nearly all movement, my muscles were sore from my lack of sleep. "She does autopsy's in her sleep?" Tracie asked making a disgusted face. "I KNOW!" I laughed, leaning down to touch the floor, feeling all my muscles pull.
"I just don't know how to make her stop talking, she just goes on and on and I'm fucking starting to dream about it too." I pulled my phone and my bag out of my locker before following Tracie out of the locker room into the pit. "Have you talked to her?" Tracie asked leading the way towards the back parking lot of the station. "No" I fished my keys out of my bag standing next to my Nissan. "Maybe you should try that?" Tracie shrugged, standing next to her car. "you make it sound so easy." I laughed tossing my bag into the back seat.
I felt exhausted and had been contemplating calling Holly to say I would be staying at my place for the night, I needed a decent night's rest. I really wanted to see Holly though, which made me realize how quickly I had turned into that girlfriend, the clingy and dependent person I had never been before. Making up my mind to go to Holly's I made the quick drive to her building, she lived 5 minutes from the station.
I knocked on the door softly before leaning against the wall waiting for her to answer; my energy stock had nearly depleted itself on the drive over. "Hi." she smiled sweetly when she opened the door, her hair hung down around her shoulders and her tank top left little to my imagination. "You ok?" her eyes grew suspicious as they came to rest on my face, I knew I looked tired, everyone at work had told me so today. "Yeah, just sleepy." I smiled, pulling her into a hug, letting her take most of my weight as I leaned into her.
"Long shift?" Holly asked as she led me into her flat. I have spent most nights here since we started seeing each other, only staying at the frat house when I worked night shifts. "Yeah." I made my way to her couch, which for the time being would be my saving grace. "Dinner will be here soon." Holly sat next to me kicking her feet up over my lap as I got comfortable. This was our normal thing, I showed up, and we sat on the couch and talked, waiting for food, both of us too tired to cook most nights. Steve had called it extremely domestic of us, which is true, I didn't have to call before I came over, I normally did text her though, and she never seemed annoyed when I showed up.
"Gail" I felt Holly's hand in my hair as I slowly opened my eyes. The stupid cute lopsided smirk on her lips was too adorable for just waking up. "Foods here." she leaned forward and kissed my forehead before putting a plate on my lap. "You can't have pizza." I eyed it, mostly checking for tomatoes out of habit. "why not?" Holly asked, sitting cross legged on the other side of the couch. "You're lactose intolerant." I shrugged, taking a bite of my food groaning at how the amazing taste. "How did you know that?" Holly asked, setting her plate down, that's when I noticed her slice of pizza didn't have cheese on it. Which is also when I remembered she hadn't been awake when she delivered that bit of news. "You talk in your sleep." I muttered, not meeting her eyes, trying to figure out how to stop myself from talking too much.
"Gail is that why you're so tired?" her eyes shot to mine, wide brown eyes accompanied with a slight blush. "I'm talking in my sleep?" she looked embarrassed, I knew I wasn't supposed to know any of this. "I just don't want to wake you; you're so cute when you sleep." I shrugged, trying to play it off, I would learn to sleep through it eventually I'm sure. "Gail!" Holly sighed, looking down, a move I guessed signaled the end of the conversation.
"You do autopsy's in your sleep. You know, that's kinda weird," I laughed, unable to hold it back, Holly fell back on the couch. "Why are you just now telling me this!?" Holly asked covering her face with a pillow. "It's cute." I set my food down and crawled over her. "I like listening to you ramble." I shrugged straddling her legs. "Oh god" she huffed into the pillow before I pulled it away from her face; I kissed her for a moment, losing myself to the feel of her lips. "I just need to wear you out every night before bed." I grinned ghosting my lips over hers running my hands up her sides.
"Maybe that will stop your talking" I grinned pressing myself against her. "Gail." Holly rasped and I smiled. "Just a theory" I laughed sitting back up. "We may need to test it for a while." Holly smirked and I started eating again. A comfortable silence fell over us, comfortable silence is also new to me, being with someone and not feeling awkward for not needing to fill in the spaces. They were never empty, we stole glances at each other and that said nearly everything I needed to know.
"How was your day?" I asked, once our food had been finished and the dished had been put into the washer. "Still trying to figure out the case for Tracie." Holly shrugged cuddling into my side. "The unremarkable breast one?" I asked, laughing to myself, knowing I would get myself in trouble. "What?" Holly looked confused, but it only caused my smile to grow. "I've heard the results from that autopsy 4 times, you always stop talking at the breasts: not remarkable." I laughed, standing up and walking towards the kitchen in search of beer. "I hate you" Holly called over the back of the couch. "No you don't" I called back from the fridge, this would be fun now, she talked a lot in her sleep, I knew so much about her, presumably information she didn't want me to know just yet.
Unfortunately my theory didn't work, we had sex on the couch, in the shower, and in bed, yet here Holly started again. "Autopsy results" Holly mumbled her hand finding its way under my nightshirt. "Hair: Blonde." Holly pulled me tighter to her. This autopsy was new. "172 CM in height, 53 kilos" Holly breathed, running her fingers along the scar on my side. "12 CM scar on left abdomen." I froze; Holly was doing an autopsy on me in her sleep. "Mhhm, baby what's wrong?" Holly mumbled kissing my neck. "You ok? You're tense?" Holly seemed to wake up, her hand pressing into my side. "I need to head into work." I breathed quickly reaching for my phone and climbed out of bed. "That sucks." Holly mumbled and hugged my pillow tighter. "be safe." She sighed settling back into her dream. I had to leave; the scar, the autopsy in her sleep, those things scared the crap out of me. God I wanted to pass out, this, this right here, was me running.