Restful sleep was a strange rare visitor to Lelouch, especially after the two weeks that passed since then. Most nights were spent furthering a ploy or developing a strategy against upcoming confrontations. At best he may earn a mere 2 hours to rest, given that the times permitted such. During such moments, even those gracious visits were plagued by horrid nightmares. Such vivid conjures based on the countless massacres and slaughter that colored his rebellion. Flashes and cracks from gunfire and cannon barrage flurried the visions composed within a bloodstained scope. Bodies plummeted from the sky around him as limbs separated or melted away; screams echoing without fail for either help or a quick painless death. The faces were so distorted and damaged, and the remnants of attire barely distinguishable between Britannian and Black Knight. Lelouch could only describe this as a real hell.

Every time, Lelouch could not muster the courage to adorn a mask for endearing the suffering around him. His emotionless expression lay bare as he was forced to march atop those countless corpses as the brutal campaign's commander. Showing emotion was a way to sway the morale of an army, whether that be beneficial or detrimental. Thus he could not condone such worries or regrets. His demeanor, even at the cost of his humanity, must remain constant with pride, ambition, and determination as an ideal leader. Each sleight of hand dealt death like a swarm of ants devouring the plains, and each command issued mechanized suits to bombard the land into oblivion.

With each step, the visions became more corrupt and bloody with no end in sight. The horror never stops as he must carry on. Even at the end when he could finally wake up, he eventually finds himself before two figures bound to one another. Just one of the two was always clear, and that person was weeping heavily. The body shook violently in her lament, and the other body in her hand rocked lifelessly along. Blood poured easily with each motion just before the first turns back around. That girl could be distinguished based on her clothes, those from Ashford Academy, and by the tainted orange hair clung to her body by the blood. He could barely make out the figure she clung to, though he was obviously from the Britannian forces.

Lelouch would not move at this point- all his prowess and mightiness failed him upon reaching this threshold. He could not weave nor blurt any words out of his conniving mouth. He could not direct commands towards her like he done before to the droves of soldiers in his ranks. He could never again do such a thing to this girl. At the same time he could neither offer condolences nor offer his remorse. His emotionless expression the only item he could afford her.

The girl laid the dead father at her feet before he dissolved into a red pool, thus leaving her alone in this world. Her tilted head wobbled from her labored breathes caused by her grief. In her hand she was armed with his pistol, blood adorned along its frame like roses. The gun was lifted and pointed at his direction, its sight focused on his head. Lelouch cannot move. Even if he could, he would refuse to. Even as her body turned to confront him, Lelouch dared not try to move.

That beautiful face became revealed by a faint distant light caused by an explosion, giving measure to their distance. Tears cascaded down her cheeks without fail, her body trembled with the intensity of a tremor, her hands attempted to keep the gun aligned to her father's murderer. She was very unstable but Lelouch knew she was able to inflict him what he deserved. Beyond those unyielding tears he could make out those unique emerald eyes so sincere and dramatized by events leading to this point. If he was able, he would be moved to tears himself at this very sight. At the end, when he deserved to die, he would be surprised at the abrupt smile that graced her expression every time. While alive his eyes followed the faint forming words she spoke-

"I love yo-"

*BANG*

Lelouch awoke with a pained yelp from the nightmare. His frantic eyes scanned his bedroom to recall where he was, then his eyes followed down to his body. His fingers checked every part to ensure he was fine, as though the nightmares were capable to inflicting physical harm. Probably because of all the warfare he participated in, this became the routine after everything he could find to sleep.

His eye strained against the ray of bright light shining through the opened window beside his bed. He cursed these taxing nightmares, not only were they damaging his mind but they were also hindering his ability to prepare for morning class six minutes from then…

Time seemed to last forever once the midday break was signaled by bell chimes. Despite his horrendous stamina and lack of sleep, Lelouch managed to maintain his student persona to an extent (though of course he would not pay attention to class). He was always thankful his was even a seat near the window; even if he managed to slip into slumber, the sunlight would be sure to give him a wake-up call.

These short breaks granted students enough time to visit the nearby cafeteria in order to refuel their bodies, especially in the caffeine and protein department. Such stimulation was exactly what kept Lelouch going through most of the days. However, on this day he was only able to manage standing a moment before noticing that to his right, Shirley was draped over her desk in obviously deep slumber. Lelouch fought back a chuckle at the sight, considering that he frequented this act more than anyone. Of course this was a rare sight- Shirley was not the type to slack off, especially during class. She maintained a proper model expected of students, the archetype that Lelouch could only reflect in regards to marks and grades, not study nor behavior. The brooding case from those two weeks ago was proof that something troubled her.

