Chapter 4

"Jake!"

She knew she was attracting stares as she ran after him, by now Jake had left the beach and was walking through town and back towards the bar.

"Wait up! Think about this!"

He didn't look back but kept on walking quickly, and Sarah ran to catch up with him, grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and tugged it, and he stopped sharply and turned around.

"Please," she said breathlessly, "Don't, Jake!"

"It's not me you love. You just said it, you said you love Louie!"

"Maybe a part of me will always love him!" she said defensively, and Jake just shook his head and turned away. She caught his sleeve again, and as he spun back to her real rage burned in his eyes.

"If you fell in love with him you should have told me, not seen him behind my back! And don't grab hold of me again, Sarah!"

She saw hurt in his eyes as he looked at her and the guilt in her heart weighed heavily.

"I will always love him of course, what we had wasn't meaningless, Jake!"

"I don't want to hear this."

"But it wasn't some sordid affair – we loved each other!"

"And that just makes it worse!"

As he felt the eyes of others on him as people passed them by, he lowered his voice and forced himself to pull back on his anger.

"You want him? Go to him – but I think Daisy might have something to say about it because she hasn't left him yet!"

"Louie never wanted you to know."

"I'm sure he didn't!" Jake exclaimed, "He wanted to keep your dirty little secret!"

"No Jake, he didn't want to betray you! He broke both our hearts to do right by you!"

Jake stared at her.

"He ended it, not you, not once did you try and end it? Well thanks a lot, Sarah – it sums up how you feel about me!"

She looked at him pleadingly.

"Don't be angry with him – he's injured, you said it yourself, he might never recover. And me and Louie are in the past, he broke it off with me long before Daisy came along! Please don't be angry with him, please leave him alone -"

"Why should I?" Jake replied angrily, and he turned and walked off, and for a moment Sarah stood there in the middle of the street in utter despair as she watched him heading off in the direction of the Gold Monkey, and then she began to follow on, silently praying he wouldn't lose his temper when he saw Louie again.

As Jake went into the bar, Bess was leaving.

"I'll be back later to check on him," she said, "He's resting, he's comfortable and for now that's the best we can hope for. He woke up a while ago but he didn't say anything, he just went back to sleep."

"Thanks for letting me know that," Jake replied and he sounded tense. As he walked through the bar, heading for the back of the building, Bess called out to him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine," Jake replied, and then he went up the stairs.

As she left through the front door, Sarah hurried in.

"Where's Jake?"

"He just went up to see Louie."

"Thanks," she said, and then she hurried off.

Bess looked back, watching as she hurried after Jake and wondered if the two of them had quarrelled, because neither seemed too happy that day, and then she guessed it was none of her business and picked up her doctor's bag and walked out of the Gold Monkey.

Jake went into Louie's room and glared at him.

As he sat down on a chair next to the bed he looked at him, watching him sleeping, and his hands balled into fists as rage coursed through his body.

"I thought you were my friend," he said in a low voice, "How could you do this to me, how could you do this to me and Sarah?"

And Louie continued to sleep, as Jake wondered how he would have reacted if he had found out about the affair at the time it had happened – sure, he would have walked into the bar and slammed his fist into Louie's face, he knew it, he would have been in a rage and hit him and told him in front of everyone, he would have told him exactly what he thought of him for such a betrayal.

"How could you do that to me?" Jake said angrily, and Louie stirred in his sleep, turned on his back and gave a sigh, and carried on sleeping as Jake sat there in silent anger.

And then as Louie lay there sleeping, Jake noticed the dressing on his temple was gone and he saw the healing scar, saw the bruises on his upper body and the bandage around his fractured wrist. That crash had really done its damage, he knew that at a glance, and he also knew there was no way he could take his anger out on Louie, not now...

What else was left?

What could he do about this situation?

Jake did the only thing he could think to do as he sat at Louie's bedside – he put his head in his hands and sobbed quietly.

And the door opened and Sarah came in with a frightened look in her eyes that quickly faded as Jake looked up from where he sat, and she saw his face streaked with tears.

"You're right," he said in a hushed voice, "I can't take it out on him, not now."

"And we need to talk," Sarah offered, but Jake just shook his head and looked back at Louie, who was still sleeping.

"No Sarah, there's nothing left to say," he told her quietly, and then he wiped his eyes, "Leave it for now – maybe some day when I don't hate you so much I might be able to talk to you, until then, leave me alone."

Then as Louie stirred from sleep he turned over and gave a sigh and slowly opened his eyes, and saw Jake sitting next to his bed.

