Hi, people! Thanks for the reviews! Here's the chapter.
Chapter 9
"God, I hate these flipping chores," mumbled TenTen, reining in a huge white dog. It yanked against its leash, taking her with it. "Ack! Halt! Stop! How the hell do I speak dog?"
"You can't unless you're an Inuzuka, TenTen," answered Naruto, handling three dogs, "I thought this would be easy, but they left out one detail: these are Inuzuka dogs." He likewise yanked on their leashes, only to be dragged across the ground.
"Do not pull on their leashes," advised Neji, "They will pull against you if you do."
"Oh, right. The great genius-teme knows everything," said Naruto sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"Yet my dogs haven't tried to escape yet, Uzumaki-san," replied Neji dryly. He was handling the most out of the three of them: four dogs the size of small horses. Their tongues hung out of their mouth, and their tails were wagging as they plodded along.
"Shut up, teme." TenTen, however, looked at Neji curiously.
"Really?"
Neji nodded. "Try to walk in front of them. It makes things easier. When they pull against you, do not pull back." One of the dogs strained against its leash, and Neji snapped his head toward it. "Heel!" The dog stopped and shamefully hung its head as it lumbered back behind Neji. He looked back at TenTen. "That's what you do."
"B-but I've been doing that!" protested TenTen.
"Have you been saying it with authority?"
"Well, no…"
"Then that's your problem."
Naruto butted in. "So even the realm of knowing how to walk the damn dog isn't out of your reach, huh, teme?" All three dogs strained, and he yanked back, only for them to take off and drag him. "Stop, you stupid dogs! I swear, these guys are nearly as stupid as Kiba!"
Neji shook his head exasperatedly. TenTen grinned as Naruto hit a tree trunk. "That's gotta hurt," she said, "And thanks, Neji." She walked to the front of her dogs, and the two continued after a cursing Naruto creating multiple clones to hold back his dogs. They glanced back. Guy was behind them, an amused grin spreading across his face as he watched the blonde.
"Should we help Uzumaki-san, sensei?" asked Neji reluctantly. The Jonin shook his head; Naruto would learn eventually. The three caught up to Naruto, still cursing but holding back the dogs now, and he glared at Neji.
"I hate to ask, but what the hell did you say to make them behave, teme?" said Naruto, getting over his pride. A muscle in his forehead twitched, though. It wasn't easy.
Neji smirked. "Heel, but say it in an authoritative voice or you'll be going on another ride across the ground." Naruto resisted the urge to smack the smirk off Neji's face, and turned back to his own dogs. He stepped out in front of them, and the four continued in relative peace, one of them calling "Heel!" sporadically. Finally, they had made their rounds and returned back to the Inuzuka estate.
A lady with short, spiky brown hair and feral eyes was waiting for them. She grinned lopsidedly as she saw the battered Naruto. "Have fun, pup?" she asked. He glared at her. "What? No fun?"
"Oh, shut up, lady," replied Naruto irritably, handing over his dogs' leashes.
A deep, gruff voice berated him. "I'd be careful to who you talk to, pup." The blonde turned, a retort ready, but it died once he saw the speaker. A gigantic wolfish dog with black fur and a white underside stood off in an alley, his one eye, as the other was covered with an eyepatch, staring intensely at Naruto. "What's wrong, pup? Never seen a talking dog?"
Naruto's mouth opened and closed several times in confusion. After a period of silence, "What kind of question is that!?"
"What kind of brat talks to the pack leader of the Inuzuka like that?" countered the dog, padding out of the alley and next to the lady, who patted his head.
"What kind of dog-wait, what? Pack leader?" Naruto glanced at the lady, who gave a feral grin.
"That's right, pup," she said, jerking toward herself with a thumb, "I'm Tsume Inuzuka, Inuzuka pack leader. Got a problem with it?"
"Well, actually yeah!" Neji facepalmed himself. Naruto sometimes didn't know when to quit. "You didn't say we were walking Inuzuka dogs! That's kinda a big deal! Not some average guy can walk these damn dogs!"
