Revelations and verisimilitude
First things first… show of hands how many of you want to slap me because of the last chapter, don't be shy, I see you there glaring at your screen. It's ok because I knew what I was getting myself into.
Thank you to everyone who had stuck with the story after my 6-month hiatus.
Thank you for your comments and follows and favorites, I cherish each one of them
Guest: That last paragraph. Poor transition babe! You could have written it better; it didn't make sense. We know what's happening but it feels like you skipped a paragraph or two to get us there! I know that the last chapter had a few holes, I did this on purpose and I do plan on correcting.
A/N: this chapter is long, it is the longest chapter to the story at this point.
I know that Holly's change in mood the last chapter also threw some people for a loop but all things will be resolved in due time.
This chapter will move between three different narrators (may not be the last chapter like this). I hope that the 6K word (should have been split in three) chapter makes up for my slight delay.
Follow me on Tumblr to chat if you would like: apparent-winds
Steve
As a cop, you're prepared to put up the fight of your life every day; cops willingly walk into situations other people run from. Our training teaches us to shoot, to apprehend, and to detain suspects. Coming from a family of cops, I grew up aware that every time my parents left the house and put on the uniform that there stood a chance that they would not come home that night. Our mother moved up the ranks with such tenacity that she did not stay in uniform long enough to see the action or to fully understand the personal danger. Our father had been shot in the leg though; he spent 2 nights in the hospital before moving off the streets at our mother's demands.
I have spent time in the hospital, guns and gangs did major undercover work which rarely ended peacefully. I had been undercover for 6 months when Gail's had been abducted by Perik, I couldn't leave my post to be with her in the hospital and It broke me. Gail had spent countless nights with me in the hospital when I had been wounded; she always stayed by my side.
We were cops though, we knew the risks, we took an oath, we wear bulletproof vests, and we carry guns. Nothing prepares you for the call though, there's a possibility every day. When Oliver shows up at your door at 6 in the morning it steals the oxygen from the room and time feels as if it's slowing down. Nothing prepares you for the possibility of those injuries when you're off duty, Gail and Dov had just left the station at 5 in the morning to grab breakfast before heading home. Gail didn't have a bulletproof vest on, she didn't have her gun, Gail had been attacked and completely unprepared.
"Let me pick her up, you need to be here." Tracie pushed me back into my seat for the tenth time; the hospital waiting room had quickly filled with 15's officers. "Tracie, I need to get Holly, Dov claimed that Gail called twice before she lost consciousness. She should be here already!" My brain had shifted into full on panic mode, my baby sister had been In surgery for two-hours and her girlfriend wasn't here with the rest of us. I didn't know if she had been injured on her way to the hospital, if she had been filled in on Gail's condition. "Let me pick her up, they will want to talk to you if anything happens." Tracie nodded before kissing the top of my head, seemingly anchoring me to my chair, I had to stay the doctors could give an update if I left. "I'll be back soon; I have my phone call me if they give you an update." Tracie walked out of the ER; If Holly had been hurt on her way to the hospital Gail would never forgive me.
It felt like days rather than a few hours when Dov came out of the emergency room doors, the side of his face covered in gauze, Chloe walked him to the seat near Andy, a disapproving scowl on her face. He had been admitted to the ER when Oliver and I arrived at 6:15 this morning. "Dov, you should go home, we will call you when we have news." Oliver paced back and forth in front of the nurses station, his own nervous energy starting to wear on the rest of us.
"For the last time, I'm not leaving." Dov glared at Oliver before turning to me, his expression changing to guilt. "Steve, I am sorry." Dov watched me, his jaw clenched and he closed his eyes. "I don't remember what happened, we parked outside of the diner for breakfast and then Gail's on the ground and 5 guys are attacking her." Dov bit into his lip before staring at Oliver. "I was too late." Dov's gaze shifted to the floor as tears fell from his eyes. "I couldn't help her." He repeated before Chloe pulled him into her arms. I knew that Dov and Gail were the odd couple, best friends and their relationship had proved to be unbreakable.
"She'll be ok Dov." I reached out and squeezed his shoulder trying to convince myself that Gail would come out of this ok. "Where's Holly?" Andy asked, frustrated, Gail's friends had been cold towards Holly all week, for longer, maybe, my recollection of their behavior only went back a few days though. I had noticed it when Dov nearly ignored her when she asked for assistance, and Andy had walked away when she came into the scene. Gail and I hadn't had time to catch up since the pecktastrophe of a dinner at Elaine's home.
