Another uneventful March arrived for the prince, and like most others, offered him no easy rest. In the midst of the chilling dawn Lelouch wandered the dorm halls or even walked through the courtyard. He chose to ignore the appealing urge to sleep because of the fact he knew those familiar nightmares were bound to entrance him.
Interchanging images of embraced families and their mutilated aftermath filled the canvas of his eyelids each time he closed them. His ears deafened beneath the unrelenting echoes of both cheer before and agony after as though to remind him the cost of his war. Just for another night, he wanted to evade that fate as much as possible.
Instead, those pointless strolls were used to ponder the curious events and actions taken by Shirley during the bar visit. Too many questions were poised in his mind about his judgement in the matter, unable to truly answer his own investigation about her knowing. Should he rely on his usual method of having Shirley exploit her own motive indirectly? To learn how much she truly knows? Lelouch delved into his mind, recalling those vivid moments at the bar where smooth jazz music started off his sorrowful discovery.
By the time he finished and remember what he was doing, Lelouch stood in front of Shirley's dormitory door. The air was silent and peace, so different from the scenery the prince became accustomed to. In his hand was an item meant to act as sincere and assuring towards the girl: a simple CD mix. Lelouch understood the previous notion that friends from generations past would express their feeling via 'mix-tapes' or collage that spoke their minds where words could not. Lelouch applied this concept with her preference in a soothing genre that even appeased him. No more than an hour was required to select the exact tracks needed to convey to Shirley, a playlist composed of infamous tunes filled the disc along with various styles befitting the mood. This was the extent of his understanding in romance and the girl who took his attention.
With the significant caution of a professional, Lelouch slid the case through the slit under the wooden door, easing it inside. Some effort was required since either she or her roommate Sophie used a plush carpet as a doormat. Alas after a few intentional shoves, the package was delivered.
A smile crept across his face as he hurried away from the scene, just then wary that he could possibly be spotted sneaking around during the night (considering the fact this section was strictly girls only). The personal 'mission' was a success after he proceeded through the courtyard without being noticed. Misfortune eventually caught up to the effort Lelouch put in as his limited stamina depleted further from lack of sleep. He managed to reach a nearby bench just before his body slumped down automatically. He could not muster any struggle against the drowsy sensation that caused his eyes to flutter shut…
"-nii-san wake up!"
A high pitched whine broke him from his sudden spell. The spurt of panic kept him from falling back asleep. At least this time around he was spared from a nightmare.
"Onee-san you fell asleep out in the open? Class will resume soon and you have yet to check on headquarter status. Let's get going, okay?"
Hearing the whiny nature in his ear, Lelouch's eyes shot to the nuisance that was his 'brother' Rolo. He was drenched in sweat as though he had run track around the school searching for the prince. How the assassin managed not to immediately find his target sprawled in the middle of the courtyard was beyond the tactician. Did anyone else notice him?
"Ah. Thanks Rolo. I must have dozed off after getting out of bed…"
"Onii-san, you need to be more careful about your health. You do enough already and forget to tend to yourself afterwards."
The false sense of care and nurture from the younger 'brother' ignited more anger in Lelouch than he could bear at times. This foolish boy was no sibling; he already had one in the form of Nunally. He was not related to a murdering puppet that only served its purpose during covert operations.
"There is no need to worry so much," Lelouch flaunted towards the suggestion given, then arose from his seat and gestured them to carry on. "After all, we are near the end of the goal anyways."
"…I know that, onii-san," Rolo muttered underneath his breath, perhaps reluctant to admit something would give eventually. His hand clinched the knife buried in his pocket as he followed after his older brother. He needed to steel his resolution for just awhile longer, so Lelouch could realize his dream. He would ensure his brother's victory. No matter the cost.
Lelouch wondered about the time as strolled around leisurely, surely he had not slept that long. Considering the last bell, the second homeroom must have passed just as other students began to run about with relief. He dismissed the brotherly soldier to attend the check up with Viletta on his behalf, giving the excuse that he was going to take up the suggestion to rest once more (a lie of course).
