Chapter 12

Thanks so much for the ideas rachelmason fan and artistic creation I will be using both these ideas in this chapter !

It was a Friday night and Rosie was in her room, she was supposed to be doing homework after she'd ended up in a pretty nasty argument with Rachel so she'd sent her to her room for a bit,but she was actually just lied on her bed, she wished someone could understand what was going on at the moment.

She'd thought about telling Rachel what was going on, but then she didn't really see the point afterall it wasn't like she'd want her and lily around for much longer anyway, soon they'd be chucked out as soon as the baby came. Rosie had found a pregnancy test in the bun in Rachel's bathroom yesterday, and although she hadn't said anything to Rachel yet she'd been worrying about it ever since, but all Rachel had seemed to do over the last week or so was go on at her about anything she could.

Rosie was still on her bed when she heard the door open, she thought it was Rachel so she quickly sat up and reached for her geography book.

However when the door opened properly she could see it was lily.

"What do you want" Rosie sighed

"To see you, I want you to play a game with me"

"I'm busy, go away"

"Please come out" lily begged, she always did hate it when her sister was all moody and horrible with her

"I said go away" Rosie shouted "you're so annoying lily, I don't have time to play your stupid little games"

Lily's lip started to wobble when she heard her sister shouting at her and tears began to form in her eyes

"Do you always have to be such a stupid little cry baby, just get out"

Lily ran out of her sisters room.

When she was on her way downstairs Rachel passed her and saw her crying

"Lily what's wrong?" She asked concerned

"Rosie shouted at me and she said I was a stupid little cry baby" lily said

Rachel immediately picked her up and gave her a big cuddle

"Don't go letting your sister upset you, I don't know what's up with her but she's in a horrible mood and she certainly doesn't have the right to have a go at you" Rachel said

She was starting to get seriously fed up of the way Rosie was being around the house lately and knew something had to change and fast as she didn't know how much more of it she could take before she snapped

"I'll tell you what love, you go downstairs we need to practice some reading and do a bit of maths together so get your books out and I'll come and see you in a minute okay?"

Lily nodded and went downstairs so Rachel went and knocked on Rosie's door

When she didn't get a response Rachel knocked harder on her door

"Go away" Rosie screamed

Rachel ignored her and opened the door anyway

"For gods sake why can't you just leave me alone when I tell you, do you always have to be so bloody irritating" she snapped

"Hey don't you speak to me like that, are you pleased with yourself now you've got your little sister in tears"

"She's always in tears"

"Why are you being like this Rosie?" Rachel asked

Rosie shrugged and stared at her wall, Rachel tried sitting down next to her but as soon as she did Rosie got up off her bed

"Don't you dare, walk away while I'm talking to you young lady"

Rosie just wanted to get out she was getting really her up and wanted some time on her own

"I know exactly what went on today, starting fights with people Rosie, come on you must know that's out of order"

"How do you know I started that fight"

"Your head of year sent me a pretty long email"

"So you don't even ask me, you just presume everything she says is true and anyway she had everything coming to her,she was asking for it"

"I don't care, and it wasn't just the fight was it, I've been told you've been completely out of order with all your teachers all week so come on what's going on"

"What do you care? It's not like your my mum is it, you probably only want me and lily because you wanted someone to boss about, you always have to have control over people, well you don't over me and I hate you"

Rosie hadn't mean to say all that it had just sort of come out

She waited for Rachel to go completely mad but she didn't which made things worse really

"Well of that's what you think then ... then I don't really know what to say" Rachel said looking as though she was on the verge of tears "stay up here I'm going to go and help your sister"

Rosie just stood and watched as Rachel went down, she felt bad for saying it but she was still really annoyed at Rachel

When Rachel went down she saw lily say with her homework but her face was all scrunched up and she looked like she was getting annoyed at herself

Rachel knew she had to pull herself together as she couldn't have lily seeing her all upset

"Right you, come on let's go on the lounge and do some reading practice"

Lily sighed but got her reading book and went and sat with Rachel on the sofa

"Do we have to do reading?"

"Yep come on let's give it a go"

Rachel opened Lily's book onto the first page

"Read that first sentence out for me love"

Lily looked at it but it didn't make much sense to her

"T...th...the ...b...b" she stammered but she realised she couldn't do it and burst into tears

Rachel quickly put her on her knee and gave her a cuddle

"I'm sorry, don't be cross i just can't do if"

"Hey I'm not angry love, I know you were trying it's just hard isn't it all this reading and things, but we'll get there I promise, the most important thing is to keep on going and there's no such things as can't okay"

"Okay"

"Right well for now don't concentrate on what the words mean just think about what they sound like, now Here look we've got a t and a h so if we put them together what sound do we get?"