"She might not show up, Gail thinks they're breaking up." Dov breathed and I nearly lost my temper. "what!?" I asked, standing up unable to sit still, I started pacing along with Oliver, needing to concentrate my energy on walking and not punching the wall. "They haven't been talking for maybe a month, Gail told me that Holly gave her a vague answer when she asked if they were breaking up, claiming that she needed time." Dov sighed, looking up at me; his eyes followed me across the room and back before he sniffled again. "Steve, I couldn't protect her." Dov stared down at his shirt, the blue material stained a dark brown color, his nails were also stained brown, I couldn't tell if the blood belonged to him or to Gail.
From what Dov and Oliver explained, Gail and Dov had been jumped while off duty by a group of 5 guys. The entire confrontation had been caught on camera, the attack lasted less than a minute. Gail took the grunt of the beating, stabbed 3 times and she had lost a vast amount of blood in her struggle. Dov had been pistol-whipped and he needed 13 stitches, his report stated that Gail fought off the attack the best she could. They had already taken Gail into surgery by the time we arrived; Callahan had called after reviewing the security tape to inform us that the attack had been gang related a possible initiation, and that my unit would be handling the investigation moving forward. Dov told me that Gail had been conscious when they brought her in, but that it would be touch and go for a while.
"Have you called your parents?" Oliver asked, grabbing my shoulder, forcing me to stop pacing. "No, she wouldn't want them here Oliver." I couldn't meet his eyes; I watched the automatic doors to the ER, the vague shadows behind the frosted glass, how everyone's attention would shoot up whenever they opened. "Steve, they need to be here." Oliver sighed and I shook my head, unwilling to pick up the phone, to tell my dad that his daughter had been beaten, and currently laid on an operating table, that her injuries were inflicted off duty. "She has to be ok Oliver, its Gail she'll be ok." I tried not to imagine the worst, it went against everything I had ever been taught, prepare for the worst and hope for the best, I couldn't prepare for the worst when it came to my sister though.
"Peck?" a doctor wearing navy scrubs called from the nurses station before his eyes left the clipboard he gripped tightly. "Yeah" I ran over to him, trying to read his expression, trying to understand before I stopped in front of him. "I'm,uh, I'm Steve, her brother." I tripped over my words trying to read his expression to learn Gail's condition, 2 hours; she had been in surgery for 2 hours. "Your sister's strong; I need to ask if anyone in here had a Type A or O blood type though, we may need more blood." The doctor glanced around the group, Chloe and Andy both stood up and asked where to make their donations. "We are doing everything we can to save her, she's a fighter." The doctor nodded before moving me away from the group of officers that were listening to his every word.
"Your sister has a collapsed lung, 2 broken ribs, severe bruising to her hip and pelvis on top of the wounds she suffered from the knife, They have removed 4 inches of her large intestine, and a portion of her kidney." The doctor watched me as I took in the information, broken, bruised, removed my brain couldn't grasp the significance of a majority of the information, I just knew that he had said she was alive. "The surgeons are taking every step possible. Your sister has coded on the table twice, but she's stable right now, they are working as fast as possible to move her into the ICU." I felt the blood drain from my head and fall towards my feet, the room started spinning as I stumbled back into my seat; I couldn't stop myself from crying. He had been talking about my little sister and I was completely helpless, no matter how hard I wished she would be ok, she was still in surgery.
"Steve." Tracie ran towards me and I pulled her into my arms grabbing fistfuls of her sweater, every time I opened my mouth to speak no words came out. "What's happening?" Holly asked the fear and panic evident in her voice; I pointed to the doctor, I couldn't explain it or listen to it again. "I'm going to listen ok?" Tracie pushed me back and I just nodded, wiping my eyes. I looked up to see the blood drain for Holly's face, her expression changed and she just shook her head before sitting across from me nothing but a blank stare and shaking hands.
"Did you and my sister break up!?" I accused glaring at Holly, finally finding my voice again; the doctor had left the waiting room nearly 30 minutes ago. "What, no!" Holly stared at me; her expression made me realized that I wasn't the only one that could lose Gail today. "We didn't break up Steve; I can't live without her." Holly shook her head, I reached out and pulled her into my arms, feeling her sob into my shoulder, I held her as she shook.
