James' parents take them to King's Cross on the 1st September and while they're saying their goodbyes, Sirius keeps a wary eye out for any member of his family, no matter how distant a relative they may be. He spots Regulus through a crowd of Slytherins but his brother doesn't even look in his direction. Sirius thinks maybe he hasn't been noticed, but another of the Slytherins looks at him and sneers and he realises he has, but he's been ignored.

Well, it's better than the alternative, he thinks.

James' parents say goodbye to him, too, before they leave, and then it's just him and James dragging their trunks onto the train and commandeering a compartment for when Peter arrives.

Sirius hopes Remus will come and sit with them as well, but he hasn't heard anything else from the other boy all summer, so he doesn't have his hopes up too high.

Still, when Peter bounds in ten minutes later, he's dragging Remus along by the arm. They put their trunks away and sit on the seat opposite, Peter's grin very bright.

When he looks at Sirius, it dims a little. "Sorry about what happened, Padfoot," he mutters quietly.

Sirius smiles too, though he knows his is week and he can feel James' stiff awkwardness beside him. "Don't worry about it," he replies, because there's no point in that - in them worrying about it too.

"Are you okay?" Remus asks and when Sirius looks up to see who Remus is talking too, he's surprised to see it's him.

He swallows once, nervously, and when he smiles this time, it's softer but he can feel it's more genuine. "I'm good," he replies. "Really."

Remus eyes him for a long moment, his lips pursed like he's thinking, before he nods. "Okay," he says.

James starts a conversation after that, something about how amazing this school year is going to be but Sirius doesn't really listen.

He spends most of the train journey subtly eyeing Remus, instead.

At first it's a little awkward, navigating the fact that they haven't spoken properly for months, as well as trying to not mention the incident that led to it in the first place. Still, Sirius struggles through, certain that most of the awkwardness is on his part anyway.

It goes fine for a while. By the night before December's full moon, when James is discussing what they could all do - they could explore the Forbidden Forest again - Sirius looks up and realises Remus is looking at him.

"You're coming, right?" he says. James pauses mid-sentence.

Sirius blinks, surprised. "I, uh-" He hasn't thought about it. Obviously he hasn't joined them since. If Remus-the-boy was mad at him, he never wanted to think about what Remus-the-wolf might do.

Remus is still looking at him, but his expression is a little uncertain and Sirius wonders if it has been as awkward for Remus, if he's been unsure how to approach things, too.

"Yes," he says finally. "I'll be there."

The smile Remus gives him is so honest and so pleased that Sirius feels his stomach do a little flip. James rolls his eyes and goes back to planning, with Peter and Remus interjecting every once in a while. Sirius feels heat creep up the back of his neck as he eyes Remus again. Best not to dwell on it.

It happens more and more often though, and by the time it gets to the Christmas holidays, Sirius is sure somebody else is going to notice the almost-constant state of blushing he has going on around Remus. James doesn't mention it, however - and Sirius knows that, had he noticed, he would - so he resolves to not think about it.

The fact is, he's not bothered about being attracted to Remus except for the fact that it's Remus he's attracted to. Any other boy - with obvious exceptions - then he probably wouldn't care.

In fact, he'd probably have made a move by now.

But Remus is different. For one thing, they've been friends since they started school, more or less. It's strange to think about him differently. For another, he is positive that Remus doesn't feel the same way about him. They've only just started talking again, for Merlin's sake! He can't just ruin it all now-

He spends so much time worrying about it that the others do begin to notice something is wrong with him. James asks him one day at breakfast - when Sirius is still too sleepy for his mind to be fully-functioning beyond the ideas that he needs something with caffeine in it and he really wants to kiss along Remus' collarbone, which he can see past the unbuttoned top of Remus' shirt. Remus is looking very thin. It's the full moon in two weeks.

"What's going on, Padfoot?" James hisses quietly, when Sirius hasn't answered for a full minute.

Sirius drags his eyes up to his friend. "What?"

"What's going on with you?" James asks again, this time a little more sympathetically. Peter and Remus are looking at him now, too, and there's equal concern in all their gazes.

"I- Nothing," Sirius replies. It's a little petulant and he knows they don't believe him, but he looks down at his plate, hoping they'll drop the subject.

There's nothing on his plate. Shit.

He reaches for a slice of toast, though he's not sure if he even wants to eat it, when Peter says, "You look like Prongs when he sees Evans." There's a laugh in his voice and Sirius drops the piece of toast like he's been scalded.

