I AM SOOOOOO SORRY! FORGIVE ME MY READERS FOR GETTING THIS CHAPTER OUT SO LATE DX I never meant to, I really didn't. Blame my procrastination and writer's block, as well as my surprisingly busy summer. Now that school has started, however, it will be even harder to get chapters out. I got transferred to a new school recently in a neighbouring city, and there's far much more homework as well as that I don't get on the computer as much as I used too . I'LL TRY HARD.
Other news for you guys is that I recently posted a one-shot to go with this story, and it's called 'Inconveniences'. It's more for comedy but I'll be happy if you go check it out.
Now then, as my make-up to you for getting this out late you are allowed to throw this conveniently placed piano at me. That or ask me a question about any upcoming chapters or secret information that I WILL answer, but only ONE question. This is a special deal people, I don't usually let people know.
Anyways, please enjoy and REVIEW!
Skritch, Skritch
...
Skritch, Skritch
"Wait..."
...Erase...
Skritch, Skritch
...
Skritch, Skritch, Skritch
...
SKRITCH, SKRITCH, SKRI-
SNAP
"FUCKER!"
The Elric brothers jump at my sudden exclamation and jerk their gazes in my direction. I ignore their enquiring looks and focus all of my attention on the pencil in my hands, green eyes glaring angrily at the broken lead. Not only is my stare consumed with hate and blood-lust, but the muscles in my arms are tense as my fists clench, one of said fists gripping the broken pencil.
The cause of all my misplaced frustration is sitting directly in front of me in the form of a notebook. However, the usual smooth, white sheet of paper is obscured with thick, black writing; almost as if the words were written with a piece of coal. Most of the equations and scientific questions are unanswered, and the textbook laid out to my right is practically mocking me with all of the knowledge that I don't quite understand.
Not only is unfinished school work the source of my unruly anger, but the fact that it has been nearly a week since Edward and I confessed our true feelings to each other. Sure, it might have been happy-happy-joy-joy the first ten minutes, but the awkwardness between us has yet to lift. It's the fact that neither of us have the courage to step up and actually do something to make it disappear that really gets me. Maybe he figures it will soothe itself out when, in all reality, it doesn't appear that way to me. It's not like we don't speak to each other, because we do, but it's usually simple questions and answers. That or small sarcastic quips shot at each other.
Obviously, this isn't going to go away by itself unless one of us throws away our god damn pride and does something about it. The chances of that happening soon are about one in a million, unless he proves me wrong within the next few days.
"Um...Are you alright?" Alphonse asks tentatively. He said it so quietly and cautiously that I almost didn't hear him over my violent thoughts. It's as if he's afraid that one wrong move can set me off even more.
"No..." I moan dejectedly, tossing the broken pencil in front of me and flopping onto my stomach. "I will never understand chemistry."
"Then maybe you should stop sleeping in classes," Ed says, rolling his eyes.
The brother's eyes widen a bit when all that leaves my lips is a silent sigh, marking my truce and want to not start a fight. Honestly, I just don't have the energy to pull a remark out of my ass and serve it on a silver platter. Besides, what good would a fight do for Edward and me right now? Not only would that make us even more tense around each other but the blonde tends to...get extremely grudge mental when someone takes stabs at his pride. I don't need him having a grudge against me over something completely and utterly stupid when I'm trying to get rid of the tense air around us both.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Ed wonders, confusion obvious in those golden eyes.
With a roll of my eyes, I nod in Ed's direction, but that doesn't seem to ease their, I guess, worry. Is it really that surprising that I just don't have it in me lately? Geez...
"Whatever. Think what you will, but I am completely and utterly fine. Just...stressed out..." To emphasize my point, I glare down at the written text before me.
"You have been working pretty hard, Kat. Maybe you should take a break," Al suggests simply.
