Oh my God... is this? Is it really...?
Yes! It's a chapter!
Oh my goodness, this took longer than I expected, and I feel horrible that it took so long to finish this darn thing and get it posted. Sorry guys :C
But I gotta say, I have fantastic people who read this story. Each and every one of your reviews makes me smile, and I get inspired every time I receive one. I apologize that it takes me so long to publish chapters, but thank-you guys for sticking with me along the way! I love you guys! C:
Now onto the chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I'll try to get the next one out as soon as I can.
"What?" Edward snaps at me, gold eyes narrowing at me.
Silence fills in the space between us as I struggle to find the right words, or any words at all. I can feel my heart hammering at the inside of my ribcage so hard that I can almost hear it in this silence. My entire body begins to shake, and I clutch my hands together in my lap to try and cover up how clammy they have suddenly gotten, even though the brothers probably can't even see them beneath the table. Alphonse turns to look at his older brother, looking mildly surprised. Neither of us had heard Ed enter the kitchen, and if we had, I wouldn't have said what I did. Edward seems to ignore his younger brother's silent confusion, and continues to stare me down. Soon the other Elric turns back to look at me, and begins to do the same.
"Well?" Ed snaps at me again, and I actually flinch at his biting tone. I avoid his eyes and instead stare down at my lap as his voice seems to rise with each word that comes out of his mouth. "If you can tell Al, you should be able to tell me. Or were you planning on hiding this from me?"
"Brother-" Al began, but suddenly gets cut off.
"Oh, like you're one to talk," I mutter back bitterly at Ed, raising my head so that he could see my glare, "You were planning on not even telling me that you were going to be leaving. Did you think that it would just make it easier for you? To just leave without me knowing, and pretend that everything that's happened these last few months never even happened?"
"Don't change the subject! We're not talking about what I want!" He yells back at me.
"So now you're just going to hide from it, and not even admit it yourself that you had planned to do that!"
"What do you think you're doing now! Hiding from it, so that you don't have to tell me yourself what you want!"
"Well, I'm sorry that I was afraid of how you would react! And now I know I had every right to be!"
"It's your own fault for thinking up such a dumb idea!"
"Oh, so it's dumb now! Oh right, I forgot that you think that I have an IQ of a five year old!"
"It is dumb! And you are stupid for thinking up such a dumb idea! Do you know how dangerous what we're going to be trying to do is!"
"Yes, I do know, because I've always been right next to you guys helping you research! I know what could happen, and I still don't care! I can't pretend what has happened these last few months has never happened! I can't just sit here and watch you leave without me! I can't just continue to live a normal life after you've left, and act like nothing has happened, because I know I can't just forget this!"
Edward opens his mouth to respond, but after a long pause without the ability to form any words, he snaps it back shut again and instead resorts to frowning deeply. Alphonse glances back and forth between his brother and myself, too afraid too speak and subconsciously add fuel to the fire that was burning. Every part of my being was screaming at me to step back from the situation, yelling at me to leave it be until both Ed and I have cooled off and were able to discuss this in a calm fashion but I merely scoffed mentally at my own stupidity. Ed would never consider talking about this like a normal human being. He was too stubborn to actually take my side of the story to heart, and instead think that his reasons are better, make more sense because he was the scientist and smart one, and go on with his life as if the discussion never happened.
Clenching my fists, I let my gaze fall to the floor, bangs flopping over my eyes so that neither of the brothers would be able to see my sudden onslaught of tears. My lips part to form words, but all that comes out is a frustrated sigh. Shaking my head, I raise a hand to wipe my eyes, hoping to rid myself of the water filling them. Unfortunately, the salty tears continue to form, and slowly they begin to fall down my pale cheeks.
"Has everything that has happened these past few months not even matter to you?"
A quiet, broken voice breaks the silence suddenly. It sounds so weak and helpless, and it takes a moment for me to realize that it was my own voice cutting through the tense air. It sounded nothing like my voice, and upon hearing my words, I could tell that the brothers had some similar thought. Ed's face immediately falls into one of sympathy, and possibly guilt. Still, his eyes burnt with stubborn determination, and I knew it was determination not to give in, and still go on with his first decision. The decision of leaving without me.
The older blonde mutters out a silent curse before closing the space between us. He stands before my sitting figure, and, almost hesitantly at first, rests a hand on top of my head. The other hand – the flesh one – comes to rest upon my shoulder. At first, I wanted to cringe away from his touch, knowing that just moments ago the two of us were spewing venom at each other. But I just couldn't. I crave the comfort I receive from his touch, and receiving it now, just after a fight that neither of us would have been able to prevent, is something that I just can't refuse.
"I don't want you getting hurt..."
This is what it all came down to. He didn't want me to go with them because he knew there was a possibility that I would get hurt. The real reason behind his anger and frustration towards me was all because he cared. In the end, his worry outweighed his want to take me along. It causes me to choke down another sudden onslaught of tears, and silently I feel disgusted at myself that I'm the cause of the problems the brothers are facing at this moment. If my emotions had not gotten the best of me, and I had been able to not get attached to the brothers, then they would have been able to come and go in this world so much easier. It was my fault that they had to go through these problems now, and have me continue to cause them.
What happened to me? Before, I would have been able to keep my walls up, and plaster a smile on my face. I used to be able to ignore my own feelings, and be happy for others so that they wouldn't have to worry about me. But now, with my walls now broken and crumbling, I can't ignore the harsh truth that's before me. I can't pretend to be alright with this whole situation when I'm not okay.
I lay my hand on the one Edward has rested upon my shoulder. Squeezing it, I raise my eyes to look into his, and I can see the care he has deep within them, embedded into his very core. He cares about others far more than he lets on sometimes, but if you really look, you can see it.
"Please, Ed.. I don't care if I get hurt. I can't just watch you two walk away." I've resorted to begging, my one last hope to try and convince Edward.
"You'll regret leaving.." He states softly.
"I'll regret my decision either way, but this is what I truly want. I've thought about it time and time again, and this is my choice," I respond.
The two of us stare at each other for another long moment. I hold my ground, and my breath, hoping for a miracle that Edward agrees to bring me along. His golden eyes search my face for any sign of hesitance, or a sign that I was unsure. When he finds nothing, but sees that my eyes only hold determination, he releases a soft sigh.
"Let me...think about it.."
Squeezing his hand once more, I smile, knowing that there was a chance. "Thank-you Ed."
The ending might seem a bit lazy... Sorry. My brain is dead from school.. I can't wait until next year when I graduate, I'm sick of dealing with this High School drama... xD
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I'd love to here your feedback C:
And hopefully I'll get the next chapter out quickly.. xD