ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!
ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!
AU, OOC, moderate SLASH! (I'm on a roll! ;D) SlightlyVoyeur!Virgin!Sammy in here! :D And some Alex/Mark. (There'll be more, I promise.)
Hey, guys! I'm soooooo sorry for the late update. I was struggling with a few little scenes in here and to get my diploma/degree/whatever. But now university is over for me, I'm on job-hunt, so I'll have some spare time. :D
I hope you're gonna like the new chapter. Could you tell me if the graphicness is suitable for the writing style of this story? If not, I'll rewrite it to a more fitting one. *epic foreshadowing* :D
Some of Sam's behavior in here is based off of some of my own actions, especially the tactileness and the overthinking. :( Ever since I found out that Canon!Sam is a Taurus, like me, I can't help but find similarities between his behavior and mine. So I took the liberty and used this knowledge up for my Sam. Hope you don't mind!
Also, I couldn't help but go full-on cheesiness in the end. And of course, Wicked is not mine. *points up*
Anyway, enjoy the 19-PAGES LONG chappy! ^.^
Chapter 17: Best Of Both Worlds
Everything returned to normal at the Winchester mansion. Tension drained away, friendships were reinforced and trusts were formed. Ramon apologized to Sam for his behavior, but Sam understood that the man was trying to protect Dean like he had always done, and he couldn't get mad at him because of that. Sam was just relieved that everyone accepted his relationship with Dean. Now it was up to the older man to tell about it to his mother.
After everything settled from the fight, everyone returned to their tasks. By the time afternoon arrived, Sam was done with his tasks, less than the average for a change. He decided to hang out in Dean's room and look around since he hadn't seen it during the day, and hadn't had the chance to investigate.
The room itself was gorgeous. It had the same cream-colored theme in it like the whole mansion, but it was still unique in a way. There was a bookshelf next to the big window, half of it stacked with books, the other half full of CDs and cassette tapes. As Sam looked them over, he spotted a whole lot of rock bands like Metallica, AC/DC, Motorhead and so on. Sam shook his head with a smile.
'Mullet rock…'
There were also two smaller couches in the room, one of them looking towards the window, while the other was opposite a flat-screen TV that made Sam's jaw drop. It was big! Sam could just imagine Dean sitting here watching the game or some show with a beer in one hand… like his father did in the old family house. Sam had to smile again at the image, although it had a sad edge to it.
In one end of the room was the king-sized bed Sam had been sleeping in for the last few days and had made every morning. It was covered with a cream-colored bedspread now, the big pillows put in order at the headboard. Sam was proud of his work: it looked like it leapt out of a magazine cover.
On the other side, next to the door leading to the bathroom, stood an ornate oak desk with a comfortable looking chair behind it. There was a closed laptop on the table, still plugged into the socket. There were a few papers strewn across the desktop, but it was mostly in order. As Sam walked around the table, he caught a framed picture on it with a happily smiling Mary and John on it, hugging each other in front of the mansion. Sam picked it up and took a look at the face of the father Dean loved so much.
The resemblance was perfectly clear: Dean looked exactly like John, down to the mischievous glint in the dark eyes. However, Dean inherited Mary's golden-blonde hair and jade-green eyes – and that beautiful smile Sam had fallen in love with all over again every time he had seen it. Sam's heart ached at the thought of losing a parent and John just looked so gentle despite his hard features, so trustworthy, so… so familiar…
Sam shook his head as he put the picture back into its place. The slight mess on the desk was starting to bug him, so he decided to tidy it up a little. He picked the pens up thrown around on the surface and put them back into the holder then sorted the papers out into neat little stacks. He couldn't help but look them over as he put them in order. They were just papers on the Winchester company, with quite a few legal words that Sam barely understood.
"…success rate: 86% (complaints on the transportation of products…"
"…technical developments required to increase the income of…"
"…Dean Michael Winchester, Head of Winchester Woodworks, hereby authorizes subsidiary to extend its jurisdiction…"
"…expenses spent on technical developments: $3,450,000…"
"…value of purchased company: $15,000,000…"
Sam's eyes widened at the number he found on the last paper. It was a contract about the purchase of a smaller carpenter company. He blinked a couple times, making sure he wasn't hallucinating. He knew Dean was rich and the business was extremely successful, but… Damn!
His eyes raked over the papers and something else caught his eyes: an annual report…
"Total income: $2.8 billion"
Sam's jaw dropped in shock. Even his father hadn't earned this much money… And here Sam thought that he came from a wealthy family. He felt his stomach churn at that. Poor Dean… Sam was sure many women had jumped into the man's arms only for his money. Could it be the reason why Dean had slept around for years, only doing one-night-stands and no settling down?
Sam shook his head and put the contract in his hand onto the business-pile. He didn't care about the money, he had his own in the bank. Dean was too nice and tender for his wealth to overshadow him and Sam loved him for him. With that he chased the thought of that much – too much – money out of his mind and returned to the cleaning.
When he was satisfied with the outcome, Sam eyed the closed laptop on the desk. God, he missed his computer! He had spent hours surfing the Internet for anything to chase his boredom away or read some novel published on it. Maybe he should check his mails, just in case there was something…
Sam shifted from one foot to the other, nibbling at his lower lip uncertainly, wide, nervous eyes darting from the laptop to the entrance. When nothing or no one jumped out to stop him in the next few seconds, he plopped down into the chair and lifted the top of the computer.
The device began whirring as it started up and Sam realized it must have been in sleep mode. He logged in, surprised to see no prodding for a password, and the screen lighted up with tables and diagrams. It must be the data for the business.
Sam minimized the different windows, raising an eyebrow at the amount. There must have been at least ten of them open. Dean had possibly been working before leaving for God knows where.
Sam opened a browser and rested his fingers on the keyboard. He wanted to check his emails but instead his brain led his hands to a different direction. Before he knew it, the web search listed quite a few entries, all of them common by one highlighted word:
"Hermaphrodite"
Sam had been awfully curious as a teenager when he had found out about his difference. He had asked Bobby about a few things but those had been kinda awkward conversations and hadn't lasted for long. Sam had a guess that if his mother had been alive, she would've been telling him about everything he needs to know about his own body. His father was too much of a man to discuss this with him – and this was the reason why Sam felt such a girl sometimes.
His hazel-green eyes looked the titles over on the screen then jumped back to the first one. He clicked on the link and an article appeared in front of him. He began reading it, skipping the historical part, where the ancient Greeks were mentioned. He scrolled down trying to catch something relevant for his situation, when something caught his gaze:
"In the United States…"
Sam quickly scrolled to the appropriate passage and began reading:
"In the United States the first record of a hermaphrodite was dated in 1879. It was found among the records of Fair Maiden Infirmary in a small town in Arizona. One year after that, in 1880, the law of slavery was reestablished, including the hermaphrodite population. The new Slavery Act stated that the definition of 'slave' covers every person whose abnormality prohibits their duty to provide for the State and its flourish."
Sam shut his eyes tightly against the gathering tears, pressing a hand onto his mouth to muffle the sudden sobs escaping him. "Abnormality…" He couldn't believe it! Just because his body was different, slightly altered than the average male build, he was a freak? How can people be so cruel and simple-minded? Involuntarily, Marston jumped to the forefront of his mind. There were still people out there who were thinking this way. Will this ever be changed?
