Chapter 2
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It was a Sunday afternoon A week had passed and despite a few upsets, and tears both girls seemed to be settling in okay, however lily still seemed really quiet at times. Rachel realised that she would have to get the girls settled in at a new school. Lily would be just going into reception so she shouldn't have too much to catch up on. Rachel knew it would be a bit harder for Rosie as she would be starting secondary school now, Rachel had been looking round and she'd narrowed it down to a few schools, she didn't really want to send Rosie to waterloo road thinking this would be a bit unfair on her.
Joe had been called away to work for the weekend so it was just Rachel and the girls at home, although she was missing joe, like she always did when he was away with work it was nice for her to have some time with the girls, just to herself.
Rachel was in the kitchen doing some baking when lily came in.
"Hello love, you fancy coming and giving me a hand I could really use one"
"Okay" lily said
"We best find you an apron then, don't want your clothes getting dirty"
Rachel found her an apron, but It was absolutely massive on her and when Rachel saw her she started laughing
"Careful you don't trip up on that love" Rachel said laughing
Rachel got lily putting the cases on the tray while she did the mixing.
They'd been in the kitchen a few minutes when lily said "please can I go to the toilet?"
"You need to stop asking me that, you really don't need my permission to go to the loo, just go"
Lily dashed off and Rachel sighed, she wished lily felt more relaxed around here and didn't always feel like she had to ask before she did anything.
When lily came back they carried on doing some baking.
"We're going to see about getting you into school tomorrow love" Rachel said wanting to have a chat to both Girls about school.
"I don't think I'll like school" lily mumbled
"I think you will sweetheart, you'll learn lots of new things and make loads of new friends what's not to like?"
Lily shrugged her shoulders but started biting her nails, over the week Rachel had began to notice she did this a lot when she was feeling a bit anxious about something.
Rachel gently took Lily's fingers out of her mouth and brought her face towards her
"What is it you don't think you'd like about school"
"I just don't really like new things"
"You're going to be fine I promise, it might be a bit hard at first but you'll soon get used to it, promise"
"But I don't know what to do there" lily said sounding small
"Well no one does until they learn" Rachel said smiling at her "trust me you're going to be just fine"
"But what if ..."
"Hey stop you're worrying okay"
Lily still felt really worried but decided not to say anything else, as it was obvious Rachel was going to make her go no matter how much she didn't want to.
They finished making the mixture for the cakes so put them in the oven.
"Once these are out I think we could all do with a trip out, maybe a walk down in Stanley woods"
"Okay" lily said.
As soon as the cakes were out Rachel made sure the girls had there coats on as it was cold outside and got them both in the car.
"I was just saying to lily, tomorrow we need to start getting you sorted In school"
"No" Rosie said instantly "I mean I don't need to go"
"What do you mean you don't need to go?" Rachel said laughing "of course you need to go to school"
"No I don't want to, I can just stay at home and look after the house"
"No you can't" Rachel sighed
It was sad for Rachel to think this is what Rosie must have been used to doing at home, she'd had so little of a childhood.
"We'll have a talk later, I've got a few brochures so you'll have to have a look through them, and I've made some calls so we can go and have a look round tomorrow at a few"
"Rachel what's school like?" Lily asked
"It's great you're going to love it"
"But what do you do there"
"Well it's something you'll go to everyday, probably till you're at least 16, and you learn lots of new things like, how to count and spell things and read, but you'll get lots of playtime too, so you can make lots of new friends" Rachel explained "and I'll drop you off at about 8:30 tomorrow so we can have a little look round, then you know you met my mum a couple of days ago"
"Yes" lily said
Rachel had thought it was important for the girls to get to know a lot of people quite quickly so everyone could get to know one another. Luckily both girls had taken really well to her mum and dad.
