Dragging his mind from his past, he focussed on the boy in his lap who'd moved from his temple to his throat. He was glad he could cover whatever marks he made with a large cloak or scarf…

"Mmnh, Severus… I love you." His heart stopped. What?

*

Chapter 21

"What?" Severus couldn't believe his ears. His brain must have stopped working for a moment because he thought he heard Harry Potter say "I love you," to him. Not possible.

"I love you." Harry sounded a little wary now. "Severus?"

"I… need to think," he said, dazedly. He gently pushed Harry away so he may get up, dress with a quick spell and Floo to another part of the castle, closer to the entrance doors. He needed some air. Harry just sat on the bed, mouth agape, eyes watering.

Severus exited Hogwarts and decided to walk the grounds. It was late afternoon and he had nothing to do. It was the perfect opportunity to think about what had just happened. He made his way to the lake. It was where he mostly came to clear his thoughts. If no one else was there.

Damn her. Granger was there. He made to walk away, growling at his luck.

"Professor Snape?" Her soft voice called, bringing him to a halt. As a teacher, even on the weekends, he couldn't turn away a student. Even the annoying ones. Gritting his teeth, he turned to face her, trying to keep his features as blank as possible.

"Miss Granger," he somewhat-greeted.

"How are you, sir? I thought you'd be with…" she trailed off, her face flushing a faint pink.

"With whom, Miss Granger? Not that it is any of your business," he glared at her.

"Er… Harry, sir. I meant Harry. He… told me—" He cut her off.

"He told you!" Fuck!

"Sir?" He quickly recovered, straightening up and schooling his features.

"I'm sure he did. Tell me, what do you plan to get out of it? Money?" He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. He was sure she was out to blackmail. Damn opportunistic—

"Get? Sir, I don't understand…" she looked confused.

"You plan on blackmailing me, Granger?" He was getting confused now.

"Blackmailing you? Whatever for?" She tentatively stepped forward. "Professor Snape?"

"You just said Harry told you about our… relationship," he whispered the word, looking around for possible eaves droppers. At this, the damned Gryffindor burst out laughing. Tears soon started forming in her eyes and her face flushed further. Severus wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know what was going on.

"Sir… you think I'd blackmail you? You're my best friend's… lover." She sobered a little, wiping her tears away. "I covered for him last night and this morning so he could visit you." She smiled. "He really likes you, sir." At his confused look, she continued. "Whenever I'm with him, just him, he's always talking about you. How wonderful you are, how handsome you are, how much he loves to tease you because you're a "grumpy old bastard" – I quote…" she looked a little embarrassed at that, but kept his gaze evenly. "He loves you, sir."

"I… see. Good day, Miss Granger," he nodded, leaving her to herself. He could think elsewhere.

*

Harry stared dumbly at the fireplace for a good five minutes before what had just happened sunk in. He'd just been rejected. He'd told the man of his dreams he loved him and had been rejected. He'd even sent Severus running. He didn't understand. Had he done it wrong? Did he need to do something first? Did he need to prove something? He thought Severus loved him, too. He'd thought the man felt the same! Flopping back on the bed, he closed his eyes, willing the confused, angry tears away. Why doesn't he love me?

**

After an hour of crying his eyes out, Harry decided he should leave. It'd be awkward to still be there when Severus came back. After all, he had no business being in his rooms anymore. It wasn't like they were a couple. Was it just the sex? Did he just want sex? The thought swam around his head as he dressed, wiping away any stray tears that made an appearance. By the time he was back in his dormitory, he was exhausted. Emotionally, anyway. Sniffling a little, he curled up in bed and fell asleep.

