It was no trouble to get Dobby to help him with this next little prank. The House Elf was only too eager to help Harry Potter. Harry had handed over the box of catnip with specific instructions. He knew he could rely on Dobby.

*

Chapter 12

Severus' day was blissfully Potter-free. He'd not seen the little brat all day. Except at meals, but that was ok. He didn't have to put up with the whiney voice or the pouty face. Or the big green eyes… he was glad Potter was out of his hair for the day.

He sat down to dinner with his usual blank expression and disdain for joining so many people for a meal. He really hated eating with these people sometimes. But, Dumbledore insisted that he be present at most of the meals. He was just glad he had the weekends to himself.

He ate his meal in silence, occasionally allowing himself to glare at Potter. Just for fun. He didn't know how, but whenever he glared at the boy, he'd look up and glare right back. Somehow, he always knew when Severus was looking. Smart arsed little shit… He poured himself some tea and drank that while everyone was finishing dessert. He wasn't in the mood for ice cream or cake. Though, he could really go for a treacle tart… he hadn't had one of those in a while… But this mint tea was exquisite. He made a note to get some more from the House Elves.

*

Harry found himself glaring back up at Snape more than usual at dinner that night. He wondered what'd got in the old man's knickers. He almost giggled at that. Snape… in knickers! He snorted into his pudding, earning a few odd looks from his friends.

"You Ok, Harry? You've been glaring at Snape most of the meal," asked Ron, as he, inevitably, helped himself to more food. "What did you do?" He stuffed his face full of apple pie.

"Me? Why do you assume I did something? Are you taking his side, Ron? Is there something you're not telling me… or Hermione?" Harry smirked at Ron's red ears. He loved being able to do that to the boy. Sometimes ruffling his feathers was a good way to get his thoughts from a certain Potions Master.

"No!" He thwacked Harry upside the head. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Harry," he mumbled, loading his plate once more.

"It obviously isn't food. You've eaten it all!" He laughed, dodging Ron's hand again, fleeing the hall. He had some plans to carry out. He hoped Snape liked his tea. He chuckled darkly as he made his way to the Dungeons. This was going to be so much fun.

*

Severus decided he'd had enough of the company of the entire school for one evening. He drank the last of his third cup of mint tea and headed towards his rooms. He was looking forward to some alone time.

As he turned the corner to his rooms, he heard a strange sound. He couldn't make it out at first, but when he reached his corridor, he thought he knew what it was. Cats. He hated cats. Loathed the disgusting little beasts. He looked around, trying to find the source of the hideous sounds. There was nothing in the corridor. Then, he saw something to make his blood run cold. His portrait was open. He took out his wand and stalked towards his room. The sounds got louder. He scowled. How the hell did those filthy beasts get into my room! He shoved open the door, wand aloft, and strode into his own personal hell. Cats everywhere.

A large sneeze from Severus alerted the cats to his presence. Immediately, the room was silent as they turned their heads to face the intrusion. Severus looked on in horror as they stalked towards him, devilish eyes alight. Another large sneeze sounded from him, making him drop his wand. It rolled away under the ruined, scratched couch. His eyes widened in horror as the furry mass of demon spawn made its way to him. His nose was starting to block, but run at the same time. He sniffed as he took a step back. Why did I have to walk so far into the room? He chanced a look back at his door. Which he'd closed. It was so far away! He turned to face the advancing felines, his hands up in front of him, a form of surrender. He hoped they didn't pounce until he'd made it out the door.

*

Harry watched as Snape backed away slowly, fearfully it seemed, from the fifty or so cats in his rooms. He had his hands up in a pitiful defensive gesture, as he tried not to let his allergies get the better of him. It was hilarious! He giggled as he watched from under his invisibility cloak. He loved having Dobby as his friend. It made moments like this possible.

He kept his place by the fireplace, crouched low, under his invisibility cloak. If Snape saw him, he was dead. But this was just too good to miss. He was glad Dobby remembered to leave the door open.