Will Sam ever be free?
Sam wiped his tears away and gasped in deep breaths to calm himself down. After a few seconds, he returned to the article:
"This act is still in effect to this day. However, several attempts of modification were made, which were refused by the government. As of yet there is no chance of revision for this act."
The rest of the passage was not able to keep Sam's attention as it turned its focus away from the United States. He was still wiping his flowing tears from his cheeks and eyes, hugely disappointed in the government and humanity altogether. His only hope is the changing view of the population. Maybe one day this will be a horrible nightmare. For now, his only ray of hope was Dean and the love flaming inside both of them.
"Anatomy"
Sam blushed from hairline to collar at the word his mind registered. There was a drawing next to the text, showing the organs inside a hermaphrodite. Sam looked it briefly over, but his face was so hot by now, he thought he would get a heat stroke. The text wasn't much better:
"The hermaphrodites' body structure is a mix of the female and male body. There are two kinds of hermaphrodites: a female with male genital organs and a male with female genital organs. In a survey dated 2001, the collected data showed a larger amount of male hermaphrodites in the hermaphrodite population than female hermaphrodites. The survey also stated that 40% of the average male population consists of male hermaphrodites, while 28% of the average female population consists of female hermaphrodites."
Sam skipped the passage about female hermaphrodites before continuing reading:
"The male hermaphrodite's body structure is slightly more complex than the female ones. The average male organs were moved from their places to give space for the slowly developing uterus and ovaries. The vagina usually appears at the age of 11-12, mostly on the first day of the first menstruation cycle. From then on the hermaphrodites are fertile and capable of carrying children."
Sam reread the last sentence. Thank God that his Dad was keeping him away from people! What if Sam had a fling with a guy and…? He shuddered slightly at the scenario playing through his mind. Now, though… Sam forced himself to return to the text.
"The first male hermaphrodite pregnancy was recorded in 1896, in London. The baby was a healthy little boy, who, reaching his teenage years, hadn't developed hermaphroditic traits. In conclusion, the male child of a hermaphrodite has an equal amount of chance of being born with either an average or a hermaphroditic body structure.
Female children born from hermaphrodites have a less amount of chance of becoming hermaphrodites than male children."
Sam could only stare at the information revealed to him. He knew almost nothing about his own kind. This article was very informative but he felt ashamed for not knowing all this. He was sure Alex was perfectly clear about his own body and traits.
"A common phenomenon amongst male hermaphrodites is the case of 'triple-orgasm'."
Sam choked on his breath as his eyes slid over the sentence. "Triple orgasm"?! He leaned forward to read it attentively:
"A common phenomenon amongst male hermaphrodites is the case of 'triple-orgasm'. Because of the relocated organs inside a male hermaphrodite's body, the prostate is pushed behind the uterus. If the hermaphrodite engages in sexual intercourse with a man, a certain angle during the intercourse stimulates the prostate, causing a third point where orgasm can be reached, beside the clitoris and the Gräfenberg-Spot (G-Spot).
Otherwise, sexual intercourse through the hermaphrodite's vagina is the same as with an average female."
Sam sat there for a couple minutes, just absorbing the information he received. So, he has the same anatomy as women, as far as the genitalia goes. He had the uterus, the ovaries, the menstruation cycles… So does that mean he's a virgin? Of course, he was a virgin, since he never had a lover before, but… Did he have the hymen, as well?
Sam buried his face into his hands. He felt so embarrassed, even though he shouldn't. This was natural knowledge about his own body. Then why did he feel like he was just caught watching porn? Pushing almost futilely against the growing mortification and just barely managing it, Sam returned to the article again:
"During the researching of the hermaphrodites, scientists found what they call a 'self-defense' mechanism of the male hermaphrodite body. When the hermaphrodite's orgasm begins building in the uterus, this mechanism sends a signal to the brain, which stops the body to produce semen. When the hermaphrodite reaches the orgasm, no ejaculation of semen occurs."
'WHAT?!' Sam thought, blushing furiously for several reasons. This. Is. Weird!
"Sweet Lord…" he said out loud, before he could stop himself.
"What is it?" Sam jumped a mile at the voice in front of him. Snapping his head up, to his mortification his gaze landed on Dean's curious expression. Sam grabbed the top of the computer and slammed it down so hard and fast, even he had to wince at the sound. He hoped he didn't break the poor device.
"N-Nothing" Sam stammered, causing Dean's eyebrow to rise suspiciously. Sam dragged his gaze away from those piercing jade-green eyes and it involuntarily landed on Dean's-
He blushed before ducking his head embarrassed.
"What's wrong?" Dean asked, his voice worried but slightly amused.
"N-N-Nothing" Sam stuttered out and jumped out of the chair, almost knocking it onto the floor. He had to get out of the room and away from Dean. As he fled from behind the table, Dean caught his wrist and stopped him.
"Are you sure you're alright?" the man asked, pulling Sam into his arms. He could feel the tremors throughout the boy's body and noticed the flush on his skin. What was he watching on the computer that shook him up this bad?
"Y-Yeah, yeah" Sam nodded, still avoiding Dean's gaze, eyes flitting from one point to the other in the room, not settling on anything. The boy was nervous, Dean could see that. "I-I just need to… to go and… and…" With that Sam slipped out of Dean's hold and rushed through the door to the back hallway. Dean just looked after him in confusion, before tearing his gaze away from the half-open door and turning it to the laptop.
Dean was curious now. What could've made Sam lose his cool so hard? Was it porn? Dean hoped not; he would die from embarrassment if Sam found those kinds of videos on his laptop. Dean had given up on that kind of pleasure along with women ages ago.
So, what could it be?
Not able to bear the curiosity and hoping it didn't kill him, Dean took a seat in the chair and opened the laptop.
And just stared.
Sam leaned his head against the tiles, hiding his shame from the world against them. Cold water was beating down on his flushed skin, trying to cool the sudden heat that had begun spreading when he had started reading the article, especially the anatomy part.
After escaping from the room, Sam had begun searching for a task he could do, anything to steer his mind away from what he'd read. He had roamed the whole mansion, looking for a chore to do, before realizing that he had already been finished with all of his tasks and the heat was still present inside him. That's why he had decided to take a relaxing, ice-cold shower.
And it was not. Helping.
He was so embarrassed, so ashamed of what he had seen and of what he was. He never thought that he could be this much of a prude, especially concerning his own body. He shouldn't feel uncomfortable with the new knowledge… but he did.
However, despite the shame coursing through him, there was a small amount of curiosity that had peeked out from the darkness. He had gotten himself off quite a few times in the "male" way… so what's the difference between that and the… "female" way?
