"The bridge is too obvious and would be too difficult to prevent an airstrike even if they don't dare risk damaging the bridge itself," Mason stated, pushing that folder aside.

"You're assuming they're not willing to take the bridge down to get to you," Jarod pointed out, sounding far too serious for Darien's taste.

"Oh yay." Darien mock-cheered. "How about less exposed?"

"Well, I have the downtown plan, but it puts lots of civilians at risk unless we do it in the dead of the night, which kind of ruins the point of the whole shebang," she said in a droll tone.

"But is a viable option, truthfully," Jarod stated as he looked over that particular file. "These are quite detailed."

"Can we even maintain a perimeter in that scenario?" Mason asked, looking over at Alyx.

"Yes. Easily, no, but it can be done," she assured them. "I want to do this with minimal staff, there's only so many people I'm willing to risk and fewer that I trust to pull this off. I want to keep most of the Agency guys running interference, not in the thick of things."

"But if we make it too easy they won't buy it, too hard they won't come out to play." Darien looked over the selection of files. "So what about the docks. Split the difference. Yeah, we'll have to cover the water, but it's public enough without snarling downtown traffic. We just have to make it look like we've arranged a boat ride for him is all."

"Which can easily be done," Alyx assured him. "Mason, what say you. This is your death scene we're choreographing after all."

He drank down a portion of the beer next to his hand looking over the choices again. She had listed the pros and cons for each location, rough positioning and manpower and how they intended it to go, though once things had been set into motion what would actually happen would be anyones guess. There was only so much control they could force on the scenario. "How far are you willing to go? Will you kill to make this work?"

"To save your life or anyone on our side? Yes," she answered without hesitation. "I will do whatever is necessary to make this go our way."

Mason nodded slowly, but was looking at Darien, not Alyx. "What?" he asked. "This is not my first rodeo, you know."

"And you've still not had your red test," Mason stated.

"Because he doesn't need one. He's never going to be a traditional field agent and you know it." Alyx's voice was tight. "If push comes to shove, yes, but if he's doing his job right it should never come to that."

Darien began confused, but caught up quickly with what they were not saying aloud. "You want to know if I can kill someone if needed? Have you seen me Quicksilvermad?"

"Darien, you don't need to worry about this. You-" Alyx made a valiant effort to intercede, which Darien ran right over the top of.

"No, I've never killed someone on orders. So what? Not like she-" he stuttered to a halt at the look in her eyes.

"Work, D. I leave it at the door. No, I have not had an official red test. Have I killed in the field? Yes. Am I an assassin? No. And I have no intention of taking on that role for real."

She seemed to be telling the truth and could remember back in Cabo when working with Arnaud that she would only do character assassination, refusing even while under the influence of her darker side to kill for money. Injure and maim, yeah, but not kill. Though with her hacking skills a character assassination would probably be worse for some. He sucked in a breath and blew it out to a slow count of ten, the eyes of the two other men in the room burning into him, waiting to see how he handled this. "Neither of us is very traditional when it comes to the spy business."

"Neither is the Agency," Jarod pointed out. "If you can get through your life and this job without having to kill anyone, by all means do so, but if push comes to shove…"

"I'll shoot first and have the shakes later," Darien stated, knowing it was the truth. If it were someone he cared about versus some bastard trying to hurt them, he'd shoot and aim to kill.

"But you let Arnaud go," Mason pointed out, voice soft, curious.

Alyx snorted.

"Yeah, but trust me when I say death would have been far kinder than what she did to him for me." He looked over at her. "You never want to get on her bad side, trust me on that one."

"So, I've gathered," Mason stated drily. "The docks works for me. Fake boat ride, but how are we actually going to get me out of here?"

"Haven't decided yet. Need to nail down all the details possible first, which we can now do." Alyx stacked the four rejected plans and set them aside. "Research time, boys. Jarod if you would-"

She was interrupted by her cell phone trilling, a tone Darien didn't immediately recognize. She glared at it for an instant then answered with a "S'up, Drake?"

Whatever was being said caused her to frown deeply. "Hold up, Quentin, I'm putting you on speaker."

She lay her phone on the table and hit a button. "Start over."

"Alyx, I have reason to believe the truth is out about Perdue."

"What truth is that?" Darien asked, dread curling up in a hard lump in his belly.

"That he's your father," Drake stated, making it clear he'd known for some time now and that booting him from the office the other day had been pointless.

