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Blaine froze.
"I love you so much," Ryan continued, not noticing how uncomfortable Blaine suddenly was. "I've kind of known for a while now but I just...seeing you with Cleo today it just...I feel like I fell even harder."
Blaine pulled back slightly, opening and closing his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. "I..."
Ryan's face fell a little, but he quickly covered it back up. "It's okay," Ryan said. "You don't have to say it back if you're not ready."
"I, um..." Blaine pulled away completely, standing up and trying not to wake Cleo up. "I need to get Cleo home."
Blaine began to carefully rush around the apartment, grabbing his bag and Cleo's bag and trying to get his shoes on while carrying everything at the same time.
"I thought Kurt was picking her up?" Ryan said, trying not to show how upset he was.
"I just realised it would be a lot easier if I just took her back on my way home," Blaine said, pulling Cleo's coat on her as best as he could.
"Blaine -"
"I'll see you later," Blaine rushed out, kissing Ryan's cheek before all but running out of the apartment.
Only once Blaine was halfway to the subway station did he realise how stupid of an idea it was for him to attempt to get Cleo home by himself. There was no way he'd be able to go into a packed station with Cleo in his arms, let alone on an actual train with her.
He sat down on a bench close by and cuddled Cleo close to him, blinking sadly up at the sky when he felt a drop of rain hit his cheek. Thankfully, Kurt had packed Cleo's rain coat - you never know what the weather will turn out like, Blaine - so she was fully covered.
Pulling out his phone, Blaine dialled Kurt's number - feeling like a complete idiot.
"Blaine?" Kurt said immediately, his voice concerned. "Where are you?"
"What?"
"Ryan called me," Kurt replied. "He said you just ran off on him."
"I...I'm near the subway station," Blaine explained, blinking back tears. "And I need you."
"I'll be there soon," Kurt said reassuringly. "Is Cleo okay?"
"Yeah," Blaine said. "She's sleeping. I don't know how I haven't managed to wake her up yet."
"That sounds just like Cleo," Kurt laughed. "Blaine...are you okay?"
"I don't know," Blaine said honestly. "I really don't know."
"Okay," Kurt sighed. "I'm leaving now. I won't be long, I promise."
"Okay," Blaine replied, pocketing his phone once they ended the call.
Blaine pulled Cleo even closer to him, burying his face in the hood of her coat where it was pulled over her head and staying like that until Kurt arrived.
"Blaine?" Kurt said quietly, as if Blaine was asleep.
Blaine looked up at Kurt, smiling sadly. Kurt lifted Cleo up and carefully carried her back to the car and sat her in her car seat.
"You're drenched," Kurt commented blankly when he saw the state of Blaine.
Blaine stood up, looking down at his clothes in disgust. He was soaked from head to toe, his clothes sticking to him uncomfortably.
"Come here," Kurt said simply, holding his arms open for Blaine, even though he looked like he'd just been pushed into a swimming pool.
Blaine fell easily into Kurt's arms, holding him tightly. "Did he tell you?"
"No," Kurt answered. "He said you freaked out on him and ran off, but he didn't tell me why."
Blaine nodded against Kurt. "Can we talk about it later?"
"Of course," Kurt said. "Come on, you're wet and it's cold. I have some towels in the car."
"You really do prepare for everything, don't you?" Blaine laughed as he got into the other side of the car and accepted a warm, fluffy towel from Kurt and sinking back into his seat in comfort.
"Blaine?"
Blaine blinked his eyes open, noticing that the car had stopped and they were parked outside Kurt's apartment.
"Hey sleepyhead," Kurt smiled. "I didn't know if you wanted to go home so I just came straight here..."
Blaine sat up a little, yawning and rubbing his eyes before speaking.
"No, I wanted to talk to you anyway," Blaine said. "I'm probably going to drive myself crazy otherwise."
"Okay," Kurt said. "Let's get inside, it'll be much warmer."
Kurt carried Cleo inside and into her bedroom without waking her, pulling her coat off carefully and kissing her forehead before quietly leaving.
"Do you want to shower?" Kurt asked. "No offense, but you kind of look like a drowned rat."
Blaine laughed. "Yes, please," he replied, unravelling himself from the towel.
"There are towels in the bathroom already and you can use any of the stuff that's in the shower," Kurt instructed. "Do you need to borrow some clothes?"
"Um...well I have the stuff that I wore yesterday but..."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Hold on," he said, making his way into his bedroom before returning a few moments later. "Here." He added, holding out a set of clothes for Blaine.
"Thank you," Blaine said quietly, accepting the clothes before shuffling towards the bathroom.