Sam looked down at himself, as if hoping for the answer to be written on his skin. His body looked male, as always, even though his waist was slimmer and his hips were wider. Forgetting about the water beating down on him, he moved his hand to his stomach and down… Fingers bypassed familiar territory and ventured forward into unknown areas, brushing at rough hairs and… soft flesh. Sam knew he reached the destination his curiosity was seeking, but had to pause as his stomach clenched from nerves. Should he take this step and discover the "new land" or stay in blissful ignorance until the time was right? Maybe with Dean… no matter how embarrassing his lack of sexual knowledge would be…
With determination and a deep breath, he moved his fingers past the flesh and into wet warmth. He was surprised by the unexpected feeling. He knew women became wet before sexual intercourse, but he didn't know it would be this quick. Or maybe he'd been wet for a while now…
With careful touches, he brushed the warm flesh, searching for the one thing he dared to experiment with. After a few seconds, a strange but barely there tingle shook him up, not even reaching his lower abdomen. He brushed that spot again, but the reaction was even less than earlier. He tried harder, but it barely did more.
Sam sighed in disappointment, his fingers still trying to coax out a bigger reaction, not wanting to let Dean down in the future. He closed his eyes and pictured Dean's beautiful green eyes looking at him, smoldering and oh-so-sexy… and that smirk that promised a whole night of fun and pleasure… and the toned, hard muscles under soft, tanned skin… he could just feel the hardness of his chest under his palm…
Sam's eyes snapped open with a gasp. He had been rubbing at that tender area a little harder, when one of the feeble tingles had shot up his spine, shocking his brain like electricity. Now the nerves of his whole lower abdomen were buzzing pleasantly. When he tried to rub again, the buzz dimmed somewhat. He closed his eyes once more and Dean's toned body returned to the forefront of his mind, this time stepping out of the bathroom… Drops of water gliding down the tanned skin… Sam felt the urge to just lick one off, which was running down the man's chest and abs…
The tingle shot up his body again, almost bending his spine in half. Sam's body instinctively curled up, as if preventing that to happen… or maybe because his abs were tightening up… or something behind them…
This time he didn't let his mind wander and focus waver. He kept up the picture of Dean in his head. His hand unconsciously reached out, as if to touch the man and in his mind he did. His fingers collided with warm, soft, wet skin and hard, defined muscles under it… He smoothed his hand onto Dean's shoulder before trailing it down his chest and abdomen then going back. His palm and fingers were trembling and the tingle in him did a mini-explosion when he realized his hand can easily mold into Dean's curves…
Dean stepped closer and his smoldering look just set Sam's body on fire… His arm was even starting to hurt from it, but he didn't care… He felt a hand on his body, slowly, teasingly caressing his thigh upwards and brushing Sam's ass before resting on his lower back… Sam moaned as Dean stepped even closer, just a breath away from each other… He felt his muscles contracting with sudden, quick spasms… Dean began leaning closer, ready to kiss Sam… Sam's arm was ablaze now, movement quick and relentless…
And then…
And then…
And then Sam's arm was too tired to be moved and he had to stop. Sam returned to reality and the shower cubicle with breathy gasps. He rubbed at his arm and tried to will life back into it but it was hurting too much. The tingle in his body slowly dissipated and Sam's knees buckled. His back, which was leaning against the tiles, slid on the wet surface until Sam was sitting on the floor of the cubicle. He pulled his knees up, hugging them to his chest before burying his face into them and one hand into his hair.
God, just a few seconds and it would've been perfect! He felt frustration tear at his mind and heart. He felt unsatisfied and slightly angry that his arm couldn't bear some more effort and work. He knew he had been close, but it seemed so far away now. Tears of frustration glided down his cheeks and a gasp of a sob escaped his mouth before he clamped his lips shut.
"Sam?"
Sam jumped at the voice but he recognized it: Alex.
"You were in here for a long while" Alex explained sheepishly before the question even began forming in Sam's mind. He felt a little tired and had a guess if he talked he would be slurring slightly. "I was worried."
Sam didn't move from his pose of dejection, not even caring that he was naked in front of his friend… Okay, maybe he cared a little, judging by the tensing of his thighs as he held them tightly together to cover his groin.
A hand on his shoulder made him jump again and he just knew Alex was kneeling next to him outside the still running shower, looking at him with concern in his blue eyes. As the hand began rubbing at his shoulders, Sam realized that he must be trembling. The question, though, was: is it from the ice-cold water or from his little experiment?
"Come on" Alex spoke softly, as if speaking to a terrified wild animal. "Let's get you out of here, before you catch a cold."
'Can anyone catch a cold from a cold shower?' Sam couldn't help but wonder, as he stood up. The stray thought helped to keep his embarrassment at bay while Alex was drying him with a towel and dressing him up. Sam was still a little numb from the huge disappointment so he barely registered Alex leading him out of the bathroom and into their bedroom, laying him down into his bed. He felt the blanket covering him up to his neck and he curled up on his side, knowing his vulnerability wouldn't be noticed by anyone.
Except maybe one person.
"What's wrong?" Alex asked, sitting down next to Sam. The older servant's fingers glided through Sam's damp tresses, the touch so mothering that it stirred some memories in the boy's mind about his own mother. His body relaxed almost instinctively, eyes sliding closed with a sigh.
"Nothing" Sam answered finally, voice barely audible. He turned his face into the pillow, muffling the rest of his reply that tumbled out of him unconsciously:
"'S 'mbarras'n'…"
"You want to talk about it?" Alex tried again. At first Sam wondered if he decided to ignore Sam's lack of cooperation, but then:
"I promise I won't tell anyone."
Sam couldn't stop the sob breaking out of him at that. Why does Alex have to be so nice? The older servant was now pulling him into a comforting hug, shushing his distress with soft, whispered "It's okay"s and "Let it out"s. In the back of his mind, Sam realized that this is the second time he cried into Alex's shirt like this.
"Now" Alex spoke after Sam settled down with a pathetic sniff, "why don't you tell me what's wrong so we can figure it out?"
"'S stupid" Sam mumbled, the flush in his cheeks strengthening to extreme levels of shame.
"If it unsettles you this much, then it can't be that stupid."
"Yes, it is" Sam argued, trying to get Alex to leave it alone.
"Let me be the judge of that!" Alex replied, even more stubborn than Sam apparently.
"Why do you even want to know?" Sam asked, shooting up into a sitting position, at the same time breaking the pleasant cocoon of Alex's arms. As he dried his fresh tears, a hand landed on his shoulder.
"Because it hurts me to see my friend in distress" the older servant answered softly. When Sam looked up, he met concerned, maybe a little terrified azure eyes staring at him.
"You're gonna laugh at me" Sam tried one last time, but his voice gave his submission away… and from Alex's grin it was very obvious.
"No, I'm not" Alex looked so sincere, but Sam knew he won't be for long. Despite that, he sighed deeply and looked down before launching into his tale.
"I was looking up information about hermaphrodites on the internet. I found an article that described everything in full detail. But as I was reading it, I…" Sam swallowed and glanced at Alex fleetingly, checking the other's reaction. The young man was listening to him with full attention. "I found a part that was about the… my anatomy and it f-freaked me out a bit…"
"Haven't you looked it up before?" Alex asked and Sam was relieved that he was only confused.
"Never thought about it…" Sam shrugged sheepishly. "I knew enough to get by, but I didn't get a chance to… study it to that… degree…"
"Okay" Alex nodded. "So what were you doing in the shower?"
