Chapter 7: Worrying II

Holly

Once I had opened the file, I found it extremely difficult to turn to the second page. Page 1 had pictures of Gail right out of the academy, from her high school graduation, and a recent photo of her after her emotional haircut, and one in her formal uniform. I had been staring at the photos for over an hour, seeing her in these different stages of life brought with them the fact that Gail and I started dating just over 5 months ago, I had met Gail less than a year ago and yet I'm sure Gail's the woman I'm destined to be with. My phone vibrating on my night stand slowly brought me out of my thoughts.

You can cuff me any time: Still want to talk, now that you know all my secrets?

Dr. Hot Stuff: This file will not change that Gail, I want to see you

You can cuff me any time: You haven't read it. I figured you would have read the file by now, the way you binge read your medical journals. Finish it and get back to me.

Dr. Hot Stuff: Gail, please come over, I want you to come over.

Dr. Hot Stuff: I can meet you anywhere, baby please?

I'm well aware that Gail had ended our short conversation once again. Thick headed, that would be how I described Gail moving forward. Frustrated, I turned to page 2 Of the nearly 150 page file.

Pg. 2

Gail S. Peck

Top 10% of graduating high school class

Top 3% of Undergraduate Class

Second in class of the Toronto Police academy

Previous relationships within the department:

Officer Chris Diaz

Officer Nick Collins (Prior Engagement) Armed forces deployed to Afghanistan

Dr. Holly F. Stewart Forensic Pathologist 15th Division (currently dating)

I re-read the page multiple times before I came to the realization that my name appeared in Gail's file. Gail's parents knew of our relationship, did Gail tell them. I nearly called her, to inform her of her mother's knowledge. I knew Gail wouldn't answer; I needed to read the file and find her. Screw every form of communication we had, we needed to be face to face, I needed to touch her, the show her that we weren't over.

Pg. 15

Ross Perik a cab driver not previously suspected in the high-end call girl disappearances abducted Officer Gail S. Peck from the home of fellow Officer Andrea McNally. Ross Perik drugged and Gail kept hostage in the basement of his home. Office McNally had been drugged by Gail's attacker after attempting to prevent the abduction upon her arrival home; she had been left unconscious. Detective Jerry Barbed had been pronounced DOA at the house of Ross Perik (COD: sever blood loss from stab wounds to the abdomen).

I couldn't absorb a majority of the information, I could only understand that Gail had been kidnapped, Andy tried to stop it, and Jerry Barber had saved Gail's life. Gail was the officer that had been kidnaped, beaten, and assaulted a few years back. I had heard about the case around the office when I started with the department, I never derived the conclusion that Gail had been that officer.

The photos of Gail after the abduction made me cry; a person had harmed her, not on accident they purposely sought her out and caused harm to her. The wound on Gail's side had been from the abduction in her attempt to fight Perik in the initial attack at Andy's home. 13 stitches were needed to close the wound; Perik had apparently cleaned and cared for the wound before she had been rescued. Blood had been found on her dress and a puncture less than an inch round had been ripped from the dress.

Pgs. 17-45

Were crime scene photos, and evidence photos, and pictures of Gail's wounds. I wished I could crawl into the pictures and hold her, to tell her it would be ok. Nevertheless, I knew that I needed to read the file and find her, to return it to her and to hold her in my arms.

Pg. 46 had my name at the top in bold letters; unconsciously I reached out and ran my fingers over the letters. My name had its own page, not only a line under relationships, part of me worried about the information the peck family had access too, what had been included, what did Gail know in regards to my past.

Dr. Holly Faye Stewart

Birth Name: Trinity Ann Dawson

Born: Vancouver BC

Age: 31 (2014)

Valedictorian from UMASS Massachusetts MD Pathology

Mother: Shannon M. Scott

Father: Jason P. Stewart

Siblings: Bailey M. Stewart (Age: 26) (Adopted)

Status: Adopted

Biological Parents: U/K all files prior to college sealed

Notes: Outstanding credit, outstanding reputation in her occupational field, home owner.

A paper clip at the top of the page held my Toronto morgue badge photo, a copy of my driver's license, along with my transcripts from school and various letters of recommendation from a few of my professors.