"Watch your tongue, brat, or I might just have it for dinner," growled the dog, his hair rising.
"It's alright, Kuromaru. You hear the same from Kiba-kun, right?" said Tsume, stroking his fur. Kuromaru narrowed his eye at Naruto and growled again, but didn't argue. Only one part had really stuck with Naruto.
"Wait…Kiba? How do you know Kiba?"
She glanced at him. "He's my pup."
"Your son?" repeated Naruto incredulously. He studied Tsume closer, and then nodded. "I can see the resemblance. The same eyes that will forever creep me out." She smiled.
"How do you know Kiba-kun, then?" she asked.
"I was in his class."
"Was?"
"I graduated early."
"Good. A thirteen-year old should have by that time."
"Lady, I'm eleven," corrected Naruto flatly. Sometimes it was really annoying when people guessed his age way off; at least they were guessing older instead of younger.
"Close enough." Guy cleared his throat, catching Tsume's attention. "Yeah, Guy?"
"The report, Tsume-san?" he asked.
"Oh, here." She extracted a folded piece of paper from her back paper and handed it to Guy. "Signed and everything. Just gotta return it to Hokage-sama."
"Thank you very much, Tsume-san."
"Like hell," mumbled Naruto.
"Alright, brat! That's it for the disrespect!" roared Kuromaru, lunging at Naruto. The blonde froze, not quite comprehending the huge beast of a dog sailing toward him. He tensed his muscles but inwardly knew that the dog was coming too fast, he too slow. 'Shi-!'
"Kuromaru! Back down!" barked Tsume. Kuromaru snapped his mouth shut and sailed past Naruto harmlessly. As he landed, he turned to face her, eying her questioningly. "It's alright. I don't mind a little backtalk." She grinned at the blonde, exposing her large canines. "As long as they know who's the alpha here."
Naruto looked like he was about to respond, but TenTen put a hand over his mouth. She answered for him, "He says thanks for saving him, right, Naruto?" His face conveyed that wasn't even close to what he would say, and TenTen glared at him. Naruto petulantly turned his head to the side, and TenTen pulled back her hand.
"That'll be all for today, Tsume-san," said Guy, bowing. Team 9 also bowed, Naruto unwillingly as TenTen pulled him down by the ear. Tsume nodded respectfully toward Guy, and the two disappeared into the Inuzuka compound, Kuromaru sending the blonde murderous looks over his furry shoulder.
The others looked at Naruto. Neji, surprisingly, was the first to speak. "Uzumaki-san, how is it that you can infuriate someone you've only known for an entire minute?" The blonde grinned and scratched the back of head sheepishly.
"I don't know. It's a gift."
Neji snorted. "Such a marvelous gift it is. You nearly died."
"Hey, that dog-wolf-thing needs to learn how to relax, teme!"
"Or you could learn how to hold your tongue, or you might just lose it to someone, Uzumaki-san. And for your information, Kuromaru-san is a ninken, not some mutant of a canine."
"Shut up, teme!"
"I would if you were correct, but you always make mistakes."
TenTen cut in at this point, her annoyance evident. "Look here, boys, don't get your panties in bunch over something stupid and we could get this mission over with!"
In front of everyone, the words that left Naruto's mouth were, "TenTen, why the heck do you have to join in and make this a threesome?" Silence pervaded among the group as his words hit them. Naruto, realizing what he just said, clamped a hand over his mouth and looked fearfully at the other two. TenTen and Neji both had bright red blushes, and they exchanged a glance before nodding.
"Uzumaki-san…" began Neji coldly, the veins around his eyes popping out.
"You are going to die, my friend!" finished TenTen, pulling out her hammer. Naruto squeaked before taking off down the street, TenTen and Neji in hot pursuit. "Come back here, BAKA!"
"Gotta catch me first!" Guy put a hand to his forehead and shook his head. 'Wonder when these three are going to murder each other.' He shunshinned away, intending Naruto's skin.