"I…" Sam blushed even more. "E… E-Experimenting…"
"Oh…"
Sam buried his face into his hands, wishing he could sink into the ground and die. What could Alex think about him now? That he was a clueless virgin? It was true, but that didn't make it less embarrassing.
"Clitoris?"
Alex's sudden inquiry jolted Sam out of his self-pity and he snapped his head up to look at his friend. When he realized Alex was serious, he could only nod numbly.
"And let me guess" Alex went on, "no satisfaction?"
Sam's eyes narrowed as he examined the other's expression. Was there… frustration there? Like what he had been feeling?
"Y-You, too?" he couldn't help but ask.
"You took it better than I did" Alex muttered angrily. "I actually broke the showerhead. I was so mad… At first I thought there was something wrong with me."
"And now?" Sam asked and his jaw dropped because Alex blushed! Did that mean…?
"When Mark… helped me… it made up for that first experience" Alex shrugged, twisting the blanket with his fingers shyly.
"So you… did you…?" Sam tried to ask, he really did, but the words wouldn't want to come out of his mouth. Alex just shook his head.
"You don't have to go… all the way for that experience."
"What's it like?" Sam blurted out, before actually slapping a hand onto his mouth. Alex looked just as surprised at his question as Sam was. They sat in silence for a few moments, blushing and awkward, then Alex stood up.
"What you felt in the shower" he spoke softly, "is nothing compared to the real thing." And with that Alex fled from the room, leaving Sam blushing and hiding under the blanket in embarrassment.
A breeze brushing down his back and crickets' chirps greeted Sam awhile later. He realized he must have fallen asleep after his talk with Alex. He instantly felt warmth flood his cheeks as he remembered the afternoon's events… And the long debate to go back to Dean or stay where he was in hope of avoiding the issue.
How will he explain this to Dean? He was 100% certain that the man will have questions about his behavior, but Sam didn't know if he was ready to face him. What if Dean would want to… do it… when it's brought up? He knew Dean wasn't like that, but he wasn't sure what the man wants out of their relationship… if you could call them being together that…
'This is stupid' he scolded himself. 'We're l-lovers, right? We're supposed to be able to talk about… these things… right?' Sam had never felt so insecure about an issue before.
He wiped at his face in frustration then decided to get some water. His parched throat supported that idea, so he sat up in his bed and stumbled out of the dark bedroom, just noticing the open window. It was a hot night, one of the last ones in the summer lingering in September. Sam fanned at his face a little, his clothes slightly damp from sweat.
The kitchen was silent as he turned the light on, devoid of any occupants. Sam never even noticed that the others had gone to sleep. Only the hum of the fridge and the lamp gave the background noise to the quiet room. Sam opened the cupboard and took a glass out of it, filling it with cold water. He felt like in Heaven when the desert in his throat was washed down. He let out an appreciative sigh then his thoughts wandered away…
Dean looked down at him, his jade-green eyes glittering in the moonlight with love and lust. His blonde hair was wet as if he had just stepped out of the shower, his arms were holding him up, elbows on each side of Sam's head. Full lips pulled up into a smirk before leaning closer and molding into his own…
Sam moaned at the sudden touch at his groin then a finger breached him, sending that wonderful tingle throughout his body, causing him to gasp and arch…
God, it felt so good…
'Don't stop…' Sam breathed barely audibly before a gasp cut his words off.
'Shhh' Dean whispered back. 'I'll take care of you…'
'Mark…'
Sam's eyes snapped open, startled by the name his mind conjured up. He almost lost his hold on the glass. Why would he think of Mark's name when Dean was in his mind?
"Mark…"
The breathless moan made Sam jump as he realized it wasn't part of his day-dreaming…
But a sound coming from the bedroom.
Sam put his glass down onto the counter and crept back to the door he let partially open when he had come out, turning the light off in the kitchen to investigate easier. However, when he reached the door and peeked in, he wished he hadn't.
On Alex's bed two bodies were lying on each other, moving ever so slightly from time to time. Sam saw Alex's face crystal-clear even in the dark, the flush of pleasure on his cheeks, the blissful expression on his face… The entwined fingers next to the young man's head… Mark's blonde hair at the crook of Alex's neck…
Sam lifted a hand against his mouth in shock. He wanted to leave, let the pair be, but the sight of the two together was so… intriguing… He had no trouble replacing the two – yet again – with himself and Dean… Sam stretched out under Dean while the man brought him to pleasures Sam had never experienced before… Or at all…
Another gasp broke out of Alex and the young man's hips twitched upwards a little bit. This attracted Sam's attention to that area and he was partially sad, partially relieved that the actual sight was blocked out. One of Alex's bent legs was bared, the blanket pooling around it after slipping off of the trembling limb. Mark's hand had disappeared behind the thigh but Sam could see the arm moving slowly back and forth. Every gentle… thrust, if Sam could call it that, caused Alex to gasp and shift closer to the body covering his, while his head tilted even more to give even more space to Mark's ministrations.
Sam finally tore his gaze away from the pair and quietly escaped from the servants' quarter. He found himself in front of Dean's room, but he didn't dare to step in so he sat down next to it onto the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest.
What had he just seen? It was way more than he wanted to know about Alex – or Mark for that matter – but… Despite the awkwardness of it all, Sam – 'Poor, prude, virgin Sam' he thought with a slight sneer – still found the scene… beautiful… As if it was straight out of a romance novel. And Sam had read enough of them, thank you very much. He recognizes the beauty of something like that…
Would it be like this with Dean? Would Sam be so lost to the pleasure like Alex was – is – with Mark? Dean had some experience with women and there was not that much of a difference between Sam and them so at least the older man would know what to do. Sam was just a little afraid that he wouldn't feel that way with Dean. What if something was wrong with him? What if he will totally suck at this… sexual stuff and won't even experience something like that with the other man?
'What if I can't reciprocate the pleasure Dean gives me?'
'What if he won't find me attractive enough?'
'What if he will reject me because I'm sexually unappealing? Especially if I'm naked?'
"I'm such a girl" Sam whimpered, tears of confusion and panic flowing down his cheeks, closely followed by sobs that he tried to muffle with his knees and arms. Why does he have to freak out this much? Why can't he just go with the flow and deal with things as they come?
But he knew why. Reading about such beautiful scenes in books, Sam had developed high expectations concerning his own future experiences, and it was so much easier to be disappointed or disappoint the other than fulfilling them. There were so many things that can go wrong and he can't stop his mind creating scenario after scenario about failures and rejection.
A hand smoothed onto his shaking shoulder comfortingly, before Sam was pulled up and into Dean's room. Sam would recognize that soothing touch anywhere. He didn't dare to look up from the ground, even when Dean had sat him down onto the bed and joined him, one arm around Sam. A soft textile wiped at his eyes and cheeks then it was pushed gently into his hands. It was a handkerchief.
"Are you okay?" Dean asked worriedly. Sam glanced up at him, meeting the genuine concern in the green eyes for a moment.
"Y… Yes…" he hiccupped. "N-no… D'no…" He began twisting the cloth between his fingers. He didn't stop when Dean placed a hand on both of his.