Louie came to his senses much more sharply this time, and he looked intently at Jake as he wondered why he seemed to have been crying.

"Do not waste your tears on me, Jake," he said weakly, "I am not worth it. Perhaps I got what deserved and no less."

And then he kept his gaze fixed on Jake as he wondered if Sarah had told him everything – because Jake was not looking at him the way he used to, the warmth was gone from his eyes and all he could see in its place was pain and sadness.

"You have something to say to me, mon ami?" he asked quietly.

Jake shook his head.

"No Louie – I've got nothing to say at this moment."

And Jake got up, then he looked down at Louie and briefly touched the back of his hand.

"You need to rest, just rest and try and get better."

And then Jake walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

As the door closed, Louie lay back against his pillow and blinked away tears as he looked to Sarah.

"Did you say something?"

And she nodded.

"Oh Sarah, why?" he drew in a sharp breath and closed his eyes, but too late to stop a tear running down his face.

"I had to, he was asking why I was so worried about you and I was scared for you and it all came out! I'm so sorry!"

Louie opened his eyes again and looked up at her but his vision was blurry once more as weakness washed over him.

"It would have been better if I had not made it out of that plane."

"No!" Sarah told him, "No Louie, don't ever talk like that!"

Then pain registered on his face as he shifted awkwardly on to his back and tried and failed to raise his injured arm.

"My wrist hurts again...get Bess."

"Bess just left," she told him, and she reached for a bottle of pills, opened it and took two out.

"She said if you start taking the pills for the pain, you won't need the injections any more."

Louie gave a sigh.

"Anything but another needle!" he exclaimed, and with Sarah's help he sat up and took the pills and swallowed them down with a glass of water.

As Sarah leaned over him to make him comfortable, she looked into his eyes.

"You're getting better, Louie," she told him, "You're more alert now, and you're talking, that's good."

"And I am very tired, Sarah" he added, and then he closed his eyes again.

Sarah watched as he slipped off into a deep sleep, and then as she felt a rush of love for him she leaned over him and placed a gentle kiss on his temple, just above his healing scar.

"You're going to be okay, Louie," she said softly, "I'll make sure of that, I'm going to look after you."

And he smiled as he slept on, hearing her words even though exhaustion was dragging him back into slumber.

As Jake left the room, Daisy was walking along the upper hall – and she had a suitcase with her. She stopped when she saw Jake, set the case down and looked at him sadly.

"I can't do this."

"Why not?" he demanded, feeling as if his last hope of holding on to Sarah and any chance the shattered pieces might one day be mended would be gone, if this woman left Louie's life.

"I want you to fly me to the mainland," she told him, "I'm not coming back."

Jake stood his ground as he looked at her.

"No," he replied, "I won't take you anywhere until you do two things – first, you can tell me why you're running away."

She gave a weary sigh and sadness reflected deeper than ever as she started to speak, and finally, Jake began to understand.

"A few years before I met Louie I was engaged to be married. My fiancee was injured I road accident. Like Louie, he hung on to life for a while but then of course, he died. I never want to go through the pain of that experience again. I told Louie about this, he understood completely."

"He understood at the time, I'm sure he feels differently now!"

She shook her head.

"No, he will understand. And it's better if I leave now."

"Louie's more alert now. He's been waking more frequently and he's talking and he's making a lot of sense, he's coming out of this fog that he's been trapped in - Bess said he's improving – he could still make a full recovery!"

"But you don't know that for sure -"

"I'll fly you to the mainland," Jake said to her, "On the condition you do one more thing for me."

She looked at him in dismay.

"I have already told you why I need to leave, isn't that enough?"

"No," Jake replied, "It's not enough. If you're walking out of Louie's life you need to say goodbye to him."

As he said those words, he wondered why he was looking out for Louie like this when he was so angry with the guy, and then as she looked at him sadly, she shook her head again.

"I can't do that."

"Can't, or won't? He has a right to know!"

"And how much do you think he will understand and remember, Jake? He was in a plane crash, he had a head injury! He's probably forgotten who I am by now!"

"I'm not leaving, I'm not taking you on that plane and off this island until you say goodbye."

She looked into his eyes and saw determination reflected there that burnt like blue flame, and she gave a heavy sigh.

"Okay, I'll see him," she said quietly.

And then she followed Jake towards Louie's room as Jake silently wondered yet again exactly why he was so keen to do any favours for the man who had slept with Sarah behind his back...