Lelouch visited a nearby vendor to buy some soda, careful not to drink more than enough caffeine to avoid overload. Just as a doctor would order he surmised, should that person be under the Geass. After thinking to himself, he then realized that he still had homework to complete by the end of the day. Simple mathematics if he recalled. As much as he wanted to push the bother away, even he would find it difficult to maintain his high marks at the end.
After a quickened pace, he found himself in front of the classroom door. Casually he proceed to turn the knob and-
"Doesn't it make you wonder who'd want to get close to a guy like that?"
Lelouch prevented himself from pushing the door open just in time, as the obvious speaker, Suzaku, hinted towards a certain subject. There was no need to deduce the topic, given recent developments. But whom was he speaking to?
"Mm-hmm," was the peculiar hum given in half-agreement. Based on the sound alone, he figured that Suzaku would not quit in finding more information from Shirley.
That bastard just won't stop, huh?
"He's only good for starting up trouble and not much else. If you ask me."
How convenient. I'd say the same about you. Instigating fool.
"It's like searching for a needle in a haystack," Suzaku commented on as though narrowing down his logic. He must have been releasing rather withheld military details at this point, carelessly to a student of all people. Was he really planning to drag Shirley into their quarrel?
"You're part of the search team?" Shirley appeared intrigued by the newfound detail.
"Everyone was put on search detail. It's become that important."
Lelouch found such hard to believe that Suzaku was playing her, as he could fully declare that he knew Lelouch was in fact Zero. What was the meaning behind his pointless façade? Did he really have something to gain with this conversation? Lelouch gnarled at the thought while continuing to eavesdrop.
"What's making it so challenging?" Shirley asked so bluntly.
Because I won't go down so easily.
"Well, not much to go on," Suzaku eased out with a sigh, projecting his haughty demeanor. An uncomfortable silence arose as though it was Shirley's turn to take the bait; Lelouch could no longer bear that fact. In his normal stride, Lelouch opened the door and walked inside. The two must not have expected his sudden entrance, evident by the shared shock between them.
"Hey," Lelouch greeted to Shirley then offered a casual nod to Suzaku. As much as a punch would suffice, he turned his attention fully to the girl. Immediately he caught the subtle relief and plea riding on her expression as a desire to get out of there.
Perfect timing.
"Are you ready for trig?"
A well-timed sarcastic groan escaped her lips. "No way~," Shirley complained and emphasized her blight with a palm to her forehead. Lelouch let off a smirk at the nice acting performance given. She's done this before.
Who knew.
"Well if you will excuse us, Suzaku," Lelouch directed towards his rival then placed his hand on Shirley's shoulder, "we have math problems to work out."
"Urgh," Shirley whined as she partially hurried to gather her materials. He felt like if she wanted to plea for him to take her away, this was the prime moment for it. That would really stick it to this soldier.
"You'll come if you want to pass and not repeat the class," Lelouch chided at his false play. She had little possibility of failing the class with her grades, but the threat held enough merit. Just enough to convince Suzaku to back off. Even Suzaku who was by default horrid at mathematics would think twice to press on with his attack.
"Fine," Shirley complied with a dry sigh and stood beside him. Unconsciously, Lelouch grasped at her hand as they hurried out of the room. Neither turned back around to see the expression on Suzaku's face at this act, nor did they look towards one another. In fact neither of them let go all the way to the next class.
The rather impressive progress between Lelouch and Shirley diminished just as quickly as it flourished during the next two weeks. Silent treatment was her primary vehicle to ignore his acts of kindness (or redemption in most cases). Between seeking her favor and gaining victory on the battlefield, Lelouch was beyond exhausted during the current easy council meeting (the first one he had attended in full for several months). Amidst the topics and conversations, he found himself contemplating his actions. Had he done something more to earn her refrain as of recently? He stared into her regular braid in search of an answer.
So much for careful planning.