I felt violated, Gail had neglected to fill me in on the background profile, all of my personal information had been included; she failed to mention it. Maybe I wouldn't hug her after all, finding out an entire section of her file had contained my information caused my temper to flare, I now needed answers. The last remainder of the file contained a list of cases she had actively participated in, cause of disciplinary actions against her, and comprehensive medical records. None of which I bothered to read. I closed the file and climbed out of bed quickly shoving my feet into a pair of slip on driving shoes and heading towards the door.

I no longer wanted to lay eyes on Gail, to hug her, hold her, I needed to know why her mother had all of my information and I why I hadn't been clued in on her intrusion into my life. Once I had reached my car my anger had peaked, I had a page in Gail's file. Gail knew about my family, my adoption, my GPA, apparently my credit history, and my salary at the morgue.

I'm sure steam clouds were coming out of my ears by the time I had made it to her apartment complex. I took the stairs two at a time to the 4th floor and stormed into her unit without knocking. My actions were promptly met by Chris, who instinctively reached to his hip for the gun that luckily wasn't there. "Sorry." I stopped, forgetting it wasn't just Gail, who lived here, that she had 2 and sometimes 3 other flat mates. "She's in there." Chris pointed towards her room, his posture relaxing significantly. "Thank you." I huffed and walked into the room, Gail stood in her room freshly out of the shower. I could see the beads of water on her skin as she pulled her t-shirt down over her body.

"For fuck sake don't you knock!?" she snarled, turning to face me, I held up the file with a white knuckle grip. "How long have you known?" I countered, matching her tone instantly, all too tempted to throw it at her. "What?" Gail asked her posture defensive, the posture mirrored that of a cop faced with an armed suspect. "Don't play stupid Gail! You had this hand delivered to me don't act clueless. You have a fucking file on me too." I threw the folder on the bed and started pacing along the front of her room, making sure Gail couldn't make a quick exit.

"What are you talking about, I dont have a file on you!?" she quickly ripped the file open and scattering the pages across her bed. "Why would I have a file on you Holly!?" Gail asked pausing when a picture of Jerry surfaced. "You didn't know?" I asked, crossing my arms attempting to give Gail the benefit of the doubt. "Fuck Holly, do you think I'm stupid, why would I tell you to read a file that had your fucking information in it?" she picked up the page with my name, before pinching the bridge of her nose.

"That's a new game." she muttered turning to me, the movement caused the towel around her waist fell away. Gail only had on her t-shirt and black boy short underwear, I couldn't resist staring at the toned milky legs conveniently on display. "I didn't know, My mother keeps tabs on Steve and myself, it's never contained work ups pertaining to our relationships." Gail put all of the papers back in the folder and threw it on her dresser.

"I couldn't tell you about what happened and I figured you would just keep asking about the fucking scar." Gail slowly pulled on a pair of sweats watching me, I'm positive my expression appeared disappointed as her legs were covered. "I've never seen what's on that page, or that that page even existed Holly." Gail looked defeated, her ridged posture fading away leaving her appearing tired, and in pain.

"Why would me knowing about the abduction would change us?" I asked, attempting to disarm my defenses, Gail hadn't been the one who dug into my past; the culprit had been Elaine Peck. "It changed all of my relationships." She slowly lowered herself onto her mattress, she couldn't hide the wince and gasp that followed the motion.

"What happened?" My earlier rage had quickly been replaced with panic, Gail was in pain. "Nothing." Gail glared at me trying to gauge my quick change in mood; I suddenly had amnesia and couldn't remember the reason for my anger. "Gail." I slowly walked towards her, trying not to freak her out. "I have a few bruised ribs, I took fire last night." My heart had stopped beating and started back up again triple tempo before Gail had even finished her explanation.

"Gail." I could feel the tears building up in my eyes, Gail had been shot, not shot at, or near gun fire, she had taken a bullet. "I'm fine; I took a bullet to the vest." She muttered as I quickly came to a stop between her legs, as gently as I could I urged Gail to lay down, slowly pulling the t-shirt up her torso. "Fuck." I choked out checking the deep blue and purple bruise on Gail's Side. The impact of the bullet could be easily made out, the impact point had turned an angry red, and I knew that Gail's bruise would cover the majority of her ribs by this evening.