Hmm...that doesn't sound like a completely horrible idea. I have been studying non-stop for the last couple of days with only a short break to eat or have a short conversation with Al. Lately the young boy has been more understanding than usual and offering advice like never before. Somehow he figured out the whole scenario between Ed and I, whether it be Ed himself who told him or maybe he could just tell from our appearances and the tension. God, who could not notice the tension? I've gotten phone calls from both Nicoule and Mel, the two of them demanding to know what happened. Though, on Nicoule's part, it was more of a threat than a real question. Besides, I never ended up telling either of them about the situation, which displeased both, but they just don't have a need to know. At least, not right now.
In the end, and definitely with a lot of persuasion, Mel let it go. She hasn't asked me about it again once and told me that this is my problem now. She offered her help, I refused, so now she'll just sit and watch. It may have sounded cold, but I know she didn't mean it. She's always there when someone asks for help, and only acts cold to help you realize that you really are way in over your head. This can be helpful, yet other times it's really not necessary.
Nicoule, on the other hand, is more stubborn. She hasn't let this go so easily and told me that she'll find out what's going on, no matter what. This frightens me a little, to tell the truth, because Nicoule can and will find out whatever it is that's bugging you. The girl is clever, and definitely has a good pair of eyes and ears to be able to spot even the littlest detail in either appearance or speech. I already suspect that she's figured out at least half of it, knowing her mastermind.
Part of me wants both of them to know what's going on so I can have some more opinions on this matter. The other part, however, doesn't want them to know because I want to try and handle this myself. There have been far too many times I have depended on others when it was my problem. Too many times have I wimped out and dropped my own weight and watched as the people around me have to help me pick it back up. I'm sick of it. I want to be strong. I want to be able to handle my own problems with confidence and in good stride.
"A break doesn't sound half bad, Al," I smile, "But if I have to take a break, so do you two."
"Why should we?" Ed asks, crossing his arms across his chest stubbornly.
"No need to get defensive, Ed. I'm merely saying that you two should have a break as well to put your minds at ease for a bit. You two really deserve it with how hard you're working," I respond as I begin to pack up my books and supplies.
Al sighs at Ed's childish composure before exasperatedly smiling in my direction, "A break sounds good Kat."
I chuckle softly, standing with all my things in my hands and heading towards 'my' room. As I enter, I toss over my shoulder, "Hey, can you guys change out of your pyjamas? I need to do a load of laundry."
"Sure thing!" Al calls and I faintly hear footsteps softly padding against carpet before disappearing into the room beside mine.
I smile in satisfaction as I dump my books in a pile on 'my' bed and then leave, heaving my own laundry basket in my arms down to the laundry room on the other end of my house. There I sort my pile of dirty clothes into the separate piles; darks, delicates, colors, etc. As I'm about to start up the washing machine, a loud thump to my left makes me jump and swerve around.
The day suddenly got more interesting.
There in front of me stands Ed. Not very eventful, right? Well, how about we add a few extra details. There in front of me stood a shirtless Edward and my face suddenly becomes a very deep red. Irritation is just swarming in Ed's gold eyes and a deep frown stretches across his face while I just choose to stand there like an idiot with my mouth hanging open and eyes as wide as they can go. Yeah, okay, I have seen guys shirtless before but those guys were definitely not as fit as Ed. Oh dear God; please don't let me be drooling.
"How long will this take?"
"Uhhhh...what?"
Ed sighs in annoyance and crosses his arms over his bare chest. His whole body language just screams impatience but all I can concentrate on is trying to slow my heartbeat and to definitely keep my eyes from subconsciously staring at that beautifully built upper body. The blush hasn't even lessened and my throat suddenly feels incredibly tight. Not to mention that my hands suddenly want to be a water fountain.
"How long will laundry take?" He asks the question so slowly and punctuates each word so perfectly it's like he's talking to a two year old.
