A/N I still do not own TMNT, but continue to be grateful for their creation.

Love or Blood

Chapter 12: By Firelight and Starlight

"You think Mikey will forgive us for missing his Mackerel Masterpiece?"

Raphael glanced up from the coals he was tending, "They were brook trout not mackerel, and I'm sure he'll survive."

April continued to weave her damp hair into a braid, "To-may-to. To-maw-to. You know how sensitive he can be."

"It has nothing to do with pronunciation, and don't worry I'm pretty sure he'll content himself with eating our share." He tossed his smouldering makeshift fire poker into the flames, "I think we're ready. Hand me the skewers."

"Whatever. A fish is a fish." The red-head wrapped the elastic around her hair finishing the braid and met the scowling reptile with three fish-filled sticks.

Raphael let his fingers linger for a moment against hers. Once again his heart beat a little faster from the smallest touch, "How can someone so cute be so wrong?" He felt his cheeks warm as he carefully placed the fish amongst the coals. He awkwardly cleared his throat, "Uh… I mean… Are you sure one is going to be enough for you?"

She leaned her side on his and gave him a mischievous look, "What, this cutie can't steal some of yours?"

His cheeks blazed and he desperately tried to regain his bravado, "No way! You had your chance to order more while I was still in the water."

"So if I asked you to catch me another you'd turn me down?"

She batted her best Bambi eyes him and Raphael rolled his own knowing he was defeated. Of course he would go. If she asked, he would get her a hundred more and then some, "Do you want me to?"

He was relieved when she snuggled up against his plastron, "Naw, I like you here better."

Raphael chuckled, "Come here," he wrapped his arms around her squeezing her closer, "you warm enough?"

The delicate skin connecting above his plastron tingled at the breath she released as she sighed in contentment, "Between you and the fire I'm perfect. You?"

The corners of his mouth quirked up at her concern, "I'm good. I'm more worried about you and your wet hair."

"It's a lot better now that my hair is tied back up."

Raphael returned his gaze to the tiny fire while his fingers joined April's in their blind, yet synchronized, ballet with each twirling on stages of either shell or skin. They had stayed in the water until the sun had fully set, but with the increasing darkness the lake began to cool, tempting them to seek dry refuge. Neither had been eager to return to the farmhouse where they would no longer have each other's sole attention. So, once Raphael had ensured April was thoroughly dry and fully clothed, he gathered the necessary flint and tinder and started a cheery little fire. Only then did he return to the lake to practice his hunting skills once more. By the time he had caught and gutted his catch, the coals were ready and April had staved off the worst of the chill by tightly braiding her moisture-darkened locks.

After several minutes of admiring the flames' own fiery dance April spoke, "Did you want to put your mask back on?"

He glanced down at her, "Do you want me to?"

Her eyes brightened occasionally reflecting the brave sparks that had sought a fate different from their fiery origins. Fragile lighthouses in a cobalt abyss, "No. I like being able to see you."

Raphael could not help but nuzzle her gently, "Yeah?"

She gave him a brief yet sweet peck, "Yeah."

He quirked an eye ridge at her, "That's supposed to convince me?"

"It is if you don't want the fish to burn."

His attention whipped to the fire where delicate black tendrils of smoke slithered away from their scaly origins. "Aw shit." He pulled the semi-charred skewers from the coals. Raphael's steady fingers whirled the fish around trying to see the extent of the damage. He determined the least blackened one and tossed it over to the girl crouching beside him, "I think this one is still ok."

She hesitated, "What about you? I don't want you to have to eat those charcoal briquettes."

He shrugged, "I've had worse."

April shook her head, "Here give me one." He swallowed his objection and relinquished his stick when he caught sight of that demanding look in her eye. The red-head placed the burnt and unburnt trout on one of the larger rocks composing the fire pit. An instant later, her tessen was out and in a few quick strokes, she sliced the two fish in half. With one piece from each fish in either hand she presented them to him, "Here. This way we both can enjoy the good and the bad."

Shaking his head he reached out and took her gift, "Thanks April."

Smiling before taking a bite she joked, "I know you have needs."

Around a mouthful of meat he laughed, "That I do."

They both focused on their meal for several minutes. Their stomachs had long since lost satisfaction with lunch and were eager to be filled again. April was still no match for Raphael. By the time she had consumed her burnt portion he had already devoured both skewers. He rubbed his hand over his mouth and froze at her stare, "What?"

