Hey guys. I took forever on this and I apologize for that... But life is extremely busy and it's been hard for me to work up any motivation to write for the last few months. I did have a draft written up on my old laptop, but sadly, that laptop is completely done for... I didn't forget about this story though, and I finally sat down and whipped this out. It's different from how I originally planned on the story ending and I took a couple days to really decided whether or not I wanted this to be my final chapter. In the end, I do. Even though I planned for there to be a sequel, I don't know if I will ever get to it/finish the sequel and so I wanted the final chapter to sort of tie everything together but also be able to lead into a sequel if there is one. Also, I apologize if this is not exactly what you were expecting, but I really feel that this should be my final chapter. Kat may seem OOC or something, but I know how much I have changed over the years, especially after going through some heartbreaking and extremely difficult situations. So I believe that Kat would go through some serious changes as well.

Anyways, enough of my ranting. Thank you guys for all of your support. I appreciate everything you guys have said and all of the follows/favs I have gotten. I'm sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoy.

Smoke trails up towards the sky in a thin stream, coming from the tip of the cigarette between my fingers. A light breeze disturbs the smoke and blows my long hair away from my face. The strands dance behind me for a few moments before settling, resting down my back once more. Besides the occasional breeze, it's a beautiful summer day with nothing but blue sky. The sun beats down on me where I sit outside my new home for the past few months and yet I have never felt colder.

I sigh, clenching the white envelope in my hand, currently reliving memories and emotions I had buried within myself years ago. I bring the cigarette up to my lips, making the cherry at the end glow red, before I let my pale hand fall and I release the smoke from my lungs. Smoking is horrible, I know this, but its a habit I adopted in high school. It was the only thing I found that helped to numb the horrible feelings that curled within my gut. When the feelings and memories began to fade, I continued to smoke until I felt like I had reached what I thought was the most content I had been in a long time. And then I quit. I have gone without a smoke for six months...

Until today.

It's been four years since Edward and Alphonse left this world and left me behind. Four years since I screamed myself hoarse. Four years since I cried myself to sleep at night for weeks. Four years since my life fell apart and I lost myself. Four years since I read this fucking letter.

I curse, sucking in another drag from the smoke. It had taken me so long to feel even okay after that dreadful day. My life had changed drastically within a few minutes. After that, I wasn't as happy anymore and for a long time I isolated myself. I continuously tried to understand the notes and alchemy books they had left behind in hopes that I could follow them. However, without previous experience with the science and a lack of understanding, my efforts were for naught. It took me a long time before I could accept that and decide to give up.

Everyone noticed my change; especially Melina, Nicoule and my family. They tried to help me as much as they could, but it never helped. Depression had completely consumed me and the cold darkness refused to release me.

I was selfish, honestly. I knew that my friends hurt considering that Edward and Alphonse were also their friends and they too felt completely betrayed and lied to. Instead of accepting their help and returning their comfort, though, I ran. I completely pulled away from my friends, the people who cared and understood better than anyone what I was going through, and convinced my parents to transfer me to the high school a town over. I believed that if I could get away I could forget about it all and revert back to how I used to be. In reality, I was only getting away for a few hours, and after the day would be done, I would return to where my painful memories originated.

Even though that was the case, it did help, even if it was only a little bit. I began, or at least tried, to forget the most unbelievable few months of my life. Even if it seemed like they had disappeared, I knew they were dwelling at the back of my mind, waiting to catch me off guard with the happy and yet sad memories. I tried creating a life for myself again, attempting at making new friends at my new school, and succeeding. At this point, Melina, Nicoule and I only kept in touch maybe once in a month, and even now we only talk every few months over text.

After a year filled with many different attempts to forget everything, I graduated. At this point, I really didn't know what to do with myself. I covered up my sadness with cigarettes and booze any chance I got for that entire year but graduation made me wake up a bit. I came to realize that I needed another distraction instead of being drunk with supposed friends all weekend. So I got a job.

It's not the most glamorous job in the world, but it's helped me more than I could have ever imagined. Though I am still friends with a couple people from high school, I met some people that I truly clicked with at my job and have become really good friends with. I really enjoy the work I do as well. No matter what, I'm always doing something, always moving, and never left to be sitting there lost in my thoughts.

With time, I became the happiest I've been in a long time. I began opening up again and smiling for real more often. After some time, when I had enough money saved up, I began renting this small apartment and started my independent life. Honestly, it's amazing. Even though my weeks are consumed with work most of the time, I couldn't be happier. Today, however, I feel as if I've thrown myself back in time.

I had pulled a box from my closet in my search for some paperwork but as soon I opened the box my stomach dropped. Inside I had discovered what I thought I had completely buried and left behind. Old books on alchemy, pieces of paper with notes of different writing, pictures, a jewelry box, locket, and this letter. I didn't even realize that I had brought this specific box with me and thought it had been left behind at my parents house to never be seen again.

Breathing out another smoke filled breath, I drop the remainders of my cigarette into a make-shift ash tray. Smoke continues to trail out of the opening of the pop can before eventually it ceases. I remain sitting there, staring off into space and clutching the letter in my hand. Slowly, I look down at it, running my fingers over the creases it's received after years of being forgotten. And then I open it.

For the first time in four years, my green eyes scan over the words that had caused me heartbreak. The words still create a stab of pain, but it's not as intense as I was imagining it to be. It creates a feeling of nostalgia and sadness, but I don't feel suffocated like I had when I first read it.

Dear Katrina,

I'm sorry... I've tried to think of so many other things to say, but all I can really think of is "I'm sorry." I would ask you to forgive me, but I know you will never be able to. I know I won't be able to. I lied to you, led you on, and then I left without a proper goodbye. I've done the worst thing I could have ever done to you.

I know you'll hate me for this, but I had to. I just couldn't bring myself to bring you with us Katrina, or the others. You all have lives here. You have families here. I couldn't tear you all away from something that precious. And please don't be angry with Al, this wasn't his idea, and he didn't agree with it either. This was me.

As for the lying, I was selfish. I knew that no matter what I wasn't going to bring you with me, even if I did want you to come to some extent. It's just that for the time I had left here, I wanted to see you happy.. I wanted to remember your smile and not your tears. I wanted to be able to hold you while I still had the chance instead of you hiding from me. Maybe I still would have gotten to experience these things if I was honest, but I was selfish and stupid.. Again, I'm sorry.

Even after all of the things I've done, I want you to know that I do love you. I will always love you. You made my life in this world so much better than I was expecting it to be. You were here for Al and I and helped us as much as you could. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done. I know Al appreciates what you've done for us as well, and we'll both always remember you.

Goodbye Katrina. I will never forget you and I will always love you. I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you and will live with this regret for the rest of my life.

I'm sorry.

-Edward

I continue to stare at the words, even after I finish reading. The memories of those few months swim in my mind but whats different is all of the happier memories are the more prominent ones. The sad memories are hidden behind all of the laughs, the jokes, and the love that was shared. As they continue to playback through my mind, I reach for my lighter, and with one more look, I fold the letter and proceed to light a flame at the edge of the paper.

I watch as all my pain, my sadness, and hate burns before me, leaving only the happy memories for myself. Once it's nothing more than charred ashes, I let it blow away with the breeze, content washing over me once more.

I will never forget them, I know that now. The time we spent together is something that I couldn't wish to have never happened. At first, all it caused me was pain to remember, but now, even if it still causes me sadness, I am thankful for that time. I don't hate them and I don't think I ever did or will be able to.

"I will always love you too.." I murmur to the breeze, letting that float away with it too.

And then I smile, letting my gaze settle on the beautiful blue sky.