I humph at his tone and instead concentrate on the laundry basket he dumped on the floor earlier. Slowly I begin sorting the brother's dirty clothes into the piles as I reply to Ed's question, "Well, it'll take about an hour or maybe less to do one load. If you're asking about all of the clothes then it'll take about...three and a half hours...maybe..." I shrug, tossing one of the boys' shirts into the darks pile. "Why?"
"I have no shirts left."
Ah, so that explains it. As much as I enjoy watching him walk around shirtless, Ed still needs a shirt. I may have heaters in my home, but that doesn't stop it from being cold sometimes.
I cough nervously at my thoughts, silently thankful that Ed can't read minds. I can feel my cheeks beginning to turn even redder by the second, and to try and distract myself from both my thoughts and my nerves, I ask him, "Can't you borrow one of Al's?"
"He's down to his last one," Ed sighs, his shoulders slumping a bit in absolute defeat.
"Well, I guess y-AHHH!"
A loud bang echoes around us as I bang into the dryer behind me, flinging the white piece of cloth out of my hands and watching as it lands on the floor. Ed jumps a bit at my outburst before looking down at the thing I threw away for me.
Then proceeds to burst out laughing.
After catching my precious breath that I wasted on that over dramatic scream, I glare at the blonde in the doorway. He either doesn't notice or simply ignores it because he just continues to laugh, leaning against the door frame for some support. Although my glare contains as much hatred as I can muster, an embarrassed blush still manages to make its way across my face and ruin my facade. Of course only he would find this absolutely hilarious. Yes, because a girl grabbing a pair of one of the brothers' boxers is freakin' hilarious. Okay, so I might have over reacted a bit, but they hide their thing in there!
"You shut up!" I exclaim, pointing an exaggerating finger at Ed. Again, this motion does not seem to process in his brain for he continues to laugh.
Growling, I grab one of the shirts from the dark pile and throw it at him. It reaches its mark –surprisingly -, pelting Ed in the head and just staying there. Covering my mouth with my hands, I attempt to hold in a giggle as Ed's only gold eye showing dully looks at me while the other half of his face was hidden behind the dark blue t-shirt. Finally, the laugh breaks loose from my throat only to be silenced when a pair of my pj bottoms hit me in the face. The fabric falls away from my face, allowing me to see again, and I immediately notice Ed's triumphant smirk. With a glare, I grab whatever I can get my hands on from the piles of laundry around me and throw it at Ed. Ed mimics my motion and suddenly we find ourselves in the middle of a clothes war in my laundry room. Jeans, shirts, socks, whatever we could grab flies at either him or me, sometimes hitting us, sometimes not. The war slowly messed up the piles I took time to sort, but I didn't care and even though this war is making a mess of my laundry room, I can also slowly feel it mend the tense air between Ed and I. I'm starting to feel comfortable again, I can slowly feel it disappear, and suddenly it's like it wasn't even there.
That is...before it came back in full force with one little action.
Ed and I freeze, both of us staring at the other with wide eyes as shock rides throughout both of our bodies. Ed's flesh hand remains grasping my wrist, inhibiting me from throwing the tank top in my hand, and the force of him nearly tackling me to keep me from throwing it at him had sent me crashing into the washing machine. Where I now find myself pinned between it and Ed.
Neither of us move nor talk. All we do is stare into the others eyes, too shocked to move and too embarrassed to utter a word. The comfortable feeling that once was in me is blown away and replacing it is an anvil sitting in my gut. Not to mention that the tension resting in our muscles is also in the air around us and I can almost feel myself suffocating from it. Whatever tension we have managed to get rid of over the last few days has suddenly come back, making me realize that this will be no easy task.
All too suddenly, Ed removes his hand quickly, almost as if I had burned him, and takes a few steps back. He opens his mouth to say something but then just closes it, eyes darting to the floor as he shakes his head. Then he just leaves. That anvil in my gut I had mentioned earlier has suddenly spawned a mini-me that has taken up the void in my heart.
That was almost cheesy.