She quickly returned to nibbling her fish, "Nothing."

"Don't give me that. What is it?"

"Uh…"

He frowned, "Just spit it out!"

"I was just thinking…" He nodded for her to continue and she sighed in defeat, "That we need to work on your manners."

The turtle gaped at her, "What's wrong with them?"

"You eat like an animal."

He snorted, "She says to the turtle."

She looked mortified, and at her lack of response he laughed, "April do you really think Master Splinter would have let us eat like this around him?"

"…"

He wrapped an arm around her, "Trust me, he was just as much after us at the dinner table as in the dojo. We just chose to ignore that aspect of his training," he continued at her frown, "Only when he wasn't around!"

She returned her gaze to her fish still looking embarrassed, "Sorry… I didn't mean to judge."

His eyes softened, "Hey," he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head to face him, "look, if it bugs you so much I can bring 'em back." Her eyes shifted to avoid his and he felt an edge of concern sneak into his voice, "April, what's wrong?"

She abandoned her half-eaten fish and hugged herself, "I'm sorry Raph."

The mutant turtle stared blankly at her trying to understand why eating etiquette had left her so undone, "Why? You've got nothing to apologize for."

Finally she met his gaze, which was not as comforting as he had hoped. Instead he was jolted by the tears in her eyes, "Yes I do! You should be pissed right now, not so… So sweet!"

He was torn between elation and confusion. April O'Neil had just called him sweet, but April O'Neil had also just called him sweet while crying, "And I should be pissed because…?"

"Isn't it obvious!?"

His brow creased as he responded flatly, "No."

She cried out, "I just called you an animal!"

He was still confused, "Pretty sure you said I eat "like an animal." There's a bit of a difference."

Again she stared at the ground, "No there isn't! Don't you see? I'm your confidante, friend, and …" their eyes met briefly before hers darted away again, "I'm supposed to be someone you can trust, who you can feel safe with, and here I'm dropping bigoted comments! I mean I did think of you guys as some kind of monsters at first…" she covered her mouth, her eyes wide with horror. Before crying fearfully, "Oh my God… Raphael I am so sorry. I –"

Raphael cut her off by grabbing both of her shoulders firmly, "April stop."

He did not continue immediately, for anger threatened to overwhelm him. April had struck at a pain so deeply ingrained into his subconscious that he fought every day to prevent himself from believing it to be true. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, sometimes reality would suggest differently. As it did now.

The mutant closed his eyes and focused on breathing, hoping to push away his fear. As he struggled to calm himself in the least destructive manner he knew, something penetrated the darkness. Beneath his hands, he could feel a shuddering warmth triggering a forgotten memory and slowly the umbra of his mind began to dissipate.

Raphael's family knew he had a thing for pigeons. His affection extended to all birds, but it was these common balls of grey feathers and pink feet that won his heart. The avian rulers of NYC could be found anywhere, and within a few weeks of finally being allowed to freely roam the surface at night, the turtle had easily developed a repertoire with them. Their alliance did have its tactical advantages, but Raphael did not bond with the pigeons to use them as soldiers. They were his companions and confidantes. His comfort and security. They accepted him and he accepted them. Every one of the countless hours he spent with them was an hour he loved.

He had many memories of those times, but one that he had buried close to his heart came from their first spring night topside. After an uneventful routine patrol, the red-clad reptile parted ways with his brothers. That first warm night since the departure of winter led him to one of his favourite pigeon haunts, and there he had found the nest.

Raphael had never seen a bird's nest before let alone newly-hatched chicks, and so when he first spied those three helpless hatchlings, he was left speechless. Their enormous eyes were closed, their pink skin was wrinkled, and their tiny beaks were proudly declaring their presence.

They were the ugliest things he had ever seen.

With a surprisingly large feeling of disappointment, Raphael was preparing to leave when something caught his eye. In the corner of the nest was a fourth cracked egg, but inside was no fourth baby. The turtle began to scour the area frantically when a soft scared peep met his ears. Underneath a nearby air conditioning unit was the last pigeon chick. Raphael did not hesitate. Automatically, he swept the delicate baby up, but before he returned it to the nest, that runty little jerk-of-a-bird bit him.

