ULTIMATE DISCLAIMER IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!
ULTIMATE WARNING IN PROFILE AND CHAPTER 1!
AU, OOC, SLASH!
Hey, guys! Sorry for the long wait, I was very busy and my muse was very picky. But I finally got to this story, too. WHEW!
Okay, so this chapter is a bit angsty, everyone dealing with their problems. And on that note, from what I saw on the show, Dean has every right to feel the way he feels in the end of this chapter. Just saying.
Oh, and that movie was the first that popped into my head. Hope you don't mind!
Alright, enjoy!
Sam's first thought, as he woke up, was that Harry left him, because Sam was lying on his back with his arms spread. However, before he could panic, he felt the slight indentation of the mattress at his side. Opening his eyes he found Harry's curled up form: he was sitting with his legs pulled up to his chest. One arm held the thighs close tightly under the knees, his chin resting on them. The other arm was lying next to him on the blanket, fingers dancing around on the soft material aimlessly. The messy ebony tresses stood to every direction. Sam noticed that the side of the boy's face in front of him was flushed; Harry probably slept on that side the whole time. Sam carefully sat up next to the boy, who seemed oblivious of him.
"What's wrong, gorgeous?" the young man murmured, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders.
"Please…" Harry breathed suddenly. "Don't…"
Sam frowned in confusion, but didn't move.
"This is just a dream" the boy breathed, like he was trying to convince himself. "A beautiful dream that I have to wake up from, but I don't want to…"
Sam began shushing his lover and pressed a kiss onto his temple.
"This is not a dream" he whispered and turned Harry's head towards himself.
"Help me forget!" Harry pleaded. His glinting emeralds shattered Sam's heart. "I want this to be real so much, but I'm terrified… Help me, please…"
Sam felt a sharp stinging in his eyes, as his tears gathered in them. He kissed Harry carefully and softly, who collapsed into his arms. The young man put all of his emotions into this kiss, making it strong but gentle. Soon he pulled away and Harry looked up at him.
After a slight pause, Sam slowly disentangled his lover from his curled up pose and lowered him onto the bed. Harry whimpered in fear, laid his arms next to his head as if someone held his wrists down then he turned his head away, revealing his neck and thrumming pulse. Sam just stared in horror at the sight: it was obviously forced onto the boy. Finally he straddled his lover, careful not to lower himself onto the trembling body under him. Leaning forward he wrapped the boy's lithe arms around his own neck then turned the pale face back up. Terrified emeralds glanced up at him, whitening the delicate features some more. Sam tenderly pressed his lips to his lover's; he felt Harry grasping his locks fearfully, so he pulled away.
Harry shut his eyes tightly, when he felt the other's lips on his, the old habits and the memories breaking out to the surface. However, when the man – in his eyes the one who hired him – pulled away, he looked up confused. Two hazel-green irises were glinting in the middle of a hazy face, filled with kindness, understanding and – oddly – unadulterated love. In that moment the haze cleared up: chestnut-brown, shoulder-length locks, straight nose, almond-shaped eyes, thin, curved lips, strong jaw – full of kindness and love. Harry then understood: his past life can finally come to an end to give way to a new, better one. His eyes widened from understanding then a smile bloomed on his face: he was flooded with happiness.
As soon as he saw the smile of enlightenment, Sam returned it. The next thing, though, came as a surprise for him: Harry quickly but gently pulled him down into a kiss. His shock didn't last long: he embraced his lover and turned the kiss into a more passionate one. Soon Harry tightened his hold on the brown locks, giving his message that was answered immediately: Sam deepened the kiss. Long minutes passed by them when a knock came from the door.
"Come in!" Sam called out, pulling away from Harry, but he didn't lift himself up. The boy rested his forehead against his lover's neck, closing his eyes in relief, as the door opened.
"Am I interrupting something?" Dean asked peeking in. One of his eyebrows lifted up as the man took in the sight of his brother.
"Not if it's quick" Sam answered. Harry huffed out a laugh at that and the arm around him tightened; Sam felt the grin on the boy's face.
"I'd like to ask about the movie" Dean said.
"We're going" Harry spoke up. The brothers turned to him with the same question in their eyes at the same time. "And yes, I'm sure" the boy answered patiently.
