I hate school T^T Haha, I was sick all week though, so it's all good. I'm better now! Which means I had to go to school today -_- It's already snowed where I live, and it's so freakin' cold . Plus, I just so happened to get sick on one of my favorite holidays and I couldn't go trick or treating DX Thank-you, all of you, who have reviewed my story. And to reply to Liebe Leben: I never really realized I switched from present tense to past tense xD My mistake, and I'm trying to work on that. So sorry if I do it again in this chapter. Tell me if you see it again, please. Overall, I'm trying to work on my writing skills to become a better writer. My new English teacher is great this year, and she's teaching us EVERYTHING! Unlike my old English teacher . So I may be experimenting with things this chapter. Any spelling errors while Katrina or Melina are talking is intended, it's just the way they talk.
I'm sorry it takes me a long time to update, but I keep getting so much homework from school this year DX It's frustrating, especially when I have a test in French at least every week (which I almost failed one today). And I also just get random writers block, and it's so hard to shake off!
Sorry about my ranting, I'll just shut up now and get on with the chapter. Hope you enjoy it!! There's some KatrinaxEdward fluff in this chapter :P
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. If I did though, I would be one happy girl xD
~*~
The lights above my head were dim, but still reflects off of the soapy water I was currently wrist-deep in. The rag in my hands washes away any food or mess that remains on any of the dishes that I clean, before rinsing them and setting them in the dish drain to dry. But even after all of the dishes I have already done, there was still a large stack that needs to be completed. It was because of the two new companions I have living with me now, one having a larger appetite than myself and his younger brother combined. It makes me wonder; does he ever think about anything else that has nothing to do with food or research? Because that seems like the only thing he concentrates on. That, or trying to pry into my life, and into my past.
Said companions are sitting in the living room at this present moment and talking to each other in hushed tones, trying not to be heard by myself. Though I could probably guess as to what exactly they are talking about. Edward is trying to explain to his younger brother what had occured at the grocery store, about the person we had ran into. And probably how he doesn't have the slightest idea as to who this boy is, and why he had such an impact on me. Oh, and definitely how I told Ed absolutely nothing about him on the walk home. It's just another thing that Ed does not need to know, neither of them do. It's something I just want to forget, desperately. I've been trying to, but it always seems to find a way back into my brain.
After the short - very short - chat between myself and him, I immediately took the supplies we needed to the check-out counter. I paid, and then left before Ed could even say a word to him or me about the situation. Consequently, the walk back home gave him enough time to bombard me with question after question, which I left unanswered. It irritated him to no end, and I knew that, I just didn't care. I wanted him to stop bugging me about something I may never tell them about.
The shrill ring of the phone ringing is enough to make all three of us jump. None the less, I sigh and quickly dry my hands off. Ed and Al watch my every movement as I walk over to it, and pick it up, examining almost everything about me right now. I just try to ignore their stares, and turn my back to them while holding the phone firmly in my hands.
"Hello?"
"Kat, what's up?" Came the excited response from a certain short blonde female.
"Melina," I say in an exasperated tone, though a grin was still on my face, "You do realize your family takes an extremely long time to go shopping, right?"
She groans, "I know.. I practically stood there the whole time bored out of my mind. Though I did get yours, Nicoule's and Samantha's Christmas presents. Oh! Speaking about Christmas; did you consider what I wrote in the letter?"
"Yeah, I did. I decided that I am going to attempt to get a Christmas tree, or at least try to find the old fake one in the storage room. I also decided that, yeah, I'm going to get the brothers Christmas presents. Memories, right?" I lean against the counter, twirling the phone cord between my fingers.
"Right." She agree's, a smile evident in her tone. I smile too. I like talking Melina, it helps get all those pesterous thoughts and worries out of my head and make me just try to enjoy life the way it is. It's one of the things I like most about her. That is, if she doesn't bring up any of those subjects. And I'm hoping she doesn't right now. That's the problem with a small town, everyone hears about everything.
"What do you think you're gonna get them?" She continues.
"Hmm.. I dunno. I mean, I know them, but I don't know them. Any idea's?"
