Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter, nor will I ever own it.

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Begin Again
Chapter Two

Severus' POV

It had been three weeks since the Order's attempt at raiding the Death Eater's main safe house. Whoever fed them the information obviously didn't know the whole story. The Dark Lord was planning his next big attack and had ordered all of his followers to his Headquarters. Snow still covered the ground from the storm a few days ago and Severus Snape stopped to admire the frozen stream near the house the Dark Lord had made his own. The ice sent a dazzling array of colors across the bank and Severus couldn't help but think how much she would have loved it. Winter had always been her favorite time of the year. He used to love it because she did; now it just made him sick. With a scowl marring his features, he pulled out his wand and muttered, "Bombarda!" He watched as the ice shattered in a mini-explosion and the colors on the bank faded away into nothingness. Just like his relationship with her. He turned on his heel and continued making his way to Headquarters, the snow crunching under his feet and his robes billowing behind him. This would only be his second time to the Dark Lord's home; the first being when he received his dark mark. If the Dark Lord wanted Severus to carry out some sort of mission, he would have one of the Death Eaters come to him at Spinner's End. It wasn't long before the old, decrepit house loomed above him and Severus took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

There were special wards all over this house that the Dark Lord himself had created, one of them being that the only people who could get past the front gate were those with the Dark Mark. The only other people who were allowed in this house were the muggles and muggleborns that the Death Eaters kidnapped, tortured and killed. Rape was frowned upon by the Dark Lord, at least the rape of people with dirty blood. Purebloods and blood traitors were a completely different story. Severus shook his head to rid himself of the direction of his thoughts in case the Dark Lord was listening. He couldn't let the Dark Lord know that he had immediately regretted his decision as soon as he had made it. The gate opened automatically when the wards detected his presence and he swept up the pathway to the front door, pushing it open.

"Good to see you again, Severus," came the drawling voice of Lucius Malfoy.

Severus inclined his head towards the older wizard, "Lucius. How's Narcissa?"

"She's doing well, a little under the weather still, but much better than before," Lucius replied.

"I'm glad to hear that," Severus said, he really did like Narcissa; she had always been nice to him in school.

Lucius escorted Severus into the main dining hall where most of the other Death Eaters had already gathered. The Dark Lord had yet to appear, but he never started these little meetings when he said he would. Severus sat near the end of the long table, as far away from the Dark Lord as he could possibly get. He didn't want anything to do with the man, but now he had no choice. It was either stay with him or die fighting to escape. Severus never really liked to join in the conversations, they were mostly about the people they had captured and were now torturing. Severus kept himself locked in his home, creating potions and curses. That was his job for the Dark Lord. Severus was lost in his own thoughts until he caught a piece of the hushed conversation from the Death Eaters sitting next to him.

"-filthy bitch," one of them muttered, "She fucking bit me again."

The other man chuckled, "Well that's what you get for trying to get cozy to her."

"It's been three weeks! She should be completely at our mercy!"

Severus' heart stopped. Three weeks ago was the raid on the main safe house. One of the Order members had been taken, he knew that much, he just didn't expect it to be one of the few females he knew of that were part of Dumbledore's little group. He tried not to think about the fact that it could be her, but he knew it was a possibility. He knew that if it was her then he would do something very stupid. He kept his composure on the outside and strained to hear the rest of their conversation.

"It was so easy to capture her! She didn't even put up a fight," the second Death Eater said, "You should have heard Potter screaming for her."

It took all of Severus' concentration to stay in his seat and keep his face blank. Inside he was panicking. They had her. He had to find a way to help her escape. He knew he couldn't leave the room until the Dark Lord had finished speaking to them, so Severus willed himself to calm down. He carefully reinforced the blocks on his mind and he hid this new piece of information in the dark recesses of his mind where he kept all of his thoughts about her. It would do no good for Severus to get killed now while she was being tortured. By the time Severus was done strengthening his mind, the Dark Lord swept into the room. A hush fell over the Death Eaters as they stared at the man at the head of the table with fear and adoration in their eyes. It made Severus sick.