3 hours had passed, Holly and I sat side by side, both of us staring at the sliding doors, waiting for news. Dov had fallen asleep, while Chloe and Andy just stared at their phones. Nick and Oliver had gone on a coffee run a while back, bringing nearly enough coffee for the entire hospital. "Dr. Payton!" Holly called out before shooting out of her seat, dragging me behind her, the sudden movement nearly made me dizzy. "Dr. Stewart." The man nodded towards us, this hadn't been the doctor to tell us Gail's condition before. "Has anyone been out to talk to you?" The man asked, he surveyed the cluster of blue uniforms staring back at him, the same fearful expression on their faces. "No." Holly breathed, I could feel her hand shaking and I could hear the tears in her voice.
"We just finished surgery; She has been moved to the ICU. From what we can tell we have repaired the damage, she will spend at least a week in the hospital, her recovery will be slow." The man gave us a sad smile before handing Holly Gail's chart. Holly's eyes scanned the report; I watched Holly's face waiting for an expression I could understand, anything to give me an idea of her real condition. "She coded again?" Holly asked, taking a deep breath before handing the chart back to him. "Considering the amount of blood she lost; we're surprised that she made it into the hospital to be honest. She is fighting for someone, I've never seen someone as determined as she is to stay alive, and she's made it through the thick of it." He nodded, handing the file to the nurse behind the desk.
"We can't let you into the ICU for a few hours though, she's being monitored closely." I stared at the man's nametag as he spoke, Gail had coded again, I had lost my sister 3 times. "Take this; I will page you when you can visit her." He handed Holly a pager with ICU printed on the side. "Thank you." Holly nodded, putting it in her pocket; I followed her back towards the group in the waiting room wordlessly.
"She's out of surgery and in the ICU, they say its still touch and go, they won't let us into her room for a few hours." Holly muttered, her gaze unfocused, I did notice that she avoided eye contact with Oliver, Andy, Dov, and Tracie though. "She has a collapsed lung, 2 broken ribs, bruising to her abdomen, the surgery corrected the damage from the stabbing, she coded 3 times before surgery was over." Holly let out a shaky breath before continuing. "When they let people in, it will only be 1 at a time; Steve should be first, Dov second." Holly chewed on her lip before walking towards the vending machine, her voice cracking.
HOLLY (30 Minutes after Gail left)
"HOLLY!" Bailey called as she let herself through the locked door. "HOLLY FEY STEWART DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!" Bailey slammed the door before she stomped into the living room; I had been sitting on the stairs since Gail walked out the door. "I'm not ignoring you." I nearly whispered from my perch on the stairs, I didn't have the strength to move all the way to our room after Gail had left. "Holly, why do you look as if your favorite game of thrown's character was killed off?" Bailey sat at the kitchen counter facing me, her eyes searching my face before examining the kitchen. "Where's Gail?"
I stared at Bailey, my brain still had not processed the events of the last hour, Gail had made my favorite dinner, bought my favorite wine, Gail took time off work to have dinner with me and I shut her out. I had fucked up royally, four weeks of me shutting myself off from the world and Gail had stayed, I had yelled at her, I stopped talking to her all together, and she still told me she loved me, she skill kissed my forehead and made an effort.
"Work, she's on nights." I muttered before standing up. "I'm not in the mood Bailey." I walked upstairs to our bedroom; I didn't need pity from Bailey right now. "Holly, you know why I'm here!" Bailey yelled from the kitchen, "and I'm not leaving until I have answers Doc!" Just when I needed to sort my thoughts, I had Tornado Bailey and her path of destruction to deal with. I stood in the doorway to our room, I hadn't slept in our bed for weeks, I had been sleeping on the couch in my office, reading the files from the safety deposit box repeatedly. The room felt foreign to me, a reminder of the time I had spent talking to Gail, the times we had made love in our bed, the times that we laid in silence just being near each other.
"Care to explain why Gail's at work and a perfectly cooked gigot d'agneau pleureur is plated, 2 plates and an open bottle of your favorite wines sitting on the counter untouched?" Bailey stood in my doorway with a bowl casually eating as she spoke. "For fuck sake Bailey leave!" I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. Gail's hoodie hung on the back of the door, a reminder that I had pushed her away, my hoodie used to hang there; she hadn't worn her own sweaters in almost a year. I pulled out my phone and clicked on her picture opening up the thread of texts she had sent me.