"Well she's going to come and pick you up at 3 and then you're going to go to her house for a bit then I'll pick you up"
"Why can't you pick me up"
"Well because as soon as Rosie gets sorted I've got to get back to work"
"What do you do at work?" Lily asked
"I'm a teacher at a big school love, well actually I'm the head-teacher there"
"What's that"
"It means I'm in charge"
"That sounds like someone scary" lily mumbled
Rachel laughed at this "well I'm not that scary am I?"
Lily shook her head.
Rachel decided to stop talking about school for now, as Rosie was just staying quiet and staring out the window so it was obvious she was quite worried about it and Rachel decided it was best if she just had a quiet talk with her later on.
When they were there, Rachel helped get lily out of her booster seat and then got her waterproof coat out the boot.
"We could have done with some wellies by the look of it girls"
The three of them started walking round and after a while they started to enjoy it, lily especially always found it easier to talk to people when she was walking instead of sat down.
"Rachel can I ask you something?" Rosie said sound a little apprehensive
"Of course you can love"
"Well why did you decide to you know... Adopt us"
Rachel thought about how she was going to answer this for a few seconds, before putting her arms round both the girls as they walked.
"What do you two girls want to do when you're older?"
Rosie looked at her wondering why she wasn't answering her question but said "I want to be a dancer"
"I'm not sure but I think I want to live with lots of animals" lily said causing the other two of laugh
"Well there you go see both of you know what you want to do already, and I knew right from when I was your age lily I wanted to be a mum and the two of you both know about my daughter ...well the thing is after she died I was told ..." Rachel said however she could feel tears beginning to for, in her eyes however she quickly brushed them away really hoping the girls hadn't seen "I was told I could never be a mum"
"Why not" lily asked
"Because a baby couldn't grow in my tummy love, so I decided I would adopt because what me and joe want more than anything else is a family"
They walked for a bit in silence all three of them in there own worlds.
"What do you girls fancy for tea tonight?" Rachel asked
"Can we have pasta" Rosie asked
"Yeah sure"
They walked on a bit further however Lily's little legs were starting to get really tired so they decided it was time to head back.
They were walking back when Rachel noticed lily starting to look a bit uncomfortable and walking strangely so guessed she needed to go to the toilet, but she couldn't see any, she began to get a bit worried as lily was quite desperate and after all she was only 4 so she couldn't hold on that long.
"Lily do you have to go to the toilet?" Rachel asked
Lily shook her head at first feeling embarrassed but then nodded
"Come with me, Rosie stay here love"
Rachel took Lily's hand and took her behind some bushes.
"Just go here, no one will see"
Lily was a bit reluctant but she didn't really have a choice, so just went.
"Come on then you"
Rachel took her hand again and they walked back up however when they were up there they saw Rosie wasn't there.
"Rosie" Rachel shouted getting really worried
She looked around and couldn't see her, but suddenly she heard someone crying behind one of the trees so rushed over and saw it was Rosie
"Hey, hey what's happened" Rachel asked
"There was a man" Rosie sobbed
"What man where?" Rachel asked
"He walked last but he looked scary and thought he was going to hurt me"
Rachel sighed before wrapping her arms around Rosie until she calmed down, there'd actually been a few instances like this with both girls, they were just so scared of getting hurt and most men seemed to scare them.
"It's okay, I'm sorry for leaving you but you're nice and safe I promise you my love"
"I'm sorry I just got scared"
"I know but trust me theres no need to be safe, I'm not going to let any harm come to you, I won't take you places that are scary or get you to meet up with people who are going to harm you, or ...well,anything that'll put you in danger, I promise okay"
"Okay" Rosie said
Lily's legs were hurting quite a lot now and she seemed really tired so Rachel picked her up and carried her back to the car, luckily she was really light so this wasn't too much of a struggle.
They'd been driving for a while when Rachel remembered she had to pick a few things up from tesco
"I've got to nip to tesco for a few things is that okay with you girls?"
"Yeah that's fine" Rosie replied
Rachel turned to face lily however she saw she was fast asleep.
