A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their creation!

Love or Blood

Chapter 16: The Ugly Duckling

After three days trapped in a small shack with almost constant company, all Raphael wanted was some alone time. Considering the circumstances, the turtle was pleased and a little surprised he had managed not to lash out during the ordeal.

First there was Michelangelo and Casey. Both were never meant to be confined in small spaces for more than a few hours at a time. Their confinement during the storm had made Raphael feel more than a little claustrophobic.

Then there was Leonardo. Before fleeing the city, the red-banded turtle would have been more than pleased to have a few extra hours without his nagging older brother, but now every time Leonardo disappeared into the woods, Raphael was left stewing in anxiety until his return. It did not help that each time he disappeared into the tempest, Michelangelo was left in a state of near-hysteria effectively leaving them all a little on edge.

Yet, although these members of the household were undoubtedly trying, they were not Raphael's primary source for his ever-growing agitation. That position was easily held by his immediate younger brother.

Even though Donatello had been subtle, Raphael had not overlooked the numerous darts thrown in his direction at every opportunity. Not only did they sting as they met their mark, but each dart was brimming with poisonous guilt, which insidiously infiltrated Raphael's blood stream with every hit. As the storm raged on, the more his system was filled with the toxin leaving his mind and heart to endlessly reel in the guilt's noxious vapours. By the time the clouds finally parted, the red-clad turtle's very core had been infected, leaving Raphael's vision constantly blurring with either anger, sorrow, or shame.

Even his angel April, before the one being that always gave him some asylum, could not suck the poison out with her affection. Instead, as the days inched by, her presence began to have the reverse effect. Without her once curing love, Raphael often felt his heart quaking painfully within his chest, and after each fissuring spasm, the turtle could not help wondering how long his heart would remain whole under such unrelenting pressure.

The morning the rain stopped, Raphael found himself blissfully free of the pain for a few moments when the red-head appeared in his doorway, but it was not to last. Even though Raphael threw on as strong of a swagger as he could to ease April's mind, by the time the party reached the lake he wanted nothing more than to crawl into his shell and wait for better times. However as the morning drew on, Michelangelo, Casey, and April united in their determination to make the most of the false sunshine; so despite the constant reminder of his sins, Raphael's mood began to improve. With the noonday sun in the sky he even began to enjoy himself.

Raphael and Casey were wrestling in the shallows when Michelangelo and April squealed for the group's attention, "GUYS!"

He paused while holding Casey in a headlock to see his youngest brother gesturing rapidly, "Look! Look!"

This time Donatello even looked up from where he was basking to join where all eyes had focused. Drifting gracefully along were the Mallards from a few nights ago – or what looked to Raphael like the same Mallards. Except, this time their elegance was now slightly hindered by a dozen puffs of yellow fluff closely following behind by madly kicking their webbed feet to maintain their less-than linear position. Little peeps breaking free from tiny orange bills only further added to their parents' deteriorating poise. However, as graceless as the young family was, they more than made up for it in awkward adorability.

Raphael, Casey, and Donatello silently swam closer to where April and Michelangelo were treading water near the reeds. Within the shelter of tall cattails and slender leaves, the group was able to discretely observe the ducks without disturbance. April cooed, "They are so cute!"

Casey smirked, "Well duh, they're babies. All babies are cute. Otherwise how would the parents survive?"

"Actually," Donatello began, "Many non-mammalians do not provide parental care after the eggs hatch. Some birds like the cow bird even go so far as to lay their eggs in other birds' nests to steal resources from-"

Casey snapped, "Nobody asked Donnie."

While the two former competitors in love glared at each other, Michelangelo exhaled in excitement, "Look how many there are! There's like a dozen ducklings in need of naming here! Let's see…" He began pointing at individuals, "That one in the lead can be Quick Quack, then that one with the mussed up feathers can be Curly Q, oh and that one who can't swim straight is Quizzy…"

Sighing as his youngest brother continued to spout ridiculous names, Raphael turned his attention to the last duckling frantically paddling to try and keep up. Despite its obvious efforts, the baby had not managed to move from its spot for the last several seconds. The turtle was frowning at the struggling puff of yellow fluff when he spied what appeared to be a large clump of duckweed hooked onto one tiny little foot.

Raphael was about to move into action to free the little guy, when a flash of yellow careened towards the trapped bird. It was the baby Michelangelo had dubbed Quick Quack and upon briefly examining the distraught duckling, dunked its head under the water to chew at the green slime. A few moments later, a very relieved peep came from Quick Quack's sibling and together they swam off to catch up with their family.

Apparently Raphael had not been the only one to witness the display. A quiet voice came from his right, "Nice to see caring siblings."

That chilling pain returned to his chest when he glanced at the voice's owner. Raphael kept his voice equally quiet, "Don…"

His brother continued as if Raphael had not spoken, "It reminds me of that old fable "The Ugly Duckling." Cute little ducklings are jerks to an ugly grey signet. Then they grow up, the signet turns into a swan, and the adult ducks are left envious of their once ugly sibling. Simple story, simple morale. Right? Treat everyone with kindness despite their looks because you never know what they'll turn into."