Lelouch slid past her slouched form to stand at her front, then with careful ease nudged her shoulder to wake the girl up. He took caution to use mild force so he may avoid her aggravation (as he recalled her punches seem to have deadly force). A few repeating attempts earned a moan from her as she rose slightly, her eyes blinked in dull succession in attempt to comprehend the situation.

"Hmm?" was the only intellectual response that came from her mouth.

Lelouch was forced to spread his legs apart as Shirley stretched her legs out, as though to rid gathered sores from sitting so long, then he moved his hand back before she started to rotate her shoulder blades and neck. Instead that hand rested atop her desk, though he casually draped it over her resting hand. An amusing grin crept along his face as he observed that drowsy visage.

"Wakey wakey," Lelouch chided in a playful manner then rubbed her hand, as though scorning a sleeping child. The action quickly gained her attention; that hand nervously shook beneath his and her gaze focused at the sight.

"Oh no," Shirley responded in kind with a mere chuckle. Her off-guard expression slipped into her own smile before long. "I think I'm turning into you."

The redirection earned her a smirk as he was well-aware of that insult (how many times he slept in class was beyond count). In a fluid motion, his comforting hand slipped below hers in an offer to assist her in standing. Shirley took no time to accept the offer and heaved herself up. Despite the insecurity of them holding hands for the first time, she hesitated to let go of him in a shy withdraw.

To no surprise the rest of the school day managed to fade away too quick for Lelouch to recall. Classes were kept prompt and according, assigning homework and hosting discussions about upcoming activities. These activities of course included the student council meeting which took place very last (so Milly could capture all the "juicy" gossip throughout the day, surely). Alas Lelouch excused himself from taking part in this so he may maintain surveillance and command of the Black Knights during dire straits, something he could not simply let that 'lap dog' Villetta handle alone. Despite the necessity, Lelouch really was not prepared to anticipate the undeniable punishment set for him by the President later down the road…

Ignoring such trivial matters, Lelouch kept keen to the reports summarizing the last few raids. Everything showed favorable towards Zero as the alliance with the Chinese Federation yielded more ground and better settlements, courtesy of Xingke and his fervor battalion expanding onshore. Those brave acts alone also helped bolster support from independent factions throughout China, thus expanding influence and increasing firepower. To go in hand with such, even the Black Knight regiment itself found little opposition from Britannia as of late, easily regaining former territory in the north, a bonus in the fact there were minor casualties. In fact even Rolo and his spy network system managed to syphon more data pertaining to the Geass research and development that supported Jeremiah's claims and experience.

Lelouch looked beyond such information though, as his next objective became imperative on a personal scale. He needed to reanalyze his standing with Shirley. The simple fact that Shirley was hindered so much in the past by his cursed abilities merited a raid on the discovered research despot, codenamed Geass Directorate, found hidden within the Chinese desert. His vendetta expanded more to cover her losses- a reason to remove Geass in full from existence and directly confront the Emperor who apparently frequents the site.

Leaving such thoughts aside, Lelouch put the report sheets down on the desk and resigned into his chair, taking in the low hum of servers working endlessly at his side. This was one of the few places available to him to relax, the chambers fixed into the small base of operations below the school library. His hand covered his eye as he looked to the bland ceiling.

How am I going to make this up to her?

Lelouch managed to return back right at the end of the council meeting, quite evident as several familiar characters filed out of the room. He had to adorn his best mask to avoid discord from Milly, who was eager to swing her executioner axe at his head for missing the meeting. By the time everyone left, he only then realized Shirley stayed distant at the entrance while Nina and Suzaku scrolled idly through the magazines and scriptures that were the focus of the meeting. Lelouch could not ignore the somehow intense aura that seemed to emit from Shirley's obvious scrutiny of him. He wondered to himself who's was worse: hers or Milly's.

Again his attention remained half-met during the meeting summary from Milly as he found himself glancing towards Shirley's lingering stance, ever present near the door. Anger appeared prominent in that pose, though it may be subdued by some sense of curiosity to where he'd been before (as Rivalz attended the meeting thus no gambling scheme). Somewhere during the now pointless derail of gossip garnished solely by the President, Shirley exposed her exhaustion in a sigh and slump before she left the room, her tired hand trailing along the doorframe. This was a momentary action, but a beacon flashed in Lelouch's mind to signal interest in whatever troubled her lingering acts.