You Can Cuff Me Any Time: Thank you for dinner, I Love you XX
You Can Cuff Me Any Time: I washed the blankets in your office and bought you a new pillow. Our bed is more comfortable than the couch in your office.
You Can Cuff Me Any Time: I'm sorry I missed you this morning, I love you have a good day at work.
You Can Cuff Me Any Time: I have never known how to do gray; it's either black or white. Either you love with every fiber of your being or you don't. I love you with every ounce of my soul Holly, I don't want to know what it's like to live without you, please let me back into your heart.
The last message had been sent 5 minutes after she left for work, I felt my heart clench in my chest before I started crying. I stood up and grabbed Gail's hoodie and breathed it in, gunpowder and honey, the hoodie had captured her scent perfectly. "Hol." Bailey tapped on the door bringing me out of my thoughts. "Why are you here Bailey, and why won't you just leave me alone!" I asked, opening the door, I could not fight with her, and I couldn't fight with myself. "Hol what's happening?" Bailey asked before pulling me into her arms, concern etched into her face. "Don't!" I pulled back before walking past her and lying on Gail's side of the bed. "Please just leave Bailey." I held Gail's sweater to my chest, letting the smell of the sheets and her hoodie calm me down. Not that I had a right to feel calm, I'm the reason she doubted us, I had pushed her away.
"I can't, Doc." Bailey kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed behind me. "Wanna tell me happened to you and Gail?" Bailey pulled me into her arms as I stared out the window. I couldn't remember the last time I told Gail I loved her, the last time I had laid in her arms, or the last time I had kissed her. "I hate how easy you have it Bailey. Your mom gave you up at birth for honorable reasons, and you've met her, you have an ok relationship with her." I took a deep breath trying not to cry, I needed desperately to control my emotions. "I ended up with the shity story. My parents ran the cartel, I'm gay, and now I know every detail about Iris and Dominic Dawson, the people who names me Trinity." I sat up and pulled Gail's sweater on before lying back down.
"Yeah, tough life." Bailey laughed staring back at me, her eyes showing no sympathy for my current situation. "You found your family Hol, Shannon and Jason Stewart they're your parents, not Iris and Dominic Dawson. You went to the best medical schools on the continent, you're on a path to run the department in forensics, and you have found the love of your life. Holly blood doesn't define you; sure, they say blood is thicker than water, But Holly we have all bled for each other. Therefore, I'm sure that sayings about us, the bumps and bruises, our scraped knees, and the battle scars we have from our fights. Holly, Mom may not have given birth to you, Holly Stewart is a product of the labor of her love though. Those people are names on paper, the reason that you came into all of our lives, and I'm thankful for them, I have the best sister anyone could ask for thanks to them." Baily smiled and I started crying, unable to control my emotions any longer. "Hol, I'm sorry, I didn't say that to make you cry." Bailey pulled me into her arms and held me as I let go of every ounce of frustration and fear I had been bottling up for weeks.
"Come on, out of bed, we're not doing this!" Bailey sat up and pulled me into a sitting position once my tears had slowed down. "What?" I sniffled as I watched her climb out of bed and walk into my closet. "We're moving to the kitchen and I'm finding the expensive stuff Blondie hides, and I'm going to make sure you are drunk enough to talk this through!" Bailey came out of the closet in a pair of my sweats and pulled me out of bed and down the stairs.
"I fucked up B." I let her walk into the kitchen while I sat on the couch, every nerve in my body felt raw and exposed. "How did you fuck up?" Bailey called from the kitchen her voiced muffled with her head stuck in a cabinet. "I became obsessed with understanding." I muttered, staring at my reflection in the TV screen, I didn't recognize the woman staring back at me.
"Spill Doc!" Baily handed me a beer and a shot glass filled with whiskey. "I'm not drunk enough." I downed the shot and held the glass up to her. "Whelp, lets fix that." Bailey refilled my glass and handed it back to me, I downed the shot and cringed, I had never been a Whiskey drinker, I could feel it helping though, slowly warming my blood. My walls started to dissolve as the liquor warmed my system, I felt fuzzy and content.