"Bless her, she must be tired out"
"She normally has a nap about this time though, she gets really tired" Rosie explained
"Oh yeah I've noticed that, she was sat at the table yesterday while I was doing some cooking, anyway a few minutes later I turned round and she was fast asleep at the table"
Rosie laughed at this, often both Rachel and joe forgot how young lily was so she did have quite a lot of baby habits.
"Rachel" Rosie said feeling nervous
"Yeah?"
"Do I really have to go to school tomorrow"
"Yep" Rachel answered back
"Oh"
"We'll have a proper talk about it later love when your sisters in bed maybe"
Rosie didn't say anything else just stared out of the window, but already she started to feel a bit sick and nervous.
When they pulled up at tesco Rachel saw that lily was still fast asleep, and she was actually sucking her thumb. Rachel smiled at her, she really did look very cute, which made her feel awful waking her.
She opened the back door and gently stirred her awake
"Where am I?" Lily asked suddenly feeling scared and confused
"It's alright love you're just with me, we need to go to tesco remember"
Lily looked around and once she saw where she was and who she was with she calmed down
Rachel took hold of Lily's hand as they crossed the road and they walked Into the shop.
Lily was still quite tired so was quite clingy as they were walking round and didn't say much.
As they were walking round Rachel picked up everything she needed so started to head to the cash point
"Do you girls need anything?" Rachel asked
"No" Rosie replied
"Okay well come on then, let's go and pay"
Once they'd paid for there shopping they got back in the car and headed home.
Lily still seemed tired so Rachel out her on the sofa, she realised now that she was going to be starting school she'd need to get her into a proper routine, as she couldn't exactly be falling asleep all the way through school.
She decided to get on with some of her own work, as she realised she had a lot to catch up on. Rachel knew she'd have to have another talk with Rosie about school later, she'd tried bringing it up in the car earlier on the way back from tesco but it hadn't gone down too well.
Rachel was just looking over some of her emails when Rosie came into the room.
"Hey love what's up"
"What are periods, I saw this advert on tv and it was something to do with them"
"What you mean you've never heard of...I mean no ones ever had a talk to you about them" Rachel asked genuinely shocked afterall Rosie was 11 now
Rosie just shook her head
"Okay you and I need to have a little talk, come on let's go and sit down in your room"
Rachel didn't really know how to talk about this, and she felt a bit nervous but she knew, it did need to be done, she was just a bit unsure of what to actually say.
Once they'd gone into her room Rachel sat on her bed
"Come and sit down love,come on" Rachel said patting a space beside her
Feeling a bit confused Rosie went and sat down next to her
"Well you see, when you get older, though actually probably about the age your at now, there's all sorts of changes that go on"
"Oh"
"Do you think you can tell me what any of the changes are?"
Rosie could tell what Rachel was getting at but felt a bit embarrassed so shook, her head, cheeks flushing a bit
"Well the fact you're looking all embarrassed tells me you do, but if you don't want to say that's fine okay, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable" Rachel said "but periods are just another type of change you have to go through, there something every woman has once a month and it's where you bleed a bit for a few days, from ... Well around where you go to the loo from"
"That sounds horrible"
"It's not too nice at first but you get used to it after a while"
"How old will I be?"
"It depends love, some girls are 11 some are 14 or 15"
"I hope I'm 14 or 15" Rosie said
Rachel smiled at this, she was glad she'd had that talk with her, burn she was so surprised someone else hadn't as even if someone at home hadn't talked to her about it, she knew they covered it in sex ed in year 6
"The thing is, when it does happen it's best you come and pull me aside and tell me about ... Love I really am surprised no ones talked about this with you before"
"Who's there to talk to though, my dad was too busy drinking and hitting us to sit down and talk about things"
"Okay fair enough not your dad but I'd have thought you'd have covered it in school, or one of your friends would have said something"
Rosie didn't say anything just shuffled and looked a little awkward, and all this made Rachel suspicious.