"A the sound" lily said

"Yeah see it's not so hard"

Rachel spent quite a while with lily going over stuff but lily was getting a lot more confident

Rosie crept downstairs wanting a drink, however while she was down she saw Rachel and lily say together, she couldn't help but think how happy they looked. Maybe Rachel would keep lily, she thought even when the baby was born. Lily was little and cute and never much trouble it was no wonder Rachel and joe seemed to like her so much more than her.

She couldn't help but think how right Rachel and lily looked together, just like mum and daughter really.

She knew it wasn't fair on either of them to get in the way and afterall they'd be happier without her there even lily.

Rosie crept back upstairs, she knew what she had to do, she wished she'd tried harder to make them like her and maybe even not done to badly at school because then maybe they'd want her too. She rummaged through her wardrobe and found a big bag that she'd used when they went in holiday to the cottage, she packed it full of everything she could think of. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going to go but she was sure she'd find somewhere.

Once she'd packed her bag she went Into Rachel's room and quickly found her bag, she knew she'd need some money.

Even though she didn't plan on seeing her again she still felt awful when she rummaged through Rachel's bag and found her purse. She took a £20 note out And then decided to grab another

She waited ages in her bedroom for an opportunity to go out when she knew Rachel wouldn't see her , but eventually she heard Rachel to to the loo so she took her chance and Went downstairs before going straight out the front door.

Rosie had been walking for a good half hour or so when suddenly she burst into tears and gradually became more hysterical as she began to feel very cold and frightened, she didn't know where she was and everything looked very unfamiliar but she kept walking.

After a while Rachel decided to speak to Rosie,me he really hoped she'd calmed down so they could try and make up as she really did hate falling out and arguing.

Joe was back to now and they'd decided to try and speak to her together, in the hope they'd get through to her.

They'd knocked a few times but when they didn't get an answer went in.

"Oh my god where's she gone" Rachel said

"She can't have got far, she'll be hiding somewhere I bet come on let's look round"

The pair of them searched all round the house but didn't have any look and by now Rachel felt sick with worry

She searched round her room and only then did she realise all her clothes were gone

"Joe" she shouted

As soon as he heard Rachel calling joe ran to her

"She's ran away, all her stuff has gone look" she cried

"Let's get in the car"

"What about lily"

"She'll have to come too, but we can drop her off at your mums"

"She can stay the night their, I don't want her getting all upset" Rachel said knowing how much she'd panic about her sister and it wasn't fair to drag her into all of this

Rachel quickly went into Lily's room where she saw her playing with her doll

"How do you feel about having a little sleepover tonight at my mums for a treat"

"Yay, I love staying at Jan's she gives me lots of biscuits and I can stay up late too"

"Okay, let's pack your stuff"

Rachel quickly got a bag and filled it with stuff for lily

As soon as they were done they got in the car.

Both Rachel and joe were even more worried when they realised it was freezing cold and raining

"I've been trying her phone with no luck" joe sighed

"Where's Rosie?" Lily asked when they set off

Rachel and joe exchanged glances neither of them wanting to explain

"She's gone out to her friends love" Rachel lied

As soon as they were at Jan's they made sure lily was out of ear shot before explaining everything, but this meant jan was pretty worried to

"Do you want me to help look"

"No mum, we'll find her thanks so much for looking after lily though"

"It's the least I can do, let me know as soon as you hear anything"

After quickly saying goodbye to lily they got back in the car

"Where do we look?" Rachel said

"Let's start with the park she often goes there if she's upset about something" joe suggested

They drive to the park and quickly got out

"Joe when do we call the police"

"Let's look round here then call them"

"It's all my fault you know" Rachel said "why do I a,was have to be so hard on her,mi didn't mean to I was just worried when I got the email and ..."

"Shh" joe said wrapping his strong arms around her "you've done nothing wrong Rachel nothing"

Rosie had finished up on a bench near a rough part of the area, she was shivering and felt really scared but didn't know where else to go.

Suddenly she saw a group of teenagers approach her instantly making her feel even more scared

"Oi you" one of the girls shouted "get off our spot"

"I've got no where else to go" Rosie mumbled

"A posh looking bitch like you must have somewhere to go" another girl shouted

"Leave her alone she's a pretty little thing, even if she is a bit young" one of the boys said

Hearing this Rosie quickly grabbed her stuff and ran off shaking

.

She couldn't stop crying and didn't know where to go, she thought about going home but didn't know how to get there. She didn't know what Rachel or joe was going to do to her but knew it would be better than staying in the cold all night

So Rosie reached in her bag and with shaking hands called Rachel.