"How?" Darien growled, wanting to know who let that cat out of the locked bag so he could hurt him.

It was Alyx who responded. "Royce would have the most to gain. Though it could have been any of Perdue's handlers. They all knew the truth. What's the fallout so far?"

"The safe house has been compromised. Can I hope Perdue is secure?"

Alyx glanced at the man in question with a smirk. "Yes, you can. Anyone hurt?"

"No, thankfully. We took your advice and used the recordings, no one was in the building when it was breached and the structure is still sound." Drake sounded as relieved as Alyx looked. "They will be coming after Darien."

"Shit," Darien muttered. "To kill me, or what?"

"Capture, most likely. They'll try to use you to draw him out. Get him to fall on his sword to save you." Alyx tapped a finger on the table top. "Thanks, Drake. I'll call you on the secure line when we've finalized our plans."

"Works. It'll need to be soon. They're coming in from all over and more will move now that this news has leaked out."

"Drake, we need to be leaky too. Make it clear they are estranged and that D is not likely to give a great flying fuck about daddy dearest. Same for Perdue. Tell the world he walked out on his family and left them high and dry. That coming here, now had nothing to do with reconciliation and everything to do with my takedown of Royce."

Jarod nodded at her off the top of her head planning. The more disinformation out there the better. Lies, half-truths, real truth didn't matter. The more confusion the better for their side.

"Will do. Be careful, you two. And set your security to high. If there is the slightest chance they can find your location-"

"Understood. We'll take extra precautions," Darien cut in, not needing the lecture.

"Good enough." And with that the line went dead.

Alyx looked at each of the men in turn. "Our names are in no way connected with this house, or the sale. The phone Drake used is one of my encrypted ones, so unless there was a parabolic mike involved that could get through the jammers running at the office, no one heard that conversation but us. We are as secure here as we can be."

"I've no doubt of that," Mason said. He glanced over at Darien. "I would not let them hurt you, I want you to know that."

Darien sighed softly. "I find that hard to believe given all the crap that has happened to me," he groused. Yeah, he was still mad in some ways, no matter how much he understood his dad's reasoning for staying away. The fact that he had still rankled.

"Son-"

Darien shook his head cutting off whatever placating words his father had intended to say. "Not the time, I know." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He'd tried to let it go the last few days, but every now and then his dad would say something and the anger, and pain and loss would come right back and since he was who he was he tended to snap and then go sullen. He didn't have time to pout and pound the walls, he needed to just suck it up and deal with it. If things went well he and his dad would have the time to work it out later. "Do we have an exit plan?"

"Yes and no," Alyx answered. "Ultimately, Jarod will be getting your father out of town. Where to even I do not know. The getting to the midway point will be handled by moi."

"And I can't know where he's going," Darien grumbled, understanding that what he didn't know he couldn't spill to anyone else.

Jarod shrugged. "I don't see why not. We'll probably head back east. He has family there I thought he might like to meet."

Alyx's eyes went wide for a long moment before sighing in obvious resignation.

"Family? Who the hell do we know back… Oh. Crap. You are insane, Jarod," Darien told him, and given he was currently the resident expert in that mental condition, he'd be the one to know. "Why would you do that?"

"Really? You have to ask that? Are you going to tell me he's not her father-in-law in all but a legal sense?" Jarod said this with a straight face as Darien frowned and Mason looked more than a little confused.

Alyx snorted, damn near spraying the beer she'd just drank all over the three men. "He's not wrong and... and truth be told I will abuse every resource I have to protect them. Why not let your dad acclimate back into the real world with people who won't look at him sideways." She turned to Mason. "If that's okay with you."

Mason looked honestly surprised. "You would do that? Open your home to me? Put your children at risk for me?"

Darien was shocked at the choked up tone in his father's voice, and it took him a long moment to realize that his father had had no one for a very long time. Staying away from all of those who might care about him for fear of putting them in harms way. And now… now here was this veritable stranger opening her home and family to him for no more reason than she considered him part of that family. Granted, with her gifts she had insight into what kind of man he really was, but she had obviously judged him worthy.

"At risk?" Alyx repeated, almost sounding offended. "If this goes like we want you won't be you when you arrive there. You can stay a few days or weeks and take the time to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life, up to and including being nothing more than a doting grandpa to my hellions."

Mason looked from her to Darien and back again. "That serious are you?"