"You wanna talk about it?" Sam clenched his jaw against the fresh sobs trying to break free, preventing him from answering Dean's question. "You can tell me anything, you know?" Dean insisted, pulling Sam into his side. "I'm not gonna make fun of you."
"It's nothing" Sam snapped out, ashamed of and furious with himself. He pushed himself up to his feet and out of Dean's arms, leaving the handkerchief on the bed. He began wiping at his face and eyes angrily, his back to the man. He heard a sigh behind him but didn't react to it. Instead, he cleared his throat and crossed his arms, tense and ready to bolt out of the back door.
"Is it about the article?"
The question came so suddenly that Sam choked in the air mid-inhale. His eyes widened and his whole body froze – except the trembling. Dean saw it! Sam wanted to slap himself so hard right now. 'Why didn't I close the browser?' he reprimanded himself inwardly.
"You didn't know about it, did you?" Dean continued.
"What?" Sam retorted. "That I'm more of a freak than usual?"
"You know that's not true-" Dean spoke, standing up and laying a hand onto Sam's shoulder, but it was slapped away as Sam turned towards him.
"Tell that to those who say I'm 'abnormal'!" Sam cried out, but his voice wavered.
"Hermaphrodites are not abnormal" Dean argued, raising his voice.
"Yes, they are!" Sam shouted, not caring how late it was. "There should be two genders, male and female, not THREE!"
Dean suddenly stepped in front of Sam and grabbed Sam's upper arms.
"You listen to me!" Dean hissed, shaking the boy slightly, though his voice was anything but angry. "There have been three genders ever since I can remember: male, female AND hermaphrodite. This is completely normal, how the world has been for centuries, maybe even longer." As Dean spoke, his voice grew softer and softer, causing Sam to relax and tears to gather in the boy's eyes.
"If you're a freak" Dean continued, "that means Alex is one, too. Is that what you think?"
"Of course not, but…" Sam tried, immediately regretting his outburst in this new light, but Dean didn't let him finish.
"So if Alex is normal, so are you" Dean finished in a firm tone, cradling Sam's face with one hand.
"No, I'm not" Sam shook his head, dislodging Dean's hand unintentionally. He didn't dare to look into the man's eyes, fearing Dean's rejection when the other finally realizes that Sam's not worth it…
"Why?" Dean was getting frustrated now. "Because you didn't know? Newsflash, Sam: Alex hadn't known, either." The man let Sam go and turned away from the boy. "And he would've been safe if not for that goddamned family vacation…" A pause wormed its way into Dean's speech, but Sam had a feeling it won't go away.
"I'm sorry" Sam breathed after a few moments, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I feel so stupid…"
Dean turned back towards the boy, who was looking at him with misery in his eyes. The sight made his shoulders hunch and a sigh escape him.
"It's okay" Dean replied, stepping back to Sam and pulling him into his arms. The boy instantly leaned into him, sobs muffled by the man's shoulder. "Shhh, it's okay…" Dean soothed him, rubbing his back comfortingly. "Everything's okay…"
"I can't live without you…" Sam whimpered, tightening his hold on Dean's torso and fisting the man's T-shirt. Dean closed his eyes in pain, finally understanding Sam's behavior.
"There's nothing that could make me leave you… Nothing…" he answered, whispering his words into the boy's ear. They stayed like that for a couple seconds then Dean pushed the boy upright. "Tell you what: why don't you take a shower and we go to bed?" Sam nodded, but then remembered something.
"I-I can't go downstairs" he said, blushing slightly. "I… I just… can't…"
"It's alright" Dean smiled then walked around Sam to his wardrobe. Sam didn't dare to move from his place, so he just watched as Dean rummaged around before pulling a shirt and sweatpants out.
"These should fit you" Dean said, when he returned to Sam, and pushed the clothes into his arms. "You can keep them, I don't wear them anymore."
"Thank you" Sam answered shyly, slightly happy to have Dean's clothes. And they still smelled like him…
"You can use the towel in my bathroom." Sam nodded then hesitated a bit. Finally coming to a decision and the assurance that Dean wouldn't be mad at him, he leaned in and pressed a shy, grateful kiss onto the man's cheek. As he quickly turned away and dashed into the bathroom, he thought he caught a faint blush on Dean's face.
But he was just imagining it… right?
When Sam finally emerged from the bathroom, completely comfortable in his new pajamas, he found Dean sitting at his desk, typing away on his laptop. Sam cautiously snuck closer and slowly wrapped his arms around the older man's shoulders, leaning his head next to Dean's. Dean just smiled at the action and turned his head to Sam to drop a quick kiss onto the boy's flushed cheek.
"What'cha doing?" Sam asked quietly. He could see an e-mail forming on the monitor as Dean continued typing.
"Work" Dean replied. "I'm almost finished. Give me a moment and I'll be with you, okay?" Sam nodded, lingering for a couple seconds before moving off of Dean and towards the bed.
"You look hot in my clothes, by the way."
Sam turned back and found Dean admiring him up and down, a satisfied smirk on his lips. Sam couldn't help the coy smile that snuck onto his face and as he continued his way towards the bed, he began exaggerating the sways of his hips, knowing it would be visible under the shirt. Despite feeling stupid and fearing he would fall and make an ass of himself, he could feel the man's leer burning his backside.
"Dammit, you're a tease…" Dean murmured, probably not meant to be heard by Sam, who just grinned triumphantly.
He finally reached the bed and lay on top of the covers, too hot right now to hide under it, and kept his attention on Dean, impatiently waiting for the man to join him.
His wish came true accompanied by a couple clicks of the mouse and the snap of the laptop cover. Dean shut the desk lamp off, covering the room in darkness then Sam felt the bed dip next to him as the man lay down. Sam shifted towards Dean, who pulled him into his arms, pressing a kiss onto the boy's thin lips. Sam replied eagerly, one hand combing through blonde tresses before holding onto them, while their lips and tongues danced around each other merrily. Dean's arms were like vice around Sam's torso and he knew his own hold was no less.
All of a sudden, one of Dean's hands slid down his side and caressed Sam's ass, just the tips of his fingers. The move was so out of the blue that Sam jumped and blushed at his skittish behavior. Dean shushed him, before returning to Sam's lips, distracting the boy from other ministrations he was planning to do.
Sam whimpered when the same hand slid the tips of the fingers under Sam's waistband, both the sweatpants' and the boxers'. However, instead of invading into that territory, they just teased the boy's spine, causing Sam to gasp at the unexpected jolt of tingling he had felt only in his afternoon shower. The gasp broke the kiss, so Dean made his way down to Sam's jaw and neck, searching for a point that could drive the boy crazy.
The patch of skin just under Sam's ear was like a big X on a treasure map.
Sam's body arched so suddenly, it left not just Dean breathless but Sam, as well. The boy didn't even notice when they changed positions, as now he was lying on his back with Dean on top of him. The heat of Sam's blush could've burnt through Dean's skin – and the ceiling.
"W-What's…?" Sam tried to ask, unsure how and why his body is reacting so harshly to such simple touches, but another, a little damp caress on his neck interrupted him. He couldn't do anything but wrap his arms around Dean's torso and hold onto him desperately until he rode the feelings out.