"Through some quite effective measures, Rodolphus and Amycus have managed to find Order Headquarters," the Dark Lord said quietly. He didn't have to speak loud, he held everyone's rapt attention.

"Did the pretty little mudblood finally squeal?" Bellatrix cackled and rubbed her hands together in excitement.

"Yes, Bellatrix, she did," the Dark Lord smiled, "They have another meeting in a weeks' time. We're going to gather our forces and attack them where they are least expecting it."

Murmurs and cheers went up at this, but Severus only wanted to find her. What had they done? His panic was slowly rising again and he forced it down. He tried to act excited like the others, but he could only feel the rage sweeping through him. He breathed through his nose and clenched his fists underneath the table. He had to calm down. He slowly unclenched his fists and made sure to keep his face blank and wiped all thoughts of her from his mind. He would deal with it later.

"Do you have something for me, Severus?" the Dark Lord asked, turning to speak directly to him.

"Of course, my Lord, I have perfected a new curse that should do quite a bit of damage to the enemy," Severus said cooly.

"I'd like to see a demonstration."

"Certainly, my Lord," Severus dipped his head.

"Bring it out!" the Dark Lord commanded.

Severus kept his head down and silently prayed that it wouldn't be her he had to use this curse on. When he heard the sound of someone being thrown to the ground, he forced himself to look up. The relief he felt washed through him and nearly knocked him to the ground. The person they brought up was a man and clearly a muggle. He looked to be in his late twenties with sandy colored hair and blue eyes. While it made Severus sick to hurt innocent people, he was glad that it wasn't her. He might not have been able to do it. He let a twisted smile grace his features so the Dark Lord would think he was enjoying his task and walked up to the quivering man, his wand held aloft.

"Cruor glacio," he murmured, twisting his wrist to the right so his palm was facing upwards before flicking his wand to the left.

The man lay at Severus' feet, staring up at him for several minutes before he let out a gasp and began clawing at his chest. The Death Eaters watched with glee as the man slowly died in front of them. Severus was disgusted with himself for making such a terrible curse, but he kept the counter curse to himself so that he could help anyone he saw with the symptoms. The Dark Lord had wanted something fatal and Severus delivered. Once the man was still, Lucius stood up and checked his pulse.

"Dead, my Lord," he said.

"Very good, Severus," the Dark Lord congratulated, "What does it do?"

"It freezes the blood slowly," Severus explained, "Depending on the strength of the curse and if you do the wand movements right, it can take anywhere from three minutes to an hour to kill."

"You've done well. I hope everyone was watching. We will meet here again in a week for our assault on Order Headquarters," with that said, the Dark Lord rose from his chair and left the room.

Severus couldn't stand to stare at the man he had murdered any longer so he left in the opposite direction of the Dark Lord. He knew he had to go down to the dungeons and find her. He cast a disillusionment charm over himself and made his way down to the dungeons. Once he had entered through the door, he cast a charm at the entrance to alert him if someone was coming down the stairs. He looked in almost twenty different cells before he finally found her. His heart broke at the sight. She was curled in on herself and shaking violently. She didn't move when the door opened and Severus could tell by her flushed face that she had a fever. The rest of her skin was deathly pale. Her clothes were barely there and they hung off of her now thin frame. Shutting the door behind him, Severus walked into the room and dropped to his knees next to her. He reversed the disillusionment charm so she could see him and he reached out to gently touch her face. She flinched away from him and Severus let his arm fall heavily to his side.

"Oh Lily…" he breathed sadly.

