Chapter 15

Beckett watched as Castle raced around the precinct, gathering what he could to fashion some make-shift bedding; the cushions from the sofa in robbery were in the break room before she knew it, and the closet in holding was home to a handful of blankets that he'd also requisitioned. Alexis sank down onto the sofa, her eyes closing as her father covered her with one of the heavier throws, and Beckett turned her head, unwilling to intrude on the scene by observing too closely.

"She can eat when she wakes," Castle whispered, and Beckett lowered her head in agreement, squeezing her eyes closed as she tried to will the tension from her body. "Do you want something?"

She looked at the break room table, the contents of the vending machine strewn across it, and her stomach contracted at the thought of ingesting any of it; a summer of lean meats and fresh vegetables was in stark opposition to the junk she'd habitually consumed over the last decade in the precinct and the take-out she'd lived on at home. She shook her head, taking only a bottle of water.

"Not yet," she said, sighing as she turned and took in the monstrosity of the coffee machine that Castle had brought into the precinct back in the beginning. "I'd kill for a decent latte, though."

He cast a sad look of longing at the espresso machine before smiling at her ruefully and indicating to the cushions on the floor with a nod. "You want to try sleeping?"

Beckett breathed in, the dusty smell of the abandoned precinct mingling with the still powerful scent of stale coffee, but suddenly the break room was too claustrophobic. She shook her head, forcing herself to still her lungs, hold the breath for a beat before exhaling slowly through her mouth. "Not yet."

She picked up a blanket, shaking the dust out of it, before opening the break room door and returning to the bullpen, her gait steady now she knew where she was going.

From the windows, the light grew stronger, and she blinked back sudden and unwelcome tears as she sank down into the seat at her desk. How many times had she seen sunrise from the wrong side, over the years? How often from this very desk had she watched the light grow stronger as the officers and other detectives made their way in to work?

Too often.

But now that they were here in 2016 the chance of seeing too many more sunrises seemed unlikely.

Beside her, Castle plopped down in his own chair, the unceremonious candor with which he carried himself welcome as the pale beginnings of daylight displayed just how quickly lack of human habitation had laid this place to waste.

"Not what I expected," he said, and she was oddly pleased that his voice was low. With Alexis asleep and Houghton 'keeping watch' it felt, just for a moment, like they could be the only people in the world.

"What did you expect?" she asked, unscrewing the cap on her water and taking a sip.

"For the apocalypse? Zombies. Definitely zombies. I expected to be asking things like 'what's the police code for zombies on the loose?'" He grinned, the strain of regret on his lips. "I follow a bunch of sci-fi blogs, I have no idea why rise of the machines never occurred to me."

"For machines that rely on computers and networks, you'd think they could have left the power on," she mused, reaching her hand out to move the mouse across her desk, sighing as her screen stayed blank.

He nodded, remaining silent, and she glanced away, toward the office that had once been Roy's. Who had this empty and dusty office belonged to before curfew and apocalypse had ripped it away?

"Have you met the new Captain?" she asked. If it truly were 2016 in her own head - rise of the machines aside - maybe she'd be at peace with Roy's sacrifice, and the lump in her throat wouldn't be as painful.

"Uh…" The hesitation was a punch in the gut and an awkward silence formed.

"Everything's different now, isn't it?" she murmured. Who would have thought being back home would feel this foreign?

"Not everything," Castle whispered back. "Some things are just the same."

She smiled wanly. Not enough things. Not the way Castle had loved her. She brought her hand to her mouth, the memory of their illicit kiss still lingering. Would they ever have that chance again? Or was that it for them? A single stolen moment in the dead of night?

She sniffed, squeezing her eyes closed, unable to keep a tear from rolling down her cheek. "Kate," he whispered, and she kept her eyes tightly shut. She heard, rather than saw as his chair scraped against the floor as he moved closer to her, his touch against her shoulder hesitant. "Kate," he said again, and this time his voice was in her ear, his breath against her neck a welcome shock.

If only she could let go.

She could lean into him, drink him in…

She opened her eyes at last, not at all surprised to see his blue ones gazing at her, intensity in his expression. "Kate," he said one more time, and she heard in her head the words that were meant to follow. I love you.

She smiled up at him, reaching her own hand toward him in spite of herself.

I love you, Kate.

If only.

She shook her head, withdrawing her fingers and pulling away from his touch.

"Come on," she whispered. "We should sleep."

The familiar glint in his eyes was nearly enough to bring laughter to her lips and she shook her head.

If only, indeed.

"Break room?" he asked, the tilt of his head angling toward the room Alexis slept in, and she declined with a dip of her head.

"Don't want to wake her," she said, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the closest conference room. "I'll just-" She shrugged, standing and heaving the blanket around her shoulders, wincing as the weight of it reminded her of just how far past her doctor's orders she'd pushed today.

Until tonight her toughest workout had been a few yoga sessions on the lawn by the cabin; standing shoulder to shoulder with a machine who wore her face while shooting down a rogue robot had not corresponded to any of the prescribed poses.

"I'll sneak in there," Castle whispered. "Bring you the cushions."

"You don't have-"

"I'll just be a second," he interrupted her. "Be right back."

"Sure." She watched him go before dropping her gaze to her desk. Her name plate still stood at the edge, and behind the stationary, her mom's elephants stood guard.

They'd represented a family, but hers had been ripped away. Hadn't they? Castle emerged from the break room, the sofa cushions clutched against his chest, and she smiled at him.

First, this.

Then they'd make Houghton bring them back to their own time. Maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to heal.