"Can I try something?" Dean whispered huskily and Sam only had enough will not to lose himself to the swirl of pleasure and heat that had consumed him at that tone. Sam nodded vigorously, curious now what Dean wanted to do to him.
Nevertheless, he still tensed the hell up when Dean's whole hand disappeared inside his pants… His boxers…
"Shhh, nothing like that…" Dean started calming the terrified boy, when pulling away he caught the look of fear on the other's face. "Just some… experimenting, okay? Nothing too big… Not yet…"
Dean's words did wonders to Sam's fear that vanished at the sincere tone of that deep voice… up until 'Not yet.' Did that mean Dean wants to have sex with Sam? And if yes, will it happen later in the night or much farther in the future?
While Sam was worrying over hidden meanings and (un)intentional phrasings, Dean's hand ventured even further into "forbidden territory". He had to swallow when his thumb brushed at Sam's half-hard length, so he could wrestle the urge to have the poor boy right here and now into submission. Instead, his fingers traveled further in, feeling Sam tensing up again, but a quick check on his expression assured Dean that it was now realization and – believe it or not – anticipation.
The light touch in the newly discovered area jolted Sam out of his thoughts and he figured out what Dean wanted then and there. He felt immense relief that… sex will be much, much later, but at the same time he just wanted to know what Alex had been feeling downstairs…
What that will be like with Dean…
As fingers brushed at the sensitive spot just behind the "gates", another damp caress – 'a lick', Sam corrected himself – brushed at the spot under his ear. The onslaught of sensations shoved a long, drawn-out moan out of Sam as the now familiar tingle traveled up his spine towards his brain, strengthening when Dean's other, free fingers massaged at it on the way in Sam's lower back.
"Good?" Dean breathed against Sam's neck, blowing at the skin at the same time gently.
"Yes… oh…" Sam gasped out, hips flying up to meet Dean's groin, head turning to the side to give more space. As Dean's hand was unintentionally pressed against the man's body, the next pressure of the fingertips was much harder than the previous one, causing Sam to let out a breathless cry, throwing his head back, mouth open, brow furrowed in an expression of pleasant surprise. This time, a growl followed the outburst, but now it was coming from Dean. The man just caught the expression on Sam's face before it faded into a pleading look followed by:
"Please…"
Dean grunted at the boy's tone as his body froze completely, causing Sam to whine impatiently. A second later Dean relaxed and his fingers began moving again, while his lips returned to Sam's neck. Sam fisted the back of Dean's T-shirt, pulling slightly to guide the full lips onto his own. His mission was accomplished: almost instantly Dean attacked him, kissing the living daylights out of the boy, while the strong fingers relentlessly worked on Sam's ecstasy.
Sam's whole body was tingling now, starting from his groin. It was nothing like the feelings in the shower… So much more than that… The muscles in his stomach began their frantic, but hard spasms, just pushing the pleasure up to higher and higher peaks… Dean now brushed his fingertips up Sam's spine right to the back of the boy's neck, before plummeting down the same way. Sam was shaking now, excitement and arousal fighting and sparring and embracing and… and…
White flash filled up his vision behind his closed eyelids as everything ceased to exist around him… His tense muscles froze in place, his body in a pose otherwise uncomfortable with the arched back and the tight fists… It felt like his body was suspended in air…
It lasted only a moment… But it felt like hours…
Slowly Sam returned to Earth, his limbs relaxing into the mattress, arms sliding off of Dean's body lifelessly. The cogwheels in his mind slowed down immensely, leaving Sam drowsy and – for some reason – satiated. Now he just wanted to close his eyes and sleep in the warmth of Dean's embrace – but there was one thing he had to do.
Sam forced his eyes open to look back at Dean with a drunken smile. The man was gazing at him in concern and curiosity, smirking in reply of Sam's grin.
"So, how was it?" Dean asked his heavy-eyed, astoundingly beautiful lover. Sam chuckled with satisfaction.
"Awesome…" the boy answered, still grinning. "And to think there's still… sex…"
"I heard it's good" Dean snorted, enjoying the state he brought Sam into.
"After this it better be" Sam answered hastily. Dean just shook his head, rolling his eyes.
"Come on, it's sleepy time" he spoke, laying onto his side and pulling Sam against his chest so the boy could rest his head on his shoulder.
"No, it's y-your turn" Dean noticed the nervousness creeping back into his young, naïve lover, so he stopped him quickly.
"It's okay, I'm already done" Dean reassured Sam then continued in a whiny tone:
"Man, you made me come in my pants. I haven't done that since my teenage years. That's not cool."
"Sorry?" Sam replied, but his tone betrayed not only the question but the suppressed laugh, too. Dean poked Sam in the side with a smile, and the boy stuck his tongue out at him. He settled down into Dean's chest, cuddling into the tight hold, before mumbling "Night, night" and falling – practically plummeting – into sleep and bliss-filled darkness. Dean chuckled at "drunken" Sam's antics, seriously considering getting the boy drunk just for a few laughs, before he followed him into dreamland.
A sharp intake of breath and a groan greeted the rays of sun falling through the window. Sam opened bleary eyes, looking around slightly disorientated, before the events of the night returned from their stroll during his sleep. He couldn't help the drunken smile that graced his lips, basking in the memory of that wonderful feeling Dean, who was lying behind him, molded to Sam's back, had shown him.
A sudden flinch brought him out of his daydreaming, as a small pain flared up in his stomach. Bringing his hand to the source of it, his fingers collided with an arm… and with that his mind registered the hand in his pants. Sam blushed furiously, even though Dean's fingers didn't move, just rested on his crotch – thankfully – outside his boxers. As he shifted slightly in discomfort, Dean snorted slightly then burrowed into Sam's back, pressing a tender kiss onto the boy's shoulder-blade. Sam grinned at that, but he had to get up, no matter how much he didn't want to. He had chores to do, after all.
So, he began the long, long process of extricating himself out of Dean's arms without waking the man up. At first he slid down slightly, so the hand slipped out of his pants, to which Dean's fingers wandered onto his stomach. Sam closed his eyes at the pleasant touch, willing himself to stay in reality.
Next came the dislodging of the arm around him. Sam carefully turned onto his back, so the embrace would loosen up. Dean, on the other hand, shifted even closer to Sam at that, sliding his hand up Sam's chest and resting it on the boy's sternum. Sam had to hold his breath back so he wouldn't emit a sound, but inside he was screaming:
'Are you trying to kill me?!'
Finally daring to inhale again, Sam carefully pushed himself to the side and away from Dean, his heart aching to leave the man – and the adorable sight he made – behind. When Dean's hand fell onto the mattress, Sam couldn't help but stay for a few moments just drinking in the peace the other was emitting during sleep.
Memories of last night drifted back into their places with small, inaudible clicks and Sam had to smile from them. Last night was perfect. Dean was such a gentleman, not doing anything more than what Sam was ready for, but giving the boy a wonderful time. He was already excited about their first time together, even though anxiety always accompanied that feeling. However, after what happened, Sam knew that Dean will be tender and loving, guiding Sam through the unknown motions and feelings the boy will encounter on the way.