"Okay" Dean grinned. "We're leaving at seven. Until then, behave you two!" the man closed the door, leaving the lovers alone.
"You're feeling alright now?" Sam asked with a little worry.
"I need some time" Harry answered honestly, "but I'm a thousand times better. Thanks to you."
"Glad to help" Sam smiled then looked at the clock. "We should start getting dressed. We're leaving in half an hour."
The four of them arrived half an hour before the beginning of the movie. Kyle jumped out of the car excitedly: he hasn't been in a cinema for a long time and he couldn't wait to experience it again. Dean stepped out with more elegance, but the same amount of anticipation. Sam unfolded his long legs from the seat, careful not to bang his head into the door frame. Harry got out of the car watchfully; the descending sun reflected off of his glasses. The boy joined his lover, who immediately wrapped an arm around the slim waist.
"Everything okay?" Sam asked worriedly.
"Yes" Harry lowered his eyes. "I'm just excited. I've been in cinema only two times, escaped more exactly, although no one knew about it or caught me."
Sam noticed that after the fearful then confident voice Harry changed his tone to a much softer and kinder one. It floated into the young man's ears with silky caresses to his mind. It always drew a dreamy smile onto Sam's lips and a slight blush onto his cheeks. He only heard the boy talk like that one other time: on the day of the change in the boy's appearance.
His thoughts were cut off by Kyle's excited laugh breaking out. The others noticed gladly that the liveliness and good mood returned slowly to the boy. They started towards the mall, Sam and Harry in each other's arms, while Kyle linked his arm with Dean's. Sam saw the blush on his brother's face at the public affection, but he accepted the gesture with a small, relieved smile. Soon they were at the cinema, the tickets in Dean's hands.
"Alright, we still have some time" the man spoke. "Do you want to eat something or have some business to do?"
"I'm just really curious, what we're gonna see" Kyle replied. Harry nodded with a smile.
"What do you think, Dean?" Sam asked with a mischievous smirk. "Should we tell 'em?"
"Pleeeease!" Kyle whined, causing the others to laugh. It seemed Harry's cheekiness moved into Kyle and vice versa.
"I don't know…" Dean trailed off, deep in thought. However, Kyle sent him a look that would beat a puppy in a competition of adorableness, hands down. "Oh, fine" the man surrendered almost instantly.
"That was pathetic, Dean" Sam rolled his eyes.
"Shut up!" Dean snapped back at him playfully. "I swear you started a course on these looks!"
Sam just shook his head with a laugh then the brothers led the boys to the correct movie poster.
"Are you serious?" Harry asked excitedly. Kyle just jumped into Dean's arms with a shout of joy; the man embraced the boy shocked. "'Angels and Demons'?"
"Yeah" Sam nodded a bit uncertainly. "I thought you would like it…"
"Are you kidding? I love it!" Harry exclaimed with a grin. "Although, I know it won't be the same as the book, which I had the luck to read."
Sam relaxed hearing that. Soon the two boys left for the men's room, while the brothers bought some snacks: Dean got nachos and a pack of M&Ms for himself, large portions of popcorn and soft drink for him and Kyle, while Sam only bought the popcorn and the soft drink. As the boys returned, Kyle snatched some from the popcorn.
"Mmm" he moaned when he popped one into his mouth, "buttered. My favorite."
The time came quickly for them to take a seat: their seating was close to the screen. Dean quickly opened the pack of sweets, so he wouldn't make a noise during the movie and Kyle snatched one piece. Sam, though, couldn't pay attention to the playful banter the move caused, because Harry was gripping his hand lying on the arm of the chair tightly, like he was afraid that some great force would pull him out of his chair in any moment. The young man carefully put his free hand onto the boy's, who snapped his head to him with a startle.
"What's wrong, gorgeous?" Sam asked softly. He took in his lover's deathly pale skin and wide eyes. From the background he saw Dean and Kyle turn towards them.
"It's going to be dark…" Harry whimpered; Sam could barely catch the frightened words. He immediately pulled the scared boy into his arms, murmuring soft, encouraging words into his ears. Dean slowly reached over Kyle and stroked the trembling back, while Kyle laid his hand on the boy's arm to give him strength. After a few moments Harry relaxed and straightened up, visibly calmer. Seconds later the two boys were talking excitedly again about the movie and the book, while the brothers were watching them with matching smiles. Harry was still holding Sam's hand, who at last turned his palm up to the boy's and threaded their fingers. Harry glanced down surprised then sent a grateful look towards Sam, who gave him a reassuring kiss. The movie then started.
