Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter, nor will I ever own it.

Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews! I absolutely loved all of your input. I've decided what course I'm going to go with my story, but you'll have to wait and find out what I decided! Don't worry; you won't have to wait very long. It will be a little obvious! Please keep up with the reviews! I'll write faster with the motivation of your reviews. So here is chapter three! I hope you enjoy it!

{ always }

Begin Again
Chapter Three

Severus' POV

For the next three days, Severus would make his way back to headquarters with a pepper-up potion, a fever reducer and some fruit for Lily. He would stay with her for no more than ten or fifteen minutes, but Severus found himself looking forward to those few minutes. While Lily was still withdrawn and nervous, he could always see the slight sparkle in her eyes when he opened the door to reveal himself. He was no closer to figuring out how to get Lily out then he was when he first found out she had been captured. He didn't know how he was going to get her past the wards without the Dark Lord noticing. Pacing his study, Severus knew he had to do something drastic, something that no one expected. He knew he was going to have to go to Dumbledore. He could let them know about the Dark Lord's plan to attack their headquarters. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed heavily. It had to be done. He sat down in his chair at his desk and pulled out a quill and parchment. This was for Lily. He would risk everything for her. With that thought in his mind, Severus dipped his quill in his ink and began to write. It didn't take long for Severus to get the words out, and once the letter was done, he cast a charm on the parchment so that only Dumbledore would be able to read it.

He walked towards his window with the parchment in hand and tied it to the leg of his eagle owl, "Take this to Albus Dumbledore."

The owl hooted softly and flew out of the open window. Now all Severus had to do was wait. This was easier said than done, of course. He had already visited Lily today and he wasn't going to risk missing Dumbledore's reply or getting caught with Lily. He tried to read a rare book about potions, but he found he couldn't concentrate and he went back to pacing, his mind racing. He needed the Order's help to get Lily out. He couldn't risk it by himself. He couldn't risk Lily's life; he could care less about his own. Severus slumped down on the couch in his study and didn't even realize when his eyes started to close. He was jerked out of his uneasy sleep a few hours later when he heard a tapping on the window. He rubbed his eyes and looked up, seeing his eagle owl waiting for him. He tripped over himself as he rushed to get the window open and hissed in pain. He had banged his knee against his desk, not that it mattered. He gave his eagle owl a few treats to nibble on and took the piece of parchment that was tied around his leg.

Meet me at The Hog's Head in Hogsmade as soon as you get this letter.

It was short and to the point. Severus wasted no time. He grabbed his cloak and threw it over his shoulders, drawing the hood up to cover his face and apparated to Hogsmade. The sleepy little village was just how he remembered it. Snow covered the ground and it was quiet. It was a weekday so all of the students were still up at the castle. Severus shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way towards the far end of the village where the Hog's Head was located. He could hear the crunch of the snow under his feet and the slight huff that his breath made as he exhaled. It didn't take him too long to get to the Hog's Head and when he entered, he looked around for Dumbledore's tell-tale silver beard and hair. It didn't take long for Severus to spot the old man, who beckoned him to a private room near the back. Severus followed him warily and shut the door behind them both. Before Dumbledore said anything to him, he took out his wand and waved it around, muttering a few protection spells. He sat down in one of the cozy arm chairs and indicated for Severus to sit across from him. Severus took off his cloak and hung it on one of the pegs on the wall before sitting across from his old headmaster.

"Severus, it's good to see you again," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

"Likewise, Professor," Severus replied.

"Please, please, Severus. You're a grown man now, call me Albus."

"Very well… Albus," Severus said after a slight pause.

"Your letter seemed rather urgent. What can I help you with?" Dumbledore asked.

"I know where Lily Evans is being kept."

Dumbledore raised a silver eyebrow and looked at Severus over his half-moon spectacles, "And you know this because you're a Death Eater."

Severus winced when it was said out loud, "Yes, I am, but I don't want to be. It was a stupid decision. They tortured Lily for information. They know where your Headquarters are and plan to attack it in exactly four days' time."

"What is it you want from me, Severus?"

"I want you to help me get Lily out," Severus articulated.

"And what will you do for me?" Dumbledore propped his elbows up on his knees and linked his fingers together, staring intently at the man before him.

"I gave you information about the attack!" Severus nearly shouted.

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes but we expected this, we always switch Headquarters when one of ours gets captured."

Severus sat back, dumbfounded. Was Dumbledore just going to let one of his own die? By the hands of Death Eaters? How was he more concerned with rescuing Lily than the man before him? What did Dumbledore expect him to do? He couldn't just give up the Dark Lord, he didn't even know if that was possible. The man was so powerful he would probably just wave his wand around and people would die at his feet. If that was what Dumbledore wanted then he would have to find a way to do it subtly.

"What do I need to do?" Severus asked, bracing himself.

"When next year's term starts, I'm going to need a new potions professor," Dumbledore stated off-handedly, "I want you to fill that position."

