They don't talk for the rest of the year.
Whenever Sirius enters a room, Remus always seems to be on his way out - and when he's not, then Sirius leaves, because the silence is too pointed between them. He doesn't try to break it. He tried once, three weeks after their last conversation, and Remus had shot him a look so withering that Sirius was surprised he didn't just drop dead where he stood.
He thinks he's almost relieved to be home, which is such a surprise that he wonders, briefly, if he's in some kind of nightmare.
His mother screams at him within about an hour of his return and Sirius sighs, realising that no, this is just his life now.
The first month of the summer passes without incident; Sirius mainly stays in his room, though he does also wander around London from time to time, returning in the early hours of the morning, when he bothers to.
Then they get the news.
Andromeda's getting married.
Sirius shrugs when he first hears of it - though he thinks it strange that Regulus has made the effort to come all the way upstairs to speak to him - and when his little brother says the next sentence, Sirius realises why he's being told.
"She's marrying a muggle," Regulus says, the dark glee evident on his face.
Sirius frowns and gets up, pushes past Regulus to make his way down the stairs - and he stops when he sees his mother in front of the family tapestry, wand at the ready. He hears Regulus come up behind him but doesn't turn; neither of them speak. Their mother blasts Andromeda's face from existence and when she sees her sons watching, she smiles.
Sirius lets out a noise of pure disgust and makes his way back up to his room, slamming the door behind him. No one bothers him for the rest of the night.
Occasionally, other family members come to visit. One of these visits happens the day of Andromeda's wedding, when both Narcissa and Bellatrix come for dinner. Sirius is mildly surprised that Bella hasn't taken the opportunity to crash a muggle wedding but Narcissa - ever polite; not that that's exactly a redeeming quality - seems to have been the one to set the appointment up anyway. Sirius slopes down for food at the last possible moment and his father glares at him until he takes a seat at the table.
His mother smiles unpleasantly. "Have you finally decided to grace us with your presence?" she asks in a sickly-sweet tone.
Sirius says nothing. He's going to send an owl to James later, he thinks. He's only had one note from his friend all summer - not that it's that unexpected, but still. He's slowly going mental here, a combination of boredom and loneliness and dinners like this aren't helping any.
Bella smirks at him. "Funny behaviour for a traitor," she says. She's not being completely serious - but none of them have ever managed to get over his sorting.
It doesn't even bother Sirius that much, now.
"It's 'cause he's got no friends," Regulus says around a mouthful of peas and Sirius' eyes snap to him. Regulus is too eager to impress, which Sirius knows is because his brother has seen the consequences of his own behaviour, but still-
"Oh, poor Sirius," Bella says, grinning. "Not a single mudblood lover interested in talking to you?" She cackles and Sirius' mother laughs too.
Narcissa's eyes, when Sirius looks to her, are hard steel. He puts his knife and fork down slowly. It's only a few more weeks until he's back at school again-
"Is little Sirius getting angry?" Bella asks. Her face is twisted in delight. Sirius knows he and his cousin resemble each other and wonders if he ever looks like that.
Did he look like that when he told Severus-
He cuts that thought off and pushes back from the table. He's done. He's so incredibly done.
"Where are you going?" his father asks sharply. He probably hasn't even been listening to the conversation - but he notices one of his sons disobeying, because of course he does.
"Out," Sirius replies.
It's his mother's turn to look annoyed. "Where?" she demands, then, "No, you're not. Sit back down and eat your food."
His things are already packed, Sirius thinks absently, like he knew he was going to do this. There's a certain surety about his actions. He hasn't got a choice. He can't stay here.
He turns on his heel and leaves the dining room, ignoring his mother's sudden screaming. He takes the stairs two at a time and drags his trunk out from under his bed. There are still a lot of things he's going to have to leave behind but he can't bring himself to care. Everything important he keeps in his trunk anyway, so that his mother and Kreacher can't get to it.
He does glance around the room one final time, smirking a little at the muggle posters he's got glued to the walls. They're going to have a fun time trying to peel those off.
With a nervous, unfamiliar feeling in his stomach, Sirius makes his way back down the stairs. His father is waiting at the bottom. He can still hear his mother screaming in the kitchen - the insults are flying thick and fast - but he thinks he can hear Narcissa trying to soothe her. Good luck, cousin, he thinks. She's going to be mad for ages.
"You're making a bad decision, son," his father says and Sirius doesn't look at him, instead dragging his trunk over to the door. He knows exactly what decision he's making. Hell, he knows exactly why it's his father standing here and not his mother. The shame of their son leaving will follow them around for a few years at least. Of course, they'll twist it; they'll point out that he's a Gryffindor, that he hangs around with muggle lovers and half-bloods. He hopes with all his heart that no one knows Remus' secret.
Hand on the doorknob, Sirius looks over his shoulder at his father, who stares impassively back at him. Until this point, Sirius has been sure that Regulus always took after their father the most, but this expression - it's like looking into a mirror. Sirius hopes that this decision won't make his eyes so flat and dead in the future.
He opens the door and steps out into the cool London night. The door slams behind him and Sirius takes a deep breath, feeling almost all of the tension drain out of his body.
That's it. He's free.
He arrives at the Potter house at some early hour of the morning and debates for a long time whether he should knock or wait until the sun comes up. The house is visible from all sides though, so he's only going to draw attention to himself if he waits outside.
He knocks, feeling terrible as he does so. James isn't Remus - they were talking at least, when they left for the summer, but there's a tension there that Sirius can't shake. If James turns him away now, Sirius isn't sure where he can go.
Maybe to Andromeda? He doesn't know where she is, but he can find her.
The door opens and it's James' dad, staring suspiciously out into the night. When he sees Sirius with his trunk and pale face, he sighs, like he's been expecting this.
"Come on in," he says. "Do you want something to drink?"
Sirius nods and suddenly his body is trembling all over as the reality of what he's done hits him full-force. James' dad helps him pull his trunk inside and then, with a hand on Sirius' shoulder, steers him gently into the kitchen. He leaves Sirius alone for a couple of minutes and Sirius hears hushed voices in another room, but he doesn't even try to make out what they're saying.
James moves into Sirius' field of vision and he jerks his head up, surprised. "You idiot," James says quietly, but there's an element of fondness in it. "You want to stay here?"
Sirius licks his lips, his throat dry. There's a burning sensation at the back of his eyes, but there's no point in shedding tears over this. What's done is done.
In his mind's eye, he sees his mother, her wand raised - and a hole, in the tapestry, where his face should be.
"Please," he says.
James smiles softly and sits down next to him. They stay that way until the sun rises and Sirius finally, thankfully, falls asleep.
He spends the next few days wandering around the Potter house like a ghost. James tries to entertain him, but Sirius is brooding and though he tries to snap out of it, he doesn't always manage to.
James' parents are perfectly understanding, however, which is a novel concept for Sirius. James' father doesn't ask and his mother is a quiet, almost comforting presence.
A week after his arrival, an owl comes. Sirius recognises it and is sure he feels his heart break - because while he hasn't seen that owl all summer, it's clear that James has.
He turns and buries his head in James' pillow, because of course James and Remus have been in contact all summer – but he looks up when James taps him on the shoulder.
"Mail for you," he says.
He passes Sirius a small slip of paper and opens his own letter, which Sirius looks at with no small amount of envy.
He looks down at the note in his hands. You were too good for them anyway. - M.
Sirius feels that same burning sensation at the back of his eyes and swallows a shaky breath. It'll be okay. He'll be okay.