Despite the pain and the slow ooze of blood, the turtle admirably managed to not drop kick the chick. As he was cursing as many profanities as was necessary to his current plight, the sack of pink flesh once more demanded his attention. However, it was not pain that lifted the curtain of shadowy anger revealing the penumbra of curiosity.

Raphael found himself staring in amazement at that tiny, terrified, and trembling bundle of warmth. When he looked at the chick in his hands, he no longer felt revulsion or animosity. He gently placed the hatchling in the nest. As Raphael stared at the newly reunited family, he knew they were the most beautiful things he had ever seen. That is until his eyes opened now. The eclipse ended, and Raphael finally understood.

His green eyes did not hesitate to capture and hold the gaze, "April, you could have said I was eating like a pig or like an animal and it would have meant the same thing. I was not insulted because it was the truth. I was eating like an animal," he paused, "but I got news for you, mutant or not, I am a turtle, which means I am an animal."

She began, "Raph I-"

He cut her off again, "Let me finish. When you first saw us you thought we were giant green turtle freaks right?" She nodded heavily but he did not stop. He needed her to share his understanding, "Well I thought you were some damsel in distress who was getting a kick out of messing with my brother's emotions."

Her jaw dropped and Raphael had to steel himself to keep going. "I'm not hiding it. It's the truth. I also thought humans were a royally selfish screwed up lot who had condemned my family to our crummy existence because they couldn't bear the thought of freaks like us blemishing their stupid perfect lives."

He closed his eyes again and took another breath releasing the last of his anger before giving her a penetrating look, "April, do you think I still feel that way?"

Finally Raphael began to see a glimmer of comprehension. She murmured, "No."

The turtle nodded in confirmation, "I still think some humans are bastards, but I now know not all of you are. And you April," He moved his hands down her shoulders and as they slid down the curve of her biceps, she freed her own fingers for him to grasp, "I couldn't have been more wrong about you. So the only question left is," he could not prevent his voice from faltering as he uttered, "do you… Do you still think I'm a monster?"

She fell into his arms and buried her face into his plastron, "God no Raph! The day I met you, I met an angel."

Strong green fingers ran through red hair as the precious bundle in his arms let out her remaining guilt and insecurities through salty tears; the turtle himself felt his vision blur slightly. Their dark catharsis had torn their heart strings, but finally with the poison removed, the healing could at last begin.

Raphael had no doubt in his mind that April felt the same at that moment. The way the tension in her muscles eased with each crying spasm proved how long she too had let this gnawing guilt fester. He angered at the thought of her bearing such pain for so long on her own, but his brief rage was tempered knowing together they had earned their freedom through each other's forgiveness.

Eventually when his chest was no longer acting as her personal riverbed, Raphael glanced down to see a sniffling puffy-eyed April emerging from her refuge, "Feel better?"

She gave him a small watery smile, "Yeah… Um… Sorry about that."

He shrugged, "It's no big deal."

"No?"

The turtle swallowed, "Hey if anyone has issues with feelings and shit it's me. So uh… If you need to talk just talk."

The scales on his cheek ignited at her kiss, "Thanks Raph."

He grinned sheepishly and then nodded over to her forgotten fish, "You gonna eat that?"

April quirked her lips and reached over and grabbed the stick, "It's all yours."

He took it from her eagerly and chewed at the cold flesh – making a particular effort to be polite – while April crouched looking at the fire thoughtfully, "I should have brought marshmallows."

The turtle swallowed before responding, "Why?"

She looked at him in disbelief, "Have you never roasted marshmallows over a fire?"

He shook his head before returning to his fish, "No."

"So you've never had smores?"

He quirked an eye ridge, "What the hell's a smore?"

Evidently the red-head had recovered all but physically – her eyes would remain red for a while yet – from her earlier sorrows, "It's like the camping rite of passage!"

He tossed the cleaned bones and stick into the flames, "Because I did so much of that as a kid."

"You can make them at home too! All you need are graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows."

Raphael leaned back using his arms as a headrest. It wasn't the best position considering his shell, but the stretch did help to relieve some of the tension in his now full stomach, "Doesn't sound bad. So you roast the marshmallows and mix?"

April nestled up beside him, "Yep and the heat from the marshmallow melts the chocolate into gooey goodness."