I sigh, sliding down the side of the washing machine until I'm seated on the floor. With my knees pulled up to my chest, I rest my chin on the top of them and stare at the clothes littered floor. We had at least made some progress over the last few days, but then it turned out all for nought with one simple action. To us, however, it was not simple. It included getting incredibly close when neither of us is not exactly ready for that. After the kiss on that one night, it was like touching would suddenly set us on fire, and was usually avoided as much as necessary. The pleasurable tingles I used to thirst for when his fingers skimmed mine are still faintly there, but are covered up by the feeling of being unsure. I'm unsure if he's really ready to move forward in this – supposed – relationship. Maybe I'm unsure if I want to as well...
No, no of course I'm ready to move forward. It's what I've dreamed about after I discovered I did have feelings for the stubborn blonde. And that's exactly what he is; stubborn. If the situation has anything that might hurt his pride or whatever the hell it is that guys worry about, then it may take serious consideration so his manly man...ness doesn't take an unnecessary beating. So I may be opinionated sometimes, but this is how most guys around me are, and I know that at least 90% of them are like this. The other 10% is seriously hard to come by. They must have all gathered in an underground city or something...
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that Ed may take a while to make a move to disintegrate this barrier between us. So my choices are to either wait like most damsels in distress for their princes, or make the first move and be a bad ass. However the problem with both of these choices could have serious consequences. Waiting might make it seem like I honestly don't care where this relationship goes (especially if I also decide to act normally), and that might hurt Ed's decision if he wants to move forward or not. Waiting could also cause us to grow even further apart. Making the first move, on the other hand, might make me appear to be too desperate (if the move is quite drastic) and that sometimes can be a bit put-offish. It also might hurt Ed's decision because it might seem that I'm putting pressure on him to just decide, and it better be to move forward when I'm not trying to pressure him. Whatever he chooses is fine with me, even if one choice will make me thrilled, while the other will leave me disappointed. Whatever he wants to do, I will do. You know the gist right? If he's happy, I'm happy.
I hate being corny like this, but it's the only way I can honestly describe what's going on. I' m really not one for that cliché love story – and could really live without it – but when I'm with Ed...it's like I've fallen in love with a fairytale. And like all fairytales, the people in it have to overcome some sort of hardship. In Sleeping Beauty it was a dragon guarding the sleeping princess, keeping the prince from reaching her and saving her. In Cinderella, the prince had to find the girl from the ball while Cinderella's step mother and sisters decided to keep her hidden so she wouldn't be found. In my own fairytale, however, it's just unsure teenagers and insanely suffocating awkwardness between them. For some reason, I'd rather face the fire breathing dragon...
Now that I think about it more and more, the whole scenario between Ed and I is almost like it jumped out of one of the books from my childhood. Like the stories I was speaking of before; Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, and so on and so forth. All of them had a prince in it that had to overcome some sort of danger to reach their one true love. Usually the girl, who was usually a princess, was taken hostage by this danger and forced into something such as marriage, or wanting to be killed by this danger. Now we all know that Ed isn't exactly prince charming, and I know that I'm not really much of a princess. We also know that I am in no way close to being in danger, and neither is Ed (at this precise moment), and it's because of these things that make this tale a bit different from the usual fairytale. We're writing our own story with our own words, and it's up to us to give this tale a happy ending.
That's right. It is up to us.
I furrow my brow in concentration, my mind in a tornado of thoughts. If the two of us were completely comfortable with each other before we confessed to each other, then why is it different after? We knew of our feelings and yet we were still comfortable; talking, laughing, teasing, everything was the usual. And if I recall correctly, I really wasn't the only one causing accidental touches or catching glimpses of the other out of the corner of the eye. But it seems that once we threw our secret out into the open, it caused some sort of side effect, but I can't exactly tell you why it did. I don't necessarily know myself. All I can really tell you is that there has to be some sort of antidote to this side effect. There has to be or else there wouldn't be as many happy couples in the world as there are today. They all must have overcome this obstacle, somehow. The question is how...