She nodded.

"But you won't marry him?" Mason questioned, clearly wondering why she'd claim family, but not be willing to make it official.

Darien sighed at the sudden look of pain in her eyes even if it touched no other part of her face. "Dad, there are reasons, valid ones and her wanting to be here is worth more than any piece of paper."

Mason sat there silent for several minutes, watching both of them with care before he spoke. "If the two of you are happy, then that's all that matters. This life you two are leading is difficult enough, there is certainly no need make the relationship any more challenging than necessary." He rubbed the top of his head, making his hair stand up in a manner eerily similar to his son's. "Is there any chance I'll be able to get back out to the farm?"

Alyx frowned slightly. "Maybe? I will make certain you get a chance to speak to her again even if it's via video. Going out there at this juncture might put her at too much risk."

"True," Mason agreed with a nod, though he still looked unhappy. "Damn it. I was hoping avoid a mess like this, but it would appear we have no choice."

"None worth bothering with," Jarod stated. "The plan we have worked out," he gave a nod to Alyx who had masterminded the majority of it, "stands the best chance of success."

Mason nodded ever so slightly. "I know, but I prefer being in control of the situation. They've taken that away from me."

Alyx went to him and set a hand on his shoulder. "You will have it back, and when you are ready, you can give us the tools to get back at them… if you wish."

He turned to her. "I'm a soldier, I follow orders. I'm usually not too big on the whole vengeance thing. However, any bit of information that will help keep you and Darien alive I will gladly give to you."

"Works," Darien said, not too thrilled with the turn the conversation had taken. He wanted to, somehow, incorporate his dad into his life, but not as just another source, and yet here Jarod and Alyx were plotting to turn him into an instant grandpa, giving him a family that didn't involve his own son.

It wasn't fucking fair.

"Dare, we are not stealing him from you."

He snapped his head around to glare at her. Of course she heard those thoughts. Of course she'd be upset by them. And of course he'd feel like an idiot for thinking them in the first place once he took a moment to distance himself from the personal. "I know," he barked without taking the time to curb his ire.

"Son, if I could stay I would." Mason looked over at Jarod. "Perhaps another location would be better. Newfoundland is nice this time of year."

Darien shook his head and sighed heavily. "No. I'm just being selfish."

"No, you're not. You just want to be with your family," Jarod stated, sounding oddly morose. "I fully understand that." He cocked his head slightly. "I'm pretty certain you'll get your chance once things settle down."

Mason nodded in complete agreement. "No more running, Darien. I don't how much of a father I can be, but we'll figure it out."

"Better than nothing, I guess."

Alyx thwapped him on the arm. "Stop that. Mr. Depressing over here. He's coming back even if I have hunt him down and drag him here myself." She glanced over at Mason, "Though I doubt that will be necessary."

"It won't be," Mason said in a blatant attempt to placate his son.

Darien's frown only deepened.

"Why is this so hard for you?" Mason asked of his son. "You didn't know I was around till recently, so why does it matter?"

Darien stalked away, running his hands through his hair in clear frustration. "I don't know." He twisted about to glare at his father. "I shouldn't give a flying fuck about you, and yet…"

"You still see him with the eyes of a five year old looking up to his god," Jarod observed, as if he had dealt with the same issues.

Given what little Darien knew about his life, the man might very well have. He nodded slowly, not certain what to say.

"Your view of him will always be colored by your memories, no matter if they are true or created by your perception only." Jarod looked from one man to the other. "It'll take time for that to change… for both of you, but, I promise you, it will."

Alyx shifted over to Jarod and set a comforting hand on his arm, and for once Darien felt no jealousy. Jarod was family and he hurt. Hell, his family was even more messed up than Darien's. Her family, he had to remind himself. People she had never met and quite possibly never would. Little wonder Jarod had grasped onto the new family she had offered him with no strings and with every bit of trust, and Jarod had flourished in it. Even Darien could see the difference.

"Darien-" Mason began.

Darien shook his head. "Her family is my family," he glanced over at Jarod, "all of them and the reverse should be true as well." He stuffed his hands into his back pockets and faced his father. "Sorry, I'm being a selfish shit."

Alyx snickered. "No, you are not. You're being human. And it's nothing you should apologize for." She went to him, bounced up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "Now, Jarod and I have plotting to do so we will take over my office and the two of you can drink and talk." She turned to Mason. "Really talk."