Relief flooded through Rachel when she heard her phone ring and saw it was Rosie

"Rosie sweetheart where are you?" She asked as soon as she picked up

Rosie didn't reply but Rachel could hear her crying

"Look you're not in trouble, it's freezing out here and you must be soaked through so come on tell us where you are and we can get you home"

Rachel just heard more crying down the phone

"Me and joe aren't angry just tell us where you are and we can come and pick you up"

Eventually Rosie told them so they headed straight over

Rachel was shocked when she saw her stood shivering and in floods of tears, she rushed over and gave her a massive cuddle

"Oh thank god you're okay I was so worried, never so that to me again" Rachel said but she didn't sound angry just very worried

They got her in the car and Rachel went in the back with her

"I'm sorry" Rosie said "for shouting at you, I didn't mean it"

"We're going to have a talk at home okay,but for now let's just get you warmed up" she sold "here have a tissue dry your eyes a bit"

Rosie dabbed under her eyes and tried to stop her crying

When they got home Rachel went upstairs and ran Rosie a bath

Once it was done she went into Rosie's room where she was laid

"You going to come and have a bath" she asked gently

Rosie nodded and got up and followed Rachel through to the bathroom

"Come on let's get you out of these wet clothes"

Rosie took her stuff off and handed it to Rachel who out if in the wash

"I'll leave you to it, just come and see me when you're done and shout if you want me"

Rosie nodded and when Rachel had gone she finished getting undressed before stepping in the bath

It felt nice to finally relax in the warm water, it made her feel all comforted

She spent a while in there but then got out and wrapped a towel round herself before going into her bedroom and putting the pyjamas that Rachel had left her out

A couple of minutes later Rachel knocked

"Rosie it's me can I come in darling"

"Yeah" she replied

Rachel went over and sat next to her

"How are you feeling? Any better after the bath"

Rosie burst into tears suddenly so Rachel wrapped her arms round her

"Come on tell me what's brought all this on, I know there's something up"

"I don't want to leave" Rosie sobbed

"What?"

"I only ran away because I thought it would be easier, for you I mean because I know you wouldn't have wanted to tell me to go but then I know it's for the best and you've got lily and ..."

"Hang on wait, what do you mean, why would I want you to go"

"Well I just thought you've got lily and I know how well you get in with her and now there's the baby"

"The baby?" Rachel asked wondering how on earth Rosie could possibly know

"I found your test" Rosie admitted

Rachel sighed heavily, she hadn't want Rosie to find out like this

"Oh" she said eventually

"So I know you're not going to want me anymore and ..."

"Stop there okay, because I do want you and nothing would ever change that."

"So you're not having a baby"

Rachel realised she'd have to explain now though this really wasn't how she wanted to do it

"I was told I could never have a baby as you know , but last week I realised my period was quite a bit late and that's a sign of pregnancy so I took a test and yes it was positive" Rachel said

"Are you happy"

"I'm very very happy, as is joe but sweetheart none of this changes the fact you and lily are the best thing to ever happen in our lives and I want nothing more than for you to stay with me for forever and Ever"

Hearing this made Rosie's eyes fill with tears

"But why would you want me now you're going to have a baby, especially now I'm doing so bad at school"

"Oh love come here, if this what's been playing on your mind hmm is it?"

Rosie nodded before cuddling right into Rachel

"I want you for all sorts of reasons, you're a lovely girl Rosie" Rachel said "and of there's something going on at school we can fix it I promise"

"I'm just finding it hard, like some of the stuff we're doing"

"Then I'll ring up and see if they can arrange some support for you" Rachel said "everything's going to be fine I promise"

"But If you were fine with just me and lily why would you want to try for a baby"

Rachel sighed not wanting to get into all this as she didn't really know how to explain

"The thing is love we weren't exactly trying for a baby" she said "it just happened"

"Oh right" Rosie said "but you're going to keep the baby aren't you"

"Yes I am" Rachel said

Rachel paused for a moment before saying "Rosie do you think I don't love you"

Rosie looked away and shrugged

"Oh sweetheart please tell me you don't think that"

"No, I just feel like you love lily so much more" Rosie cried "I don't blame you though she's no trouble to you not like me, everyone loves lily more"

"Darling that isn't true, but if I've made you feel like that then I really am sorry. I haven't been fair on you lately, it's been ages since we've had some time just me and you"

"That's what I miss, doing things just the two of us"

"Okay well tomorrow me and you are going to spend the day together just the two of us, you're right it's been far too long since we've done anything like that"

Rachel then have Rosie a massive cuddle

"Rachel, I need to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"Please don't be mad, but I had to take some money out your bag earlier" Rosie said sounding scared

She went over to her bag and handed Rachel back the £40 she'd taken

"Well thankyou for being honest with me about it"

Rosie waited for her to start lecturing but she didn't

"That's it?"