"I'm guessing that by your sudden appearance in my home that mom and dad explained their trip here a few weeks ago?" I asked after my sixth shot, my filter had disappeared. "Yeah." Bailey nodded settling on the couch, pulling the blanket over her lap. "So I picked up the files." I shook my head before peering up at her, my tongue felt heavy and swollen already. "I became obsessed with them; I've read them 100 times at least, with every detail I caved farther into myself." I reached for my phone and tried to turn it on, the black screen stared back at me. "Can you plug this in, it's dead." I handed her my phone and reached for my beer.
"Are we talking Holly's studying don't mess with her, or Holly's first girlfriend broke up with her and she'll punch you shut down?" Bailey asked to set my phone on the table behind her before turning back to me. "A worse version of the two combined." I set my beer down no longer interested in the alcohol. "This month has been an out of body experience, I could see how I treated Gail, how I pushed her away, no matter how loud I screamed or how hard I fought, I couldn't change my actions." I shook my head recalling the stupid fights I had tried to start, seeing her hurt eyes staring back at me. Gail had been nothing but supportive and I had only pushed her farther away.
"When Gail and I started dating we have issues, Gail didn't know how to open up, her defense mechanism equated to pushing people away or running away. I asked her to let me in, to talk to me before pushing me away and for a year, it's been working. 4 weeks ago I did exactly what I asked her to stop doing." I laid back on the couch waiting for the inevitable; you're stupid Holly that generally left Baileys lips when we had conversations regarding my past relationships.
"Holly you're human. It's not as if you shut down because an article you wrote didn't land the cover of science weekly. You had a bomb dropped in your lap and no one expects you to be ok with that, Relationships boil down to time and work. When you love someone it requires work, Gail's won't give up on you, and if you don't start trying you may lose her though." Bailey shrugged before taking another shot. "When did you grow up?" I asked before moving to lie on the floor in front of the couch, my head felt fuzzy and the room had started to spin. "I took the opportunity to be the favorite, especially since the golden girl stopped picking up her phone." Bailey laughed before lying on the couch, kicking a pillow towards my face.
"Give me my phone?" I held out my hand to her and took off my glasses, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "it's only charged 15%" Bailey muttered, holding it out, I reached for it 3 times before making contact with my phone, I didn't know if my triple vision had been caused by the alcohol or my lack of spectacles. "I need to text Gail." I laughed as I typed in my password and selected Gail's icon. "I love her." I grinned to myself as I typed out the only message my drunken brain could think of.
Dr. Hot stuff: I love you Gail Peck.
I hit send and started falling asleep holding my phone. I would wake up early in the morning and prepare breakfast for her, we would have a proper conversation and I would beg for forgiveness if I needed to. "Night bailey." I muttered as I let my eyes slip closed, Gail's contact photo spurring on happy dreams, dreams of Gail's smile and her laugh, the memories that I cherished.
7:45 AM
"HOLLY! HOLLY ARE YOU HERE!" I recognized the voice currently yelling through my door to be Tracie's. "B. make it stop." I groaned, holding my head, hangovers sucked. "HOLLY!" Tracie called again and I slowly sat up, the banging in my head substantially more tolerable than I previously expected. "Hang on." I called flinching at the sound of my own voice, my phone had died and Baily must have left.
Had an early shift call you later. B.
The note had been taped to my hand. "Trace what's up?" I opened the door and tried to pull the tape off my arm leaving the hair behind. "Why aren't you answering your phone?" Tracie barked her eyes worried and angry. "It died last night." I rubbed my eyes, the last month had been testing my patients with Tracie, I knew that Gail trusted her enough to express our relationship with her. By the way she had been treating me, I was positive she had been clued in on my recent behavior.
"Holly, I need you to listen ok." Tracie searched my eyes and I felt the blood drain from my face. "Tracie, what." I gulped; all of the air seemed to disappear. "Why….what….Tracie." I felt my knees give out as I fell to the floor. "Hol you need to come with me, I'll explain in the car, ok." Tracie helped me off the floor and grabbed my keys before pulling me outside of my flat towards the elevator. The ride to the lobby and the walk to the squad car seemed to last for hours, I felt every second as a physical punch to the gut, and every minute felt as if days had passed.