"Next fire we'll make 'em then. Here," he lifted his head to pull out the arm beside her. April automatically lifted herself so that her ear rested on his bicep while her tummy pressed flat against his side as he cradled her. She contentedly sighed, "Mmm best pillow ever."

He snorted, "Guess I need to lift more."

Scales covering his massive muscle prickled feeling her smile, "Don't worry, I like it firm."

Raphael easily chuckled, "Do you now?"

Suddenly a blue-eyed freckled siren was on her arms leaning over him, "Oh yes I do."

Raphael felt a familiar warmth in his tail that he had felt more often in the last few days than he would have liked to admit. He wanted to reposition himself, but didn't want ruin things by making a wrong move, "Bit of a tease aren't you?"

April narrowed her eyes fiendishly, "No worse than you."

He smirked, "Says the girl who skinny-dipped earlier."

She countered, "You did too tough guy."

The reptile rolled his eyes, "Because I wear so much normally."

He loved how her eyes sparkled as she obviously flitted briefly down memory lane, "Still meant something."

Once again he folded his arms underneath his head to try and increase his swagger, "Did it now?"

Her eyes smouldered and left his heart racing, "You know it did."

It's true he did. He had seen how her eyes ran him over, not in disgust but in sheer craving. He had felt the warmth from her touch increase, becoming ever hotter with each brush upon his wet scales. He had heard her breath quicken and he had smelt her delicious essence shift.

He was beginning to consider a cold swim might be a good idea.

Raphael still had trouble accepting that miraculously this goddess had chosen him, but something equally incredible left him breathless. He had no idea a person could make him feel so good by a mere kiss, a gentle touch, and a soft gaze. Maybe it was because he had long ago accepted such a world would never be his, but he did know if April could leave him so unravelled with such simple gestures he would be completely at her mercy at consummation. His heart skipped a beat, and despite himself he began to shake his head to escape such thoughts. April and he had only just admitted their affections, and although they had known each other for years before reaching this point, he refused to scare her away by bringing up such a topic.

It wasn't just for April, it was for him. Raphael knew he was different. It was for his sake as much as for hers that he wanted to wait. Her voice broke into his thoughts, "What's with the head shake?"

The mutant reptile silently cursed himself for his action, and quickly jumped for a reasonable explanation. Naturally, he had none. Instead, he leapt up and directed himself to the lakeshore. Her voice met his carapace, "Where are you going?"

He eloquently growled, "Water."

Raphael had not even gotten to the sand when a cool hand grabbed his forearm. He released a breath and slowly turned to meet those questioning eyes. He wanted to break their stare and continue his aquatic mission, but somehow April's azure pools had him trapped. After a moment she calmly spoke, "Its ok Raph. There's no hurry. We'll get there when we get there."

They continued to lock eyes in a moment of silent understanding. Raphael released a relieved sigh before diverting his attention back to the remnants of their little fire. A few tiny flames remained, but the coals were beginning to cool. He gestured in its direction, "You good if I douse it?"

She nodded, "Yep."

"You warm enough?"

She smiled playfully, "No. It's five degrees out (41◦F) and I'm sure I've got frostbite."

"Excuse me for caring."

"What? My hypothermia doesn't earn your doting?"

He sniped, "Ok I got it," and then proceeded to dump sand onto the embers. All too soon they found themselves in darkness. Raphael's mutant eyes adjusted first. He grabbed April's hand and led her to a grassy knoll that had a clear view of the sky, "Come on."

Guiding her gently, he sat her down on the fluffy green turf. He then slid down behind her, his back to the slope, positioning her between his legs and her back to his plastron. April laid back against his hard chest plates. Raphael did not restrain the smile that came when she pulled at his arms to wrap them around her relatively tiny frame. Sharing each other's warmth while gazing up at the multitudes of bright pin pricks littering the indigo sky, they cuddled. He felt the red-head vibrate as she murmured, "It looks like they're winking at us."

Raphael smirked, "Pretty sure that's why they say stars twinkle April."

"Hmph. You just have no imagination."

Even though he knew she couldn't see it, he still rolled his eyes, "And you do?"

"More than you!"

He snorted, "If I recall who was the one who thought Ozymandias was about "some stupid statue of some stupid guy in some stupid desert?""

Raphael met her eyes when she twisted her head up to frown at him, "Don't use that against me! You caught me in a moment of weakness!"