Granted, Lelouch was forced to drop such thoughts when Nina and Suzaku were dragged along into the useless rabble forced upon him. Although he obliged with few words and revel at a suggestion or two, his mind still found its way towards that troubled girl…

One week later, his mental and physical health was placed on critical alert after the gruesome and revealing campaign to annihilate the Geass Order. The strain from the enduring thought of massive slaughter, murder of innocent children put into experiment, the revelation of his mother's deceit to support the Emperor and her ploy, C.C.'s impetuous resolve to die- the sheer amount of anguish pushed him to the limit.

Alas Lelouch found the will to adequately sort and resolve certain matters while he traversed around, always living up to the expectations of a grand tactician. The very fact his discrete mask remained unbroken was a testament to that accomplishment. After all, while as a student this was best time to act aloof intentionally.

Shirley was the first to meet Lelouch upon his desolate return, granted she found no way to confront him about his sullen demeanor. On his routine walk to the underground base he encountered her sitting at the desk near its entrance, carefully hidden within the unknown reference section of the library. Shirley seemed indulged in a heap of texts that acted as a castle; surely to hide the fact some girlish romance article was being read (assumedly frequented). Rather he would be surprising himself to the extent that he's known Shirley and tried to learn more about her.

The moment her name escaped his lips, she became a fumbling wreck as she tried to hide what appeared as a lollipop buried in her mouth- of course toppling that wonderful fortress in her wake. Lelouch chuckled at the act: Shirley was a kid caught in the act of hiding a precious item while trying to play that off. He would have laughed if he found himself capable, but he kept his demeanor fast and waved to her. Her desperation quickly dissolved as she realized her invader was her friend, and her feature scowled.

"Geez, don't sneak up on me like that," Shirley hissed while she gave a quick jab to his arm. Lelouch offered an intentionally sarcastic cough in an attempt to hide his smirk.

"Can we talk?" Lelouch inquired just after lessening his amusement (to avoid any further of her anger). His lanky form wouldn't withstand much more of her type of punishment.

Shirley scrutinized him under a curious expression, her eyes narrowing at his sudden proposal. She must have been contemplating why after such a long, unexplained hiatus from school why Lelouch would approach her. Or how she could further torment him on that fact. Either way, the worst case became apparent as she did not offer any response.

His eyes caught the motion of that candy being unraveled from its rapper, the stick twirling between her fingers as she brought it to her lips. She took a prolonged lick along its curves then brushed those lips against the surface, as if polishing its shimmer. The cherry flavor became obvious as the hue brightened her skin. He couldn't deny that some desire inside him burned to think about tasting that remnant on her lips, so easily was that scene a month ago formulating in his thoughts.

I mustn't. I mustn't. I mustn't.

"Sure."

Shirley's abrupt response was to the point, thus bringing Lelouch out of his stupor. He required a moment to clear his mind and throat. The best course of action was to move away from such wanton thoughts before undesirable results occurred.

"I was wondering what homework assignments were due this week."

His impromptu request seemed to faze Shirley, evident by the decreased interest that once peaked on her face during a moment ago. She probably didn't consider he would think of homework at a time like this.

"There aren't any new assignments for any class really, but we are supposed to be working on our history thesis you know," Shirley informed in prompt status as she returned her gaze to him. Some interest appeared to arise once more in consideration. "What civilization are you going to research?"

Lelouch took the moment to settle into an opposing chair, shuffling the pillars of material aside so his view of Shirley became clearer. "Proletariat uprisings and their effects on monarchic structures."

Lelouch's statement came off ironic of course, considering his position as Zero in the current war, the pinnacle of coincidences on the subject. Shirley must have found that answer obvious as well, giving off a groan before composing her gesture.

"The destruction of, you mean." Shirley retorted to Lelouch's surprise. He left his consideration on hold as he waited for her explanation, his eyebrow raised in interest.

"Think about it," Shirley expanded once she took on his motive, "it's the civilian population that winds up begin most affected, seeing as it's one of the major things that keep the number of people down in one fell swoop."

In all honestly, Lelouch was thrown off-guard by the complexity and summary given. He clearly didn't extend the amount of appreciation this girl deserved. Despite such gratuitous prose, it was still flawed. "Revolution has a price." The famous epithet came to his aid which surely encapsulated the aftermath gained by the rebellious leader so many years ago.

"That's a scary thought, don't you think?" Shirley countered once more and learned her head on a supporting arm, her other busy twirling the candy in his fingers. "The ones starting these conflicts can end up losing everything in the process and may not see what happens in the end."

Lelouch forced a smile towards the pinpoint precision at that view. He refrained from pointing out the obvious facts in that statement. He offered a quiet resignation to her as he continued to glare. The exposition hit his core rather hard, the reality of Zero's goal brought into the light. Lelouch sat in silence and stared at his aspirations sitting in front of him.

In the end, I may not see what happens. Even to you.