"Under the circumstances yes it is, you had your reasons for taking it but if ever you did steal from me for no real reason then I hope you realise how much it would hurt me"

"I do I'll never steal anything from you again"

"Okay well We won't say anything more about it then"

The two of them then went down and had some tea with joe before putting a film on

After everything that had happened Rosie felt shattered and had fallen asleep by the time the film ended

"Oh joe she looks so cute asleep like that" Rachel said "I'm glad she's gone off okay, she was so upset earlier"

"Why don't you put her in our bed tonight, I'll sleep in the spare room I've for to be up for work early anyway tomorrow"

"Okay then"

Rachel gently stirred her awake and took her upstairs

"Fancy coming in with me for tonight, I've got some chocolates and we can watch some rubbish on tv for a bit if you want"

Rosie liked the sound of this so went into Rachel's room and after brushing her teeth got into her bed and after Rachel had gone a couple of things she came in too.

"Rach can we just turn the light off so we can talk for a bit before we go to sleep"

"Instead of tv?"

"If that's okay with you"

"Course it is love"

Rachel flicked all the lights off and cuddled in next to Rosie

"When will you have the baby"

"well I'm actually quite far a long, a lot further than I thought, I went to the doctors earlier today and they said I was 3 months"

"But surely you would have known before"

"Not necessarily"

"But you said that if you skip a period that's a sign so wouldn't you have known if you skipped loads"

"Well I'm always a bit irregular so it's hard to keep track of dates and stuff"

"Do you want a boy or a girl"

"Hmm I'm not bothered as long as it's healthy"

Secretly Rachel knew she'd love a girl but didn't want to say this

"Come on everyone says that but you must kind of want one more than the other"

"Okay I'd like it to be a girl but honestly I'm not that bothered"

"I hope it's a girl too" Rosie said

Rosie then turned over and got comfy

"I'm quite tired now, I think I'll go to sleep"

"Okay night darling, and no more worrying promise"

"Yep"

"Remember I love you so much" Rachel whispered

"Love you too" Rosie mumbled before quickly falling asleep

The next morning came round quickly and Rosie got out of bed while Rachel was still in the shower she was excited to go on her shopping trip with Rachel and went to choose something to wear.

Rachel went Into her room a few minutes later to check up on her but when she did she was just stood in her bra and knickers looking in the mirror

"Sorry I should have knocked"

"It's okay... Rachel do you think I look weird"

"Oh yeah you look awful" Rachel joked "no course I don't"

"No I mean my body"

"Look if you've got some daft idea in your head about wanting to be slimed or something you can forget it because you're a perfect size"

"No but do you think I'm really flat chested"

Rachel sighed "no I don't, and even if you were you're 11 years old Rosie, believe it or not it'd be more weird if you had a proper figure"

"But everyone else does, it's not fair" Rosie sighed "it's only because Samantha stiffs her bra with tissue though, anyone can see it's fake but all the boys give her loads of attention"

"And do you want that sort of attention from boys?"

"Well no but i just want to look the same as everyone else" Rosie said "can I get a padded bra In town"

Rachel thought for a moment she didn't really want Rosie getting one especially when she didn't need one but she did understand her wanting to fit in

"I guess so, if you want one"

"Thanks"

About 20 minutes later they set off to town

They were about half way there when Rachel noticed Roosevelt glancing at her stomach

"I'm starting to get a bit of a round stomach aren't i? I can't believe I didn't notice before"

"It's so weird thinking there's a baby inside you now" Rosie said

"It's amazing really, I am really happy you know Rosie a baby is just one of the things I'd have never thought I'd have, but you know what happened last time which is why I don't want anyone getting there hopes up"

"Could it happen again"

"Yes, I'm probably a risk anyway because of my age"

"You're only 38 that isn't that old"

"Quite old to be having your first baby at though love"

"I think you're going to be okay"

"Let's hope so, though don't say anything to lily yet I need to find the right time to tell her, we'll pi I her up after shopping it's only fair we take her to the park or something"

"Okay, as long as we're not their ages"

Eventually they got to town and both got out

"Where should we start"

"New look"

"Good idea, I need some new blouses for work And they do good ones usually"

They needed up shopping for about 2 hours, they could have carried on for a lot longer but knew they had to pick lily up, but still they'd really enjoyed spending time together

Thanks again for the ideas, really enjoyed using them xxxxxxxx