"I thought about a cat stuffie or somethin' for Al." I laugh a little at that. "I don't really know about Ed.. The guy is just a little too complicated for me to figure out."
"I agree with that."
"Oh, I heard about something from my mom."
My breath hitches in my throat, and I mentally repeat over and over 'Please no, please no, please no...'. Clenching my eyes shut, I await what I'm hoping isn't coming.
"Guess who's back in town." As she's stating this, her voice is cold and dull. Like she doesn't care but at the same time she does.
I stay silent, and completely still. As if hoping that if I act like I'm not there the conversation would just stop going in this certain direction. As if that pretending I'm not here, she'll just stop talking and hang up. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. It never worked out that way.
"Have you seen him at all?"
Letting out an annoyed grunt, I pull the phone away from my ear and swiftly turn on my heal towards the living room, where the brothers sat. I put on a (not so) enthusiastic grin, waving the phone around.
"Who wants to talk to Melina! She's just DYING to talk to one of you!"
"Wah!? Katrina!" Melina's shocked exclaim sounds through the phone.
"Oh? Alphonse, she wants to talk to ya!"
The brothers exchange a questioning glance before the younger of the two slowly stands and makes his way over to me. When he does reach me, he hesitantly grabs the phone from my hand and places it to his ear, muttering a tentative hello.
My grin falters immediately, being replaced by a deep frown. Turning back to the sink, I unplug it and ignore the stack that still needs to be cleaned. I'll finish them another day, I'm not in the mood for this any more. But as I watch the water slowly swirling around the drain and draining down the pipes to where ever it goes, a list of other chores that need to be done pop up into my head. Luckily, this thought pushes whatever other not-so-happy thoughts away.
Without even thinking, my feet stroll down to the larger bathroom of the two and to a cupboard. My hands reach out and pull open the wooden doors, revealing stacks of sheets and pillow cases, just the things I need. As I pull out three pairs, I couldn't even feel the soft material they were made out of. I couldn't feel the cold tile floor beneath my feet. I couldn't feel the stinging in my eyes as my mind wandered without my approval. I couldn't even sense the pair of golden eyes watching me from the doorway.
"Katrina," Ed's voice startles me, temporarily breaking me out of my heart wrenching thoughts. But it's enough to let him know I heard him, and continues, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to change the sheets on all of our beds." Was my simple reply as I turn and walk past him. He follows me.
"Why?"
"Because they haven't been changed in a while. They're dirty. What else?"
"You..." He trails off, and I stop, just barely past the kitchen. Alphonse stood there and stares at us curiously. He must have finished his conversation with Melina because the phone was hung up. Ed sighs, "You never clean. You're quiter then usual. You..just seem different."
I stand still for a moment, going over what he had just said in my head. It does make sense. And it reflects the way I act when I'm upset.
I shake my head harshly when the sting in my eyes return, clenching them shut. "Wow, Edward Elric actually seeming semi-concerned for me? This is an act that must go down in history." I force myself to retort sarcastically, taking quicker steps to reach 'my' bedroom. He still follows me, Al not too far behind. I grit my teeth, Just leave me alone...
"Brother, wait." Al gently calls out to Ed, making Edward stop in his walk. He turns to his younger brother as I finally reach the bedroom and shut the door. That had seemed like the longest walk I ever had to make. And the most awkward. But I'm thankful that Edwards gone; at least for now. I know he'll be back.
The movements I make as I pull off the old sheets and replace them with the clean ones all seem auto-matic. My muscles and limbs all move as if by themselves; smooth out the baby blue sheets, fluff the pillows, lay everything in place, throw old sheets in the hamper, then move on to next bed. On my trek to the brothers' 'room', I pass the living room where they immediately stop talking to stare as I walk by. But when I close their 'bedroom' door, I can tell that they started talking again almost instantly. It must be about something Melina had told Al, which no doubt Ed will confront me about. Oh, how I can't wait...
By the time I finish Al's bed and move onto Ed's, the door opens and said blonde leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was stern and his golden eyes glint with determination. He wants to know. And he wants to know now. Oh, how I dreaded the moment that this would come.