Maybe it was all in their own way, at their own pace. Maybe not all of the couples actually had to go through this because they were already so comfortable with the other that it just didn't even happen. Maybe this tension has an extremely deeper meaning to it, and I just haven't figured it out yet.
Here I am with all these maybe's and yet no concrete figuration. If only I was as observant and clever as Nicoule, maybe then I'd be able to figure this out. Maybe I should get her help in this.
I shake my head firmly. No, like I said, it's up to us, and only us. Surely I can find it in me to figure this out. It might just be simple enough that I won't have to go through all this observing and such, though a part of me highly doubts it.
I can do this!
I can't do this...
I thought I could, but it really didn't take long to prove me wrong. Besides, it didn't really take long for him to ditch either, so that didn't exactly help with my examine-from-a-distance plan. I guess I did gain some info just from that plan, though it isn't very much. All I figured out is that he tries to avoid me as much as possible. He can't even stand to be in the same room as me now, all because of that one simple action that took place in the laundry room. I just don't get why, though. So he can kiss me once, but then he can't even simply touch me. It's confusing, and almost stupid in my opinion. Why can't he just come out and tell me what's wrong?
Why, Kat? It's because this is Edward Elric you're talking about. The guy couldn't even tell Al about some of the things bugging him, even though he knew Al is his brother and no matter what he would not leave Ed's side. The two have a bond greater than anyone I have ever known and they connect just like magnets. So if Ed can't even tell Al something that's bugging him then you know that it's really something important, or something that appears only important to Ed who thinks Al won't understand. Even though I can't say for sure which one is really going on, I have my beliefs that it's the latter.
If I remember correctly, the only way to really get Ed to spill the beans is if you confront him about it. Unless you do so, then there is a high chance that you won't find out what's going on for a long, long time, or maybe never at all. I think the only way Ed won't say what's bugging him is if he's in an exceptionally stubborn mood. Either way, though, I'll find a way to get him to tell me.
"Hey Al?" I call softly as I stand from the chair I was recently sitting in. The young Elric looks up at me, telling me that he's listening. "Can you promise me that no matter what you won't go into this room?" As I say this, I motion towards 'his' bedroom, where Ed retreated to only a little while ago.
Al's eyes soften and he smiles, though it almost looks sympathetic, "Sure thing Kat. Good luck."
"Thanks." I'm really gonna need it.
Without another word, I turn on my heal and head towards 'Ed's' bedroom door. Just as I'm about to open it, I stop, and then decide to knock first instead. Usually it's not really much of a problem, but now that this is all happening he might appreciate a knock first instead of me just barging in. Yeah, that probably wouldn't play out so well, and it would probably make him even madder at me, if he is mad at me at all. If not, well then, I'm at a complete loss of what emotion he is holding at me, besides confusion.
I tentatively knock and then wait patiently for any kind of beckoning to enter. When I hear nothing, I swallow hard and reach out with a shaking hand to open the door. As I enter the room, I find him laying on his side on his temporary bed, now wearing one of the zip-up sweaters that Zach had donated. My first thought is that he's sleeping, but I'm soon proven wrong when he lifts his head to see who had entered the room, only to drop it back down and bury his face into the pillow. He looks so exhausted, both mentally and physically. It's as if his mind won't let him sleep, or something.
I breathe in deeply before beginning. "Look Ed, I think we need to talk..." I start softly. I end up mentally slapping myself because it almost sounds as if I'm going to dump him, even though I don't know if we even had a relationship to start with.
He lifts his head once more and stares for a moment. With a sigh, he nods and sits up straight, allowing me to sit next to him. Instead of doing so, however, I chose to stand in the middle of the room. Sitting next to him would just make this harder than it needs to be, and I also have a sudden need to pace.
"What do you want to talk about?" He asks quietly, head propped in his hand and his eyes fixed on the floor.