After narrowly saving Naruto from a slow and painful death and restraining a livid TenTen, Guy exhaled in relief. Neji had halted as soon as he had sensed Guy, and the Hyuuga came up behind them. TenTen was still snorting hostilely in Naruto's direction, who was tucked behind a tree trunk, occasionally poking his head out. Guy rubbed his temples. "Are we ready to turn in the mission?" he asked, looking between all of them.
They nodded uncertainly, Naruto coming from behind his tree. In an uneasy trot, the three made their way to the Hokage Tower. By the time they arrived, TenTen's anger had subsided, but she still threatened Naruto with a painful death if he said anything like that again.
In Mission Report, a familiar face greeted Naruto. "Iruka-sensei! I thought you had to teach!" exclaimed Naruto happily. The scar-faced man smiled and scratched his nose self-consciously.
"Well, I thought it might be a change of pace to do this for today, and then go back to the Academy tomorrow," he answered.
The blonde smirked. "So you skipped out?"
"What-no!"
"Uh-huh. You can't stand 'em sometimes, can you?"
"Hey, it's been better with you graduating!"
Naruto replied in mock astonishment, "Aw, Kiba hasn't been causing enough trouble? Darn, thought I trained him better than that."
Iruka snorted, "As if he needs training with the clan he has."
"Whose dogs nearly murdered me," added Naruto.
TenTen jumped in, "Whose owner you pissed off."
"Hey, I pissed off the dog, not the lady."
"Either way-,"
"You calling Tsume-san a dog, TenTen?"
"No, you baka-,"
"ALRIGHT," thundered Guy, making them straighten and face forward. He turned to the Hokage, who was amused by the continual bickering of Team 9. "Hokage-sama, the mission's complete." Guy handed over the same paper Tsume had given him, and bowed. The Hokage quickly scanned the document and nodded.
"All seems to be in order. Will that be all, Guy?"
The Jonin hesitated. He wanted to get another C-rank, but it had been just three weeks since their first one. Not that he thought they couldn't handle it physically, but more importantly emotionally. The last one…well, it was been a fiasco. "Let me consult my team first." The old man nodded, and picked up a stack of papers to start on the tasking and tedious job of paperwork.
Guy turned to his team. Naruto was the first to speak. "Whatcha need to talk about, Guy-sensei?"
Guy searched around for the words that could properly phrase this. "Well," he started, "I was wondering if…would you three like to go on another C-rank mission? And please don't be hasty." Naruto's eyebrows rose in surprise, and he glanced at TenTen, who looked slightly uncomfortable.
Neji, after a moment, piped up, "Is this wise, sensei?"
"It's been three weeks, long enough for experienced ninja, but that's why I'm asking: has it been enough time?" The three traded looks, and eventually they nodded, even TenTen.
"We'll be fine, sensei," said Naruto confidently, TenTen smiling and twirling a kunai by its end ring. Guy beamed inwardly. 'This is a really promising team, even if they don't act like it sometimes.' He turned back to the Hokage.
"Hokage-sama," said Guy, the old man peering at over the papers in his hand, "We've made a decision."
"And?"
"Yes, we would like to register for a C-rank."
The Hokage nodded sagely. "Wondering when that was going to happen. You've got twenty-five Ds on record, just ahead of Team 6 with twenty-three." He stroked his chin. "Yes, a good record for a single-team C-rank." He flipped through a booklet, "Let's see…an escort, a bandit clearing, patrol…"
"Hey, sensei, take the escort!" suggested Naruto.
"Naruto, don't interrupt the Hokage!" scolded Iruka.
"It's alright, Iruka," assured the old man. He looked over at Guy. "Will you take the escort?"
"If that's what my team wants," replied Guy, smiling amusedly. The Hokage peered through his glasses as he withdrew a paper and handed it to Guy, who signed it. "The client, Hokage-sama?"