Shit.

James laughs a little too loudly for Sirius' liking and he focuses on him, avoiding looking anywhere in Remus' direction. Surely they haven't seen-

"Who's the lucky girl, then?" James asks. Thank Merlin.

Still, the question makes him fidget because they've spoken about girls in the past - of course they have - but Sirius has never mentioned that boys are as interesting too.

He's never told them about the Ravenclaw seventh year from last year, but then none of them were speaking much with him at the time.

"There's no girl," he says.

James tilts his head to the side, his eyes assessing. Peter looks confused. Remus - Remus' expression, Sirius can't read.

"There's no girl," Sirius repeats, "Because there's-" He hesitates and then the words all spill out, all at once. "Because there's a boy."

James smirks. He's completely unfazed, because of course he is. Peter blinks a few times and looks to the others. He nods, slowly, and Sirius knows it might take him some getting used to, but he'll get there.

Remus' expression hasn't changed but there seems to be less tension in his shoulders.

"So who's the lucky boy?" James asks, amending his question.

Sirius laughs at that. James waggles his eyebrows. "Is it me, Padfoot?" he asks, his voice teasing but not mocking. Any and all worry Sirius feels surrounding this issue dissolves into the air. These boys all mean different things to him, but it's been James who has looked after him the most, who has sheltered him from his family. He doesn't want to lose him. As much as losing the others would hurt, Sirius feels he could pull through it and still be strong on the other side. He's practically done it with Remus already.

If he loses James, whenever, for whatever reason, he thinks that will probably be the end of him.

So he replies, "Don't flatter yourself, Prongs. I'm not interested in boys who'll burst my eardrums with their snoring," and he picks up a slice of toast, taking a large bite. It's all fine.

By February, Sirius has learnt how to control himself around Remus a lot more. There's none of that tension between them anymore and if he sometimes finds himself staring at Remus for a little too long, well then he can chalk it up to hormones or something like that. He's not in love with his friend. He's not.

James has been trying to step things up with Evans, too - and seriously, Sirius thinks, he's chasing the impossible, but James is at a whole level beyond that - so when he comes to Sirius on the day of the full moon, Peter in tow, Sirius isn't as surprised as he should be.

"I've got something to do tonight," James says and there's a note of pleading in his voice that Sirius hates, because it means he'll end up doing whatever James wants. "I need Peter to help me with it. Would you be okay going to see Moony alone?"

Sirius shrugs. "What are you doing?" he asks.

James grins. "Gonna try and surprise Evans with a romantic date."

"Has she even said yes?"

James shifts from foot to foot. "She's close," he says, "I know it."

"Well," Sirius proclaims, sitting up, "While you two are being super creepy, yes, I will go hang out with Moony. If you come back here hexed, don't expect me to help you."

"Thanks, Padfoot!" James replies, beaming, and runs out of their dormitory, Peter close on his heels. Sirius rolls his eyes and goes back to reading his book, but he's honestly a little pleased. It's not like it will be him and Remus hanging out as such, but it'll be nice to run around with the wolf without checking that the others are okay, too.

It's a crisp night. He shakes the snowflakes from his fur, the wolf padding alongside him. He barks and the wolf looks at him with one yellow eye - and then they're running, racing through the snow to the dark mass of trees in the distance.

The air smells of winter and trees and people and when they enter the forest, Sirius slinks through the trees, the wolf close on his heels.

There's a small thud as the wolf tackles him and they land in a snowdrift. Sirius twists his body out from underneath the heavy wolf and runs again, enjoying the chase.

It's all play - and the wolf can't play with Prongs or Wormtail in the same way, not in the way that has him worn-out by sun-up and Sirius has to nudge him back into the Shrieking Shack.

He leaves as dawn touches the sky and makes it back into the dormitory before any of the other Gryffindors seem to have even stirred. James and Peter are both fast asleep still.

Sirius crawls into bed with a smile on his face.

When he wakes again, it has to be the afternoon. The room is empty aside from him and he frowns. They've been doing so well at making it to class the next day these past few months - they don't want anyone to get suspicious, after all - but he supposes he did run about a lot more last night.

He thinks. It's a little before noon, which means almost time for lunch, and they have Charms this afternoon, so he should probably go. He pulls himself out of bed and stumbles into the bathroom to wash.

When he walks back into the room, Remus is standing in the centre of it. He frowns. His friends looks pale, but not so bad as he did last month. He can't be so bad, if they've only kept him in for a few hours.