He thought he'd missed her, thought that the summer was already doing its worst. He'd had no idea.

Seeing her was agony.

Unlike the dazed rapture with which he'd followed Houghton when she'd rescued him from the book launch party, dealing with the very real, very fragile, Kate Beckett was an entirely different beast.

He was walking on eggshells.

How had he - even for a second - believed that Houghton was Beckett? They were like night and day.

At the thought of day, he grimaced, standing to draw the window shades and block out the light that streamed through before kneeling again, arranging the cushions on the ground for Kate. Sofas throughout the precinct had yielded many, dusty as they were, and with that blanket, well, Beckett could sleep quite well there.

There weren't enough for two beds, though.

Beckett kneeled down beside him, and he gestured to the bed. "Go ahead."

She smiled, her tired eyes half-closed as she sank into the cushions, pulling the blanket around herself.

"I'll, uh-" he pointed toward the door, but her eyebrows drew together in the tiniest of frowns.

"You'll…?"

"I'll go find somewhere to curl up," he said, regret lacing his words, but she shook her head, patting the space beside her.

"Castle?"

"Mmmh?"

"There's room here," she whispered, and turned away, curling in on herself before he could respond, but not before he saw the pink that colored her cheeks.

He hesitated just a second before shuffling back to her, gingerly settling himself next to her body as he tried to avoid touching her and keep his breathing even.

"Night, Castle," she murmured. Her breathing grew heavier as she fell asleep, and he closed his eyes as he weighed everything up.

Maybe 2016 wasn't such a write-off after all.

Beside her, Castle snuffled in his sleep, and she smiled, nestling into him and drawing his arm around her own shoulder, careful to keep its weight off the scar that decorated her torso. The late afternoon sun was too strong for the blinds, and dust particles danced in the light that streamed through the cracks. Without AC to keep the precinct at a steady temperature the room was warm, and she pushed the blanket aside even as she closed her eyes again, content to take another few minutes with Castle.

Castle?

And now she was awake.

What the hell?

It all came flooding back and she groaned, throwing her hand over her mouth so as to not wake Castle.

"Don't get up," he murmured, and she twisted her head toward him; no, he wasn't awake, just sleep talking. She grinned. Castle sleep-talked. Of course he did. That was kind of cu-

She shook her head.

Not cute. Not anything. This was a once in a lifetime thing, wrapped up in his arms like this. She sighed. Did it have to be, though? Maybe when they got back to their own time they'd be able to talk like adults. After all, running upstate under the presence of recovering when it was really to get out of cell-phone range and avoid Castle hadn't worked so well. She rolled her eyes, disentangling herself from him and standing, grimacing. Would her body ever work properly again?

She shook off the thought as she stretched, tiptoeing across the room and opening the door as quietly as she could. Her stomach was rumbling, but there was something she wanted more than food, and if she wasn't mistaken, now that she thought it about it, she could make it happen.

He opened his eyes, blinking at the bright light that coursed through the room before turning his head to look beside him.

She wasn't there. Of course not. How long had she lasted before the urge to slip away became too strong? An hour? Two? Either way, he hoped she'd had enough sleep, because tonight would be brutal. Houghton hadn't been exactly forthcoming with them about her plans, but no doubt-

The door swung open, and like a goddess before him, Kate stood framed in the doorway, a steaming cup of coffee in each hand and a triumphant smirk on her face.

"What- Kate?"

"Brought you a coffee," she said, crossing the room and handing him one, letting her hand linger on his as she did so.

"What- how?"

She settled down onto the cushions beside him, bringing her legs up to her chest and drawing a long sip from her own mug. "Remember last year-" she laughed. "Our last year, I mean- that case where the hiker strangled his companion with a sleeping bag."

He nodded. "Uh-huh. I had nightmares about that one," he confessed.

"All his camping gear was in evidence, and then some of it got moved to storage, and there was a little camp stove, and I found a French Press in Karpowski's desk. The coffee is a little stale, but it's all we've got." She beamed, and he smiled back, feeling his eyes crinkle in response to the happiness she was radiating.

"Amazing," he whispered, dipping his head and inhaling the coffee.

She nodded, taking another mouthful of hers and leaning her head against his shoulder. He froze for a moment before relaxing into her touch. He sighed, letting himself reach out for her, resting a tentative hand on her knee.

"I missed you," he confessed, the words slipping out before he could stop them, and she threw him a mournful look that had him backtracking, withdrawing his hand and holding it up in surrender. "I'm- no. No, Kate. It's- you- don't-"

"Castle," she breathed. "It's… No." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, okay? I… I meant to call." She dropped her gaze to the floor. "But I just needed- I thought I needed-"

He shrugged, keeping his own eyes trained on his coffee. "I was mad, Beckett. I really was. I wanted- I thought you would call. But it's been two months, and…"

"And I didn't call."

"I figured Josh was helping you heal," he said, the lump in his throat making it impossible to take another mouthful of his drink.

"Josh?" She huffed out a low laugh. "No. Oh. God, no. Castle, we… we broke up."

"You… did?" He swallowed, breathing a little easier now. "Why?"

Her answer was soft, and he strained to hear it. "You know why."

"I do?"

She nodded, her head still dipped. "I couldn't be with him. Not when you-"

"When I…?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't be with someone else," she murmured at last, shaking her head and standing as she drained her coffee, and he smiled.

So there was hope.

A/N: Thank you to all the readers and especially the reviewers! So much love for you all. And especially a lot of love for Kylie and Jamie who gave it all a read through to look for my mistakes! x