As Jake opened the door and walked into the room with the polished floor and the rug in the middle and the antique furniture, where drapes were pulled back and balcony doors open to let in a warm sea breeze, he saw Sarah was still next to Louie's bed and she was holding his hand as he slept.

She did love him, he knew it – maybe she had always loved Louie from the first day they had met, but just hadn't realised it...

Knowing this didn't make losing her any easier to bear, but he did know he was already starting to think that maybe holding on to her when she loved another man was the wrong thing to do:

Of course he wanted to hold on to her, he wanted to stay mad at her and then try to forgive her and hope that life could go back the way it used to be – but of it did, he knew her heart would always be with Bon Chance Louie.

And he loved Sarah enough to step back from that.

He knew she hadn't loved him enough, but someone else would, Jake was just yet to meet her – but although he could think about that all day long, it still didn't ease his pain or his anger at their betrayal of his trust. That was going to take time, and it would not be easy...

As Jake and Daisy came into the room, Sarah let go of Louie's hand and got up.

"You shouldn't be in here, he's resting, he needs to sleep. He's improving, Daisy, but he must rest."

Jake stood by the window and looked away, avoiding eye contact with Sarah.

"Daisy's decided to leave. She just came by to speak to Louie first."

Sarah stared at her.

"You're leaving? He needs you!"

"No, he doesn't," she replied, "And he understands why I wouldn't stay around in these circumstances. I just told Jake all about it – I lost a fiancée before. I know what that pain feels like. I'm not waiting around for Louie to die."

"But he's getting better!" Sarah exclaimed, "Let me show you, Daisy."

And she leaned over Louie and tenderly stroked his cheek as she said his name. Louie opened his eyes and looked up at her and then he smiled, and to Jake that look was one of love and it felt a knife being twisted as he thought of their affair, but said nothing as he stood back and watched.

"Daisy's here," Sarah told him, and Louie blinked to clear blurred vision and focussed on Daisy as she stood over him.

"Louie," Daisy said as she stood close to his bed, "I'm sorry, but I've decided to leave."

Louie's dark eyes filled with tears and he closed them as he tried to hold back from weeping.

"Then you should leave," he said quietly, "Leave me, Daisy – I do not believe I will ever get out of this bed again, I know you have no wish to watch a second love die before your eyes. Just go."

"I'm sorry," she said again, and her voice became tearful.

Louie opened his eyes and looked up at her as tears ran down his face.

"Remember the good times," he told her, "And I shall do the same."

She leaned over him and kissed his cheek and he turned his face away and closed his eyes once more, laying there resting against pillows as his broken body slowly healed as best as it could, and if he wanted to weep over her loss, for now, he was holding it back - the only sign that he was saddened to see her go were the tears that had streaked his face on first hearing the news. Now, he appeared to be sleeping once more.

"I didn't mean to upset him," Daisy said, and then she left the room and picked up her bags and began to make her way down the stairs.

Jake looked to Sarah.

"I'll take Daisy back to the mainland and then I'll come back" he told her, "And I'll bring your stuff over, so you can move in."

Sarah looked utterly bewildered.

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to tell Bess that from now on, you're looking after Louie full time. Sarah, I know you love the guy. And I'm not happy about it and I can't pretend I wish you both well - but I can't get in your way either. I hope you're happy together!"

He had spoken so bitterly, and as he turned to leave, Sarah said his name, but Jake did not look back, instead he left the room and went down the stairs to join Daisy, who was impatient to take that flight back to the mainland.

After they had left the bar and made their way back to where the plane was docked, Corky took Daisy's luggage and loaded it on to the plane as Jack scampered down to meet them and then leapt in through the open door.

Daisy hesitated, looking back towards the island.

"Second thoughts?" Jake asked.

"No," she replied, "This is entirely my fault – I chose to leave because I know I can't go through that kind of heartache again. I know it seems selfish but everyone has a limit don't they? This is mine."

And her voice sounded as if she was heading towards weeping once again, and as he spoke up, Jake wondered if perhaps losing Sarah was making him a little crazy, because he knew what he said next would see her gone for good:

"You said he told you everything. I bet he didn't tell you about him and Sarah."

Her eyes widened.

"Sarah? Sarah who?"

"My Sarah."

Her jaw dropped for a moment.

"Louie and Sarah? Are you sure? When did this happen?"

"Before he met you. I only found out about it because Sarah was so worked up over the plane crash Otherwise I never would have known."

Daisy looked utterly shocked.

"But he said he told me everything!"

"Obviously he didn't," Jake replied, and as she boarded the plane, he was still questioning his own sanity as he wondered why he had been so keen to share that information, because now she knew, Daisy would definitely not be changing her mind about leaving Boragora forever...