"So what was it like your old school?"
"Okay I guess"
"Did you have a favourite subject"
Rosie shrugged her shoulders and looked at the floor, determined not to make eye contact with Rachel.
"So what level did you get up to"
Rosie shrugged again but this time tears started to form In her eyes.
Rachel saw them and pulled Rosie into her chest and soon Rosie started crying properly.
"Hey, come on surely it can't be that bad" Rachel soothed
"It is"
"Okay tell me then"
"I've never been to school properly before" Rosie sobbed "my dad said he needed me at home"
"Oh sweetheart, why on earth didn't you just come and talk to me about it huh?"
"I thought you'd be mad, I really am sorry"
"Hey look at me Rosie" Rachel said bringing her chin up to face her "what are you sorry for?"
"I don't know" rosie mumbled
"You've nothing to feel sorry for I promise, at school there going it give you all the help they can get to bring you up to speed" Rachel said "so how much have learnt just at home and stuff?"
"Well I can read and write, and add up"
"Well that's a good start isn't is sweetheart, honestly it won't take long before you're at the same stage as the rest of them"
Rachel stayed talking to Rosie for quite a while and after Rosie felt quite a lot calmer about everything.
The two of them got up and Rachel decided to go and check on lily and then get some tea on.
Rachel went down and saw lily was still fast asleep on the sofa, she was sucking her thumb and snoring gently, Rachel knew she'd need to wake her now or she'd never get her off To sleep tonight.
Eventually she stirred
"Sorry darling, you ready to get up for me now though"
Lily opened her eyes and got up off the sofa, but she still felt tired
"Come and give me a little hand with tea "
Lily followed Rachel through and started helping her.
"After tea, it'll be a bath then bed, because I need you to get a good nights sleep because we've all got an early start tomorrow for school"
"I really don't want to go" lily mumbled
"Unfortunately that's not an option my love" Rachel sighed "don't worry you're going to be fine"
Lily didn't say anything else, but she remained quiet when she was helping Rachel with tea and all the time they were eating.
Rachel cleared up after tea and then ran Her a hot bubble bath.
Lily slid in, but still wasn't speaking much
"Lily what's troubling you so much about school love"
"I just don't want to go
"I bet you'll change your mind after tomorrow, try and trust me in this one"
"I bet I won't" lily mumbled
Rachel sighed but decided to ignore her, as there wasn't much point getting into a big discussion over it, when lily was so set against going.
"Gosh it's getting so late, where has the time gone tonight" Rachel said after glancing at her watch.
She finished getting lily bathed before getting her out and wrapping a towel around her.
She brought her through to her room and deride her hair off, before getting her into some pyjamas.
"Do you want to have a hot chocolate before bed?"
"Yes please"
"Okay you stay here and I'll bring you it up"
Rachel went down and made it and then brought it up to Lily, she found her sat in her bed still looking pretty worried
"Budge up"
Lily moved along so Rachel sat next to her as lily had her drink.
"Finished?'" She asked after a few minutes
Lily nodded so Rachel took it off her
"You go to the bathroom then I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in, are we going to try sleeping in your own room tonight like we agreed?" Rachel asked, she thought it was about time she got lily used to sleeping on her own, as she wanted to get her into a proper bedtime routine now she was starting school.
Lily nodded her head, but she was feeling really nervous about this too.
Rachel took Lily's cup downstairs and then went back up however she saw lily was still in the bathroom.
She gave her a couple of minutes but got a bit worried so went to check on her.
"Lily are you nearly done in there love?"
Lily didn't respond but came out, however when she did she looked a bit pale and worried
"Is everything alright lily"
"Yes"
Rachel took her hand and led her through to her room and began to tuck her in.
"Now you try and go to sleep, but if there's anything you need just come and get me okay"
"Rachel I don't want to sleep on my own" lily mumbled
"I know love but just give it a try" Rachel said, she then bent down and kissed her on the cheek before turning the light off.