"This morning at 5:30 after shift Dov and Gail were assaulted in the parking lot of the King Street diner, Gail's lost a lot of blood and is in surgery, we are waiting on word, they said it's too soon to tell." Tracie pulled away from the curb, her grip on the steering wheel tightening. I felt numb, completely empty. "Hey." Tracie pulled over quickly, the car nearly screeching to a halt. "Holly you need to breathe ok, Gail will fight her way through this, you need to breathe though." Tracie grabbed my face and made me look at her; I heard her words but my body had no reaction. "She called you twice this morning." Tracie watched me, her eyes searching my face. "My phone, I needed to text her last night and it died, I had been drinking." I stared at her; I felt my heart rate slowing down, not in a calming way, in the way that your hearts slows before it completely stops.
"You're her medical proxy, 15's in the ER waiting for news, we don't know how long the surgery will last." Tracie put the car back into drive and pulled into traffic. "Did they just take her in?" I asked staring at the time surgery's lasted hours. "About an hour and a half ago." Tracie nodded and I cringed, 2 hours, and my phone died. "Trace." I gasped and she just nodded and kept driving. "We've all been calling Holly; we were all worried that you may have been in an accident on the way to the hospital." Tracie kept talking, I could only hear the blood in my ears, and the air that lacked nutrients as I greedily sucked it in.
When we finally made it into the hospital, Steve had collapsed into his seat in tears. I felt my heart drop and my mind ran through every worst-case scenario. I don't remember running up to Steve or a majority of the doctor's description of Gail's injuries, all I remember is him asking me if I wanted to enact Gail's standing DNR, she had coded twice on the table already.
GAIL
My entire shift had been spent checking my phone, hoping that maybe Holly would respond to my text, that maybe she would give me some sense of hope to hold onto. After closing the door and walking to my car, I knew that I needed to tell Holly anything, to let her know that I wasn't giving up on us. My last conversation with Oliver came to mind, that I've never understood the concept of the color gray, my entire life existed as black and white. My love for Holly had always been clear; I never wondered if it maybe could be love, I just knew that I loved her.
You Can Cuff Me Any Time: I have never known how to do gray; it's either black or white. Either you love with every fiber of your being or you don't. I love you with every ounce of my soul Holly, I don't want to know what it's like to live without you, please let me back into your heart.
I had reread the message for the millionth time, trying to will her to respond. The words were true, I refused to let her go without a fight, we had been through to much together for this to simply end. Maybe a few days apart, a few days without me trying to reach out to her would help, maybe needing time meant she just needed to be away from me for a while.
11 PM
"What's up with you tonight, you haven't made a single comment about my music or my singing." Dov asked as we drove aimlessly through the quiet streets of downtown. "Hmm?" I turned and stared at him, lost in my own thoughts, trying to understand Holly's lack of an answer. "You seem off tonight, lost." Dov shrugged and pulled to the side of the street and put the cruiser into park. "I'm going to grab coffee, can I grab you anything?" he asked unbuckling his seatbelt, his eyes searching the side of my face. "No thanks." I stared out the window towards the end of the street; my world had come to a grinding halt in the matter of moments tonight. My last attempt to make Holly smile had backfired in the worst possible way.
In frustration, I had voiced my fears; I had asked the question that had weighed on my mind for weeks. A question that left me wondering if our relationship had taken the final turn towards heartbreak. I had never felt this lost before, this out of control. I just need time Gail, echoed in my thoughts, I had told her that I loved her and she told me to have a nice night. I had never been in this position before, I had never loved this much and cared this deeply, and right now I felt as if my world had unraveled.
2 AM
"How did your dinner go?" Dov asked, attempting to start another conversation. "It didn't." I muttered, staring at my phone; I had been obsessively checking it every 5 minutes all night. "Why not?" Dov glanced over at me before turning back towards the station; our route had been set to a few miles from 15, basic patrol. "She had already eaten, I should have asked before assuming that she would be hungry." I shrugged and put my phone back into my pocket, slowly coming to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be receiving an answer.
"Can I stay in my room for a few days?" I asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, I knew that Dov wanted to ask about the dinner , he also knew that I would open up to him in my own time, prying never equated to success. "Of course Gail." He peered at me with an apologetic gaze, an expression I had seen repeatedly after Nick and Chris. It meant that he cared and that he would be there when I felt like talking. "Holly might want to break up with me, the last few weeks she's completely shut me out and every time I try to learn why, I'm met with silence." I chewed on my lip and turned away from him, afraid that I might start crying again. "I asked her if we were breaking up tonight and she told me that she needed time." I tried to swallow the tears and the pain in my heart. Dov didn't try to keep the conversation going; he just kept driving, the silence, giving me time to plan my next move.
