Quid Pro Quo
An hour passed since Shirley's departure, yet Lelouch did not move an inch from his seat. His cheek still flared in pain from her slap which he comforted with his left palm. The room might have been moderately chill, but his body was still delightfully heated from her warmth. Her embrace was beyond his expectation after he revealed his guise as Zero; vengeance should have been her motive at that moment. The act was more than justified with the hatred that should have clouded her mind, yet... she forgave him. Better yet, she exposed her true self to him in such an empathic nature.
Fate was against the two's comfort as C.C. chose to intervene and escort Shirley out. Lelouch sensed a dastardly plot beneath the hasty extraction; as much as he could suspect of her coy mischief, C.C. was bound to exploit the fondness between him and Shirley, possibly plant seeds of doubt in her vulnerability. Even worse, expose rather personal knowledge of his unfortunate interactions. Lelouch cringed at the very thought.
"It's much too obvious of her character," he stated out-loud while his right hand toyed with the patting of the nearby arm-rest. His mind shifted back to the matter at hand regarding military standing with both Britannian Empire and the Black Knights. The hijacking appeared to remain under enemy radar as neither have revealed intent to attack nor respond to the incident via the media. Their trio of world rejects continued to be anonymous to all for the time being; such was to be expected of the once glorified 'Zero' anyways. However, Lelouch would have to shift gears for the offensive. The final act in his war was the guarantee for the greater future, and he must enforce its sapling at any cost.
To think Lelouch slaughtered countless lives just to reach this ultimatum was a continual bother in his ever-compromising mind. To wonder how many more were indirectly affected by his actions was unfathomable, though he had Shirley as a prime example. His sight drifted from wall to wall across the dim room as he pondered. Her case still had several unknowns and mysteries embedded deep in its depth, suddenly becoming much to evident through the last words she spoke.
"No casualties. Please, no more casualties."
She ensured that her message stuck to him, refusing to loosen her grip around him otherwise. A simple request that housed undesired ambiguity: as Zero, she demanded that he refrain from engorging in unnecessary battles, that much was obvious. However, did she not know that he was no longer the 'Zero' of the Black Knights? That he abandoned his status and position to fight through his own form of guerrilla warfare? Just how aware was she of his struggles?
His rambling thoughts cut short upon hearing the door open, and the slim figure of C.C. strode in. Not much to his surprise, she was stripped out of the Black Knight outfit and dressed in the same straight jacket attire as always. Even more without surprise, a smirk graced her face. That did not bode well. "It took you awhile to escort her out."
"Were you worried? How cute of you... 'Lulu.'" The way his nickname rolled off her tongue irked Lelouch. His fingers cringed into his palms as he stared down at her. With no effort, she leaned against the door, closing it behind her motion. "I did what was necessary to prevent any hindrance to your plan. She should be heading straight to the academy by now." Lelouch leaned into his hand as he continued to observe.
"By necessary, I assume you mean slander my position and leak some irrelevant info." Her grin turned into a cynical smirk.
"Come now, does that sound like something I would do?"
It's exactly what you would do.
The gluttonous smirk withdrew quickly behind a serious grim before she stared off to the window behind him. "I hope you are satisfied with this outcome; it will be in your best interest to start distancing yourself from everything to carry out the mission." Lelouch closed his eyes as he reinforced his will.
"Yes, I'm well-aware of that. I've prepared myself long ago for the burden that will come."
"Are you sure?"
A dreadful pause filled the room. A sudden gust of wind slammed against the window, though neither of them took notice. Mentally, Lelouch took in the intent behind her assurance. He did not let doubt take root in his pondering as he forced himself out of his chair, and walked to the door while exhaling a sigh. His hand reached for the knob which motivated C.C. to carelessly sidestep and found new ground to idle beside the wall. Her gaze refused to look at him, as was vice verse for him. He hesitated to turn the knob as he confirmed his thoughts. "In a month's time, we will commence the plan. By then," Lelouch stretched his statement while opening the door; his eyes wearily turned to her though they were absent of conviction, "the world will know of 'Zero's Requiem.'"
C.C. chose not to confirm his declaration all the while he shut the door behind him as he left. There was no use to request that he stop and asset his future more; the convinced prince was already a dead man walking to his execution. Through partially teary eyes, her sight focused closer on the grotesque figures instilled in the stained glass. Would his sacrificial chronicles be stored in glory like these saints and angels, or be ridiculed and hated by man? Her hands clasped together as she offered a silent prayer.
"You will experience unimaginable pain through your selfishly selfless devotion. The world will despise your name, forever etched into history's pages for future generations to scorn. Friends, family: they will lose faith in what you stood for as a person. Even 'she' might not completely forgive you for the torment yet to be unleashed. Despite it all, I will support you to the end... I will pray for your success. Lelouch Vi Britannia."
If Lelouch was not uncomfortable with his arrival at the cemetery site, the chill of the night would have done it. The lone man, the former enemy commander, stood in dole misery at the front of a tombstone while the wind gently harassed his figure. Perhaps he should have anticipated such a cold sensation in the middle of February, in the middle of the grave site of those he killed, but he took no mind of it. Forced regret led him to the site dedicated to the ruination of his campaign: the resting spot of Britannian soldiers caught in the horrific crossfire. His sulked head hung over the burial as his tired eyes somberly read its epitaph:
'Joseph Fenette: Here lies devoted solider, husband, and father'
The worn stone reminded Lelouch that this would be the first time in years to visit a cemetery, ever since he offered condolence and prayer to his mother alongside Nunally. Unlike that time, he felt no sadness; his emotions were filled with nothing but remorse. Could all of this have been avoided? He knew he did not have the right to doubt his actions, especially at this resolving point in the war, yet...
His eyes caught a particular item beside the base of the tombstone, bringing him down in a crouch to look closer: it was half a stick of incent that had burned out some time ago. He deduced that Shirley must have visited as he tried to catch wift of its dying scent. Sandalwood was the best he could match to its aroma. Despite the short duration of its scent, it remained implanted in his nose for a good long while. His hand that held a bundle of flowers, plucked from nature along the way there, reached out to lay them underneath the stick. The few velvet buds and crimson petals brightened the melancholy appeal of the scene. Lelouch was glad for such.
The scent of rain tainted the remnants of sandalwood before he felt the first rain drop atop his head. "Urgh, not the best time to forget an umbrella," Lelouch scolded himself after remembering the weather report of heavy rain he overheard moments ago. It was a shame to watch the collected devotion be soiled by the deluge of the storm.
Judging from the darkness in the mass of clouds overhead, the storm was about to be severe. Although he dressed in his rarely-worn red/black jacket atop gray shirt and old jeans, sufficient enough to withstand some amount of rain, he expected the rain to be overwhelming... and somewhat refreshing.
If only it would wash away the guilt.
A tap on the shoulder tore him away from the grave to greet his bystander, Suzaku. A spare umbrella in hand awaited on Lelouch's shoulder as Suzaku stood behind him, underneath his own umbrella of course. "Seems it's a good thing I'm by your side; you tend to ignore the big picture of things."
"...That's not necessary. I think this time... I'll embrace the storm tonight." Lelouch stood back up as he looked up to the sky. As if on cue, the clouds let down a fierce barrage of rain. Despite what was said, Suzaku extended his umbrella out to support them both. He let out a sigh as he looked over to the grave."
"Devoted soldier, husband, and father. That's one hell of a guilt trip, for you especially." Suzaku wanted to hear a chuckle or at least a recognition of the joke, but nothing came. Another sigh led on to look towards the rest of the cemetery. "You shouldn't let this affect you so much. The past is the past; getting caught up in that will get you killed, though I'm sure you're seeking that anyways."
Lelouch searched in his jacket's pocket as he stared down at the tombstone. "...I wasn't expecting it. Really, I wasn't. Shirley forgave me, despite me being the murderer." The other hand reached into his pant's pocket to produce a cheap lighter while the other continued its search. "I should be buried alongside the rest of them, though deeper in this damned ground so no one can recognize that I silently burn in hell at this spot." The hand finally pulled out a pack of off-brand cigarettes, much to the surprise embedded on Suzaku's face. He fumbled placing a single stick from his fingertips to his mouth, and took hold of its ends between lips.
"L-Lelouch, where did you get those? Don't tell me you actually went into a store to purchase those."
Lelouch chuckled a bit as he unsealed the plastic surrounding the lighter. "You belittle me, Suzaku. I confiscated a pack from one of the 'hired guns' during the hijacking."
"Better yet, when did you start smoking? I never saw you as the smoking-type."
Lelouch's hands fought against the flint of the lighter to produce a flame. "I don't smoke. Rather, I haven't until now. I'm not worthy to offer incent to her father, so I thought this should be a proper alternative... Detrimental to health and all," he half-heartedly jested as he returned stare back to the tombstone. A quick flicker of fire was enough to light up the cigarette, the smoke passively filling up his mouth. A thorough inhale and vicious cough later, Lelouch exhaled a stream of smoke that quickly dissolved under the heavy rain.
"I really wouldn't have mind if she strangled me right then and there. I suppose I have him to thank for that." Suzaku seemed disappointed as he stared at the back of his despaired friend. The silence between them filled with the thin smoke produced by the cigarette and its novice user. "Afterall, she remained loyal to herself and braced what she felt was right to amend the tarnish of hatred." Lelouch turned his head to Suzaku. "Was that not the case with you forgiving me for killing Euphemia?"
He knew he hit Suzaku's boiling point as he turned around to avoid eye contact. Suppressed anger molded his muffled voice. "Not at all. I never said that I forgave your sin. I am merely enforcing her vision for a better world, even if it just happens to coincide with your path."
Another inhale restrained Lelouch from pushing further into the quickly souring situation. Ashes fell to the ground alongside his sight during yet another disgusting silence. "Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will give you complete detail of the final act in this war that will guarantee that world. It cannot be done without you, Suzaku."
"...Affirmative." A simple confirmation spoken as Suzaku strode off further into the heart of the cemetery.
"Going to visit the other soldiers' graves to resolve your determination?"
"...Her grave is up ahead. I need to see her once more before I decided to walk to my death with you." Before Lelouch realized it, Suzaku was already lost under the loud ruse of the rain. He sighed as he looked up towards the crying sky.
"I won't let you die, Suzaku. You will be the last piece of this game to remain to support the after-effect. Granted it will be worse than 'death,' but that is something you will have to accept." The rain drenched the end of his cigarette as Lelouch let out one last breath twined with smoke. "Damn, already out. It was actually quite relieving." He laid the pack atop the scattered flowers as he gave one final look at his grave, his name. "May you rest in peace, Joseph Fenette. Please... leave Shirley's happiness to me. Even if it is my final action in this world, I'll ensure that she smiles forever."
Lelouch's arrival at the dormitory occurred several hours after leaving the cemetery. His entire being was drenched and overburdened by the severe condition of the travel, and the storm had yet to cease. The downpour only managed to dampen his spirit as he wandered down streets and through alleys to return to his 'home.' The whole time, his body demanded rest in compensation for the trek and the lack of sleep over the course of a few days, yet he subdued its demand; Lelouch still had a destination to go to.
Before he knew it, he stood inside the main gate of the academy and was drearily making his way toward the courtyard. His attention would drift about at random times, from sky to ground; from present to the past with snippets of interactions between him and her. The two of them sharing deep passion underneath the same deluge and trying to lock away despair through their comfort. He forced his sight to reach for the sky for a chance to return to reality if he got too caught up in the memory. The clouds distorted his sense of time. He could have easily pulled out his cell phone to check the time, but judging from the throbbing ache in the back of his mind it must have been some early hour in the morning.
His feeble body pushed open various doors that his mind immediately forgot about; his vision fumbled comprehension of walking down familiar hallways and the image of her face.
That's right, I need to see her.
The random platter of water falling against the tile floor from his damp clothes echoed in the empty corridor as he stumbled ever closer to his destination: her door. He found the situation far too illusionary; the way he was once looking at an unfamiliar door, then faced against a long plain wall, and then stood in front of her decorated door. He didn't need to look at the numerical value on the label to know that was her room; his mind was convinced that he had reached it. He stood motionless at the wooden door for behind there rested the girl that had peacefully and hauntingly resided in his thoughts.
His heart ached from the long hesitation. He needed to see her; he needed to know more about her involvement; most of all, he needed her comfort. Oddly enough, he didn't feel the sense of embarrassment or discomfort for admitting such feelings towards someone who should have been left out of his life. He would have blamed his exhaustion for such, but he knew that wasn't the case. Afterall, he truly did...
Automatically, his hand knocked against the door with three consecutive hits. He only realized seconds later that he was being relatively loud. Because of the exhaustion, he forgot that he wasn't suppose to be around here in the first place. He risked getting noticed by others, compromising his self-appointed mission.
Damn it, I'm too tired right now.
Lelouch waited a moment before trying the patter again but with more caution- the initial knock, a brief silence, then followed by two softer knocks. This time the door slowly creaked open a bit, momentarily blinding Lelouch from the contrasting bright lit inside her room. A recovering second later, the door was held open by Shirley as she motioned him to enter, going as far as to wrap her arm around his to get him moving. Without considering his environmental condition, he didn't hesitate to follow.
He stood at the entrance of her room, water dripping down relentlessly onto her carpeted floor, and she stood so close beneath him. His towering face was inches away from hers. He could feel her breath against his cold, damp skin.
"Hi," he simply spoke under a soft whisper as he tried to smile, but to not much success. He took in the sight of her seeking figure: her hair was fashioned in her common manner (albeit several strands that lost its hold), those jade eyes returning a mutual wanton of his own appeal, and her body loosely covered in a pink robe from shoulder to mid-thigh. Without a doubt, she was a relieving sight to behold for the wreck known as Lelouch.
"Hey," Shirley replied with an equivalent soft whisper, "you're soaked." Obviously, she was not trying to conceal her concern for him as she pressed closer to him. Her palm stroked against his cheek with gentle care as she stared into his sulked eyes. In his condition, he was easily under the illusion that she was staring directly into his troubled soul, and wished to put it at ease. His sight caught the motion of a few rain drops falling from his face onto hers. Their remnants disappeared under the tongue that slipped out of her mouth. He could not sway the creeping desire to move closer and kiss-
"I think you need to get out of those clothes," Shirley suggested in an innocent tone, "you'll get sick otherwise." Lelouch's weakened state of comprehension easily stumbled over the intention of her suggestion. Was she really wanting him to strip out of his clothes? His impression was further misconstrued by the fact she quickly turned about, possibly the hide the embarrassment scorched on her face. If he had enough energy left in his body, he would have done the same plus denial. However, he was too tired and sought out the warmth of her room.
The jacket slipped to the ground with a decent thud that caused Shirley to wince; she must have been surprised that he actually obliged.
"Y-You're liable to cause a scandal," she attempted to start conversation to avoid the fact that he was removing his clothes. Her arm stretched behind her awaiting the articles of clothing. In mere seconds, Lelouch slipped out of the shirt and placed it in her open palm.
"Sorry" was his only reply as he watched her wring out the moisture and folded the shit over her desk chair while he unzipped his pants. As quick as his shoes came off, his eyes roamed around her room. Overall, it had little change in comparison to his last visit a year ago, though he might be trying to ignore some facts. In one corner of her room was a rather large pile of clothing. He deduced that those were dirty clothes from her vacation; of course, she wouldn't have had much time since she arrived to do any laundry. Other than that, everything was the same: the walls were decorated in zealous posters of various series, structures, and boy bands that interested her. Aside from a few souvenirs scattered across its surface, her desk displayed her avid dedication to her schoolwork; stacks of assignments in one corner and school project pictures laying in various spots. Upon the backboard were several collages she must have made in her [rare] spare time. The common theme appeared to be friendship, evident by the various familiar faces in amusing poses. From observation, he realized there was not a single shot with him included.
Well of course, I burned all of those long ago.
Lelouch felt the conflict of happiness and sadness clashing in his thoughts as he gave away his pants to Shirley, who in turn began wringing it dry. Ultimately, he met his quota: to remove himself from her past... even if that later proved futile. She no longer flaunted over him in secrecy of her room like she did a year ago. Yet, perhaps it was too heartbreaking to actually see his fruition at hand. Those heated words she plead to him during their... encounters. Were they her actual feelings, or was she merely caught up in the heat of the moment? The latter should not be the case, Lelouch theorized as he slumped back falling onto the edge of her bed. Literally, she had asked him to strip his clothing, in her room for that matter. Was that not an obvious sign?
Had his eye not caught a glimpse of a marvelous sight, Lelouch would have continued to doubt himself: that blue heart hat. Cupid's Day. The prank contest to steal Lelouch's hate for 'love' (better put, 'profit'). Their conversation. Their exchange of hats to motivate their relationship. She still held that dear, going as far as encapsulating it under cased glass. Painted hearts decorated its praised stature, and Lelouch smiled upon the 'heart' that he gave on that day.
You were right, Shirley. Love is power.
Shirley stood idle at his slumped self; her legs were trembled underneath her shocked expression. Without a doubt, she was speechless at the sight before her. Was it because of the fact the boy she adored sat absolutely vulnerable to her? He was rid of all clothing except for a pair of blue boxers. Had he been able to muster the energy, Lelouch would have blushed under the sole attention she was giving him. What surprised him most was her next action; she began to slip off her rope, the loose belt no longer restricted him from the image of her undergarments: a very thin, sleeveless shirt short enough to reveal her gorgeous waist line, a pair of red flannel shorts that stopped just below her crotch, and nothing else.
The energy that Lelouch lacked made its spontaneous appearance as he attempted to cover his eyes. This couldn't be happening! She was walking closer to him while stripping herself! This domino effect became far too similar to a particular scene in a poor porn film (independent film as Rivalz would defend it) that Rivalz forced him to oversee during one of his sneak viewings.
"H-H-Hey!-" His squirming was cut short by the flying robe as it landed on his head, blinding his vision. Her fingers scrubbed atop the cloth as she attempted to dry his hair.
"I'm out of towels, being away and all. So yeah." A lame excuse, but it was enough to calm him down nonetheless. He sat still under her probing hands as she continued her massage. The only recurring thought was about how close she was to him, and in such limited clothing. She was so close that he could easily wrap his arms and her waist and-
"Ow." A sharp sensation ceased his fantasy and returned him to that somewhat meta-reality. He forgot about the cut he received during the battle at the Tokyo Settlement; it must have opened up while she rubbed the arch of his head.
"Sorry, are you hurt?"
"...Kind of," he replied in a muffled voice under the growing weight of the fabric. Shirley pulled back the robe, collecting around his shoulders, and inspected the gash. Despite the tedious pain of her fingers rubbing against it, Lelouch felt relaxed under her care.
"Why didn't you tell me you were wounded? Silly boy," she scolded as she scurried over to her backpack, retrieving a mobile first aid kit. As quickly as she opened it, she produced a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a gauze pad.
"I thought... it was more important to see you," he hesitantly mumbled during the stinging effect of the alcohol. Lelouch found it ironic that he was revisiting the same situation as they shared in the chemistry lab. This time, he was on the other end. After a gentle blow on the gash, she pressed the pad against his head with tender care to cleanse up the gathering blood. Her treatment resurrected a distant memory of when his mother tended to his wounds. She was so patient, so careful, so sincere. A kiss on the top of his head melted away his stand-firm person as he stared up at her.
"Are you hurt anywhere else?" As if by magic, their faces coincided in the same body. Was it the tears in his eyes that confused him? His body overpowered his mind as it hurdled itself into her abdomen, his hands raising up to slide down her smooth arms. The gentle friction relived itself in his mind as he took in her feel. She was real; Shirley was here for him. Those hands fell below to her waist as they encircled her, bringing her closer to him. His face buried itself in her stomach as he suppressed the urge to weep.
His conscious was in shambles at the very thought of losing her, let alone distancing himself from her. She was his final pin to sanity that kept him from losing his mind after all the trials he's endeavored. Despite being unworthy of her attention, she was there standing ever so close to him in a desperate embrace. Her warmth bled through the dampening shirt as he snuggled his face in closer. She returned the feeling by bracing her hand across the nape of his neck and buried the other in the locks of his hair.
"Shirley," Lelouch spoke, again in a muffled voice. His head raised to look into her eyes. That charming smile graced him as always. He encouraged himself to ask the question he dreaded. "How long- how long have you known?" The underwhelmed regret caused his arms to tighten around her. As weak as his coil was, she stepped in closer to him; their bodies were sharing complete contact as he awaited her answer. Despite how much Lelouch expected a rejection or withdrawal, Shirley continued to smile and caress his neck. The hand in his hair lowered against his temple, and her thumb slid across his left eyelid in deliberate motion. Her eyes never swayed away from that eye as she continued to rub it. It was a simple confirmation. She knew of his power.
"The shopping district."
Like holding the final crucial piece of a puzzle, everything made sense. Like looking at an answer sheet, Lelouch understood it all. The shopping district. Jeremiah. The Geass Canceller. She must have been within its range. All of her 'erased' memories were revived. The information was so incredulous that he could not maintain a poker face: his eyes were wide open, his teeth grinded into his lower lip as he damned himself for not realizing this sooner. His body lost its strength, which caused his arms to uncoil from her waist. He might as well had become a lost cause; he was the sole reason for her resurrected torment.
Shirley took the opportunity to sit beside Lelouch, scooting in closer to his limp self. Why was she seeking more of his attention? He could not understand her reason as he tried to look at her, but to no prevail. He had more questions (even if irrelevant) that bothered him, but his mentality would not allow it. His reservation was stopped by Shirley as her palm rested against his cheek. With a simple pull, she had him looking at her; her smile still sought to comfort him. Taking advantage of his shock, she leaned in closer against his side, her lips nuzzled their way to his ear. Her chest was so close that his arm simply sunk in between her bosom. It was such a tantalizing sensation.
"Stay, ask me anything you want," she whispered as she scaled the stretch of his neck with soft kisses along the way. "Just stay." Her words shot a perverse chill down his spine; his body instinctively shivered as he tried to soothe his aroused mind. This was not an offer he wanted to decline. Rather, he owed it to her out of retribution and out of love. She must have taken his shiver as an indication to seek warmth, prompting her to fall back on the bed and unwrap the covers. Obviously, Lelouch followed suit.
The two laid in bed as though they were lovers, seeking each other's warmth despite the blankets on top of them. Lelouch snaked his left arm under her Shirley's head to act like an additional pillow while the other found comfort on her thigh. Her own hands were preoccupied with trailing along his shoulders and down his back. He wondered where the nervousness and restraint that he should be experiencing as a first timer as he continued to indulge in their comfort. Neither of them tried to speak as they shared rest of a single pillow; the mutual affection was enough for entertainment. However, the questions were quickly pestering Lelouch. He must know.
"Where did you go?" His forehead rested against hers as he looked into her eyes. Was she taken aback by his inquiry? The smile disappeared alongside the movement of her fingers.
"University tours," she simply replied.
"So far away?" His frowning expression might have interpreted concern or worry, but she chuckled at the sight.
"Yeah, South America mostly."
"Why there?"
"Change of scene" An unexpected response trailed by a shrug. She was being vague about her intents.
"Is that all?" He fell back a bit to rest his head on the pillow. "That's the only reason you wanted to go faraway?" She underestimated him; even exhausted, he was very capable of obtaining answers. Shirley sighed as she stared up at her ceiling.
"I don't... don't really want to be here." Lelouch felt inflicted about extracting such volatile emotions from her, but he needed to know. To show support, he grasped her hand and threaded fingers with hers. He brought up the entwined pair to his lips, and kissed the tips of her knuckles. "Not sure I can take it, Lulu." Even though she was still withdrawing critical points, he felt satisfied.
Suddenly, her attention turned sharply to him, her eyes filled with determination. Her weight shifted into him, and brought her body on top of his while she used her elbow as a crutch. Their entwined hands rested beside his head, and their eyes were directly connected in sight. She was serious. "Don't you dare erase my memories," she threatened. The darkening in her green eyes backed her demand. She didn't even need to speak about it; he convinced himself to never attempt such fate again. "I am not going through that again." Obviously, her voice was tainted with anger. "Understood?"
His unbound hand reached for her face and tucked away a strand of hair that hung between them. His thumb traced along her tender lips. "Yeah." He might not have been strongly assuring, but she seemed convinced. She leaned in closer and kissed his left eye before hovering over him for a moment. He had only been kissed a few times in his life: her and C.C.. Much like very other time, he melted under her affection. She was his one major weakness.
"Good," she said as she returned to her spot," I don't like being left in the dark." This time, Lelouch took the offensive while he wound his arm around her.
"I can't apologize enough; sorry, sorry, sorry." He spoke such soft words as he nuzzled her neck affectionately. He teased her a bit by blowing warm air through hair and into her ear. Upon looking into her eyes, he was greeted with an unfamiliar expression. A very vulnerable look in her eyes.
"Is that why you spent so much time with me? You were making it up to me?"
"No." Lelouch knew their time together was much more than the act of seeking forgiveness. His palm found comfort against her face that remained unconvinced. He wanted to tease her some more. "Curiosity. Is that why you spent so much time with me?" His redirection took her by surprise. She simply shook her head.
"Of course not," she responded with a hint of a scoff. She tried to hid her reaction by looking away, but he could tell she was bewildered. A short laugh escaped his lips before pecking a kiss against her temple.
"There were times when you looked at me like you knew more than you let on," he began speaking his thoughts as he looked into her evading eyes, "like there was something you were hiding and wouldn't tell anyone." His explanation caught her and himself by surprise. Was this the first time he revealed such true personal thoughts to someone? The silence between them began to feel uncomfortable as the wait prolonged. Should he open up to her? Hadn't he already passed that point of no return? As he should have expected, she wanted to know more.
"And? I looked secretive. That's why you got close?" The word 'close' reminded him how close she was to him; those lips were merely inches away. He licked his lips instinctively at the thought.
"At first," he admitted, again pushing more stray strands of hair away, "but then, I figured there was more I wanted to know about you. Just for myself." His attention drifted to her braided hair, realizing he had been playing with the few loose ends. The single window above them reminded him that the rain still persisted outside. "I wanted to know if you had figured it out," he resumed before he looked into her eyes again, "and if you had, I wanted to know how. Somewhere along the way, I just... wanted your attention."
Recollections of his attempts to confirm in subtlety clouded his mind; how Suzaku was trying to intervene. "Suzaku seemed to have noticed." A needed sigh returned him back to the world. "He approached you, right?" Shirley simply nodded, evidently dumbstruck by his remarks. Of course, he had expected such.
"When did you know? That I knew?" She seemed to lose courage to face him, more confined to stare at the pillow. He was in the same situation just recalling when. That chemistry lab exposition. The memory haunted them both: the heated stares, his hand between her legs, her harsh breath on his skin, the hungry kisses, driving him insane. He'd forced both of them to divulge secrets kept in seclusion.
"The-um- chemistry lab," he muttered.
"W-Was that on purpose?"
He was unsure how to respond. "Meaning?" Quickly, her face began to blush, probably recreating vivid images in her mind.
"Was that some kind of... interrogation?: She asked in a meek voice before diving her face into the pillow. Her reaction was so cute, enough to get a cheap laugh at, but couldn't bring himself to do such. Afterall-
"No." His reply sparked curiosity; her eye peeked out of a crack. He knew his face was thoroughly flustered. "C-Curiosity."
Surreptitiously, Shirley burst into a series of fake coughs, trying to hide the word 'pervert' amid the noise.
"A-As I recall, you liked it," he emphasized to her under a pouting frown. After a cheap smack to his arm, she repositioned it around her rips. Her leg climbed up to swing over his hips, motioning him to shift over her. He found himself hovering over a perfect pair of emerald orbs gazing up at him.
"Thanks," she said in a soft tone. He frowned down at her, unsure of what she was referring to.
"For what?" Their shift in motion had caused a strap of her shirt to fall to the side; Lelouch took the opportunity to kiss the bare view of her luscious shoulder. Almost by intention, his focus fell down to the new view of her chest; the fallen strap had revealed more of her cleavage than the thin cotton had tried to cover. He could not change his focus; indeed, he thoroughly enjoyed the sight.
"Keeping Suzaku away," she answered a she rubbed her leg against his. Before he could take in her answer, she leaned upwards towards him, and slid her lips across his chin in a more-than-teasing pace.
Lelouch felt that the situation was dangerously straddling the verge of catastrophe; either she or he will ravage the other because of pint-up angst. Before the inevitable could occur, he wanted to know more. He wanted to know: why him? Of all others, she stood by him in all scenarios. He took grasp of her hands, gave both palms and wrists sensual kisses, and pressed them against his face. He spread her fingers across his face to fully engulf his features. His intention was clear: he was all vulnerable and all hers.
"What do you see in me?"
A grand range of emotions flushed through Shirley's face as she considered his exploit: surprise, glee, uncertainty, lust, angst. Her breathing increased and her legs rubbed against each other. Things were about to become interesting.
"Quid pro quo." She breathed out as she looked directly into his eyes. "Agreed?"
Frankly, Lelouch was baffled. He smirked under her hands; she was strategically putting him on the spot alongside her. He was impressed. He slipped his lips through her palms to kiss her forehead. "Anything."
"...Suzaku asked me the same thing once," she remarked in hesitation.
"What did you say?"
"It's like you said: curiosity." Lelouch closed his eyes as he mentally sighed: another tug-of-war.
"I never did find out why you helped that old couple in freshman year."
In an instant, Lelouch was sent on a flashback long before his involvement in the war; a better, blissful time as a real teenager. He envisioned the incident like it had occurred hours ago. The elderly couple had been involved with a minor car crash (if it could be called such) with a stubborn mule of a man that demanded that they take claim to all repairs. Despite the couple wanting to settle on a mutual understanding, the bastard wouldn't budge an inch. Even worse, he was seeking to get physical. Lelouch was nothing more than a convenient witness passing by who lost his patience with the one-sided bickering. Back then, he took direct action for his causes rather than through proxy. A makeshift adjustment of the truck's clutch put the vehicle in motion, drifting down the hill they were on. As desired, he had relieved the couple of the man's harassment, who happened to be a convicted criminal on the run. Inadvertently, Shirley happened to witness his intervention and triggered a love at first sight. After thinking about the incident, he was impressed that she would bring up that occurrence against him.
"They needed the help," he explained in a droll tone as he settled into her touch, "and the guy blaming them was a real bastard. Tell me he didn't deserve it." A light laugh confirmed her agreement.
"You're scarily intelligent," Shirley admitted as her fingers traced over his face, "but then, I already know you pretty well: you like history, science, and detective novels. Mint tea. Semisweet chocolate. Adding pepper to ketchup when you're eating fries. Not the biggest fan of poetry, but you have certain favorites."
Astonishing.
The single word filled his mind as he felt flattered by her thoroughness. Despite the distance he tried to maintain to all friends, she was able to pinpoint his entity. Could he even compare to her? Lelouch only knew so much about Shirley: an avid swimmer. Dedicated friend and student. Fan of romantic literature and interested in journalism and history. Liked all sweets and many types of tea. Above all, she was in love with him.
"You're a walking contradiction," she finished after a lengthy stall.
"Why's that?"
"Because you make me angry and happy." Lelouch felt there was more to this matter as he looked deep into her brightening eyes.
"And sad?"
"Sometimes," she admitted without any hesitation, and for that he kissed her cheek. "A regular walking contradiction. But I've kind of learned how to read you. I can tell when you're lying through your teeth or when you're being sincere. but those seem to be rare with you." Almost on cue, a grin found its way onto Lelouch's face.
"And... And you scare me a little because I don't want this to be a prank you're playing on me that will leave you laughing at me for being a silly girl with a crush." Her gaze moved away to some point on the ceiling as she continued. "I'd rather have you let me in on the joke."
Lelouch could no longer hold himself back as he slipped through her palms to slid lips along her long, luscious neck. Her fingers gripped his hand harder as he progressed farther towards her ear. He nibbled at her earlobe while he waited for her to continue.
"That's all I'm asking for," she finished with a mumble. Her erratic breathing was erotic to his own ears as he stopped at her ear.
"In case you haven't noticed, you're already in." His soothe voice brushed against her skin with such delicacy. Her breath and body shook with such wanton as he continued to caress her. Even he was aroused by his own words. The intellectual part of him wanted to obtain more answers while the instinctual part wanted to make love to her. How they managed to restrain themselves from more... intimate contact was beyond him; the caution behind his caress was not even fathomable by this point. His mind was in debate whether to strive past those tiny sleep shorts or keep caution. He wondered how Shirley had maintained herself thus far as well. Only a mere pair of boxers separated her from the next step. He would have let her take the reign of their development and cheerfully sought out to follow. She was a lustful sight to see her struggle maintaining her own sanity.
"Quid pro quo-"
"You're beautiful." Lelouch refused to hesitate upon her request. She needed to know how he felt for sure. As expected, she blushed profusely.
"Y-Yeah right," she scuffed out of sarcastic disbelief and rolled her eyes in exaggeration. His finger glided over her lips to silence her. As if to tease, she kissed their tips.
"Not just any girl will chase a cat in a swimsuit or make friends with a soldier who has a reputation as a suspected murderer," he clarified. He could play the nostalgia card for bargaining as well. Again, her sight wandered to some location in the room: this time, the curtain.
"It's the little things, really." He took a moment to push back a few wayward strays of hair from her eyes. "Things you have that I don't; things that remind me of what I'm fighting for; things that I want to keep." He studied her wrist while brushing his thumb over her skin.
"Like what?" Her fingers brushed against his face as he kissed the inside of her wrist.
"Your conscience. That you're generous, even with me despite everything. That you're still wanting to share your smile with me and stay with me. Maybe it's just me being selfish, but I don't really care, as long as I can have you." He stifled a yawn; the heavy burden on his eyes reminded him how early in the morning it was. Nonetheless, a disbelief remained on her face after he finished. "You wanted to know," he reminded her in a nonchalant manner.
"Speaking of which..." she hesitated for a few seconds, again trying to avoid his glare. "...Is it true you rifled through my underwear?" A loud cough ruptured though his throat as he pondered her question.
How would she know about th- Damn you, C.C.! I'll make you regret this!
"It was a-an... investigation, at the time." Unexpectedly, she giggled at his reason.
"We are so weird." He nodded in agreement.
"I'll take what I can get." The two were made for each other. Lelouch knew that he made the best decision to visit her tonight instead of distancing himself from her once more. He felt her leg brush against his as he looked into her eyes. The simple motion brought a notion of a more naughtier subject. Oh, how much he wanted to strip her further and-
"In that case, I get reasonable access to your room."
"Huh?" The only thing he could say at that one instant. He was dumbstruck by her proposal. Could she be suggesting...?
"I get to hang out with you," she reiterated as she traced circles with her fingers on his chest. "In your room. I'm not asking to know about any plans, but you're not keeping me away. Not from you." Her intentions reminded him of the domineering position he was over her; hovering over his only sexual desire in this world. The face he looked down at showed no sign of regret in her decision. He deduced that she either had none or she was hiding them very well. The next decision- no, the next action- would likely end soon and disastrously, but he didn't care. Their fate would be left solely in her hands.
"Are you sure? About me?"
Moving aside his hand playing with her hair, Shirley wrapped one arm around his neck while supporting her weight with the other. Her breasts pushed up against his chest as she drew closer. Oh, how soft they were on touch; how much he desired to arouse her through fondle. The sheer touch produced a vivid image of her resilient body spread across the bed that they shared. So many angst thoughts rampaged his feeble, tired mind as he tried to focus on her eyes.
"Yes," she confirmed in a stern tone, "but I'm not sharing you, no matter how many international treaties are on the line." This was a direct warning; she left no room for arguments. Of course, he had no rebuttal to give. She grabbed his right hand and placed it on her chest just above her breast. He could feel the heightened pulse that was mutual between them.
"We don't have to call this anything," she explained in a soft whisper before kissing his ear. The feel of her chest was beyond explicit, tempting him to travel downward. He bit his lip to suppress the want.
"What are you getting out of this?" She wondered aloud as she brought his head down to her chest. "It's not like I can give you anything." The two fell back towards the pillow, Lelouch still on top, and settled into a comfortable embrace.. Neither of them refused to relinquish their hold as they relaxed. Without thought, his hand moved down to slide around her waist, skimming across her breast along the way.
"It's more than you think." Lelouch relaxed above the steady rhythmic pulse of Shirley's heart. Her deep breaths pushed him further into the forgotten state of tranquility. There was nowhere else in the world he wanted to be.
"I love you," she confessed with such ease. Three simple words brought a smile across his exhausted face. The warmth of her palm against his cheek drew him closer to sleep. However, he wanted to hear those pleasant words once more.
"Say that again." Her chest expanded with such depth and delicacy. He listened to the air flow through her lungs as a deep sigh expelled before those glorious three words followed.
"I love you."
A/N: So about that whenever, eh? I can't apologize enough for this forced hiatus for the past 2 months (honestly, 2 months? Wow). Along the way were several undesired projects and a shift in mindset. Let me just say it's good to be writing again after such an extension of time.
As promised, this is the [second] longest chapter that I've produced so far... Yeah, Wonderful Life is still in the lead (...I need to get to work on that, btw). Turns out I wrote 78 pages about this chapter until just yesterday when I started typing it up. Long story short, I forgot where I wrote the chapter and ended up recreating it over. Perhaps that was for the best because I ended up crafting more ideas and conversations that are expressed in the beginning before the goods.
Anyways, hope I haven't lost all of you hardcore fanatics somewhere in time, and I'm currently writing on the next chapter. If I don't get done by the 14th, I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day. Take my advice: be sure to thoroughly celebrate your special love with that person(s). The 's' is for those rare polygamists. (Also Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Chirstmas, Happy New Year, everything else that I missed)
Now if you will excuse me, I've got my eye on that newer entry for Lelouch/Shirley: 'A Stroke of the Brush'...
Special note: Is it mere coincidence that I started watching SEED, and I got a review from Athrun? Weird.