"I know who he is now, Katrina. There's no need to hide it anymore." He says calmly, his voice never wavering. I just continue on the task at hand, trying to ignore his presence as best as I possibly can. But it turns into an epic fail..
"His name's Chris, right?" He presses me, wanting me to just break and tell him everything I know. All he's doing is just pissing me off. "I know you're upset too. So you do chores when you're upset to distract yourself, huh?"
"What do you want, Edward!?" I exclaim at him, gripping the sheet in my hands tightly. "If you know who he is, then why are you torturing me about it!?"
"I want you to be truthful with me. I want to hear it from you. Not from Al, who heard it from Mel."
"You don't need to know everything about me!"
"You know everything about us. Why shouldn't I know everything about you?"
That's...a good point...
"He's just a guy..." I mutter pathetically with my voice cracking in between, my vision a bit blurred by the welled up tears that I've probably held in for years now.
"He doesn't seem like 'just a guy'."
"We were together, some stuff happened, he moved away. There."
"What kind of stuff?"
"He..." I hiccup and drop the sheets to cover my mouth. I hate crying. It makes me feel so weak and pathetic. Especially in front of the almighty FullMetal Alchemist.
But the memories and images whirling around in my brain are making it hard to hold the warm tears back. What I thought I was over has obviously just been proven wrong. I'm not over it. I don't think I ever will be. My heart still quelches in pain everytime I think about it. My entire body is shaking now, with my eyes tightly shut as pathetic noises escape my throat. It feels like I'm going to throw up any second. It feels like everyone else around me aren't even there. It feels like my whole world has just completely crumbled as the hard truth slaps me in the face.
This is why I do chores. This is why I try to block out the past. So I don't completely break down. So I don't relive any torment I have already gone through, as pathetic as the reason may be. It makes feel worthless, and weak. Here Edward and Alphonse have gone through hell, and I'm crying over a fucking boy. Emotions and irony have a cruel, cruel sense of humor. And seem to love choosing me to prank. Oh yeah, 'cause seeing a sixteen year old girl crying in front of a State Alchemist that went through so many horrible things is fucking hilarious.
I can tell Edward is totally lost right now. His face is a mixture of guilt, confusion and concern. But he remains standing in the doorway, completely frozen in his spot. All I want right now is to feel his arms around me, holding me, comforting me. I want to hear his voice saying soothing, sweet things into my ear. I want- No! It will never be like that. It never will!
Voices in my own head that were on my side, turn against me. Attacking me with words in my own already abused mind. It finally sent me over the edge and a sob breaks out from my throat, starting the river of tears that slide down my pale cheeks. 'You're nothing. You're pathetic. How could anyone even look at you?' I am against my own self. I am attacking the one person I should treasure more than anyone else; myself. I'm bullying myself when I've been against it my whole life. But who better to know than someone who's been attacked verbally and physically before. I know exactly the right things to say to make myself feel like scum. And it's tearing me apart, right from my core to the ouside.
Stop it! Shut up!
I need a distraction. I need a distraction!
Snatching up the sheets, I frantically try to make the bed before me. It's a desperate attempt at a distraction, but it's good enough right now. I bite my lip to restrain the sobs that want to escape, and furiously wipe my eyes every few minutes to erase the tears that keep flowing. They just keep falling, dammit! 'Look at how weak you are. Why would anyone like you?'
GO AWAY!!!
Hands grab my arms, trying to stop me from my desperate distraction. I struggle against them in my blind subconscious, but their grip is strong and there's no chance of me getting away.
"Let go!" I cry, trying to jerk my arms away.
"Katrina, stop." He didn't yell. He didn't scream it. He just states it firmly, and it's enough for my struggling to cease. For me to wake up.
I let out a shuddering breath, "I must appear to be so worthless to you. Crying about something so dumb."
"You're not worthless, Katrina." Ed says, his voice softer.
'He's lying.'
Shut up.
"Please...Leave me alone, Ed." I hang my head in defeat, ready to give in to myself. To give in to all of my own abuse.
"Kat..." He starts.
"Please!"
Everything remains the same for a few moments, before he withdraws his hands hesitantly. Relief and disappointment races through my veins, and I'm almost urged to tell him I didn't mean it. The voices stop me from doing so, though. So I just await him to leave me to my misery.