Kurt was on the sofa when Blaine emerged from the bathroom, curls wet and fluffy as he curled his fists into the sleeves of Kurt's over-sized pyjamas.
"Hey," Kurt said softly. "Are you okay?"
Blaine shrugged, walking over to the sofa and sitting next to Kurt, pulling his knees up to his chest.
"What happened?"
"Ryan told me he loved me." Blaine answered quietly, fiddling with the material of the shirt he was wearing in favour of looking at Kurt.
"Wait, I'm confused. Isn't that a good thing?"
"No, because I couldn't say it back," Blaine said, looking up at Kurt with tears in his eyes. "He was understanding, I guess. I mean, he said that I didn't have to say it back if I wasn't ready..."
"So what's the problem? I don't get it. I thought you really liked him?"
"I did," Blaine said. "I do. I didn't realise it until he said it, but I don't love him," he said, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I do really like him, I think he's amazing and I have so much fun with him, but I'm not in love with him."
"Oh, Blaine," Kurt said sympathetically. "You have to tell him."
"I don't want to hurt him," Blaine cried, floods of tears finally leaving his eyes. "And I really don't want to lose him."
"Come here," Kurt said, holding his arms out for Blaine, who leaned gratefully into his embrace. "He's in love with you, Blaine," he pointed out, wrapping his arms around Blaine's body and holding him tightly. "Either way, you're going to end up hurting him. The longer you leave it, the more it's going to hurt him. At least if you tell him now it won't hurt as much. And I don't think you could lose him even if you wanted to," he added honestly. "Your relationship aside, that boy thinks the world of you and I think it would kill him not to at least try to be your friend."
"Why do I just screw up every relationship I have?" Blaine asked brokenly.
"Okay firstly, you've only been in two relationships - ever," Kurt laughed. "You didn't screw up the first one, your douche of an ex did that all by himself. And you didn't screw up this one either. You can't help how you feel; you can't help it if you're not in love with him."
"How did you know?" Blaine sniffed, looking up at Kurt. "How did you know you were really in love? That you wanted to spend the rest of your life with the same person."
Kurt swallowed, tears appearing in his eyes. "I guess I just...I just knew. Ethan was...he was everything. He was sweet and kind. He made me laugh even when I was having the worst of days and he always paid attention to the small details that most people wouldn't notice. I guess you can just tell, you know?"
Blaine leaned his head back against Kurt's shoulder. "He sounds amazing."
"He was," Kurt whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek as he found the wedding band that he still wore with his opposite hand and ran his finger over it.
"I'm sorry," Blaine said. "I shouldn't have brought it up, I -"
"It's okay," Kurt replied. "Honestly, I kind of like talking about him. It hurts like hell but I...I guess I don't really let myself think about him all that often. I try to keep myself busy with work and Cleo so that I can distract myself, but I should probably talk about him more."
"Well, just for the record," Blaine began. "If you ever want to talk to me about him, or anything, you can."
"Thank you," Kurt said, wiping his tears away. "And ditto. I'm always here for you."
"Even when I'm being stupid and self depreciating?"
"Even then," Kurt laughed. "Anyway...you know Ryan's coming to the party tomorrow, right?"
"I know," Blaine sighed. "I need to talk to him anyway...I might as well get it over with."
"It'll be okay," Kurt assured him. "I mean, he knows something's up anyway."
"I feel like such a jerk," Blaine said. "I shouldn't have run out on him like that."
"At least you didn't say something you might have regretted," Kurt pointed out. "Or it didn't come out in a harsher way than you intended. At least you can both just discuss it maturely."
"I hate being an adult," Blaine laughed. "Can't I just go back to being a kid?"
"Just wait until you have kids," Kurt pointed out with a laugh. "As much as I love Cleo, she can be a handful sometimes - any kid can."
"My mum used to tell me I was like a little ball of energy running around the house," Blaine said. "So if that says anything about what my future kids are going to be like then I'm definitely screwed." He laughed.
"You're still a little ball of energy," Kurt chuckled. "Nothing has changed there."
"Hey!" Blaine laughed, smacking Kurt playfully.
"Don't even try to deny it," Kurt laughed. "You know it's true."
"You're mean," Blaine pouted.
"Yeah, but you love me anyway," Kurt teased, poking his tongue out.
"That's what you think," Blaine countered.
"You're such a dork," Kurt said, shaking his head with laughter.
"Shh," Blaine said, laying his head back on Kurt's shoulder. "I'm upset, remember?"
"Idiot," Kurt laughed, kissing the top of Blaine's head.