He motioned to a Chunin near a door leading off to the side, and he opened it. A high-pitched, woman-like voice reached their ears, "Oh, has my mission been chosen already?" A fat man waddled into the room, the sash on his kimono close to ripping. "Oh, these are my glorious guards?" he inquired, his voice already starting to grate on everyone's nerves. The man twiddled with a mustache that curled at both ends as he studied the group.
Naruto resisted staring at the man. 'That voice…I swear, I don't know if he's fruity or what. I'm not getting near him either damn way. That voice creeps me out too much.' The man's piggy eyes settled on him, and he gazed steadily back. "May I ask your name, sir?" asked Naruto politely.
"Oh, and so polite too," squealed the man, "I am Gorba Misogura, famous merchant of the Land of Merchants. You have heard of me, perhaps?" Dead silence filled the room as Team 9 regarded him awkwardly. Gorba visibly deflated. "Aw, my reputation does not precede me." He brightened up again. "But it will!"
Neji's fingers twitched. 'The man is lucky that I have a high tolerance for stupidity.' The man clapped his hands together eagerly, regaining Neji's attention. "Yes, now," began Gorba, "We are to meet at the village gate at noon! I need to travel back to the Land of Merchants, which is a few days travel from here!"
Naruto inwardly thought, 'Maybe for you, lardo.'
Guy finished for the merchant, "So pack for a few days. And TenTen, don't be late again."
"I wasn't late!"
"Early is on-time, on-time is late," he said vaguely, irking TenTen further. "See you at noon, Team 9." He shunshinned off, leaving Gorba and Team 9 alone.
Gorba waved as he wobbled out the door. "Ta-ta!" After he left, Team 9 stood there for an entire minute, not entirely processing the event. They looked at each other confusedly, all thinking the same thing: We. Are. Screwed…Majorly. They glanced at the clock. Eleven-thirty.
"Whelp, better get going!" said Naruto, scrambling out the door.
"Hey, wait!" ordered TenTen, chasing him. Neji shook his head, and closed the door behind him as he, too, exited.
Neji slid open the door to his house, and closed it softly not to wake his mother. "It's alright, Neji-kun," came his mother's voice faintly, "I'm not asleep." Neji smiled softly and kneeled beside her. He took her hand.
"Do you need anything, Kaa-san?" he asked. Kinami smiled and squeezed his hand weakly.
"No, not now, and there's no need for you to worry. There's always someone here for me."
"I always worry, especially now that you're sick. Has the doctor said anything?"
Kinami hesitated for a fraction of a second, but caught herself. "No, he said I just need good rest. A very long, deep rest."
"Then you should get it, Kaa-san," said Neji, not noticing her pause, "I'm going on a mission that should last around a week. That should give you plenty of possibilities to get some sleep." He kissed her on the forehead. "I need to pack a few things before I go." He padded into his room, Kinami's eyes following him in despair.
She lay there plagued by indecision. 'Should I tell him? Why shouldn't I? Like Hiashi-sama said, I should spare him the pain now, not later.' A thought countered it. 'But what about his mission? If I tell him, he'll want to stay and that will…' She gazed at the darkness that was the ceiling. For the past week, her sensitivity to light had heightened, and the house was kept dark. The squeak of the floor alerted her to Neji, and she moved her head to look at him.
Neji kneeled beside her again. "I'm going, Kaa-san. Are you sure you don't need anything?" She smiled, not trusting her voice to not break. He dipped his head. "I'll be going then." He rose and opened the door.
Before he left, however, his mother called out, "Neji-kun, wait."
He turned. "Yes, Kaa-san?"
She sat up slightly, taking all of the little strength she had. "I want to tell you something." He closed the door and waited expectantly. "I…I…I," she quieted, the desire to tell him shriveling up. "I just wanted to say I love you."
Neji smiled kindly. "I love you too, Kaa-san." He slid the door open and stepped out, closing it behind him. As the light from outside disappeared, guilt flooded Kinami. 'I really am a terrible mother.'
TenTen rushed inside her parent's shop. "Hi, Tou-san!"
"Hey, whatcha doing here so early?" shouted Misuro, nearly stabbing a customer as he pointed a ninjato at her.