"I know guys don't like talking about their feelings, but it seems that we should do this right now. Whatever is going on between us is really bugging us. The only way we can make this disappear is if we do something about it," I reply. As I talk I try as hard as possible not to let my voice waver, and to try and keep my hands still. I manage with keeping my voice even while my hands just keep shaking and I have to resort to stuffing them in my pockets to keep them still.
Ed sighs for probably the millionth time today, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead. Neither of us say anything for a few minutes and it's probably because we really don't know what to say. What's going on between us is probably just as much of a mystery to Ed as it is to me. Even though I have been in a few relationships before, I can't recall ever having to go through what the two of us are going through now. If I had, I can honestly say I don't remember. Meanwhile Ed has never been in a relationship at all, as far as I know. He's probably even more clueless than me as to what to do.
"There's just a lot on my mind right now," He says finally.
"You think you're the only one?" I wonder. His eyes still don't leave the floor. "What I'm trying to get at is that I want us to just be able to settle this now. I don't want to wake up every morning and dread what the day might bring." I still get no reaction out of him. Clenching my fists, I glare down at him and exclaim, "This is what I mean! You won't even so much as look at me! Do you think this is only hard on you!"
Now that seems to catch his attention and his head jerks a little, his golden eyes finally looking up from the floor to peer through his bangs. Again, his lips don't move to form words, and any other movements that I wish would happen don't. He remains sitting there, silent, head tilted slightly down and eyes gazing solemnly up at me. It almost gives me chills, the way he's looking at me. A part of me almost wants to run and hide because of the way he's looking at me. Another part of me, however, almost wants to smack him for not saying anything. I'm split into two, between aggression and timid.
"Now was that so hard?" I hiss, my green eyes still narrowed in frustration, "Will talking be even harder for you?"
"...No," He mutters, sighing once again.
"Then please enlighten me as to what is on your mind."
It wasn 't really much of a question as it was a demand. Aggression is slowly taking me over, and I find myself irritated by simply anything now. My mind is screaming at me to shut up, or to calm down, warning me that my inner bitch is awakening. No matter how much the sirens in my head go off, I just can't seem to make myself calm down. Even if I hate being a complete and utter bitch in situations like these when nobody is really the bad guy, I just can't seem to brush this anger off.
Unsurprisingly, his mouth remains clamped shut again, eyes closing and lips pulled down in a tight frown. If I was in my right mind, I would have realized that it was a thoughtful expression. Unfortunately, I'm not in my right mind, and the first thing that pops into my head is that he's not willing to speak to me. That he's just being the little stubborn bastard that he usually is.
I growl under my breath, "Why do I even bother?"
Turning on my heal, I start walking towards the closed bedroom door. It would only take under ten steps to reach the door and one swift movement of my arm to open and close it. Then Edward can have the privacy he seems to prefer.
With the blood rushing in my ears and my heart thumping painfully in my chest, I almost don't hear the squeak of bed springs and the exceptionally loud step of metal against carpet. A hand grips my wrist tightly, bringing my march to complete stop. The first emotion to run through me is surprise. He barely made a motion to look at me when I was at least trying to speak to him and it took me to turn away for him to make a drastic move. The second emotion to run through me is anger. Teeth grit in absolute frustration and the muscles in my arms and hands tense, my fingers curling into fists.
I jerk around to face the blonde only to freeze. His face holds such a pained look, one that's extremely rare for the young alchemist. Gold eyes stare at me pleadingly, begging me not to leave like this, and the hand around my wrist confirms this. His jaw is firmly set, lips in a tight line and now is when I can see the thoughtful debate going on inside his head.
Moments pass and we remain staring at each other. It's just like the night we confessed, both of us unable to speak or leave the others gaze. Instead of being afraid that the other would disappear, it's the fear that if he lets go then that's all this needs to fall apart. I see it in his eyes, he truly is afraid and his grip on my wrist only tightens. I don't fight it at all, even if the anger within me has yet to disperse. It's only subsided for now. The look Ed holds in his eyes is enough to keep it at bay unless he says or does something to make this irrational emotion ignite once more.