Suddenly, the hands return, spinning me around this time and pulling me into the alchemists chest. His arms wrap around my small frame securely, making the great surprise I have grow. Everything stopped. The voices. My crying. My sobbing. My breathing. Everything. I just stand there dumbly, too confused and shocked to react to what I've dreamt about for years. Amidst all the shock, though, I felt a small warmth deep inside me, in my heart. It feels as if it had just grown into something much bigger. Something I won't be able to ignore or try to forget. Into something that I won't be able to shake off so easily.
But then it hit me.
Edward Elric. Edward freaking Elric is hugging me. Not just a 'oh, I'm just doing this 'cause I have to' hug. A real, comforting hug. It almost brought a smile to my face.
"You are not worthless, Katrina. You will never be considered worthless by me." His words touched me. They sounded like there are two meanings behind them, besides the obvious. Besides the fact that he was saying it to let me know.
Everything started to move again. My tears come streaming back down, and my breathing continues. But the voices are left out. I'm more happy now. Relieved, even, to know that Edward cares about me. He actually cares. Who woulda thunk it?
My arms wrap around his torso, and his own grip tightens. With a stupid grin suddenly appearing on my face, I cry my remaining tears into his shoulder, and he seems unfazed that I'm getting his shirt wet. He saved me from myself. From the dark part of my mind. And I owe him for this. I really do. Telling him the truth seems to be the only thing I can think of doing. So it's the thing I will do. Just...not right now..
"Thank you..."
Outside of the room, the phone rings. Being the only available person to answer it, Alphonse snatches it off it's cradle with out a worry as to who it may be.
"Hello?"
"Al, hey. It's Melina, again."
He smiles, "Hey, Mel. You finally phoned back."
A nervous laugh rings on the other end, "Sorry 'bout that. So, how's Kat doin'?"
The younger Elric glances over his shoulder to the doorway of his and his brothers room where he had a clear view of two certain people. His smile seems to grow as he see's them holding eachother, "They're doing just fine."
~*~
So there you go, I hope you liked it. Now I have a little challenge for all my readers who review :) Okay, here it is: When you review, I want you to guess (you can if you want to, you don't have to) what happened between Chris, the mysterious ex-boyfriend, and Katrina. If you guess I will give you a cookie! If your guess is the closest to what really happened, I will give you a whole jar of cookies! So get guessing! :D
Sorry if the fluffy part is kinda crappy, I kinda rushed it to finish the chapter :/
Kat: You know, they're probably gonna be mad at you.
CM: And why is that?
Al: You didn't tell them what happened between Chris and Kat.
CM: Heh heh...I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
Ed: By the way.. *turns to Al* You were watching us?
Al: Um....No?
CM: Okay, before Ed and Kat get mad, I'll get Melina to say the ending sentence.
Mel: Thank you all who read todays chapter! CM loves each and every one of you! So PLEASE REVIEW!
Kat+Ed: ALPHONSE!
~~~~****~~~~
Little End Story
I hate portable phones. Why do I hate portable phones? They always die on me when I'm talking to people! This is one of the times it died on me, before I even got two words in.
Anyways, my best friend Paige, or otherwise known as Smeakr (her username) or Ali, and I talk on the phone A LOT. I mean, we're talking one hour straight sometimes, if my parents aren't home to kick me off ^.^; Anyhow, one day, last year I think it was, we were talking on the phone and my mom wanted to get onto the computer. The phone that is connected to the wall is right beside the computer, so when we're talking on that one, we're usually sitting in the computer chair. I told her 'sure' and told Paige to hold on. I got up and went to grab the portable. I grabbed it, started heading back and clicked it on. Before I even got it to my ear it 'beeped' and died. Now, being me, my first instinct was to scream,
"IT DIED!!!!!"
Really loudly and dramatically.
My mom glared at me so I shut up and grumbled the entire way back to the wall-phone. When I picked it up, Ali's laughing - I mean, KILLING herself laughing - and when I ask what, all she says is,
"It died!!!!"
This is why I hate portable phones. Or just mine in general.