"Got a mission, need to pack," she replied quickly, taking the stairs to the apartment three steps at a time. She flew past Yuki, who was searching for something in the kitchen. "Hi, Kaa-san!" TenTen ducked into her room and hastily threw her pack onto her bed. "Let's see, shirt, shorts, underwear…"
"TenTen-chan?" said Yuki, poking her head inside TenTen's room.
"Yeah, Kaa-san?" replied TenTen without turning her head.
"Misuro said something about a mission. Maybe you could tell me more?" TenTen threw in several more items before answering.
"Well, we got a mission today, and I'll be away for three or four days or maybe even a week. Who knows?" She searched under her bed and pulled out a kunai and a shuriken. "Huh, that's interesting, didn't know these were under there."
"A mission?" repeated Yuki concernedly. TenTen turned to smile.
"It's okay, Kaa-san. We talked about it as a team," she reassured, quickly reading a few scrolls before stuffing them into her pack.
"But the last one…" Yuki trailed off, and TenTen's expression softened.
"I'll be alright. I've got my team." TenTen turned back to her pack and mentally checked off everything she had. Yuki still looked uncomfortable when TenTen finally shouldered the pack. She noticed. "I'll be fine, Kaa-san. You should stop worrying so much." Her mother nodded, and fiddled with the straps on her daughter's pack.
"I always worry. All parents worry. A bad one wouldn't." She bent down and kissed TenTen's forehead. "Good luck." TenTen grinned as she raced out the door and down the stairs. Yuki smiled softly as she closed the door. The last thing she saw was the small wooden bird, every detail etched onto it roughly. Yuki bent her head in a prayer for her daughter's safety. 'Please, let her be protected from all harm.'
At about ten minutes to noon, Naruto arrived at the village gate, all of his larger supplies sealed into scrolls. No one else was there but the two Chunin on perpetual guard duty, so he stood just to the right of the gate, near the guardhouse. 'They should be here in minute or two, Guy any second.'
"Hey, kid, who ya waiting for?" asked one of the Chunin, brown hair covering his right eye.
"My sensei. Me and my team have a mission, and we're supposed the meet here at noon."
"Oh. That's nice. What's your name, kid?"
"Naruto Uzumaki."
The other Chunin, who had a bandage going across his face and just covering the bridge of his nose, leaned forward to get a good look at the blonde. "Uzumaki?" he repeated, "Hey, I know that! You were the kid that painted the Academy pink!" The man grinned lopsidedly. "Man, the look on Iruka's face was priceless!" He laughed, falling back into his chair.
"Kotetsu!" admonished the other, "That was a fiasco! We had to wash the entire Academy off!"
"It was still funnier than hell, Izumo."
Izumo snorted disbelievingly. "It wasn't worth it. And we made it worse because we laughed at him!"
"You just need to learn how to relax, my friend," said Kotetsu, leaning his chair back.
"I am relaxed!"
"Then you obviously need something for that." Naruto smiled amusedly as he listened. This was probably how he and TenTen sounded most of the time. The two men were still squabbling when Guy arrived. In the presence of a higher rank, the two Chunin shut up and straightened.
"Yes, ah, nothing to report, Guy-san, sir!" stated Izumo, saluting rigidly. Kotetsu saluted sloppily, which earned him other scolding from Izumo. Guy shook his head and acknowledged Naruto with a nod.
"Seen any of the others?" asked Guy. The blonde shook his head, and the Jonin nodded. "Probably be here in a minute or two." Shortly after, Neji walked by the guardhouse and eyed the two still-squabbling Chunins. He glanced at Naruto, who shrugged. TenTen arrived a minute after Neji, giggling at the two, Izumo choking Kotetsu now.
"Where's the client?" asked Naruto, checking the sun's position. Guy shook his head, not knowing either. It had to be close to noon by now. "Well, he better get here fast. I hate waiting."