He quirked an eye ridge, "What so you can't think under pressure? Not very ninja-like O'Neil."

"Well not all of us can be poetry ninjas!"

"Geez, imagine if I wrote more than five words on that page."

She rested her elbows thoughtfully on his chest cradling her jaw in her palms, "You gave me a lot more than five words and you know it."

He shrugged, "You did all the work."

April shook her head, "Yet you helped me more in five minutes than Donnie did in two hours."

A frown creased his lips, "What the full unedited history of the 17th century in 2000 words or less not your style?"

She gave him an appraising stare, "Don't be too hard on him. He's never had to hand in a paper before so how would he know? Speaking of which, how did you know?"

"I didn't."

April tilted her head in question, "What about giving me Walt Whitman's poem to read?"

"Think about it," he carefully rolled her back so she was facing the stars. Raphael whispered in her hair, "Why were you struggling?"

"Because I couldn't figure out what that stupid poem was about!?"

Raphael shook his head, "Come on April, you're better than that."

The girl was silent for a few minutes, and he returned his gaze to the horizon patiently waiting for her response. Finally she murmured, "I guess I just didn't know what to write about when I did figure out what the poem meant. I kept thinking, "I don't read any poetry so how am I ever going to find a poem that matches this one?" But then you found me one…"

"All I did was dog-ear a page."

"But you must have known there were things to talk about. There must have been a reason to pick that one. What about you writing, "Did it leave a mark?""

He shrugged, "Maybe I wanted to stick it to Don."

She slowly rolled over to face him again, "Wait… So all this time I thought you were a poetry genius, who had chosen the perfect poem for my essay to help me, when all you did was pick some random poem?" Her eyes widened, "Are you telling me I wrote an essay on a poem you knew nothing about? The poem that meant the difference between me passing or failing English was chosen just to take a jab at your brother?!"

"You done?"

She roared, "RAPHAEL I COULD HAVE FAILED!"

He grabbed her arms, "Whoa April chill. I never said any of that. I did know a lot about both poems. Hell, I've read a ton of both Shelley and Whitman's stuff. I just managed to hit two birds with one stone by marking When I Heard The Learn'd Astronomer for you."

"Then if you knew so much why didn't you just tell me when I was ready to put my foot through my computer?"

Raphael frowned, "Seriously? Would you have believed me if I told you I was a closet poetry junkie?"

"Well…" He gave her a knowing look and she sighed, "No."

He continued, "You see? Besides, do you really think I would tell my brothers something like that? You saw how Donatello just brushed me off. They think I'm all brawn and no brains."

"Only because you never give them the chance to think differently!"

He snapped, "Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to keep it to myself?"

She blinked in surprise, "Why?"

"We share everything April! The same home, the same friends, the same stuff, everything! Poetry is one of the few things that is mine."

"Come on Raph," she continued unconvinced, "I'm sure there are other things you like that your brothers don't."

Raphael ran his hands over his face in frustration, "Things yes, but poetry isn't a thing." He gestured at himself, "Poems make sense to me."

April gaped in disbelief, "You think poems make sense?"

"Yes! Poems don't speak in words April. They speak in images and feelings. My whole life I've been forced to speak my feelings through words, but it's not natural for me. Poets are different. They use words on the surface, but really they are speaking in feelings. Fuck, I'm still not explaining it right!"

She folded her arms thoughtfully, "Because you're trying to explain feelings. Right?"

He nodded sullenly, "You see, normally emotions get packed into these neat little boxes, right? One word to describe anger. One word to describe happiness. One word to describe sorrow. If you're in a descriptive mood pull out a thesaurus, but that still doesn't explain what it means to feel. You know when someone says "words cannot describe?" That is my life all the time. Simple words just don't cut it."

"Raph…"

"But poems do," he exhaled and recited:

"Only mouths are we. Who sings the distant heart
which safely exists in the center of all things?
His giant heartbeat is diverted in us
into little pulses. And his giant grief
is, like his giant jubilation, far too
great for us. And so we tear ourselves away
from him time after time, remaining only
mouths. But unexpectedly and secretly
the giant heartbeat enters our being,
so that we scream -,
and are transformed in being and in countenance."

She gasped, "Who?"

"Rainer Maria Rilke's Heartbeat."

She was silent for a moment and he let her chew it over in her mind. He wanted to show her feelings too did not have to be limited by time and space. Eventually she whispered, "Raphael… I had no idea."