She grabbed a couple beers from the fridge, while Jarod closed her laptop and picked it up; the two of them left the room without another word.

Silence reigned for several long minutes before Mason screwed up the courage to break it. "I could use another beer myself."

Darien nodded, going to the fridge and grabbing a pair of them. He walked past his dad, going outside to sit on one of the chairs, placing both bottles on the table. He popped the tops off of both then waved at his father. "Sit. We might as well do as she suggests or neither of us will hear the end of it."

Mason shrugged and sat, pulling the bottle closer, but not drinking. "I'm not sure what's left to say. You're a grown man, Darien, you don't really have any need of me… of a father, and, more, you don't really want it."

Darien wanted to argue, wanted to feel offended or angry, but in some ways his dad was right. He didn't have any need for a father figure. Had no reason to look up to either the total stranger before him or the remains of the dad he had clung to for so many decades, a fallacy of his young mind and wish fulfillment over long years.

And yet… there remained this part of him that wanted nothing more than to have his father be proud of him and what he had done, or what he would do in the future. But for that to happen he would need to give up his preconceived image of his father and be willing to get to know the man he had become. They both needed to do that, but it would not be easy.

"I.. I'm not sure what to say," Darien muttered under his breath. "I've never been real big on the talking things out thing." Well, that had been true, until Alyx.

"Me either," Mason admitted, drinking some of the beer to cover the discomfiture he clearly felt. "Your mom always wanted to talk once things started going bad, but since there was so little I could tell her…"

"You told her nothing, which just made the whole situation worse," Darien finished, the answer obvious. He and Alyx had some of the same issues early in their relationship, with him being the one wanting answers and her unable to give them. Yeah, he'd played the part of the whiny girlfriend wanting to talk things out. He still sucked at it, as most guys did, but Alyx had been right as usual; he and his dad needed to sort this out before they were forced to go their separate ways.

"I guess… I guess I just want to know if you actually want to spend time getting to know me, who I am now." Darien ducked his head, trying to not let the hope creep into his voice or onto his face, trying to make it seem as if he didn't care one way or another even though he most certainly did.

His dad kept it simple. "Yes, I do."

Darien let out the breath he'd been unconsciously holding and raised his head to meet his father's eyes, his look so serious that Darien damn near shivered in reaction. He nodded slowly. "Cool. Figure it out as we go, I s'pose."

Mason chuckled. "Sounds like a plan. Just no relationship advice, I guarantee mine will be wrong."

Darien snorted, the amusement real. "Yeah, I think me and Alyx can handle it. Thanks."

"No problem. So anything you want to know while I'm here?" Mason leaned back in the chair looking comfortable for the first time all evening.

Darien nodded. "Yeah, your favorite dish."

Mason looked appropriately confused. "Uh, what?"

Darien's lip twitched. "For Thanksgiving. We best start planning now else Grams and Alyx will take it over and there goes beer and football for the two of us."

Mason burst out laughing. "True enough. I'll admit to being partial to sweet potatoes with marshmallows toasted on top. Think that can be arranged?"

Darien nodded, grinning. "I'm certain of it."

. . . . .

"While all deception requires secrecy, all secrecy is not meant to deceive." Modern philosopher Sissela Bok had a keen grasp on lies and deception, which had a definite place in my life as both a thief and spy. That said I expected to be the one telling lies, not the one being lied to.

.

The room was still dark when Darien opened his eyes. He lay still, not certain what had caused him to awaken so long before the dawn. He could smell salt water and hear the faint crash of waves, which meant something had to be open. Window or balcony door were the only available options in this room and while they did often sleep with the windows open they had not tonight. He rolled onto his side, not surprised to discover her half of the bed empty.

He sighed softly. Yeah, he'd hoped he'd get more than one night with her sleeping more than a couple hours, but had not really expected it. He glanced at the clock in the headboard, the lighted digital numbers revealing it to be 0230, mere hours after they had crawled into the embracing comfort of the bed and fallen into slumber. Well, he had anyway. It was quite feasible she had simply laid there, her mind unable to slow enough to allow her to actually sleep.

Usually she didn't give up her efforts quite so quickly.

He tossed off the covers and padded across the cool wood floor in his bare feet. The curtains at the french doors shifted in the night time onshore breeze. At least she'd remained nearby instead of heading downstairs to her geek-cave. He stopped in the doorway to see her leaning on the railing, chin balanced on her hands as she seemed to gaze out across the yard. As he came around her he realized her eyes were closed, her face a mask of deep concentration and concern.