"I hate it too," mumbled TenTen, kicking a rock. Neji shrugged; he could deal with it. The sun overhead slowly made its passage westward, and Team 9 waited impatiently after an hour. TenTen was beside herself. "Gah! That bastard is late! Way beyond late! He'll probably late to his own funeral!"
Guy smiled inwardly. There was only one person who could be THAT late. TenTen stamped a foot angrily and turned to Naruto, who was sitting against the wall studying his fuinjutsu. "What do you think of this, Naruto?"
The blonde raised his eyes. "I think it's plain ridiculous, but unfortunately you can't change the fact that the guy's late. I want to choke him too, but you can't kill the client, no matter how deserving of it they are." He returned his attention to the book in his lap, leaving TenTen even more annoyed.
Finally, around two hours later, Gorba waddled up to them. "Hi! I ran few quick errands and-oops-time got away from me! I'm so sorry." The entire team sweatdropped. That was his excuse? Even Guy had heard better ones from Kakashi. "Are we ready to go?" asked Gorba. The team nodded, lamenting their luck on the inside.
They arranged themselves, Naruto and Guy at the forefront, Gorba in the center, and Neji and TenTen in the back. Guy turned back, and, seeing that they were ready, asked the merchant, "How fast can you go, Gorba-san?"
The man puffed up his chest, accentuating his flabbiness. "I can keep up with the fittest of men in my land! Nothing can stand in my way!" Guy had to suppress a laugh. The Land of Merchants was notorious for its unfit men and ninja; to brag that you were the fittest of them was not brag at all.
"It's okay," he said, keeping a grin off his face, "We'll go at a nice, steady pace." He glanced at his Genin, conveying that they would have go incredibly slow to match Gorba. Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Great. If this guy was actually in decent condition, we'd been there in two days and back in one.' They set out at a leisurely pace, at least for the ninja; Gorba was hustling as fast as his stubby legs could carry him.
Two hours later, and the group had barely covered ten miles. Gorba was huffing and puffing, his face red. Naruto was becoming very irritated by now. 'I swear, my clones could pick him up and run faster than him.' The thought gave him pause, and he looked over to Gorba. 'Hmm, wonder how much he weighs. Two-fifty?'
"Gorba-san," said Naruto, halting along with the rest of the group, "Are you tired?" The man hunched over as they stopped and nodded, panting too much to answer. "I could make something that could carry you the rest of the way," he suggested. Gorba looked at him, eyebrows raised, and slowly straightened.
"That," he said, "would be so preferable." Naruto smiled and created five clones. Gorba eyed them warily, but exhaled in relief when one transformed into a palanquin. "Ah! I have plenty of these back in the Land of Merchants! It's just like being at home." He stepped into the palanquin, and a human-like groan was heard. "Oh, was that the wood?"
"Yessir, but it'll hold," said Naruto, glaring at it. Gorba settled into the seat, and the four clones picked it up, faces showing strain. "C'mon, guys," admonished Naruto, "you're stronger than that." All the clones scowled at him, wanting him to take the damn thing for a minute. The original smiled jokingly, and turned to face his team. "I believe we're ready to go?" They all grinned except for Neji, who nodded appreciatively. "Then let's go!"
"Whee!" squealed Gorba as the group took off at a steady jog much faster than their previous walk. After three hours, the clones holding the palanquin were ready to give out, and Naruto quickly ordered them to stop. The clones slowly lowered their load, and then collapsed. "Aw, is the ride over?" asked Gorba blonde shook his head and made four more clones as he dispelled the others. With a sigh, they took up the palanquin, and the group restarted their journey.
Neji quietly scanned the immediate area with his Byakugan. The only things he had seen were animals, mostly deer or rabbits, and the boredom was creating a monotone buzz in his head. 'I never thought I would wish for an attack. Something to liven things up.' Guy was at the front, growing more and more anxious.
'Something's going to happen. I can feel it,' thought Guy, tensing. A rustle caused him to hastily withdraw a kunai and throw it at the source. A small fawn burst from the bush, and froze at the sight of them. Guy relaxed. 'Just a deer.' The fawn quivered for a second, and then took off back into the bush. "You okay, sensei?" asked Naruto, noticing his reaction
"Yeah, just my imagination," replied Guy.