He'd renewed his threat to the unpleasant Portrait guardian and made his way inside, just as Dobby was finishing with his task. He'd jumped a foot in the air when Harry'd entered the room.

When Harry showed himself, Dobby had squealed in joy, explaining how he'd hidden catnip in the couch cushions and made a paste with it to cover the walls and door. Harry was beside himself with glee as he rolled on the floor, laughing with Dobby. It was almost too much. Almost.

Harry then waited while Dobby retrieved some familiars, petting and cuddling them before setting them down in the middle of the room. Soon, Dobby had found as many as he could and left, wishing Harry luck.

All he had to do now was wait and watch.

He watched as the cats became excited, licking at the walls and clawing at the couch. Some started rubbing themselves along the catnip-covered surfaces. He tried not to watch as a few cats started humping. He really didn't find that thrilling… though it would be funny to see Snape's reaction to it… So, he let them be, giggling every so often as he imagined what would happen when his teacher arrived.

He didn't have to wait too long.

When Snape had entered, poised for battle, Harry had almost blown his cover. His teacher looked so serious! And when he'd seen all the cats in his room… the look on his face! It was priceless! Harry had to stuff a fist in his mouth to keep from making a sound.

Snape had come so far into the room, and he'd closed the door, without a second thought. Harry almost felt sorry for him when he realised his teacher was allergic to cats. Until he remembered the hair in his arse, and the oh-so-witty nickname of "Hairy Potter" following him around thanks to Draco Malfoy. Harry still had to get his revenge on the bastard, but that could wait. Right now, he was enjoying watching his teacher back away helplessly as the cats stalked him like a mouse. Harry wondered how much of that tea he'd drank.

*

Severus made a dash for the door, hoping he'd be faster than the familiars behind him. He was wrong.

He tripped over one of the little bastards as he tried to make his escape, landing face-first on the floor, just a few feet before the door. He yelped as the mob finally made its move. As one, the fifty or so cats pounced, landing on every part of Severus they could. He could feel the tiny claws digging into him. He could just imagine all the cat hair covering him and his room. He'd be sneezing for weeks. Nothing got cat hair out! Not even magic!

He growled as he thrashed around trying to get the animals off him. He kicked and swatted and wriggled as they humped and clawed and nuzzled and licked and bit. His eyes were watering and his nose was clogging. He needed to get out of there, now! He tried to summon his wand, but he couldn't for all the sneezing and coughing. He continued to fend off the enemy with as much dignity as he could.

Finally, after ten minutes of furious kicking and thrashing, he was able to stand up. His robes were ruined, shredded and covered in cat hair. He shuddered, aiming a good kick at a mangy looking tabby, sending it across the room. It hit the door to his bedroom with a yowl and slid down, landing on its feet. It slowly made its way back over, as Severus continued to fight his way to the door.

He swung it open, cursing at the idiot in the frame, as he ran down the corridor. He looked back over his shoulder, yelping slightly as he saw the mob chasing after him. He was getting tired as he pumped his legs, urging himself to make it to the Great Hall. He knew dinner would be over, but he also knew he'd have more room to move.

Suddenly, he felt something on his back. He reached back and pulled the furry demon off, wincing as the claws ripped his robes even more. He threw it at the rest, hoping it would slow them down at least a little. It only bowled a few over, the rest leaping over their fallen comrades to continue the chase.

*

Harry had followed the mini battle out into the corridor. He had to run to keep up. Damn, Snape is fit! He had a bit of trouble keeping the invisibility cloak around him completely, but he managed to make it to the Great Hall without Snape seeing him. He watched as his teacher leaped over the tables and chairs to get away from his pursuers. He had no idea Snape could move so fast! And so elegantly at the same time. Apart from seeing him trip over the cat in his rooms, Harry hadn't seen Snape make another clumsy mistake. Every move he made seemed to be calculated and perfectly executed – though, he knew they weren't. Snape was just trying to get away from the crazy animals chasing him.