He breathes in deeply, a preparation for what he's about to say, and then he opens his mouth finally, "You want to know why I've been so distant? Why I've been so silent? I'm scared, that's why. I'm scared that confessing was a mistake. I'm scared that this will only end horribly. Al and I might find our way home and I already know what we're going to choose. Al misses everyone there, and I do too. It's our home, Katrina, and even though I might be falling for you that's where we belong just as much as you belong here. So I'm scared to touch you because that might make this hurt so much more. I'm scared, Kat..."
His eyes clench shut and I can feel his hand trembling against my wrist. He's human and fear is a natural human emotion, but I can't help but feel shocked. Here's the guy a lot of people look up to, even myself on occasions, because he's believed to be this determined, fearless hero. You see the time's he feels sad, or afraid in the anime or manga, but you somehow look past it at the determination that you see in his eyes in the next scene or the next page. Now though, I just can't overlook it and I feel horrible for thinking that it was his pride keeping him back or being so angry with him for something so natural. It makes sense what he's saying and now I'm afraid too.
I stare sadly at him, eyes stinging from the words still ringing in my head, and I reach up to touch his cheek. His eyes snap open at the touch, and he stares at me in shock as my lips curve upwards in a sympathetic smile. I shouldn't be surprised to see that he's afraid since he's already lost so many people that he cares about. Being in another world only to find that you might have to leave another person that you care about behind would be painful. I would probably act the same as he has been if I was in his position.
Hesitantly, I lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips, pulling away shortly after. I caress his cheek once more before gently pulling my wrist out of his grasp to make my leave. I don't want this to be hard for him, so if he doesn't wish to touch or show any sort of affection, then so be it. As much as that will most likely hurt, the end of all of this will hurt so much more.
I didn't even step back one pace when his hands come to cup both sides of my face, keeping me in my spot. His lips meet with mine again, but it's anything but chaste. This kiss is much deeper with much more meaning behind it, as well as so much more emotion. I feel the desperation, the fear behind it, but somehow it only gives me courage. I feel that if we're able to have this time together, then we should savour it. It might make it hurt worse in the end, yes, but sometimes it hurts even more when you know you didn't even try. What you don't do is something that you will regret more then what you did. If you do, you know you tried. If you don't, you regret what you wish you had of done. I've regretted too much in my lifetime, and now that I've actually been given a chance, I won't give it up.
The kiss reminds me of our first one, and I realize it really isn't much different. His lips are still the same ones that I kissed the last time; smooth and warm. It's as naive as the last, no matter how firm or deep it may be. After that, however, it's a bit different. He isn't as unsure as he was last time. He's sure that this is what he should do, or what he believes in what to do. He doesn't ease into it and then retreat a little from being unsure. He doesn't tremble from being nervous. Everything about him is relaxed; his flesh thumb caresses my cheek, and his lips work against mine without any nervous ease in, ease out motion. If the mood isn't so serious, then this moment would be amazing.
He splits from me, eyes opening slowly to look into mine. He doesn't say anything, but he really doesn't need to. He's already said everything that's been bugging him and that's enough. I, on the other hand, have some things to say.
"I'm sorry for being a bitch," I murmur, wrapping my arms around his torso in a hug. He returns it, resting his head atop mine. "I'm...I'm scared too, I guess... But I'll only regret what I might do, so please let's make this last..."
Then our lips meet one more time that day, accepting this agreement between us.
This chapter was probably a bit corny but hey, I tried . Anyways, Ed kinda appears a little OOC to me but that's really up to you guys on that. It'll be nice to know if he is or isn't. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, even though it took so long to get out . I got busy over the summer with a temporary job and a lot of camping, then there were the days that I just procrastinated on writing.
Well, you know the gist, REVIEW PLEASE!