After two and a half hours the doors of the cinema opened up and the crowd flooded out, surrounded by excited chatting. First Harry and Sam emerged from the place, thanks to the young man's height, and they stopped a few feet away from the crowd to wait for the others. Dean and Kyle not much later joined them; Sam suppressed a smile seeing the threaded fingers of the pair. They started towards the exit.
Reaching the quieter part of the mall, they started chatting about the movie, until they reached the entrance. As soon as they got out of the building, they were stopped by a soft voice. Sam was held back by his lover going rigid, so he turned to him worriedly. The sight that greeted him made his gut clench.
Harry was shaking hard, his face paled and his emerald eyes widened so much that they almost fell out of their places. Through his parted lips the air went in and came out of his lungs rapidly and loudly.
Before Sam could say a word, he remembered the scene inside the cinema:
'It's going to be dark…'
The young man instantly pulled his lover into his arms, who was whimpering in terror. Sam lifted the boy up without a word; Harry clung to him, his arms around the young man's neck, hiding his face from the sight, legs enclosing around Sam's waist. Sam continued forward to the car, which had one door open. The young man sat in the back with his precious cargo and Dean closed the door for him. He jumped in behind the wheel, Kyle next to him. The Impala quickly backed out of the parking lot and whisked away into the dark night, towards the safety of home.
Sam suddenly felt a cold tickle on his neck, so he began shushing the broken soul cocooned in his arms. Kyle caught the teardrop wandering down Dean's rigid face and the fingers tightened around the steering wheel, paling from the force of it. None of them had been happier than when they finally reached the salvage yard.
As soon as the car stopped, Sam got out of it and hurried into the house. Ignoring Bobby, who appeared at his entrance, he sat down onto the couch with Harry in his lap.
"Harry" he spoke softly to the shaking boy. "Look, we're home. No one can hurt you now" seeing no change at that, he continued:
"You're safe, little Jade. Lift your head up, gorgeous! You can look around now."
Bobby listened to the words sadly with Dean and Kyle joining him, noting dejectedly that only the cooing had the wished results: Harry carefully looked up. The two older men clearly saw the small kitten in the boy. When Harry was convinced that Sam was right, he looped his index finger through the free buttonhole on the top of Sam's shirt and put the fingertip into his mouth, comforting himself this way. Sam watched the adorable but heartbreaking scene then stood up with the boy in his arms and walked upstairs. Dean gave his brother a nod that he will explain everything to Bobby.
Sam carefully lowered his treasure onto the bed and pulled the lithe arms from around him. Harry glanced at him fearfully, but Sam didn't leave him alone: with a snap of his fingers he teleported their pajamas next to them onto the bed and after changing he dressed the boy, as well. Lying in the bed, covered with a blanket, Harry noticed that his lover had a shirt on. He instantly looped his finger through the top buttonhole and slid his fingertip into his mouth. Sam turned off the lights then hearing the whimper he tightened his hold on the boy. Soon they drifted away into a deep, dreamless sleep.
"Poor Harry" Kyle spoke sadly, as he sat down onto the king bed that was placed into the room that afternoon instead of the two simple ones. "He had to go through a lot of bad things, and he still can't find any peace."
Hearing the sorrowful words, Dean stepped out of the bathroom. Seeing the sadness on the boy's features, he joined Kyle on the bed and pulled him into an embrace, ignoring the fact that Kyle's clothes are getting wet, or that he only had a towel on.
However, Kyle snapped out of his thoughts at the wetness and couldn't fight back a blush. Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed the tanned, muscled chest. He shyly lifted his hand up and wiped a drop of water with a fingertip; the small diamonds were dribbling down the soft skin like droplets of water on a fresh, bloomy fruit. Dean startled from the gentle touch and slowly pulled away. Kyle took in the sight before him with awe, blushing from the thought that the man was only a towel away from nudity.