"Sweets?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to disturb whatever was going on in her mind at the moment. It could be life or death for all he knew.

She shuddered, straightened and opened her eyes to meet his. She said nothing, just moved to him and wrapped her arms about him, holding on as if for dear life. He froze for a moment before curling about her, cheek resting atop her head so that her curls tickled his brow and chin; arms pulling her in tight, giving her the support and comfort she seemed to need right now.

After several minutes he released her and stepped back just far enough to set his hands on her shoulders. "How bad?" He knew it had to have been a dream, though whether a Quicksilver dream or far more normal nightmare would have to be determined with some careful and cautious questioning.

She shrugged. "Bad enough to wake me up to escape it."

"Anything I can do?" He encouraged her to tip her head up so he could look her in the eyes. They always reminded him of cat's eyes in the darkness, not the iris shape, but the way they seemed to glow and reflect the minimal light available, which, admittedly, was probably an accurate comparison given her night vision had been tested as off the human charts. She saw things that no human had been intended to and had somehow remained sane through it all. Barely, now and then, but overall with her sanity and sense of self intact.

"Distract me until it goes away?" she suggested, her tone making him realize it would be to distract him as well. She did not want him to ask for details, did not want to tell him what the dream had been about. Or, more likely, whom the dream had been about.

"We're not going to get him out of this, are we?" Not that the odds had been all that great to begin with, but he'd had hope that they would pull off a miracle and save the day like they usually managed to do.

She looked up at him in confusion. "Your dad?" Darien nodded. "He'll be fine," she assured him. "Jarod being nearby screws with my head, is all. Lots of memories swirling about in here," she tapped the side of her head, "and not all of them are mine. His life before he escaped is one I would wish on no one and fear will happen to my kids if things go sideways."

Darien felt like an idiot. Yeah, his dad might be the mission they were most focused on, but there was so much more going on at the same time. Alyx poking sticks into some very nasty hornet's nests; Jarod, still on the run from The Centre, in town, which would bring his trackers, that Miss Parker, here eventually. Darien had no clue how Alyx kept all the threads separate and prevented them from becoming tangled into one giant knot that would defy being anything but a whole ever again. Still she did, trying not to allow the lines between this and that to become blurred. She set goals, shoved the unneeded out of the way and focused on nothing more than moving from point A to point B to point C, etc.

They'd bought this house to give themselves and those they cared about a safe haven, but had clearly forgotten that having so many under one roof would impinge on her awareness no matter what. She could not block everything; dared not as it would be detrimental to her health. And right now with her trying to heal at an accelerated pace, she'd be pushing those connections even more than usual. With his dad it wasn't that big of a deal, but Jarod had a permanent attachment with her that neither of them could stop. Little wonder she dreamt of The Centre tonight.

"Want to go for a walk? The beach might be far away enough to let you disconnect for a while."

She shook her head. "You need to sleep."

"So do you," he countered. He could feel that need burning through her, though her mind clearly had refused to settle and allow it. "You need an off switch." He kissed her on the tip of her nose and was rewarded with a tiny smile.

"Tell me about it," she muttered. "I could drug up, I suppose. That'd get me a few hours of unconsciousness."

"But not any real sleep." He stepped away, settling on one of the lounge chairs they'd put out here. The rear balcony ran the length of the upper story, their bedroom overlooking the pool area and creating the covered area off the back of the house. For a second he let his mind wander to how he would decorate for the holidays. Tiny white lights outlining every inch of the rear balcony and first floor porch. The place would glow with white light, mimicking the shine of moonlight off snow covered ground.

"D," she laughed. "Christmas decorations?"

He ducked his head. "Hey, it'll be the first Christmas in our home. I want to create some serious memories for us." Yeah, he had owned the house up in Cold Springs for a couple years, but he'd never considered it home, not like this house. Their home.

She walked over to stand before him, one hand wending its way into his hair. "Then may I suggest mixing blue in with the white and springing for those LEDs, they'll last longer and are smaller. And I should be able to rig a control system to them. Make 'em dance if you wish."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss the skin he bared above her right hip, where the scar from gunshot number one that she had acquired at the Agency was located. She taken the bullet protecting his back, making certain he'd get away unharmed and then had damn near bled out keeping him from going Mad on the drive home. She'd been watching his back from the moment they'd met and he could not be more thankful for that. To know there was someone who would be there for him no matter what, no matter when had made a huge impact on his life and sense of self.

