Italy: Hey Germany, come listen; I wrote a song especially for you!
Germany: What? Even though I'm your enemy? Ok, let me hear it…
Italy: Germany! Germany! Germany is a really really nice place! Even though I'm your prisoner you give me food, and it doesn't suck like English food!
"MY FOOD DOESN'T SUCK!"
Sausages with cheeses always taste so good! It'd be heaven for a dog…
"Unfortunately or maybe fortunately we are not dogs"
yeah that's Germany! Tel l me, how is it that you Germans are so robust? You're crushing me with your intimidation! My fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear… your women terrify me!
"It is true. German Females are no fun. The men aren't the great either" France said
"What the hell did you do with my female citizens scratch that what did you do with my citizens!"
"Nothing! Nothing!"
"Yeah like I'll believe that!"
Is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer and then bust it on somebody's head?
"Yeah why do Germans do that"
"Ksesesesese you obviously do not understand the awesomeness of German beer!"
Please don't come to my place in large mobs… German tourists are scary!
"All Germans are scary!"
Even the girls that are from Germany are more rugged than I am. Yahoo~!
Italy's Boss: Welcome home, Italy.
[Opening]
(France: Hon! Honhonhonhonhon…)
Germany: In my opinion, France really lost this war so they shouldn't be allowed to make us pay them so much money…!
"The French didn't lose! You see I even have God on my side!"
[France is asking a fancy price: Burning with a grudge towards Germany, France laid the entire blame on Germany (and the Central Powers) for the war. In addition, the reparations were 139 billion gold marks! When they got behind in their payments, big brother France, who liked profiting from the sidelines, came to the Ruhr area to occupy it.]
Clocks: Coo coo! Coo coo! Coo coo!
France Clock: Coo coo! Coo coo!
Clocks: Coo coo!
Germany: Day after day, we're forced to make coo coo clocks!
(France Clock: Coo coo!)
Germany: Then we sell them, but then we need to give all the money to France!
(France Clock: Coo coo!)
that's frustration* I feel like I'm going crazy!?Germany: Duough! *
Well, at least I'm rid of Italy now… that's the only thing about all these reparations that makes it bearable.
(Italy: Waaaaa~aa~aa~)
(France Clock: Coo coo!)
Germany: He really was a strange country…
(Italy: Ooooh~ooooh~ooooh~)
Germany: I utterly refuse to be his babysitter anymore!
(France Clock: Coo coo!)
Germany: Ja! This time that I've been able to spend by myself is supreme bliss!
"And that is how you jinxed it!"
Italy: Germany! Help me find a job? My family has become extremely poor!
HWAAAAAAAAH!
Germany: DON'T COME BOTHERING ME ABOUT A JOB! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT WORK ALL DAY TO PAY BACK FRANCE!
Italy: Wait! Please hear me out! We're WORSE off! Back home there's no place to work and no bread to eat! I don't care if the job pays next to nothing; I just need to work! Even if I could get SOME money, even just a little bit! That's better than NOTHING! Please, you can find SOMETHING for me!
"Wars do tend to bankrupt countries…"
Germany: Oh, Italy…
Italy: Dear big brother,
I started a job where I make money at Germany's house, and I get paid nine hundred million marks per day! I know, right!? But don't get excited, cause one egg costs 3.2 billion marks, so an omelet is like a month of work…
"I remember that letter" Romano grumbled
"Germany how could you be so heartless"
"Hey it's not like I had any money myself!"
[Time passed, and then it became WW2]
German Newscaster: Our German troops are unstoppable! They are battering the froggy stinkhole! And at this rate it is only a matter of time before Paris becomes *he says one more thing but I can't catch it*…
Italy: Grrr… I can't believe Mr. Germany's attacking France again! It's like he's got a grudge against big brother!
"That's right! Germany has a grudge against big brother. Even now!"
"I do not!"
"Your attitude says otherwise!"
"Why you!"
Cue fighting between Germany and France.
"Stop it you two! You are scaring my citizens!"
They reluctantly stopped
Germany: If our troops can keep this up I'll have France making ME coo coo clocks in no time!
German Soldier: Ah, Germany, I have some terrible news! Italy has become Germany's ally! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!
Italy: Germany! I pledge my undying support to your cause! We'll be best friends that—AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Italy: Luxembourg kicked my ass and sent me back here…!
"Damn him! I am going to make him pay! It's his fault fratello keeps going Germany! Geramny!"
Germany: Get away from me! I don't need your help!
Italy: Come on, Mr. Germany, you can be my friend, can't you? We can be an alliance! I've always been ruled by somebody since forever! You'll be my strong big brother! You can order me around and I'll disappoint you!
"At least he warned him beforehand"
Germany: Ah…
Italy: When I'm near destruction you can swoop in and save me! And when you need cannon fodder I'll be there to march in and obey the chain of command!
Germany: Friends… that sounds… nice… Since I've never had friends, I'll most likely treat you badly, but someone has to take it…
This could work… friends! Uh, we don't have to kiss, do we?
"Ofcorse not! Why would you think that?" A student asked
Italy: Nope! Unless you want to.
"Wait what?"
"In my home we greet each other with kisses"
"Oh so that's why.."
[In this way, the two countries formed an alliance. However…]
[In the end…]
Italy: Germany… thanks for the water! Now I can make pasta again!
Germany: Stop wasting water. I'm not sure if anyone would believe me that you died making pasta in the desert…
"If it is Italy I would believe that"
[Germany's stomachache just kept getting worse.]
Italy: Hetalia!
Japan: I am very pleased to meet you.
[Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy]