America: Ok! So, like I've designed a really sweet attack plan, which I'm calling Attack Plan Alpha, like alpha dog. Woof! I think it makes use of our strengths in the best way possible.
"Yeah right!" Britain said sarcastically
"I know!" The country who cant read a situation to save his life said enthusiastically.
"I was being sarcastic!"
"You were? Then- HEY! Are you saying my plans aren't good"
"That is exactly what I am saying"
"Now now this isn't the time to fight" France chided.
"You!" America and Britain said in unison and proceeded to beat the holy crap out of him.
Britain goes in suicidal! It's your Charge of the Light Brigade routine
"Wait What?"
England: Huh?
America: France gives up without a struggle!
"What are you saying?"
France: Huh?
America: And for Russia, just keep sending us your cannon fodder! You'll draw the guns away! From me!
"This plan makes no sense"
Russia: Hold on. Question. What are you going to be doing, America?
"yeah what?"
[England – Back me up
France – Back me up
Russia – Back me up]
America: Good question! I'll do what I always do best! And that means: I'm the hero!
"Alright! Not to worry the hero always saves the world!"
The entire non-nation population's reactions were like "Whaat?"
(Opening)
England: No thanks. I'll not be part of another of your halfwit schemes.
"My schemes are not half wit!"
America: Why do you hate me? Are you still pissed off about that whole Revolutionary War thing?
"Not anymore" Britain said smiling at America.
England: Since you're illiterate and not our leader, mostly my mind wonders why you're speaking. Like recalling how we burnt your capital to the ground in 1814.
America: Ah…!
"you know that was cruel!"
"It happened during the world war! Things are way different now and you know it!"
England: Sometimes I picture you as the diabetic fat person you'll likely be in a few more years on your strictly hamburger diet!
"Well that, I agree with past me, you really should stop eating that greasy food. It's not healthy"
"yeah yeah whatever"
"hey listen when I'm talking!"
America: Ah…!
Since we're all sharing our feelings… those pastries you served me when I visited your house the other day?
[Scones]
America: They tasted like petrified couch stuffing!
"I don't get it British food isn't that bad, why do all of you say that it tastes horribly?"
"You're all probably just used to eating British food" France said
"Big Brother France is right, you probably just don't realize that what you are eating is capable of poisoning you"
"That food is torture!" Romano said.
England: Those scones were a recipe passed down by my mumsie!
Russia: Hehe!
America: Those were supposed to be scones? (or something like that. He's choking so he's not speaking clearly)
"Of course they were scones" Britain huffed
[Those things (Scones)]
[This is how the meeting of the Allies begins.]
"It is?"
"It is"
"wow!"
America: Hetalia!
France: When you two are done releasing sexual tension! We have got a meeting we need to finish!
(England and America: Fighting I can't understand)
America: Huh?
England: That's weird! France actually made a rational point!
"I make rational points all the time!"
America: Uh… sorry, that was childish and things got out of hand.
"Wait, did America just act mature?" Most countries thought
England: That's no fair! It's my job to be mature!
"Well that's just immature"
France: Seriously, you two. We have more important things to worry about before settling on our world plans! Like what to do about those tacky military clothes!
"milatry clothes aren't more important than the plans of war!"
[Tacky] [Tacky]
America and England: This is war! And you're wearing a cape!
"They have a very good point?"
France: It's a cloak! Non?
"Why do you wear that?"
"It was fashion at that time"
[Super showy: It is said that he was so showy that he was easily spotted by enemies and kept getting knocked around.]
[Bright blue] [Bright red]
(France: Oh honhonhonhon…honhon…honhonhon…)
France: Hetalia!
England: Pipe down! Your country once surrendered to a boy scout troop on holiday!
"You did?"
"Boys, they really don't read books at all" a girl next to the boy huffed.
[Weak]
France: That was years ago!
China: ? (Shenti hao ma?) Oh great, Britain, France, and America are fighting again over nothing! Why can't you just dominate your people with a totalitarian government, really…
"Because I believe in FREEDOM!"
[Subject 2: If we win, what will we do with their lands?]
China: Here, let me show you how things are decided using ancient Chinese fashion.
Seems simple enough! China take all. You can go home now.
"huh?"
England: I don't think so! What gives you the right to take all the land for yourself!?
China: Because I'm the oldest!
"You're the oldest?"
"How does it work? I mean your age and everything?"
"We don't really know that much about ourselves-aru. I don't know my exact age but I'm around four thousand years old, give or take a few centuries"
"I'm forty-six!" Came the enthusiastic reply from Sealand.
"You're forty-six? But you look like you're eleven"
"Well of course I look like eleven. Eleven is my physical age after all!"
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"Let me explain: Many old courtiers do not know their exact birthday but judging from the things they saw when they were just born we are able to guess their estimated age. But as for the younger countries due to the fact that there were other countries around them they can tell them when they were born. Although the birthday's we celebrate are actually are the day's we gained independence from the countries who looked after us when we were still colonies" Germany tried to explain.
"That is way too confusing"
"I guess humans would not be able to understand the facts and policies of countries"
France: This is worse than trying to manage a bunch of Italians…!
"What did you say!" Romano said angrily before ducking behind Spain and saying "Spain! Protect me from that French bastard!"
China: Hetalia!
France: Just wait! I think we should all sit down and rework the plan.
[Let's calm down a little.]
England: I hate to say it, but he's right…
"Finally! You are started to work"
China: And he smells.
"I smell?"
"Denmark who was sitting next to him, snuffed him.
"Yup you smell!" He said loudly
"Denmark, you're too loud" Norway said quietly
"But you don't mind, because you're my best friend!" He said again his voice so loud that a few people had to cover their sensitive ears.
"No, and stop being so loud" But Denmark didn't hear him.
America: You guys don't like my plan…?
England: It's more YOU, personally.
[Kraut Wop Japan
England Russia
France China]
England: If we divide them based on geography, we get this.
America: Somebody forgot to include Mr. America!
"But you're not near any country you are targeting based on geography"
England: Ugh… fine, you can have Japan. That way you'll at least be staying out of Europe.
America: Old Japan! Let's find out where that is!
[America's world map!]
America: Um…
[America] [America] [America]
"What kind of a world map is that?"
"The American one"
America: It's not on the map!
England, France, Russia, and China: Typical American…
[That's Americans for you.]
"What does that mean?"
"That means that you are defiantly an American"
Well of course I am I mean I'm America!"
Narrator: Chibitalia.
HRE: Hey… Italy… um… will you… teach me how to draw, please?
Chibitalia: Of course I will! But I didn't know that you like to draw!
"Aww, Ita you look so cute like Holy Rome" Hungary said
Italy blushed while Germany was confused.
HRE: Poop! My rabbit look-a like junk!
Chibitalia: No, it's good! Which part don't you like? Ah…! The leg!
Like this!
HRE: Ah..!
I'm going home now!
Germany didn't understand why did his heart beat loudly when Italy grabbed HRE's hand?
Chibitalia: Uh…
(Marukaite Chikyuu: Italy)
France: Hey Russia! You smiled a lot during that meeting even though it was just yelling. How do you stay so calm?
"Oh great you're asking for advice from the commie bastard"
"America:" Russia said with a creepy smile on his face "you really shouldn't say things like that"
"I'm not afraid of you!" America said standing up
"Oh he doesn't mean anything! Britain and France said together pulling him down.
"What are you doing" America said
"Do you want to get hit with his pickaxe or his pipe!"
"I'm not afraid of him"
"You may not be afraid but you shouldn't pick fights in which you have a low chance of winning"
"I have every chance to win!"
"No you don't now sit quietly!"
Russia: That? It's easy! I like to listen to all the loud noises you make together! I grew up very different! My home is very large and very cold and people hate each other quietly. So noisy foolishness is fun to me! My only friend growing up was a yak!
"that's so sad"
France: That's right… your emotions were buried by soul crushing weather and a totalitarian state.
"That's even sadder"
Russia: Fuu… but soon I might probably get to say goodbye to everyone…
"huh? Why?"
France: Ah…?!
Russia: It make me pleasure smile to think how they will all be destroyed by my overwhelming power.
"What?"
"That's so scary!"
France: Ahhh….!
[To be continued]