Rachel went down and sat with Rosie for a few hours before heading off to go in the bath.
Rachel loved having her baths on a Sunday night, as it was the one time she felt she could properly relax.
After about half an hour she wrapped a towel round herself and got out, but when she opened the door she saw lily stood crying
"Hey what's happened lily"
"I can't sleep again" lily sobbed
"Well why didn't you come and get me then?"
"Because you said I had to sleep by myself"
"I didn't say you had to sit in bed getting all upset did I love?"
"No but I thought you'd be angry"
"Well then you thought wrong, why can't you sleep"
Lily didn't say anything just continued to cry
"Come on, come with me into my room, but lily we really do need to try and out a stop to this"
Rachel took lily through
"Are you okay sleeping with me on my bed?"
"Yeah" lily said
"Okay well you get in, I just need to nip to my bathroom to get changed, I won't be long"
Rachel grabbed her pyjamas from under her pillow and went to her bathroom
When she was out she saw lily sat on her bed looking a lot more relaxed.
Rachel got in next to her
"You still worrying about school?"
"A bit" lily admitted
"Is that art of the reason why you couldn't sleep?"
"Yes" lily said
"Oh love, you've got to stop all this worrying, I really do mean it when I say everything is going to be just fine"
"I know"
"Honestly you're going to really enjoy it when you're there"
"I hope I do"
"And you mustn't be scared when you're there about asking for things okay, if you're struggling at all, or need a drink, or you need to go to the loo even all you need to do is ask, so you're not to worry about anything okay"
"Okay thank you Rachel" lily said
"Do you reckon you're ready to go to sleep now"
"Yes" lily said "I'm going to try and sleep in my own bed"
"Really, well in be very proud of you if you managed it, that's a very grown up thing to say"
Lily jumped out of Rachel's bed
"Just come and get me though if you can't sleep"
Lily walked to her room and got into bed and surprisingly fell asleep straight away.
Rachel woke up early the next morning, she was taking the morning off to get the girls sorted but planned to go back this afternoon.
Once she was dressed she woke Rosie and then went and woke lily.
The morning seemed to pass quickly although both girls were still quite apprehensive.
Rachel rounded them up in the car,she had to get lily sorted first so drove to the local primary school.
"Rosie we shouldn't be longer than about 15 minutes but it's up to you whether you come in or not"
"I'll wait here"
Rachel got lily out and walked down with her, but she could tell lily was still really nervous
They walked into the office and Rachel waited at the desk
"Hello how can I help" the receptionist asked
"Hi I enrolled lily a few days ago, today's her first day, I have a 8:45 appointment with mrs Walsh"
"Yes I'll see if she's available now"
"Who's mrs Walsh"
"She's your headteacher I think"
A few minutes later mrs Walsh appeared Rachel shook her hand and smiled at her
"Hi you must be lily" she said smiling.
"Yes"
"Come with me let's go along to your classroom"
Lily started to warm to her a bit, so felt a bit more relaxed following her.
Rachel and lily followed her along to the reception classroom
"As you can see it's a small class so I'm sure you'll have no problem settling in"
Lily looked round at the big colourful classroom and decided she quite liked it.
Rachel stayed with her a few minutes but lily quickly seemed to relax.
Rachel was so relieved to see her settling in, when she left she felt so much more comfortable leaving her than she thought she would have
"Is she okay" Rosie asked when Rachel got back in
"Oh yeah she's fine, come in love let's have a look round your school now"
"I thought we were going to look round a few"
"Well to be honest love, if they've got a place here, it's by far the best one I can get you in to"
A few minutes later they arrived at the school.
Like lily had been Rosie was scared at first but quickly decided she really liked the look of it, so Rachel enrolled her there.
Although Rachel was almost as nervous as the girls about leaving them she was so glad they finally seemed to be getting everything organised
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