What's more he wanted to be there for her. Wanted to be able to hold her and help her and grow old with her. And this was all personal.

Darien knew Bobby had his back and was his friend, same with Claire, but outside of work their connections lessened. Yes, they were friends, yes they hung out and did stuff outside of work together, and, yes, he loved them, but he wasn't in love with them. They were part of his life, but not the biggest part.

Alyx had him, mind, heart and soul.

And right now she needed him. Needed him to listen and pay attention and not be what she had asked for: a distraction.

"You need to talk. Question is: can you talk to me?" He slid the shirt higher, lips trailing along the curve of her waist up to her ribs. A bit of distraction to ease the sting of facing what needed to be done.

She sighed softly. A hand curling about the back of his neck and resting there, just enough energy leaking from her to make the hairs nearby to stand up in response. "But I want distraction." Her other hand found his cheek and lifted his head, lowered hers to press her lips against his.

He allowed it for a few minutes, the touch light and gentle and teasing, but not what she truly needed. He pulled away first and buried his face against her stomach, wrapping his arms about her and pulling her closer. "Talk. Please."

"Don' wanna," she mumbled into his hair as she folded about him, enjoying the slow, delicate movements of his hands across her skin.

He debated the merits of pulling away completely versus tickling the conversation out of her, but decided against both. The steady contact might be just what she needed to tell him why she'd awoken from a dream that disturbed her enough to leave bed and seek solace in the night air. "Tell me anyway," he whispered against her skin, the shirt pushed up far enough for him to see the collection of scars she'd earned over the years. Sadly, most had been since coming to the Agency. They would fade in time, but not the memories. One hand skimmed across her upper back, the skin rippled and twisted beneath his palm. The result of yet another bullet, one that had shattered so completely that it had taken multiple surgeries to remove all the bits left behind.

She groaned softly as he dug his fingers in with enough force to gauge exactly how tense she had become, which was very. "I'm afraid," she admitted.

"Of what?" He continued his gentle manipulations with both hands and lips even as she became even more tense. Her back feeling like steel beneath his fingers.

"Of becoming more like Jarod." Now that was unexpected. Jarod had been instrumental in creating a solution to her persona issues. The control program gone and those other hers absorbed, the skills each had intact and usable by Alyx. So much had changed during those weeks, and she'd told him so very little of what had actually occurred there. Of what she had been forced to do in order to survive and not give The Centre any more than she had to.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Granted he did not know the man well, but Alyx trusted him and had treated him like family almost from the get go. That had been good enough for Darien. Once he'd gotten past his jealousy issues, that is.

"He's a good man at heart, but he's also… dangerous. The things he's capable of…" She stiffened for a long moment and he waited patiently for her to continue, sensing that prompting her to go on would do the exact opposite. "They stripped away as much of him as they could and turned him into a human weapon. His sims have killed so many people…"

"Which is not his fault," Darien reminded her, needlessly he was sure, but he'd said it more to prove that he believed it to be the truth as well.

"I know. But he's standing on a ledge and I worry that one day he'll fall and then the whole world will discover what he truly is. A benevolent dictatorship it would not be." She sounded truly worried for her brother and he couldn't blame her. She had stood on that very ledge herself and knew from experience what happened when one fell.

Darien had never been an idiot, and being with the Agency and Alyx had opened his eyes to a reality that far more belonged in the pages of a science fiction novel than his life, so it didn't take him long at all to follow the dotted line she'd laid out before him.

"And what about you? Do you still stand on that ledge?"

She shuddered in his hold as if she had hoped he would not figure it out, or at least not quite so quickly. "Yes, I do. But I have help nearby if I fear I may jump."

"So does Jarod." He looked up at her and she cupped his cheeks in her hands. "He's part of you, are you telling me you wouldn't know if something happened that might push him over?"

She closed her eyes, a pained look crossing her delicate features. "Knowing does not mean I'd get there in time to help."

Ah, so that was her true concern. Losing any chance of a safety net. And it had always been a risk, though less so now that she no longer had programming fucking with her mind. Then again with the limiter turned off, no one knew what she might be capable of. Splitting California off from the rest of the US did not seem quite so impossible. But then it became not a could she but a would she, and he did not think she would. Well, not without good reason, anyway.