"I'm sorry…" Dean whispered ashamed. He couldn't stop himself; he couldn't bear the sad look on the boy's face. Kyle glanced up at him and tenderly caressed the flushed cheek; his thumb brushed the full lips. Dean shuddered from the almost unnoticeable touch then without thinking he pressed a kiss onto the boy's thin lips. Kyle then cupped the man's face with both hands and responded a bit uncertainly.
Suddenly, like he snapped out of a trance, Dean grabbed the boy's wrists and pulled away. He shook his head sadly then stood up and changed into his pajamas. Kyle went rigid from shock then with a startle he snapped his gaze onto Dean's back: the man was already dressed.
"I thought you wanted this" Kyle said, causing Dean to freeze but then the man continued putting away his clothes and the towel. "I always saw that you want what Sam and Harry was blessed with. I can give that to you but you push me away. Why?"
"I don't wanna talk about it" Dean muttered and without a glance to Kyle, he got into bed, his back towards the boy. However, Kyle wasn't going to leave it at that.
"But you will" he argued stubbornly. "Because, whether you want it or not, we're gonna discuss this."
"Well, we won't" Dean snapped back.
"What I don't get is why?" Kyle went on. "Why did you kiss me, if you don't want me? Or why did you even help me?"
"Drop it!" Dean raised his voice, but the boy ignored him.
"Why didn't you just leave me to die?" Kyle shouted angrily.
"ENOUGH!" Dean's voice explained. The man shot up and turned to Kyle so fast that the boy pulled back fearfully. "I told you I don't want to talk about it!" the man screamed. "Why can't you understand that?"
Long, deep silence got between the two of them then Kyle snatched his pillow up and started towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Dean asked, but Kyle just did like he hadn't heard it. Suddenly, before the boy could grab the doorknob, a hand pulled him back then Dean hugged him.
"Please, forgive me" the man breathed in a shaky voice. "I'm really sorry… But I can't talk about it, I just can't…"
"But you have to" Kyle looked into the sad eyes that – oddly – didn't hold tears. "You can't carry this weight alone forever; you can't take it to the grave… Aren't you getting tired of it?"
Seeing the boy's determination, Dean sat back onto the bed and buried his face into his hands. Kyle joined the dejected man and stroked his back reassuringly.
"Since you saw the longing from me" Dean spoke quietly after he lowered his hands, "I guess you noticed the sadness, too."
Kyle nodded, a bit lost on what the man was getting at. Dean sighed.
"Have you thought about why is it there?" the man asked, gaze fixed on the floor.
"Well" the boy started, surprised from the question, "because you don't have a stable, long-term relationship like your brother."
"Not exactly" Dean shook his head. "It's not because I don't… it's because I'm not allowed to."
"I don't follow" Kyle frowned in confusion.
"The only way I can protect the ones I love is if I'm not letting them close to me."
"Protect them from what?"
"From me" Dean looked up into the boy's eyes, which widened from shock. "And the curse on me."
"Curse?" Kyle repeated even more confused.
"I lose everyone I love sooner or later" Dean's voice began trembling under the weight of his confession. "My father died because of me so I could live. Sammy was killed because of me and he got together with a demon, when I went to Hell and after I got back…"
"My God…" Kyle breathed in horror. He was glad Bobby already let him in on the big hunting-secret, because it seemed that Dean wasn't really aware of who he was talking to.
"Everyone dies because of me…" Dean broke down. The last pieces of his mask fell down and the man buried his face into his hands again with harsh sobs. Witnessing the flood of the man's emotions, Kyle embraced Dean and rocked him into peace. He knew that Dean had this enormous weight on his shoulders for years and it was slowly breaking him down.
"Dean" Kyle spoke after the man calmed down. "A lot of bad things have happened to you. But that's why you deserve to live a happy life and have a relationship."
"But…" Dean tried to argue, only to be cut off by Kyle:
"You can't look at the future this way, otherwise the universe will shuffle the cards of your life in the same way, till the last minute of your last day. You have to leave the past behind, lift your head up and decide to do everything for a better life. If you get an opportunity for that, you can't let it go. And I'm offering you that opportunity. It's your choice: will you accept it or will you torture yourself with your past until the day you die?"
The motivational speech was followed by a tense silence then at last Dean whispered:
"Thank you…"
TBC
So, how was it? Please, Read and Review! They keep the story going!
See you soon!