5 AM
"Gail!" Dov called into the locker room before walking in. "Hey, um, do you maybe want breakfast, you can stay at the apartment today too, we have clean sheets and stuff?" Dov asked shoving his hands in his pockets. Somehow, I had become friends with Dov over the years; he became part of my family, a brother that I liked more than Steve some days. "Yeah that sounds ok, I just need to change." I nodded and walked to my locker. I needed time with my friends right now; I had been avoiding nearly everyone outside of work all month.
Andy and Tracie had cornered me the day after Holly laid into me about my shoes and my keys, forcing me to have lunch with them and to catch up. Other than that, I had been finishing work and heading home hoping to catch Holly, to have a conversation, to reconcile. "I'll meet you at your car!" Dov called and left the room. The morning shift had started gathering, people bustling around the station preparing for their workday while mine had ended. Over the last few weeks, I had become a ghost, or so Oliver had told me over coffee the other night. I had abandoned my Peck shield of ice and had learned to avoid nearly every person I worked with. According to Oliver, I had lost my shine and my spirit; I had been replaced by a dull impersonation of myself.
5:20 AM
"OH MY GOD!" Dov gasped as we pulled into the parking lot of the diner. "To what do we owe that Gail Peck Smile!?" He laughed before turning to me; my eyes wouldn't leave my phone screen. Holly's contact picture had appeared for the first time in weeks, a simple text that said I Love You Gail Peck. My heart rate picked up and I couldn't hide the smile that appeared on my lips. "Um, I'll meet you inside in a few; I need to make a call." I grinned and clicked the call icon next to her picture; maybe I could hear her say it aloud. I put the phone to my ear and stepped out of the car. "No answer." I pouted and hit the call button again, if she didn't answer this time I would leave a voice mail, it had been an hour since the text came in, she had probably fallen asleep.
"HEY BLONDIE!?" I heard a deep male voice yell, as I looked up the world slowed down. I saw a group of men in their 20's rush towards me, all wearing dark hoodies and jeans, running in slow motion. It didn't hurt at first; I can't say I felt anything until I hit the floor though, the gravel from the parking lot dug into my palm as I tried to stand back up. "Gail!" Dov called, I couldn't see him though, I could only focus on the large blood stained blade that hit me in my stomach. I felt it that time, the sharp pain of my skin splitting open, I felt every inch of it as it cut through me.
Instinct caused me to start kicking and punching, doing my best to fight off the attack, to defend myself. I heard the boot come in contact with my hip, the dull thud as I slumped back against the passenger door of my car. "I'M CALLING THE COPS!" someone yelled, they sounded as if they were in a tunnel far away. My hands felt warm and wet, the rest of my body felt ice cold. The knife cut threw me again and my vision went blurry, nothing had a defined edge or shape. "GAIL!" I heard Dov yell as I searched around me for my phone, quickly putting it to my ear then I heard her voice. "You have reached the voicemail box of Dr. Holly Stewart, I'm unable to come to the phone right now, please leave a message and I will call you back." I felt the phone slipping from my fingers they felt sticky and gross. "GAIL!" Dov yelled, rushing towards me, blood dripping from his face as he came in and out of focus. "DAMMIT GAIL! STAY WITH ME!" Dov yelled again as the blurry mess my vision had turned into, turned black. "I called Holly." I muttered before falling asleep, no longer able to support my own weight.
"Gail, come on Gail stay with us!" My eyes opened to the too bright lights overhead. "Look at those eyes, keep them open for me." An unfamiliar male voice called as I fell back asleep. "Officer Peck, I need you to keep your eyes open, we're almost there but you need to stay awake!" The voice repeated, people who woke you up without coffee sucked, did they know anything. "Do you remember what happened?" The voice asked as I tried to focus on its location, everything around me had an annoying white halo. The voice didn't belong to a face or a body, not one that I could find as I searched for it. "She said she loved me." I breathed and closed my eyes, unable to understand why I had been in the white room to begin with, why were my covers missing, and why didn't they have coffee.