"Sweet thing, and this is not me dismissing your concerns, I promise, but shouldn't you be talking to him? If this is what you're picking up from him then it is clearly something he's concerned about, if only subconsciously." He sat up straight to give her a quick kiss. "He's not used to having family that cares, or one that lives in his head. He will not be angry with you."

She frowned ever so slightly. "His life is so much rubble that he's trying to piece back together, only he never saw the blueprint. He was raised in a box, literally, and spent the vast majority of his life being other people." She sighed softly and turned away. "I don't want to chase him away."

Darien sat quietly for a few moments before answering. "Ever think he fears the same?" He shook his head when she snapped her head about to look at him in surprise. "You two are so alike it's eerie. And both so damaged because of what you are."

She snickered. "I could say the same about you and your dad. You two have some identical mannerisms, which means you latched onto them when you were very young."

"And how did this become a discussion about my family probs and not yours?"

"I know you're fighting that image you have in your head of him, right? Trying to reconcile it against the reality?"

He nodded, wondering where she was going with this line of thought.

"Ever think he has the same problem? He may have been watching, but that's not the same as knowing why you made the choices you did." She shifted to grasp both his hands within her own. "He's a good man, Darien, he's simply afraid that he doesn't deserve any happiness after all he has done. Line of duty or not. Some sins cannot be exorcised so easily."

Oh, now if that wasn't an interesting observation. And it was true enough he supposed. Darien had his share of regrets, though few involved his former profession, which he had loved doing, but for mistakes when it came to family. Kevin had hated that Darien was a thief; so Darien had kept his life as far away from his brother's as possible to not have to hear the interminable lectures of how he was wasting all he was capable of.

"Huh, wonder if Kev knew I was the smart one?" Darien asked softly, not expecting a response.

"Of course he did," Alyx stated. "Why else would he spend so much time extolling on your lack of motivation."

Darien felt stunned. She had known that Kevin had known and never thought to mention it to him. "Alyx-"

"D, his last words to you kinda give it away. Plus we talked a bit when he visited. He was trying to help, he just went about it the wrong way. Admonishment never works with you, you get all stubborn and rebellious, but challenge you? You light up like a Christmas tree and dive in with enthusiasm." She tapped him on the nose.

Her words held the truth in them and he could now see how that very knowledge had been used to manipulate him over the years. Hell, that was how Peter had gotten him into college working towards a medical degree. He'd liked it well enough, found it interesting if boring, but the great shining star Kevin Fawkes and constantly being compared to him once discovered he was the younger sibling made that limited interest wane quickly. The challenge of getting into an uncrackable safe far more his cup of tea.

"Great, do all my friends manipulate me this way?" He knew he sounded angry and discouraged, but she didn't allow it to faze her.

"Probably. We all try to coach things in ways that'll get others to do what we want. Bring up his meds and Bobby folds instantly. Claire thinks she's always right, we just have to let her believe she is." She cocked her head slightly to the side. "Shall I go on?"

Darien wanted to argue with her, but every word she had said was nothing but the truth and he'd used those manipulations himself more than once. And, he had to admit, he'd used what he knew of Alyx to encourage her to do what he wanted many times. It wasn't good or bad, it just was. Something that happened when you actually learned who a person was deep down inside.

He let his irritation flow away like the tide ebbing back out to sea. "Think you can sleep now?"

"Maybe?" she responded, lowering her head to run her cheek alongside his, the stubble surely rough against her skin.

He shifted back drawing her down onto the lounge chair with him. Her curled between his legs, head laying on his chest. "Rest, at least. I'll chase the dreams away for a while."

"But what about you," she mumbled, her body already relaxing in his gentle hold.

"I'll take a nap later. Now hush and sleep." His set his chin atop her head, a gesture of comfort that had become common for him and one he knew would help ease the chaos swirling in her mind.

She sighed softly, but didn't comment, the beat of his heart acting as a focus, like counting sheep, and allowing her mind to clear for a the few precious seconds needed for her to slip into the Land of Nod.

He felt anything but tired, her words bringing up serious concerns for his father. His family, his life was also rubble, much of which he'd created himself. How was he supposed to build it back up when so many of the pieces were gone?

Darien didn't know, but hoped that the two of them could maybe do it together.