"Moony?" he asks. "You okay?"

"It was only you last night, wasn't it?" Remus replies.

Sirius feels his throat go dry and he nods. Is Remus mad again? It wasn't his fault this time-

Remus' face splits into a wide grin and Sirius just stares. "I remembered," Remus says. "I remember it was you and- and me, and we went into the forest-" He laughs. "We shouldn't have gone in there," he says, "But I remember it being fun."

Sirius smiles back. "It was fun," he says. He takes a few steps towards Remus. "You gonna sleep the rest of the day?" he asks.

Remus nods. He looks tired, but weary, not the kind of delirious, bone-tired he's looked in the past. His head's still in it. Sirius reaches out and takes his arm. "Come on then," he says. "Sleep now and you'll probably be awake in time for dinner."

Remus allows himself to be steered towards the bed, but when they stand next to it, he turns and looks directly into Sirius' eyes. Sirius feels his breathing quicken and then realises they're too close; Remus probably heard that.

"Thank you," Remus says quietly, sincerely. "Last night, he, I- I felt safe, Sirius. Thank you."

Sirius drops his gaze. "Don't worry about it," he says, mostly to the floor and he figures Remus is probably smiling because there's fondness in his voice.

"Really," he says, "I don't know what James and Peter thought they were doing, but last night was good. Transforming back- It was a little easier this morning."

Sirius looks up at him again, because despite everything, Remus never speaks about his transformations like this. They know he becomes a wolf every month and they know the mechanics of it because of their lessons, but they don't know a thing about how he experiences it.

"I'm glad I could help," Sirius replies and it's sincere.

Remus smiles, that genuine smile that hits Sirius like a punch to the stomach every time and he catches Remus' changing expression too late-

"Oh."

Sirius goes to take a step back, to leave, but Remus' hands grab his wrists and he stops, stands still. It's Remus now who's looking down. Sirius can feel his heart hammering in his chest. Oh Merlin, if he's screwed this up-

"Really?" Remus asks. His eyes meet Sirius' again, hopeful. His voice is a little pleased.

Sirius chokes out a laugh; he can't help it. Before Remus' smile drops, he says, "Well, who else was it gonna be?"

Remus kisses him. He drags him forward by the front of his pyjama shirt and kisses him softly, sweetly. Sirius' hands are shaking and he can't figure out where to put them, because this is Remus - oh Merlin, this is Remus - and Remus pulls back, huffing a breath against Sirius' cheek.

"You are ridiculous," he says, and reaches, placing Sirius' hands on his waist. "Now, Padfoot, would you just kiss me?"

His lips are close and Sirius grins, kissing Remus like his life depends on it, wrapping his arms around Remus' waist and pulling him close. Remus' hands tangle in his hair and their kisses are fast and breathless - more than Sirius ever thought he could want. He smiles again when they pull away.

Remus looks incredible and all Sirius wants to do is push him onto the bed and make those lips even more swollen. He wants to kiss down his neck and lick the hollow between his collarbones and-

Remus yawns and Sirius laughs, still not letting go. "Bed," he says instead, his voice hoarse.

Remus looks like he might argue, but Sirius shakes his head. "You need to sleep," he says. "It's going to be worse if you fall asleep on me."

"I would not-"

"Shut up," Sirius says and laughs at Remus' affronted look. He reaches and takes Remus' cloak off, letting it drop on the floor, then pushes him back to the bed. "I'll come and get you before dinner," he says, "Though if James and Peter come back up here, you might be awake by then."

Remus slides under the duvet and then chews on his bottom lip, looking uncharacteristically nervous. "Do you- Would you mind-?"

"What, Moony?" Sirius asks. He feels like every part of him is glowing. He can't honestly remember the last time he was this happy.

"Stay with me?" Remus asks and his voice is small.

Sirius looks down at him. There's no decision to make. He's kind of crazy about this boy.

"Budge over, then," he says. Remus does and Sirius slides in beside him, wrapping one arm around Remus' waist. It's almost more intimate than the kissing, the way their legs tangle together and Sirius' senses are full of Remus; the tickle of his hair on Sirius' nose, the sound of his breathing, his scent-

"Thanks," Remus mutters again and Sirius presses a kiss to his nape.

"Don't be silly, thanking me," he whispers. "Just go to sleep."

Remus does fall asleep, slowly, but Sirius stays awake a bit longer. He can't believe it. He curls around Remus a little, careful not to wake him. He's not going to ruin this.

He's not going to ruin any of this.