As the afternoon sun dipped lower in the sky, Louie sat back against pillows and rested in bed and as Sarah returned to the room, he looked at her with a troubled expression.

"I will miss Daisy."

Sarah sat down beside him.

"You loved her very much?"

Louie looked into her eyes, and in that moment, he only wanted to hand her the truth.

"Yes, I loved her, of course. But there are many different kinds of love. I did not love her as I loved you."

She swore in that moment her heart briefly stopped in her chest as she looked into his dark eyes.

"Oh, Louie don't say that! I've already done enough damage, I should never have told Jake -"

"You told him?"

Louie's eyes widened in alarm, and Sarah realised he had already forgotten all she had explained before he went off to sleep.

"Oh Sarah, what have you done?" he said in panic, and he suddenly sounded so much more alert now. And then he tried to sit up and she caught him as he slid back down weakly against the softness of the pillows that supported his back.

"Louie, it's okay. And you already know about this - I told you this just before you went back to sleep, but you forgot! Jake knows and we broke up -"

"I forgot...How could I forget? You broke up with him? Over me?"

"Over the truth. He knew something was wrong when you said after the crash you wanted him to know you were sorry, do you remember saying that?"

He gave a sigh and shook his head.

"I was foolish to do that! But I thought it was the end and I wanted him to know I was sorry... I hadn't expected this outcome!"

"Well he knows and it's too late to change it," Sarah replied, "He said he's bringing my stuff over so I can move in here and take care of you, and he wants nothing more to do with me. I don't know if he can ever forgive you, but I'm pretty certain he detests the sight of me now."

Louie drew in a sharp breath as he fought back tears.

"This is what I wanted to avoid, I wanted to cause no pain to anyone, especially not Jake!"

Sarah gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"In time, he will get used to the idea. And you're getting better, Louie! It won't be long before you're back downstairs in the bar, and life is back to how it used to be."

Tears glazed his eyes as he looked at her.

"Jake seemed angry with me when he came to visit. I wondered then if he suspected – but how could you have told him, Sarah?"

"I couldn't help myself, I was distraught, I needed to explain -"

"And you wrecked his happiness in the process!" he said sharply.

Hurt reflected in her eyes as she looked at him.

"What about my happiness? And what about yours?"

"And what about how I have been disloyal to a good friend?"

"We fell in love!"

Louie shook his head.

"No, Sarah – the past is gone. Yes, I would like you to stay purely because I need help to get well – but that is as far as it goes."

As she looked into his eyes, she felt her heart breaking all over again.

"But the truth has come out now! What harm would it do -"

"It would do a great deal of harm!" Louie said to her, "No Sarah, we can never be more than friends – anything more would be unfair on Jake. There can be no us! "

After Jake took Daisy back to the mainland, he returned to the island, where he walked alone along the beach as the late afternoon breeze blew warm sweet tropical air across the water and rustled the leaves of palm trees. Further up the beach, Jack raced along, his paws skipping from sand to lapping tide as he barked at gentle breakers and then carried on running.

Jake watched him go and wished he could be as carefree as his dog with none of life's worries to drag him down.

Then he sat down on the sand as Jack turned around, raced back and once again played at the waters edge, and he watched him play, but his thoughts were on Sarah and Louie:

He had often noticed how her eyes had lit up when they were in the bar together, how she always laughed at his jokes, how she was always pleased to see him. And when she sang at the bar her eyes would often meet with his, and he could picture it now, Louie leaning on the bar, looking at Sarah as he listened to her sing, with a look in his eyes that he now knew to be love.

But that look had always been there.

They had always loved each other, they had just taken time to realise it...

Jake still felt caught in the middle, even though he had turned his back on Sarah. While it was true he had loved her, they had not been together for years, it was not as if he was married to the woman... it had been the betrayal that had hurt the most, to find out that so much had happened behind his back. That still stung sharply, and he knew it would hurt for a long time to come. But as he sat there on the beach and thought about it all, he made a decision, the only decision that seemed to make any sense:
It was clear Louie and Sarah were in love, even if neither of them wanted to admit it now, he knew the feelings were still there.

He also knew that the best thing he could ever do in the name of true love was to let her go and be with Louie, and do so with his blessing, because he cared about her happiness in spite of everything.

But there was just one problem standing in the way of his choice:

Jake wasn't sure if he was strong enough to let go of the anger and encourage Sarah to be with Louie, because it was easy to hate the pair of them for what they had done, and it would be much, much harder to forgive them instead...