He shook his head, "It's alright. I never gave you a chance either."

"So my essay?"

He gave her a sheepish smile, "Yeah, I knew exactly what I was doing."

She leaned into him and he gratefully embraced her, "Oh Raph…" she mumbled in his chest, "I get if you want to keep stuff from your brothers, but you don't have to hide from me."

He inhaled her scent. It still bore traces of vanilla and strawberries, but somehow her skin had managed to capture the essence of fire and water. "I'm slowly figuring that out April. Just give me time."

April raised herself, eyes now matching the night sky, "I can be patient, but if you'd like I know how to make time fly."

Raphael's tail stirred again at her coy smile, "Yeah?"

She leaned down and pressed her lips to his. Capturing their own starlight, their eyelids fell in unison, and later as Raphael carried his sleeping angel home on his shell, he whispered:

"Do you remember still the falling stars
that like swift horses through the heavens raced
and suddenly leaped across the hurdles
of our wishes-do you recall? And we
did make so many! For there were countless numbers
of stars: each time we looked above we were
astounded by the swiftness of their daring play,
while in our hearts we felt safe and secure
watching these brilliant bodies disintegrate,
knowing somehow we had survived their fall"

A smile crossed his face as he added, "And after so long, one steed still answered my call."

Bibliography

Rilke, R.M. "Falling Stars" Poetry Hunter. Translated by Albert Ernest Fleming. Available at poem/falling-stars/.

Rilke, R.M. "Heartbeat." Poetry Hunter. Translated by Albert Ernest Fleming. Available at poem/heartbeat/.

A/N I just want to say I love Rainer Rilke! I wish I could speak German just to read his original stuff, but alas I do not… Also, this chapter is a dialogue beast, which was not entirely fun because that is an area I struggle with. So please let me know if the flow was good and if Raphael and April sounded natural/in character. Thanks guys =)

To My Lovely Reviewers:

Holy Comments Batman! I have never gotten so many new reviewers so quickly (thus why I'm glad to have relocated this section). Also, thank-you so much to those of you who have kept commenting regularly. It really means a lot to know I have fans who are rooting for me! I am glad you are enjoying this and I hope you will continue to stick with me until the end (which is a while away yet).

Guest: Thank-you! =)

Mr.E: I don't even have the words… Just Wow… I do take a lot of pride in my writing (especially this fic – I put an insane amount of time into each chapter), but to be called one of the best authors on the site is just so mind-blowing! Especially when I think about how many incredible authors I have come across! You really made my day! I hope I will continue to live up to your expectations! Also, before I bought Seasons 1 and 2, I used to use AnimeFlavor so it might be worth checking to see if the episodes are still kicking around on there… P.S. I love the 2k3 rehash too!

Komnenid2: I'm glad someone appreciated my twisting of science to make social interactions easier to manage in Don's mind. I gotta say my minor in applied physics probably wasn't intended for such use haha. Honestly, I haven't even considered these two that far down the line yet… but if I do ever make a Raphril babies fic I will keep that it mind. =)

Terri: Haha don't worry that is a boat many of us sail lol. I actually have been working on something of a smutastic nature for a while now, but I probably won't publish it until after "Love or Blood" is completed. Originally it was going to be on 2k14 Raphril, but I've gotten so into my 2k12 incarnations that methinks it will be totally focused on an older version of them. So to keep things consistent and to keep myself from going insane it's still a few months away… Doesn't mean I won't try to put as much as I can without turning it to smut here though XD Thank-you again for reading and giving me such awesome reviews!

SetoAngel01: I love making them dorks! Especially because I feel that is totally how they'd be acting at this earlier point in the relation. Lots of heat… then OMG we're actually doing this… then more heat… then OMG we're still doing this… XD

Komnenid: Haha ok yeah…. He'll probably not be quite to scale with normal turtles anatomically because that's a lot of Raph to deal with at once XD Don't worry though methinks April won't be disappointed anyway ;)

ariesdragon2000: Yes! I hit some new untraversed territory while hopefully staying in character? The species thing is a problem in and of itself, but I'm pretty sure most teens/young adults go through some serious jitters before any major unveiling (I know I did).

majishan: Yay! I have to say it's one of my favourites too. It's short, but so much happens and so many feels are felt!