*

Severus paced his office, arms behind his back, one hand clasping the other wrist, his face downcast and grim, his steps quick. He was thinking about what both Harry and Granger had said. The boy had just declared his love. Granger had just declared Harry's love, too. But, how did he feel about Harry? Sure, he liked the boy… sometimes. OK… I like him. He admitted that much. But, love? Did he love him? He didn't know. He looked back over the past month and a half, analysing their interactions. He remembered the way he'd felt on most occasions, and found that most of the time, his heart fluttered, his brain went fuzzy and his eyes were only for Harry. He remembered their date and how beautiful the boy had looked. He remembered holding the much-smaller hand in his own, the way the little fingers caressed his hand and wrist. How intimate they'd been together. How he'd never be able to forget Harry's smile. Or the way his face contorted in anger. Or confusion. Or sadness. He thought of the first time they made love, only the night before. It had been perfect. Harry was the best thing that'd happened to him in a long time. But… dare he hope that he, Severus Snape, was in love? Again? Dare he hope that someone else actually returned those feelings? He shook his head, suddenly realising how utterly stupid he'd been, and ran straight to his rooms.

Wiping the silly tears away from his face, he entered the room, only to find it empty. Harry had gone. Well, of course he's gone, you moron! You all but rejected him! He sighed, flopping onto the bed, covering his face with his hands, completely at a loss for what to do now. How do I fix this one?

**

Harry awoke just before dinner, feeling terrible. His nose was stuffy, his eyes were swollen and sore, and he had a throbbing headache. He didn't want to face the Great Hall. He didn't want to see anyone. Especially if they were happy. But, his stomach was growling, and he didn't want to go to the kitchens. And he didn't want Dobby fussing over him if he were to order from his bed. So, a shower, he decided, was what he needed.

Dressing in some old clothes, not caring about his appearance, he shuffled around, prolonging the trip to the Great Hall. He tidied his trunk, threw away scrap paper and even went over his prank plans for the coming week. He added some in, wanting to take his anger out on someone. And, he had the perfect victim. Who better to take revenge on than the one making him feel this way in the first place?

Finally, he decided he was too hungry to wait any longer. He pulled on his shoes and made his way to dinner, hoping Ron had left some food for him.

*

Severus paced the hearth in his living room. He wanted Harry back, but had no idea how to fix the ultimate fuck-up of his life. I'm a classic fool. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated at his inability to come up with a solution to his problems. As much as he'd like to be able to simply approach the boy and kiss sense into them both, it wasn't going to work. The brat was as capable of holding a grudge as he was. And, he thought, this time he deserved it. He'd made a royal mess of everything. And the morning after our first time! His very first time! You idiot, Severus! He stopped pacing, only to hit his head on the mantle, wishing it'd knock him out so he wouldn't have to face the Great Hall. He didn't know if he could handle seeing Harry. He didn't know what would be worse; seeing him happy and laughing with his friends after Severus was sure he'd broken his heart, or seeing him sullen and moody, obviously in pain because of what his idiot teacher had done. After one more good whack, Severus pulled himself away from the mantle, bracing himself for whatever he may see at dinner.

*

Dinner was its usual bright, cheery affair. As soon as Harry walked into the Hall, his senses were assaulted with light, the smell of rich food and the buzzing of chatter as his fellow students enjoyed their meals.

Harry wanted to hex them all and spit in their food. He was still feeling miserable. He'd briefly hoped that the familiar sight of Hogwarts' dinner would cheer him up. But it had died as soon as he saw everyone so obliviously happy. It made him sick.

"Harry, where've you been? Here, I saved you some food." Ron pulled him down to sit next to him, in front of a plate piled with food. His stomach growled at the sight of meat pie and vegetables. He was miserable, but still hungry. The wonders of being a teenage boy. "Hurry up, dessert's gonna start soon," said Rong, through a mouthful of meat and gravy. Feeling somewhat better at seeing his best friend's antics, Harry dug in, willing himself to forget a certain snarky, snugly Professor Snape.

*

Severus took his seat at the staff table. He was not really in the mood to eat. Especially with all the happy people around. However, he was not going to let anyone see him as anything other than a professional. He loaded his plate and ate, refusing to watch Potter eat and talk. He was going to get the little shit back, but it didn't mean he had to watch him being happy without him.