"You didn't tell me." I gawked at her and she covered her face, I felt as if my lungs were giving out, no amount of air I sucked in seemed to be making its way to brain. "You needed to read the file." she complained through her hands. "For fuck sake Gail, you're in pain and you didn't call me!" I pulled her shirt back down; I couldn't look at the bruise again, I couldn't be near her. "We are supposed to tell each other stuff." I wiped my face feeling the steady stream of tears falling down my cheeks, when did that happen, when did I start crying. "I'm sorry." She sighed, moving her hands to stare up at me. "Fuck. Holly I'm fine, I'm sorry, I didn't." she started and I stormed out of the room, I couldn't do it, I couldn't stand there and listen to an excuse as to why she didn't call me.

"HOLLY!" Gail called after me and I stopped just short of the door, letting the broken sobs escape my lips. "I'm sorry; I didn't think you would talk to me after reading the file, or after the way I've acted the last few days." Gail reached for me, I shook my head, and backed away from her, I couldn't let her touch me, not right now.

"Do you know what I've dealt with the last 2 days?" I saw Chris attempting to escape into his bedroom from my peripheral. "Threats from your brother, if you don't make it right Holly I'll make your life a living hell. Your friends asking what I did wrong, why you were being cold gain, and then finding out your mother dug into my past Gail. All because I wanted to know what had hurt you. You want me to feel guilty over wanting to know why you have a fucking scar on your hip Gail, one that took 15 stitches to close?!" I asked, shaking my head, I couldn't control my voice, as my volume increased to yelling. "I'm in love with you god dammit, and all you're doing is pushing me away!" I couldn't stop the confession if I had tried. The word came spilling out the way my tears did, without knowledge or permission from my brain.

"You love me?" Gail asked I could see the cocky smile playing at the corners of her lips, the shine in her eyes. "What do you think Gail?" I asked, trying to hide the panic in my voice, I meant every word I said, I didn't intend on blurting out it in the middle of an argument, I also couldn't stop crying. Gail walked towards me, effectively backing me into the wall just behind the door, Gail had trapped me. "I love you too." I could feel her warm breath on my lips right before she kissed me, Gail's hands gripped my sides pulling me to her. Once Gail's lips touched mine, an instant calm washed over me, I could feel the Anger, frustration, and sadness dissolve.

"I'm sorry." Gail looked down when we pulled apart, eyeing the minimal space between our bodies. "The abduction is hard for me to discuss, Jerry saved my life and it cost him his. My feelings scare me, causing you to worry when I get hurt scares me, I don't want you to have to worry." Gail's right arm pulled me desperately close; I could feel her fingertips pressing into my skin. "When I'm afraid to lose something, I tend to pull away, or push people away." Gail's left hand found the skin at the base of my spine the pads of her fingers tracing circles there and I could feel myself melt into her. My tears had stopped and I breaths returned to a semi normal state. Fuck, I almost hated that Gail had that effect on me.

"Baby, I am so unbelievably sorry." Gail kissed my temple, causing me to shutter at the delicate gesture I had yet to grow accustomed too. "Back to baby are we?" I asked, trying to Gain a small bit of composure. Grasping desperately at the lingering edges of my anger. Gail had been hurt; she had walked out, and had been pushing me away. Gail had been shot and she didn't think I needed to know, which pissed me off. "Mmhhm." she hummed her approval slowly kissing down my cheek before lightly nipping at my jaw. "Don't." I groaned, pulling away from her. "Why not?" Gail asked, her eyes darkening with need. "I'm still upset with you." I leaned back against the wall, taking in Gail's form the best I could from our current proximity.

"Gail, you need to start talking to me, disappearing and sending your brother to play the middle man won't work in your favor next time. That's not going to make us work, I need you to tell me what's going on in that head of yours." I managed to pull completely away from her leaving nearly a foot between us. "Can we go back to your place?" she asked, unable to meet my eyes, her hair had dried since I came into the house and adorably resembled a baby ducks down. "Can we go to your place and talk?" Gail asked, rolling the hem of her shirt between her fingers.

"Yeah." I nodded, watching her retreat back into her bedroom for a moment before reappearing with her cell phone and her work duffle bag. The 48 hour emotional roller-coaster ride I had been on drained all the energy I had left, sadly I knew my ride wasn't over just yet. Gail and I had only just scratched the emblematic surface of our problems. I needed to divulge the information regarding my adoption and my birth parents, and I desperately wanted to have a conversation with Gail regarding the abduction.

Our figurative bubble was about to be shredded to pieces, there was too much unshared, too much left unexpressed. Unsure of my own self-control I began to wonder if our conversation would happen when we arrived at my flat, or would Gail and I end up spending three days in bed.