Japan: *old Japanese music with Japan with his back turned* (Konnichiwa). I am Japan. I enjoy sensing the mood and refraining from speaking.

"That was overly weird."

Germany: It's true! Ok, so I brought someone who will be our new ally!

Japan: Do you speak of Italy? Alright; I am in agreement. Although I am curious…

Japan: He surely is not the obviously suspicious character over there, is he?

(Italy: *laughing*)

(Girls around him: *making sigh noises*)

"Do you flirt with girls everywhere?"

"I'm Italian!"

Germany: I don't want to believe it either, but… that's him…

Japanese soldier: Improper!

Cat: Meow!

Japan: I have signed the paperwork, but he appears to be sleeping.

"What is that?"

"It is called a katatsu. It is a Japanese table with warm blankets. People sit under them in the winter so they can get warm"

Germany: Ja, that is kind of his thing.

Cat: Meow!

[September 1940: The Tripartite Pact among Japan, Germany and Italy was signed.]

[Of course, they didn't sign it while getting warm under a kotatsu table.]

"That's how you sign pacts!"

"How else should we sign them?"

"I don't know in a conference from around serious looking people in stiff clothing?"

"That's boring!"

(Opening)

Germany: Now, Japan. Do you think you could make U-boats using those blueprints we had from the other day?

"What are U boats?"

"You'll see"

Japan: Well, I think your design is much too big to do in my home. But please do not worry. We succeeded in miniaturizing it using technology.

"You can do that!"

"Of course I can"

Germany: No way!

[U-boat]

Japan: We have twelve color random assortment, and we will release new additional colors to match each season. A popular voice actress will advertise it for us too.

"Okay I'm confused. Is it a ship for war or is it a toy?"

Germany: Cool!

Mecha-U-boat: *robotic roar*

Japan: And that is its ultimate final form.

"Huh? How did the ships merge to form this robot?"

Germany: This is wunderbar, Japan!

German civilian: Ah…!

Italy: Hetalia!

Italy: Ciao, Japan! Guess what I heard! Germany said you were good at miniaturizing! Do you think you could shrink me too?

"You can't shrink people using technology"

Japan: Apologies, but no, we are not currently accepting orders to miniaturize Italians.

"You can shrink people too!"

"We shall see" Japan said.

(Italy: Oh shankers! Your thing!) (Something along this line…)

Japan: *Sigh*… Japanese people grow-a, not show-a.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You'll understand someday"

Italy: Whoa! What is this?! Stupendo! Amazing! HWOAAA!

"What's happening? What is it?"

Kids: Chibitalia!

Narrator: Oh no! I wonder what happened. Mr. Spain isn't his usual cheerful self!

"Well good. That damn Tomato bastard is too damn happy!"

Chibitalia: Big brother Spain looks lonely… hey, what happened? What's wrong with you, fratello?

"I've been hearing the world fratello a lot. What does it mean?"

"It means brother"

Spain: Hola, mi hermano. Let me give to you some advice. You should go do all of the things you desire as soon as possible.

"Why?"

Chibitalia: Eh… why do you say that?

Spain: Don't worry. You will find out soon enough.

[Hapsburg territory]

(Austrian army: Hwaaaaaaaaaah! *victory cry!*)

"Uh why are you standing on Romano?" someone asked

"Wait what?! You're standing on Romano! Austria how dare you!" Spain yelled clearly outraged. "No one ouches my little Tomato!"

"I am not your little Tomato! How many a times do I have to tell you that!"

Chibitalia: Oh, yes, I get it now…

Kid: The Italian Wars!

[The Italian Wars 1522-1544]

Narrator: During the Italian Wars, all of Italy was victimized. It was beaten up by rude little countries here and there, and was eventually sold piece by piece to the real bullies: the powerful countries. It wasn't long before young master Italy began his new life as a suffering underling.

"Isn't he a country? So why would he be a suffering underling"

"When other countries take over your country. You are forced to live them and do as they say"

"Oh"

(Chibitalia: *crying*)

Austria: Alrighty. You belong to me, Austria, so suck it up. Your new job is going to be to serve me and do what I say; do you understand? Now then, I'll supervise all the industry and politics in your land. The only thing you have to do is loyally obey me without asking any questions. Do you have any questions for me?

"Didn't you just say don't ask questions?"

Chibitalia: Eh… just-a one… by any chance do you serve pasta he-

Austria: No we don't.

"Of course he would ask that and of course he would say no"

Italy: Hetalia!

Germany: This Asian country has become a great power in such a short amount of time. It's hard to think Japan was closed off to the world only 60 years ago. He's a little naïve, but he's hardworking, honest, and knows many different whale recipes!

"You eat whales!"

He senses the mood, and refrains from speaking! He's not half bad.

"I am glad you think highly of me Germany"

Japan: I'll think about it. Perhaps next time. We shall see. I always say no. It's a quirk.

Germany: His name is Japan. He's rather mysterious. And then there's that one. All he does is follow me around all the damn time.

(Italy: *laughing* Pasta~!)

Germany: And then there's that one… and then there's that one…

Kid: To be continued maybe!

[To be continued… maybe…]

Italy: Ciao, it's Italy! We were right in the middle of WWII! By we, I mean Germany, Japan, and me! We're all part of the Tripartite Pact, and we drifted to a southern island to take a little vacazione! Wow! We were dragged into drama after drama! It was crazy! What's going to happen to us? Find out in the next episode of Hetalia! Crying Out SOS at the Center of the World! Hasta la pasta!

[Next episode: Crying Out SOS at the Center of the World. Tune in next time!]

"Italy! Why are you advertising that like it is some kind of televion show?"

"I don't know! Please don't hit me. I'll do any thing!" Italy wailed waving a white flag

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)