Sam groaned inwardly as he stood up without a sound, becoming more and more reluctant to go downstairs. However, he had chores to do, so-
His thoughts cut off as another small pain flared up inside him. His hand automatically flew onto his stomach, the source of the pain. The slight horror of the realization wasn't far behind that instinct and Sam quickly turned back to lift the covers and check the mattress. As he moved he felt congealing liquid between his legs, the sheets, though, remained spot- and stainless.
Sam sighed. Now he definitely had to go downstairs before his chores. With that, he laid a kiss onto Dean's blonde tresses then snuck out of the room, locking himself in the servants' bathroom with fresh clothes. He just blessed every deity's name residing 'upstairs' that the clothes from Dean stayed clean.
Sam quickly finished his morning tasks before breakfast. During the cleaning of the dining table, he met Ramon, receiving the job of waking the Master up as soon as possible. Sam jumped at the opportunity to see Dean waking up, blinking sleepily up at the person disturbing his dreams. Sam couldn't wipe the smile off his face at the picture forming in his mind, which didn't help the giddiness bubbling in his stomach since the experiences he had gone through the previous night.
So, when he stepped into the kitchen, hungry and excited to see the older man, he shouldn't have blanched at Alex's sly comment:
"I was right, wasn't I?"
Sam froze in his place, confused by what the other servant could've meant, before the answer crashed into him with the force of a ton of bricks hurtling towards him. He couldn't stop the blush creeping up into his face, but even the embarrassment couldn't diminish the feeling of satisfaction and happiness.
"Shut up" Sam replied in the end, smile at least a mile wide and brighter than the sun. Alex just laughed at him and served breakfast to the servants.
After the meal, Sam quickly found himself in the Master's bedroom, sitting on the bed, eyes lingering on the peaceful expression on Dean's sleeping face. He didn't have the heart to disturb the dreams the man was experiencing, but Ramon explicitly asked to wake the Master as quickly as he can.
With an adoring smile, Sam leaned slightly closer and over the relaxed body, hand hesitantly reaching up and cradling the stubbly cheek. He couldn't help the thrill that ran down his spine at the scratching on his skin.
"Sir?" he whispered timidly, as if he was trying to wake Dean up without waking him up. Sam shook his head at his actions. How stupid is that…? "Sir, you need to get up."
His stronger voice was answered by a groan and some shifting. Sam smiled even brighter, finding the sight just as cute, if not cuter, as he imagined it. He caressed Dean's cheek lovingly then tried again:
"Sir, it's time-"
Before he could finish the sentence, a pair of hands grabbed him and yanked him onto the bed next to Dean… who decided to use Sam as his teddy bear, as he snuggled into the boy's body, groaning in pleasure. Sam blinked a couple times as he stared up at the ceiling, trying to comprehend what just happened.
"Sir…" Sam tried once more, attempting to wriggle out of the tight hold around his torso. He was still clutching at Dean's shoulder, fingers fisting the thin T-shirt, the leverage he found when he was moved so fast and sudden.
"Don' wanna…" Dean mumbled, voice muffled by Sam's neck as the man pressed his lips against the throbbing pulse. Sam felt slightly embarrassed and insanely hot at these turn of events. He had to try again, had to get Dean out of the bed before they would get into trouble, but the puffs of breath against his skin was so distracting and the scent of that damned, not washable cologne was singing to his soul and desire.
All of a sudden, his whole body went rigid, eyes slamming closed, hold tightening on the T-shirt. That feeling, that… thing poking into his hip… Oh, God, what if… what if Dean wanted… He couldn't do this! He had never even done anything like that! Oh, God…
He almost didn't notice the loosening hold around him and didn't dare to look up as Dean leaned over him. He felt like crying, such a wimp for panicking because of something so trivial…
"Dammit, I'm so sorry" Dean apologized quickly, cradling Sam's face with one hand. "I didn't think… I was just… God, I'm such an idiot." A thumb brushed at the skin under Sam's closed eye, wetting it. Sam didn't even notice he started crying.
"It's okay" Sam breathed, ashamed of his reaction. "I was just… surprised, I guess…" He finally looked up and his heart broke at the mournful look Dean was giving him.
"I didn't mean to scare you" Dean spoke, trying to convince Sam. Sam nodded, knowing it now, but it seemed Dean was unstoppable. "I was just joking, you know I wouldn't force you to do anything… Especially not that…" Sam finally leaned up and drowned the rest of the words with a kiss.
"I know" he whispered with a gentle smile. "I forgive you. Not like I'm angry or anything."
"Still…" Dean muttered out with a shrug, but Sam could see he was relieved. "I'm sorry."
"I know" Sam repeated, still smiling. "Now get up! Ramon specifically asked me to do this quickly."
"Alright, alright" Dean grumbled, getting off of Sam and the bed then helping the boy up. Sam boldly leaned forward, but the kiss he pressed onto Dean's lips was still hesitant.
"Go take a shower" Sam murmured, stepping back. "I'll make your bed. When you're ready, breakfast will be waiting for you."
"Thank you, Sam" Dean replied then a smirk appeared on his face. "I could get used to this." He was accompanied to the bathroom by low, genuine chuckles behind him.
The rest of the day went on normally. Only one difference occurred in the meantime: every occasion Sam met with Dean, the older man grabbed him and pressed a sweet kiss onto his lips. These little interruptions left Sam dazed and pleased, humming happily for the next few minutes as he did his tasks.
At dinner, Alex returned from serving up the Master's meal with a strangely mysterious and cheery smile. He looked at Sam as they began setting their table.
"The Master asked me to tell you not to eat too much now" Sam raised an eyebrow at the strange request.
"Why?" he tried, but judging by the smile he wouldn't receive an answer. With a shrug, he finished with the table but did as he was told during the meal. The servants talked for a while lazily, just relaxing after a normal day.
However, as they stood up to get to bed, Alex stopped Sam with a hand on his arm.
"Eight o'clock, balcony of the Dining Room" he murmured then left Sam frozen on the spot. Sam frowned confused, a feeling nagging at him that this had to do with Dean. Maybe the man wanted to talk to him? He glanced at the clock in the kitchen. There was another half an hour until eight. He decided to at least shower and change into clean clothes. He would get his pajamas before bed.
After the shower, Sam made his way up the backstairs, frowning in confusion. Why would Dean want to meet him on the balcony? Although Sam wouldn't have known there was even a balcony if he hadn't wandered through the mansion on one summer night.
He slowly opened the door to the Dining Room, peeking in but nothing strange caught his eyes. He walked inside and only then noticed the drawn-in curtains in front of the glass door. Through the slit, a small streak of light fell onto the tiles of the room and a light breeze moved the heavy cream-colored drapes.
Sam carefully walked to the window and pulled the curtain away. The sight that greeted him made his jaw drop in stunned amazement, the light flickering from the draft he created with the curtain.
The porch was lit up by dozens of little candles strewn across the floor and lined up on the railing. In the middle of it all, a small table was standing proudly, two chairs waiting by its sides for their occupants to take a seat. The table was covered with a pristine-white cloth, a big bouquet of roses in the middle adorning the setting in a light-blue vase. Two plates were on the table – golden-streaked ones, Sam realized in surprise – with perfectly arranged food on them. Sam didn't recognize it, but from the smell wafting around he knew it had to be delicious.