Harry laughed aloud, wondering if Snape knew why he was being chased by the randy animals. He doubted he did. But it was still a lot of fun to see.

He marvelled once more at the speed with which Snape could move. He was getting tired just keeping up. And he hadn't had to fight off horny familiars for ten minutes before running through half the castle! He felt a surge of pride and affection towards his teacher. He had to hand it to the man – he was in great shape and could probably take care of himself without a wand if need be. Even with allergies.

*

Severus had no idea who to turn to. This was embarrassing. He'd lost his wand, tripped over and had been mauled – practically molested – by cats. He shuddered at the memory of feeling one humping his leg as he tried to kick it off… Ugh. I need a shower! He punched at another one as it flew through the air. He hissed as it managed to scratch him before he'd sent it flying backwards into another cat. This is ridiculous! Why on earth are these filthy creatures chasing me!

He needed someone who knew something about cats. He knew of only one person who could be any help. Minerva. He made his way to her office, knowing she'd be there grading papers and managing her Head of House duties. Thank God for her predictability! He leaped over the Staff table gaining a bit of distance between him and his hunters. He was getting a stitch in his side, but refused to give up! He would make it to Minerva's office! He had to!

He made it. He made it! He didn't bother knocking, but burst into her office with no further ado. He slammed the door shut behind himself and leant against it, breathing heavily. He was exhausted.

Finally, Minerva spoke, obviously having allowed him some time to pull himself together.

"And, to what do I owe this pleasant surprise, Severus?"

"Cats!" He wheezed out, hands on his knees, still trying to get his breath back.

"I see. And… which cats are you talking about?" She looked sceptically at him, raising herself from her desk, approaching him. She helped him straighten up and walk shakily to the chair before her desk. He heard her shallow intake of breath and looked up to see her looking at him with an odd glaze in her eyes.

"The cats that chased me from my room through half the bloody school! The ones that are locked outside your door, probably waiting for me to come out!" He ignored the bizarre glint in her eye and explained what had happened.

"So, now you're here, looking for my help?" She smirked, obviously taking pleasure in his squirming. He felt ridiculous sitting before her, in torn robes, no wand and a shoe missing. He felt like he'd just been through another of the Marauders' evil little pranks and was trying to get some kind of justice on them. He winced as she came back around the desk, standing beside him, arms crossed.

"Obviously," he sneered, crossing his own arms. "I'm allergic to cats, as you well know. I have no idea why they followed me. And I need someone to get rid of them so I may retire for the night!" He growled, standing to tower over her, hoping to get back some form of dignity.

"Well, Severus…" she breathed, unfolding her arms, "how will you earn my help?" She lay her hands on his shoulders, coming in close, her nose at his neck, taking in a deep breath. "What is that delightful smell..? Severus… what are you wearing? Is it a new mint cologne of some sort?" She came even closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, nuzzling his cheek. He stood frozen to the spot, horrified at what was happening.

"M-Minerva?" He brought his hands up, trying to gently push her away.

"Severus." She slid her hands down his chest, pushing her bony fingers under the shredded cloth, pushing it off, revealing his firm, pale torso. She suddenly nipped his earlobe while raking her nails down his chest, leaving faint red marks. He shuddered. This was just so wrong. He pushed her away, firmly but gently. Something was definitely going on.

*

Harry was too late. He had McGonagall's office door slammed in his face. He sighed, wondering how long it would take for Snape to emerge. He noticed the cats still lingering outside the door, sniffing the gap between the wood and the floor. He shooed them away, for something to do while he waited.

He didn't have long to wait before a now-shirtless Severus Snape came out of the room, looking horrified and slightly dazed. He watched as the usually-stoic man leant against the wall and… sobbed? He felt a pang of guilt as he watched his professor try to get himself pulled together once more. He walked over to him, silently as possible, and listened to what he was muttering.