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Lily's POV

Lily had no idea how long she had been locked away in this room, cold and starving. They gave her bread and water, just enough to survive, and if she didn't consume anything, they would force it down her throat. Her clothes were in tatters and did nothing against the cold stone. She was filthy and so, so tired. The same two Death Eaters always came into the room she was kept. The first one would torture her for hours using various methods, but he still preferred the cruciatus curse. The second would touch her and kiss her in ways that made her hate herself. He never actually had sex with her, claiming it to be disgusting to 'fuck a mudblood'. Her breathing was shallow and she just stared up at the ceiling, waiting for someone to come into the room. She knew she was sick, possibly dying, and yet she found she didn't care. They had already gotten the information they wanted out of her. She didn't want to tell them anything about the Order, but they made her talk. It was so easy for Death Eaters, who had no limitations to what they would do, to get information. She wanted to die now. No one was coming to save her. They had abandoned her. The door opened and Lily turned her head to see which one had come to torture her. Death Eater number two, just the person she wanted to see.

"Ready for some fun?" he sneered.

Lily turned her back on him and pressed herself against the stone wall, anything to get away from him. She didn't want his hands on her. Of course, there was nowhere else for her to go to escape and she couldn't even stand on her own two legs. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulder and jerked her to face him. She glared defiantly at him but he laughed and grabbed her by the neck, hauling her up. He pressed his body against hers and Lily shuddered when she felt his hard length pressing against her thigh. He kissed and bit her neck, causing her to wince in pain. He kept one hand around her throat while the other hand roughly grabbed at her breasts. Lily felt absolutely no pleasure as this man handled her in ways that made her sick. She didn't even want James to touch her like this anymore. She didn't want anyone to touch her. She just wanted to disappear. She felt his hands wandering lower and she let out a small sob. He covered his mouth with hers to swallow the sounds and when he pried his mouth open, Lily bit down on his tongue again.

He cried out and pulled away from her, "God damnit! Fucking cunt! You're lucky the Dark Lord's called a meeting. Soon all your little friends will be dead because of you!"

Glaring at her, he threw her down on the ground, hard and put a well-placed kick to her side. The breath whooshed out of Lily's mouth and she gasped for air. She heard him walk out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Lily clutched her side and tried to get her breathing under control. She stayed on the ground where the Death Eater had thrown her and she curled up, trying to keep warm. She knew that he would come back whenever their little meeting was done and she couldn't stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks at the thought of everyone at Order Headquarters dying because of her. She shouldn't care, though; they had left her here to die. When she heard the door open again a few hours later, she didn't even bother to look up. She knew she was going to be punished for what she had done. She heard the man drop to the ground beside her and when she felt his fingertips on her face, she flinched.

"Oh Lily…"

Lily froze. She knew that voice. She could pick it out anywhere. It was the voice that both haunted and comforted her. It was his voice. She had to be dreaming. There was no way that he could be here. She slowly lifted her head up and was met with the fathomless dark eyes of Severus Snape. She didn't want to believe it. Memories of him had been keeping her going. She would think of Severus and everything else melted away. She stared up at him and she could see the pain in his eyes, the tears she knew he wanted to shed. Lily had always been able to read Severus, even when he didn't want anyone to know what he was feeling, Lily could always tell. Nothing about their past mattered right now. The only thing that mattered was that Severus had found her when everyone else had abandoned her. She winced when she moved her hand towards him and coughed.

"Sev…" it was barely audible and hoarse, but it was something.

Severus caught his hand in hers and brought it to his cheek, "I don't have much time, Rodolphus or Amycus could come down here any minute, but I'll do what I can, ok?"

"Please… don't leave…" Lily forced out.

"If I'm going to get you out alive, we have to do this carefully," Severus whispered, "Please trust me."

Lily nodded and Severus carefully placed her hand on the ground. He began waving his wand and muttering incantations. Lily felt her skin warm up and the ground she was lying on became more comfortable. The pain in her side slowly subsided and it became easier for her to breathe. He cast two more charms on her after that but Lily had no idea what they were. She didn't feel anything and she looked up at him questioningly.

"I cast a heating charm, a cushioning charm and a healing charm. The last two were for your safety. One will alert me if you're too injured and the other will help dull the effects of the cruciatus curse," Severus explained, "I'll come back with a fever reducer potion and some food. Have they been feeding you?"