"Either that or you hate deer."
Neji rolled his eyes at the terrible joke, but then noticed something streaking in from his Byakugan's periphery.
"Arrows! Everyone, move!" he shouted, jumping to the right, as did the rest. The palanquin was left stranded, but the clones took quick defense. They jumped atop of it and quickly flew through a set of handsigns.
"Wind Style: Great Breakthrough!" A gust of wind erupted from around them, pushing all the arrows off-course and into surrounding trees. A battle cry broke through the roar of the wind, and eleven bandits rushed from the forest, armed to the teeth.
"Let's get'em!" shouted one, leading the charge.
"You deal with the bandits!" shouted Guy, "I'll take care of the archers!" He raced past the bandits, some of which turned.
"Hey, come back bastard!"
"Not until you deal with us," said Naruto, taking position in front of the palanquin along with the clones, Neji, and TenTen. The outlaws grinned at them.
"Gladly!" The first one reached TenTen, who unsealed her hammer and slammed it into his side, sending him tumbling into another. Neji struck a few points on another and spun to kick another. Naruto and his clones each took one, beating their opponent down with several devastating punches. In the space of a minute, all of the bandits were knocked unconscious or had their muscles locked up due to Neji.
Naruto dusted his hands. "There. That was easy."
"Sure was," agreed TenTen, sealing her hammer.
"All the archers are gone," announced Guy, jumping from a tree and in front of them. He looked around, seeing the out-cold bandits. "Geez, you really handed it to them."
Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head. "Ah, it was nothing."
"Nothing, Naruto?" asked TenTen, clapping Naruto's back, "We rocked!"
"Sure are modest, aren't you?" said Naruto sarcastically.
"Hey!" piped up Gorba, "C-could someone help me?" They turned and saw that an arrow had pinned the man's right sleeve to the seat. "Please?" Naruto frowned and jerked the arrow from the wood. The transformation faded, and the clone fell on top of Gorba, making him scream before it dispelled.
Naruto sighed in annoyance. "Are you alright, Gorba-san?" he asked, masking his irritation.
"Yes, just scared, that's all," answered the other, clutching his chest, "Oh, nearly had a heart attack."
"Mm-hm," grunted Naruto absently, making five clones, the fifth transforming back into the palanquin. "Here you go, Gorba-san." The man shrieked delightedly and clapped his hands together.
"Yay! This is so fabulous!" The team shook their heads as Gorba climbed in and the clones picked him up. "Another ride!" They jogged until nightfall, when the clones almost dropped the palanquin because they dispelled before they had let him down. The man tumbled out of it, legs wobbly. "Oh, that was disconcerting." He stumbled a few more steps before falling against a tree. He was out in seconds.
"Hope he knows that he'll have to wake up again," said Naruto, setting his pack on the ground and unzipping it. He pulled out a rope and tied one end to the pack, strung it over a branch, and pulled until the pack was hanging six feet in the air. He tied his end to the trunk. "There."
"What's that for?" asked TenTen.
"So animals can't get my stuff." Naruto reached up and opened one of the pockets. He pulled out a scroll and unsealed his tent and sleeping bag. He looked to Neji and TenTen. "Why are you just standing there? I hope you aren't going to ask to sleep with me." Neji glared at him, and TenTen snorted. Both began setting their own tents, Guy having started at the same time Naruto had.
After their three tents were set up, Naruto poked Gorba. "Hey, Gorba-san, time to get up."
"Five more minutes, mommy," he mumbled, sticking a thumb in his mouth. Naruto poked him again, and the merchant snorted and opened his eyes blearily. "Eh? What?"
"Did you bring a tent?" he asked.
Gorba shook his head. "I was hoping to share a tent." Naruto furrowed his brow, but then looked at his team frantically. They looked the other way, pretending to ignore him. "Could you share yours, perhaps?" Naruto swallowed dryly.