"Fucking cats…" Harry swallowed thickly, backing away. He really didn't need to be caught by his professor at that moment. He sounded livid. He tried to make a swift, silent getaway, but as his luck would have it… he tripped on the invisibility cloak. He fell back, landing painfully on his arse with a cry. This was more than enough to alert his teacher of his presence. He cursed his clumsiness as Snape stood abruptly, stalking over to him and ripping the cloak from his body.

"You!" He snarled, grabbing Harry's robes, hauling him up. "What have you done?" He dragged him back into McGonagall's office, shoving him into the seat before her desk, demanding his explanation. "What have you done? You little brat!" He seethed, thrusting the invisibility cloak at McGonagall and crossing his arms threateningly. He glared down at Harry, awaiting his answer.

"Severus… what's going on?" McGonagall looked a little nervous. Harry noticed she kept her distance from the enraged Potions Master. "What has Potter got to do with anything?" She seemed to gain a bit of courage and approached Snape, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. The man tensed and moved away from her touch. Harry noticed a wince from McGonagall and a shake of her head, as though she were trying to will the affects of a spell away. She leant back against her desk, her hands to her temples. "Severus, what is going on?" She finally looked up, a tired, yet dazed look in her eyes.

"Why don't you ask him that?" He spat, glaring at Harry. McGonagall turned a quizitive look to him, wondering what was going on.

Harry was lost for words. He was in big trouble. How would he explain why he was outside McGonagall's office under his invisibility cloak, after hours? He could probably deny any knowledge of anything to do with the cats, but he knew Snape suspected him at the very least. He didn't know what he was going to say.

"Honestly, Severus! He was probably just sneaking to the kitchens. Leave Potter out of this." McGonagall shot Harry a look before ushering Severus out of her office. Harry noticed the odd look in her eyes once more. "I'm sure you can get one of the House Elves to help you with your rooms, Severus. I will deal with Potter. Good night." She shut the door behind him, locking it with a flick of her wand when she returned to her desk. "Potter. I know you had something to do with whatever is going on with Professor Snape tonight. Explain." She looked at him sternly, but not unkindly. He swallowed before explaining what had happened. Catnip and all.

"I didn't know it did that to cats! I just thought they liked to eat it! I thought they'd just rub on him or something!" He looked at his knees, sheepishly, awaiting her punishment. What he got instead was laughter. "What's so funny?" He was a little wary. She could still decide to punish him.

"Potter! You brat! I thought… haa, I thought I'd gone crazy! You don't need to know the specifics of that…" she sobered a little, looking slightly flushed. "As humorous as your little prank was, it could have been quite serious. And not to mention breaking and entering a professor's private chambers." She pursed her lips, looking at him as though not knowing what to do with him. Finally, she seemed to reach a decision. "I won't punish you for your prank. It was quite an experience to witness Severus Snape in such a state. However. You did break into his private rooms. I cannot let that go. Therefore, fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor, and you will serve detention with Professor Snape tomorrow, at lunch. Now, off to bed with you."

*

Severus made sure the team of Elves got rid of every trace of cat hair in his living area. He was glad the little beasts hadn't been in his bedroom.

When the Elves had fixed his furniture and made his room smell like pine, he decided to have a nice long soak in the bath before going to bed.

Just as he was about to climb into bed, a letter flew from his floo and hit him in the forehead. He growled, reading the quick note from McGonagall.

Severus,

Potter has detention with you tomorrow at lunch. I knew you were busy after hours and that you'd want swift action.

I apologise for my behaviour earlier. You were correct. It was Potter. I will not betray student-teacher confidentiality. Know that he is punished, as well as fifty points being taken from Gryffindor.

Good night.

Minerva.

He scowled, scrunching up the parchment and throwing it away. He had a nasty detention for Potter planned. And he was going to enjoy every moment of it.

AN: Yipe! Poor Severus! I hope he's not too harsh on Harry though! Lol, I hope you all enjoyed this latest instalment of Harry Cocker!

Hehe, the catnip prank is Egglorru's wonderful idea. I think I mentioned it in the last AN, but she deserves credit for it again, methinks!