Slightly shorter chapter which I did type up on a computer, but the word count disappeared so I just finished when I felt like it came to a natural ending. Pre-warning that I cried while writing this...so you may need to go grab some tissues before you start! Please review!
Blaine waited until the next morning to really talk to Kurt about why he freaked out at dinner, and when he woke up with the warm, safe comfort of Kurt's arms wrapped around him, he figured that there was no time like the present.
"Good morning, gorgeous," Kurt said, his voice hoarse with sleep as he kissed Blaine's shoulder.
Blaine smiled to himself, turning himself around so he was facing Kurt.
"Hi," he said softly, smiling lovingly at Kurt. "Can we...um...talk about yesterday?"
"If you want to," Kurt said, playing with Blaine's curls. "But you don't have to if you don't want to."
"I do," Blaine said truthfully. "Because it also made me realise something."
"Okay," Kurt said, not saying another word as he gave Blaine some time to figure out what he wanted to say.
"When you left the kitchen at dinner, my mom started saying that I should help you handle Cleo, as that if I wanted to be in a relationship with you then I couldn't 'ignore' Cleo," Blaine explained.
"You know that's not true though, right? She's not your responsibility and you're not her dad - you don't have to pretend to be," Kurt assured him.
"I know," Blaine confirmed. "I just got overwhelmed having my mom there, judging me with every breath I took."
"What do you mean it made you realise something then?"
"It was partly Cooper and partly Cleo...when I ran outside, Cooper came and talked to me. He said that when he found out he was having Zoe he was terrified, but she very quickly became his entire world. He also said that just because the idea of having a family scares me now, doesn't mean it always will. Cooper can be the biggest idiot in the world sometimes, but he told me that it wasn't worth losing the most important person in the world to me because of my mom," he said softly. "And he was right. When I was reading Cleo a bedtime story last night...I realised that I could see myself doing that with you right by my side one day - whether that be with Cleo or another baby. Then she told me she loved me and I...I realised that I can picture myself being a family with you," he said truthfully.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not saying we should run off and get married," Blaine said. "And we've not even been dating that long, so I'm not saying that we should move in together and be parents to Cleo either. But, do I want to slowly become more involved in Cleo's life and stop running in the other direction anytime I have even a tiny bit of authority? I really think I do."
"Blaine," Kurt sighed. "I'm really glad you feel that way, honestly, but...I have to put Cleo way, way before my own feelings. You're asking me to let you into her life on a maybe - maybe it'll all be fine, but maybe you'll freak out and call it quits in a few years. She's already attached to you, I don't want her to think you're a permanent fixture just to drag you away from her if it becomes too much."
"But you can let me into her life on less than a maybe?" Blaine asked. "Kurt, I can't promise that we're not going to end up breaking up. We could break up in three days or three years, or we could be together for the rest of our lives. Nobody can predict that, and you can't just shut me out because you're scared that's going to happen."
Kurt let out a shaky breath, pulling away from Blaine completely and sitting up. "You know that opening up to you terrifies me, Blaine. You know that this relationship isn't easy for me -"
"What and it's super easy for me?" Blaine asked. "I don't know if you remember, but I found out a few months ago that my boyfriend had been cheating on me -"
"My husband died!" Kurt all but screamed, a deafening silence following.
"Kurt," Blaine said quietly. "I know. But you know that he would want you to move on."
"That doesn't make it any easier!" Kurt cried, unable to stop the stream of tears that began falling from his eyes. "I love him, Blaine. Not loved - love, and that's never going to go away. He's never going to stop being Cleo's father, and he's never going to stop being the person that I started a family - started a life - with. I really love you Blaine, and god...I'm so glad that you're becoming more open to the idea of being a part of this family, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy for me to just let you in."
"I'm not saying it will," Blaine said, crawling forward to hold Kurt's hands. "And I'm not asking you to start introducing me as 'Cleo's other father' tomorrow, but I am saying that I want to...get to know her better, I guess. I want to walk her to school when you have to work early, or tuck her into bed when you fall asleep on the sofa because you've had a long day at work."
"I'm sorry," Kurt sobbed, really breaking down as he pulled his knees up to his chest. "I'm sorry, I just...she's everything, Blaine. Even though she's biologically mine, she's the only reminder I have that Ethan was real, and it absolutely terrifies me to think that one day he's going to be replaced."
"He's never going to be replaced, Kurt," Blaine said. "Never."
"But he is," Kurt pointed out. "At least to Cleo. She won't remember all the nights he sung her to sleep, or know how head over heels in love with her he was. He's never going to be able to teach her how to ride a bike, or hold her when she goes through her first break up. He's going to be practically non-existent to her, and I hate the thought of that."
"Don't let him become non-existent then. Make sure you always tell her stories about how she had the most amazing daddy in the world, who loved her more than anything."
"I want him back," Kurt cried, falling easily into Blaine's embrace when he enveloped him in a hug. "It's been nearly two years and I still miss him so, so much."
"I know," Blaine whispered, kissing the top of Kurt's head. "I promise you it will get easier, but only if you let yourself accept it."
Apparently Kurt fell back asleep after that, because he found himself waking up in an empty bed, the sound of Blaine's singing and Cleo's little giggles filling the apartment alongside what sounded like a Disney soundtrack.
He climbed out of bed and made his way to his bedroom door, opening it and leaning against the door frame, smiling softly.
Blaine was dancing around the living room with Cleo (Kurt was going to kill Blaine for letting her stay in her pyjamas past midday) and singing at the top of his lungs. Cleo seemed to be enjoying herself thoroughly, laughing loudly as Blaine span her around under his arm several times.
"Daddy!" She exclaimed excitedly when she spotted him watching the pair, running over to Kurt and jumping into his arms when he bent down and opened them up for her.
Kurt looked up while he hugged Cleo tightly, smiling mutually at Blaine.
'I love you,' he mouthed, closing his eyes happily when Blaine did the same back.