"Uh, sure," he replied, cursing his luck for the umpteenth time.
"Yay!" The man pulled from his own pack a sleeping bag and crawled into Naruto's tent. "Wake me in the morning!" Naruto watched the man's large behind take up most of the space in the tent, and glowered at the others.
"Thanks for abandoning me there, guys."
"Whatcha talking about, Naruto?" asked TenTen innocently, taking a pile of kindling gathered by Guy and striking a flint and steel above it, sparks showering the dry wood.
"You full well what I'm talking about, TenTen! And you too, teme!"
"I have no part in this conversation."
"You know full damn well you do! Why couldn't the guy share your tent!?" The sparks finally caught on the kindling, and fire slowly spread across the pile. Naruto's vein in his temple pounded, and he kicked the flaming pile over. "Ha! How do you like that?"
"You mother-," swore TenTen, grabbing the blonde.
"TenTen! Your tent!" yelled Neji, causing her to turn. Her tent was in flames, the flames from the kindling having reached it. She screamed and rushed to try to put it out, but it was no use; all that was left of it was ashes.
"My tent!" she howled. She turned on Naruto. "BAKA!"
"Eek!" TenTen chased him through the forest around the campsite, cursing him and throwing various weapons at him.
"C'mere! I will flay you alive!"
"Well, when you put it that way, I'd rather not!"
Neji pressed the sides of his temples. 'Sometimes, these two are really annoying together.' Naruto burst into the clearing and looked desperately to Neji. "Help me, teme!"
"That must have taken quite a bit of courage," he stated sardonically, "but you are entirely out of luck."
"NARUTO!"
"Ah!"
"What the heck is going on?" demanded Guy, returning with a pile of kindle. He surveyed the scene: Neji was standing off the side as TenTen had Naruto in a stranglehold, both of them looking guilty. Ashes from something were in the same place TenTen's tent had been, and Guy's eyebrows rose. "Anyone?"
"Uh," said Naruto, glancing at TenTen, "She started it."
"Did not! You burned down my tent!"
"You deserved it."
"No one deserves that!" She squeezed, choking the blonde.
"Ack! Uncle!"
"Stop!" commanded Guy. TenTen let go of him, but stared daggers at him. "So what happened?"
"Maybe I can give an accurate summary of the events," suggested Neji, "Uzumaki-san was whining-,"
"I wasn't whining!"
"-about his predicament with Gorba-san-,"
"How come that guy gets more respect than me?"
"-and was angered when TenTen seemed to ignore him."
"There's no 'seemed' about it, teme."
"He retaliated by kicking over the fire TenTen had started-,"
"Which she deserved!"
"-and the flames caught and burned down TenTen's tent. Then they began to fight," finished Neji despite the numerous interruptions. Guy tapped his chin as he considered the situation.
"Well," he surmised, "It looks like you royally screwed TenTen, Naruto, pardon my language." He kicked at the remains of TenTen's tent. "Now she's going to have to share a tent with either me or Neji." She scooted toward Neji. Guy turned to her. "So you are going to share with?"
"Uh, well," she stuttered, blushing bright red. 'Why does the world hate me?' "Well, no offense, sensei, but I'd like to share a tent with-," She glanced at Neji, whose face was also red but still composed, "Neji," she ended weakly. Naruto laughed loudly and fell backward. Guy raised an eyebrow but shrugged.
"Alright, still got your sleeping bag?" She nodded. "Then let's go to bed."
"Oh, those two might take a different meaning of it!" teased Naruto, narrowly avoiding TenTen's hammer.
"Hey, at least I don't have to sleep with Gorba! I'm sleeping with Neji!" countered TenTen.
"OH, YOU ADMITTED IT!"
"SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!"
"Team 9," said Guy sternly, "Shut up."
Well, how'd you like that? Some comedy, a little action, a little emotion, mostly my feeble attempts at comedy. Not bad. Oh, even though it's probably not out by now, I'm starting a Pokemon fanfic. Just saying. Anyway, reviews are welcome. Toodles.