"Oh, hey" Dean spoke, freezing as he turned away from something he was fumbling with on the ground. As the man stood up, Sam saw a CD player behind him and a remote control in his hand. "Is that the time already?"
"What…" Sam forced out, still not finding his breath from the sight. "What's goin' on…?"
"Well" Dean replied, rubbing at the back of his neck embarrassed, "I was considering taking you out on a date for quite a while, but because of… certain… circumstances… I couldn't do that." Sam could tell Dean was getting nervous from his silence, as the words began tumbling out faster. "So, I decided to set the date up here, since there's a nice view and we're outside, and I hope it's not too much, 'cause I've never done anything like this, and I'm rambling now, I'm sorry-"
A hand covered Dean's mouth, shutting off the flow of words gently. Dean was so busy explaining himself – he wasn't even sure, why he did that – that he failed to notice Sam walking up to him with a loving smile.
"It's beautiful" Sam breathed, looking around once more. His fingers slipped off of Dean's lips when the man looked up at him, so he lowered his hand. "Thank you so much…"
"You're welcome" Dean whispered back, mirroring Sam's smile. "Hope you're hungry!"
"Since you told me not to eat too much for dinner, yeah" Sam grinned a little teasingly. Dean just shook his head with a slight blush and didn't answer. They walked to the table and Sam's heart skipped a beat when Dean pulled the chair out for him. Sam blushed ten shades of red as he took a seat and waited for Dean to join him. They dug into the food silently, only Sam's moan breaking the quiet when he took the first bite.
"My God, this is delicious" Sam exclaimed as he hungrily shoved another bite into his mouth, forgetting table manners that were ingrained in him since childhood. Dean chuckled in amusement, making Sam pause, eyes wide and full of shame at his rude behavior. "I-I'm sorry, I'm not usually… I-I just…"
"It's alright" Dean lifted a hand up, stopping the apology. "Not a big deal to get carried away. Although, Alex will appreciate your praise on his cooking."
"He always makes such great meals" Sam remarked with a smile, holding his overly-enthusiastic self back now.
"And it was cute so don't apologize" Dean shrugged with a smirk, drawing a blush onto Sam's face at that. The rest of the meal was spent mostly in a comfortable silence, only some small talk flying back and forth over the table.
As they finished, Sam went to stand up, but Dean stopped him.
"Just sit still, I'll take care of it" the man said picking up the plates and taking them inside. Sam picked his glass up, sipping at the wine slowly, looking out onto the front yard. It was such a beautiful night, the crickets chirping away merrily and the stars twinkling in the sky. He sighed at the tranquility of it all, feeling it infect his soul pleasantly.
"Wanna dance?" Dean's voice snapped him out of the daze. When he turned his head back, he met with a hand held out in front of him. Sam carefully sat the glass down onto the table, blushing at the confession he was about to share.
"I-I can't… can't dance…"
"It's okay" Dean assured him with a hopeful smile. "We're not gonna waltz or do the tango or anything." Sam slowly grabbed Dean's hand and let himself be pulled up to his feet. They walked slightly away from the table and Dean wrapped an arm around Sam's waist, pulling him in close. "I just wanna hold you…" Dean breathed into Sam's ear, pressing a kiss to the boy's cheek. Sam laid a hand onto the man's shoulder, their other hands still holding each other.
Sam suddenly heard a small beep and low music began filling the air around them.
"'Wicked'?" Sam asked slightly incredulous, slightly teasing. "Really?"
"It fits us" Dean answered only. They began swaying, Dean leading Sam's body the way he wanted to move. Soon the lyrics started, the beautiful voice of a woman crooning into the night:
Kiss me too fiercely,
Hold me too tight,
I need help believing
You're with me tonight…
Sam, who had already leaned his cheek against Dean's, eyes closed, felt Dean's lips moving against his skin, mouthing the words into it. Tears began gathering in Sam's eyes at that recognition.
My wildest dreamings
Could not foresee
Lying beside you,
With you wanting me…
And just for this moment,
As long as you're mine,
I've lost all resistance,
And crossed a borderline
And if it turns out
It's over too fast…
I'll make every last
moment last…
As long as you're mine…
The arm around Sam's waist tightened even more at the words. Did Dean really feel that way? The song had a slightly sad undertone… Did Dean fear that this wouldn't last? That he would lose Sam? Sam couldn't blame him, though. He was living with that fear day after day… That Dean would realize that Sam wasn't worth it, his love… Maybe Sam was wrong about that…
A strong voice joined in the serenade, as a man took the lyrics over:
Maybe I'm brainless,
maybe I'm wise,
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes…
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell,
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell…
Sam couldn't help but smile at that. The hold around him was pleasantly firm and heavy. Dean pulled their joined hands onto his heart and Sam felt like crying at the gesture. Instead he just leaned his head down onto the man's shoulder, closing his eyes, enjoying the moment… just like the song said…
Every moment
As long as you're mine,
I wake up my body
And make up for lost time…
Sam knew the next part of the song, so he decided to declare his own feelings to Dean now.
"Say there's no future for us as a pair," Sam whispered into Dean's neck, feeling the shiver on Dean's shoulder. The man's mouth relentlessly lip-synched the song into his hair now, his breath ruffling the brown tresses slightly. "And though I may know, I don't care!"
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine,
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through,
And know I'll be here
Holding you…
Sam's hand was released as they stopped, tender fingers lifting the boy's head up. Dean locked his gaze with Sam's, hazel-green oceans reflecting the candlelight and the emotions in jade-green orbs. Dean began leaning closer, lured in by that beautiful gaze and the love shining in them…
As long as you're mine…
As the last word droned on, lips molded into each other, caressing and tender. Dean slid his hand up Sam's face into the short, growing tresses, combing through them as Sam cradled Dean's neck. Their lips opened up and tongues met halfway, soft strokes sending shivers down their spines. The music ceased to exist around them, dying away with a few silent words at the end of the song. Sam and Dean, however, weren't listening anymore, lost in their own little world.
Moments after the CD player went silent, the pair broke the kiss reluctantly, Dean stealing one more before pulling away. He looked at Sam's face lit golden by the candles and stroked his thumb over the soft skin, just catching a teardrop gliding down the flushed cheek.
"What is it?" Dean asked worriedly.
"It's just…" Sam started, sniffing quietly at the whirlwind of emotions inside him. "For the first time since all this mess… I feel…" Sam finally looked up with a smile, his gaze landing onto Dean's love-filled one, happiness blossoming in his heart. He finally finished with a whisper:
"Free…"
TBC...
So, how was it? Hope it was enjoyable... *winkwinknudgenudge* :D
Thank you for the small ideas you gave me. I'll try to include them in the story (my brain is already working Sadie and Missy into the ground :D), and if anyone else has a request, send it to me and I'll try to put them in, crediting you, of course.
Please, Read and Review! You give me such a confidence boost (and I need it, believe me :().
See you at the next chapter!