"Pieces of bread," Lily muttered, her throat didn't hurt as much now.

"I'll bring you some fruit," Severus said softly, "Small amounts; we don't want to make you sick."

"Thank you, Sev… for everything," Lily said sincerely.

Severus cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead lightly, "Anything for you, Lily."

Terrified that something would happen to him or that he wouldn't come back, Lily watched him leave with a heavy heart.

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Severus' POV

Once he was out in the hallway, he cast another disillusionment charm over himself and left the dungeons. When he was far and clear, he made sure no one was around before reversing the charm. Severus didn't know why he had said that to Lily, nor why he had kissed her forehead. He couldn't help himself. She had looked so damaged, so afraid. Nothing like the fiery spirit he had come to know and love. They had broken his Lily and he wanted to kill the two that were responsible. He was still fuming when he left Headquarters and he apparated to Spinner's End as soon as he was past the wards. He grimaced as he stood outside of his family home. He hated it here, there were too many bad memories, but he didn't want to part with it. The house and the things inside of it were all that he had left of his mother. With a sigh, he strode through the front door and made his way down to his potions lab. He decided to bring her a pepper-up potion as well. That should help her out as well.

He grabbed a vial of pepper-up potion and fever reducer before going upstairs to his kitchen. He grabbed an apple and a banana for Lily and shrunk them along with the potions and shoved them into his pockets. He hadn't been gone long and he knew that the occupants of Headquarters were still milling about, so they wouldn't notice him being gone and coming back. He quickly disapparated and pushed his way through the gate and back into Headquarters. Once he was sure he was alone, he made his way back down to the dungeon after disillusioning himself again. He was eager to get back down to the dungeons to see Lily and he was almost running by the time he reached her door. He pressed his ear against the door to make sure no one was in there with her before he entered the cell. She appeared to be sleeping somewhat peacefully. Severus was loathe to wake her, but he knew that he needed her to drink the potions and eat the fruit that he had brought her. With a heavy heart, he kneeled down next to her and shook her gently. His heart dropped even further when she let out a small cry and pushed herself away from Severus, looking around her cell with wild eyes.

"Lily," he said softly, "It's okay, it's Severus. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Sev?" Lily asked as her eyes slowly focused.

"I brought the potions and fruit for you," Severus said as he plucked the items from his pocket and enlarged them to their normal size.

He handed Lily the two potions first which she drained in one go each. She took the apple from his hand and began eating it, slowly and methodically. She was focused on the task of eating and Severus took the chance to watch her. She brought the apple up to her mouth and bit down, a little of the juice dribbling down her chin. Severus longed to reach out and wipe it away, but he didn't want to press his luck. It was still too early for them to talk about the past and hopefully reconcile. He would wait until she was out of harm's way to attempt it, if she even wanted to speak to him once she was back with Potter. He still didn't know what she saw in him and he wanted to ask her so badly, but the look of delight on her face at the taste of the apple made him stamp down his questions. All in due time. When she was finished with the apple, she took the banana from him and ate it in a few bites. She licked her lips and Severus' eyes darkened as he watched her tongue swipe moisture across her lips.

"Will you have to go again?" she asked quietly, breaking Severus out of his thoughts.

"It's too dangerous for me to stay down here long," Severus said, "I'll try to come back as soon as I can with some more food, in the meantime I'm going to start thinking of ways to get you out of here."

"You promise you'll get me out?"

Severus nodded his head, a determined gleam in his eyes, "I promise."

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Author's Note: Yay! Severus! I hope you guys liked this chapter! So I've been debating about what to do with Harry. Should I make Lily already pregnant and use that as why James and Lily get married? Or should I have Lily go back to James for a bit and that's where she gets pregnant? I'm trying not to deviate too much from the actual series, but it's hard when my entire fanfiction isn't canon. Let me know what you think! Lily will end up with Severus regardless of how she gets pregnant, but I would really love your feedback! So leave me a review and let me know what you think!