The older turtle nodded warily and Donatello continued, "It's assumed the story shows karmic justice at its finest, but I always wondered something. A newly hatched signet already has a good 30 grams on your typical duck," He gestured towards the ducklings, "like those Mallards there, but swans are much larger birds. So by the time they were five weeks old, the ugly duckling would have been more than double the size of his siblings."

Green eyes narrowed, "So?"

Brown eyes pierced him, "So, was it fair for the signet to be rewarded in the end? I mean one has to wonder if the ducklings were actually afraid of their monster of a sibling, and if so, it kind of negates the point of the story. Don't you think? Being rewarded for something he didn't deserve?"

Raphael clenched his fists so hard his fingernails dug into his palms. His voice shook from building anger as he growled, "Donatello, if you have a problem why don't you just spit it out?"

His brother's eyes widened innocently, "I was just talking about some kids' story Raph. Nothing more."

The others by this point had noticed the tension in the water around them, and were watching the two brothers cautiously. The red-clad turtle tried to calm his voice, "Now why do I doubt that?"

The addressed reptile shot his older brother a condescending look, "Look Raph, if the intricacies of a story like "The Ugly Duckling" is beyond your level you really should just say something. It would save us-"

Donatello didn't finish his thought. After days of being on edge and swallowing his rage Raphael snapped. He flung himself through the water landing a tirade of punches on his brother's face, shoulders, and shell. Anywhere he could land a hit he blindly attacked, pushing Donatello further under the water. Michelangelo and Casey threw themselves into the fray to each grab onto one of the larger turtle's arms. After Casey threw a few of his own punches into Raphael's way, they finally managed to pull the furious mutant off his brother. Upon surfacing Donatello spluttered, spitting out both water and blood, but Raphael did not miss the brief look of satisfaction that flashed across the injured turtle's face. Raphael froze in the water when April swam towards not him, but his brother. She cried, "RAPHAEL! What were you thinking holding him under like that? He could have drowned!"

That was the problem. Raphael didn't want to think anymore. Not when the face of his tormenter bore the aggression that should have been directed at himself. It did not matter that his blood still boiled thinking about the last words his brother had spoken to him.

He had done this Donatello. He had no right to injure his brother more, physically or otherwise. It did not matter that Donatello had spoken those words out of hurt. He gruffly pulled away from Michelangelo and Casey's restraining grips and moved towards his brother and April, "Donnie… I'm so sorry…"

It did not matter Donatello had provoked him. "Save it Raph," Donatello glared through one rapidly swelling eyelid, "Apologizing means nothing if afterwards nothing changes. So don't make promises you can't keep."

Raphael did not move closer. He diverted his gaze down. He could no longer stand to meet his brother's eyes, and he could not even look in April's direction. He did not want to see what he knew was there. To see it was to experience it in full, and he knew that right now that would be all that was needed for him to break. It did not matter that Donatello's physical wounds would heal far sooner than the psychological ones his words had dealt.

Without speaking, Raphael dove under the water. It did not matter that deep down Donatello had always thought Raphael to be inherently stupid.

As his hands moved through the cool liquid he felt his knuckles sting from where they had made impact on Donatello's flesh. Raphael was the strongest physically of the turtles, but when it came to verbal combat, Donatello was unmatched.

When the turtle emerged from the lake and moved onto the shore, he didn't even bother to shake off the excess water. Instead he welcomed the camouflage its liquid presence provided his slow salty tears. It did not matter because all his family ever took score on was that in the realm of the physical, which would always put Raphael at a disadvantage. The turtle disappeared into the woods, and with him the sun fell out of the sky.

A/N Thanks again for reading and reviewing guys! It really means a lot to me to read your feedback =D

Consequently to my lovely reviewers:

jody .edwards.790: YES JOIN US! *cough* anyways… Thanks so much for your comment/reading/fav/follow! There have been times where this fic has been challenging so it's always so good to hear that my approach for this pairing/situation is working well. =)

Komnenid: All I can say is wait and see. A lot's about to happen in the next few chapters…

Terri: Thanks so much! Your reviews always make my day =) I agree 2k12 Raph is rocking on the wit and flat-out swagger. For all the other TMNT characters I can more-or-less pinpoint (or at least top 3) my favs, but I just can't with Raph. Every Raphael reincarnation gets all my love 3

Mr.E: No need to apologize! It always flatters me that people find time out of their busy lives to read my stuff let alone review! Plus, I too know well the madness of midterms… Yep yep Canadian I am indeed. Also, it's good to know that someone wants me to continue the strength arc. That will help motivate me to get back into it. So after "Love or Blood" is done I will see what I can do.

majishan: Thanks for both your comments, but as I wrote to Komnenid you'll just have to wait and see…