The simple start in analysis gave way for a cascade of inquisitions within his mind. Why would she be attracted to him anyways at this point? Surely there were more suitable and agreeable bachelors out there that could gain her attention. Perhaps not as intelligent as himself, but surely more potent. Geno, Suzaku (reluctantly), and even Rivalz (as laughable a concept that would be) were some candidates that came to his forefront.
Lelouch had nothing compatible for Shirley. Unlike her, he was nothing of an athlete: he could hardly under a meter dash, let alone lift most intermediate weights. Even Rivalz shined in comparison. His academics, although exemplary and above the cut, were inherent and poorly attended to as he favored the power of gambling. The vast amount of knowledge and prowess at his hands only fed his ego and caused problems to her and many others.
What would she gain at his side? Shirley was perfect incarnate compared to him. Her body, well-maintained and tone through swimming competitions, was exactly the edge she'd have over all others. She proved herself quite well in academics as among the top rank of their generation. Her personality was that of a saint, always considerate of others and sought to provide assistance to all in need (albeit he received the snide in most part). To the point: she was dead-on gorgeous. That lean lithe body took advantage of her porcelain skin to the fullest, complemented by the great vibrancy of her long, smooth auburn hair that graced elegantly behind her shoulders. And not to mention those bright emerald eyes that sought a better future. One he could easily get lost into for days.
Lelouch was nothing like Shirley.
Despite all those factors, he could not deny himself to think of her. To want her. Ever drifting inside those horrid dreams and glimpses of reality, he found her there at the end of the tunnel. He found himself desiring to comfort her in ways that honorable men could do. Lelouch was stoic in the fact that he never thought of such lurid fantasies, but if he could, he would share them with Shirley. Just a brief trip away from the excruciating agony he endured with his corrupted heart.
Yes, a corrupt heart is what I have.
Lelouch had so easily tainted this student so pure and innocent in the short time they've known each other. After finding out about her father he kept finding her dragged into his affairs without remorse. Despite how cruel the thought sounded, he would always choose to let her come back into his life the same way time and time again. So long as she existed within him. Alas as long as he continued this violent path of destruction, she might as well have been pulled in regardless. Both of them suffered for his crimes.
The weight of his sins was beyond bearable since the fighting began. Since before he contracted the Geass with C.C. However he always managed to find the one mask necessary to embrace it all. He always wore that mask especially when Shirley was around. Alas that mask broke every time that honest smile came to him. She was among the reasons why he could continue to bear that weight.
As if breaching nirvana, the deeper meaning behind his questions came to fruition, just as a grimace spread of her face. Shirley also lost her parent to a 'justified' cause, but she endured it with a smile and open arms. She carried on without revenge to avoid any more conflict unlike him. Even as she shared the same life and time with that very murderer, even at that moment she could become his executioner, she chose the other path with a gentle smile.
Lelouch regretted not utilizing that same method, those same actions that were muddled under his anger towards the Emperor. Perhaps that very aggression would be the reason one day he's be staring at that dearly beloved bathed in a pool of her own blood.
Realist checked back in for Lelouch as a large stack of papers was slammed at his desk, the ever-aggressive Miss President eager to gain his attention.
"I suggest you find A-N-O-T-H-E-R time to catch up on her sleep, Vice President. Not during my announcements!" Milly scuffed at the scene before she resumed her discussions with the rest of the gathered community. Of course such devotion quickly derailed into whatever else gossip happened to be in the air.
A look back at Shirley revealed that she too had nearly drifted off into sleep, if not maybe the same trance he experienced. Her dreamy expression roused his resolve to delve deeper into this thing called a buddying relationship between them. The first step started when his hand discreetly entwined with hers, long fingers nuzzling hers as he nudged the stack towards her. Shirley was quite surprised to see their cupped hands below the desk, only to turn her shock to his eyes. He narrowed his gaze upon her and squeezed ever so slightly to confirm his intention, then gave his most affectionate smile he could muster. Shirley blushed profusely right before she evaded more eye contact, conscious of the fact they were doing this in front of everyone. Despite such a timid reaction, she squeezed back just as assuring.