"Me? Why?"

Dumbledore leaned close to Severus, "Voldemort wants someone to keep an eye on me, you will fill that position for him while being my spy."

"You want me to betray the Dark Lord?" Severus asked slowly.

"Yes," Dumbledore stated simply.

"If I do this," Severus began, "You'll help me rescue Lily? You'll keep her safe afterwards?"

"I will do whatever it takes to keep Lily from harm," Dumbledore promised.

Severus took a moment to think about it before he nodded, "Then I'll do it."

{ always }

James' POV

It had been nearly a month since Lily had disappeared. James was growing more and more frantic as the days ticked by and there was no sign of her. Partly because he was worried sick about her, and partly because if he didn't find her soon, the love potion he had been giving her would wear off. James knew it was wrong, but he knew it was the only way to make Lily love him. She had been so obsessed with that damn snake in school! When they got in their big fight, James took his chance. Ever since their first date, he had been slipping her a bit of love potion and once she was under his spell, he convinced her that Snivellus was someone she shouldn't be around and when the greasy bastard came crawling back to her, she turned him down hard. It was beautiful. He had made sure to use small doses at first so it wouldn't be obvious and now he can get by with one large dose once a month.

James had been pacing in the living room of the re-located Headquarters when the door opened and Dumbledore strode in, followed by none other than Snivellus. James gave an outraged cry and whipped out his wand, pointing it at his childhood enemy, "What the hell is he doing here, Professor?!"

"Severus is here to help us," Dumbledore said, placing his hand on James' wrist and lowering his wand, "He has found your dear Lily."

"He was probably the one that captured her!" James spat.

"Actually, Potter," Snivellus sneered, "I found her three days ago and I've been healing her wounds and making sure she has food. What have you been doing to help her?"

"You son of a bitch!" James yelled and launched himself towards Snivellus.

James didn't get very far. With a quick flick of his wand, Dumbledore had James immobilized, "James. Severus is here to help us; if you want to get Lily back then you need to control yourself. Now I'm going to reverse the spell, if you try to hurt Severus again, you won't be part of the rescue group."

Dumbledore released the spell and James glared at Snivellus, clenching his fists together. He was glad that Lily had been found, but he was nervous that it was too late. With Snivellus around, the love potion might have worn off faster than James had originally anticipated. He knew that the more a person was around the person they had truly loved before they started taking the love potion, it would wear off quicker. That was something James didn't want to happen. He didn't want to lose Lily to Snivellus of all people, not when they had been so close to getting married! He growled low in his throat as he followed Dumbledore and the snake into the dining room where other members of the Order were waiting. It was obvious that they were weary of the Death Eater, but it was also obvious that they had heard the exchange between the three men in the living room. James sat down between Sirius and Remus, crossing his arms across his chest and continuing to glare at Snivellus.

"Severus has agreed to turn spy for us if we help him get Lily out of the clutches of the Death Eaters," Dumbledore stated.

There was a tense silence in the room that was broken by Alice, "You know where Lily is?"

Snivellus turned to Alice and nodded slowly, "I found her a few days ago in the dungeons of Death Eater Headquarters."

"So how are we going to get her out?" Alice asked.

"Voldemort is planning to attack our old Headquarters in four days' time. Severus is going to show us where their Headquarters is so that while they're out raiding where they think we will be, we will actually be taking their Headquarters by force and getting Lily out," Dumbledore explained.

"And how do we know this isn't a trap?" James growled.

"Because I trust Severus."

That shut everyone up. If Dumbledore said he trusted someone then it was in your best interest not to argue with him. For the next two hours, they went over their plan of attack. Snivellus agreed to bring the wards down once most of the Death Eaters were gone and would send a patronus to let them know when it was okay to apparate there. Snivellus would have to fight with the Death Eaters to make it look like he had nothing to do with it. James thought maybe he could find a way to take care of the bastard in the middle of the fighting. It would solve all of his problems. Snivellus made them a rough layout of the house and where the dungeon was located and which cell Lily was in. After Lily was out and safe, then everyone would get out before the rest of the Death Eaters and Voldemort himself came back. Snivellus would follow a few hours afterwards. Once the plan was set and all the details hashed out, Dumbledore lead Snivellus out of Headquarters.

James turned to Sirius, "I don't trust him."

"It's not our job to trust him," Remus said tiredly, "That's Dumbledore's job. We just have to worry about getting Lily out safe."

James wanted to snap at Remus, but he was right. The sooner they got Lily out of there, the sooner he could resume giving her the love potion and the sooner they could get married. Snivellus would be out of the picture again and everything would be perfect.

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Severus' POV

The next day when Severus returned to Death Eater Headquarters, he felt out the wards to see how much magic he was going to have to exercise to bring the wards down. They were powerful wards indeed, but not put up by the Dark Lord himself so he wouldn't have to use as much energy as he had originally anticipated. He was going to have to bring them down from the inside so no one would know they were being torn down. When he was finished with that, he made his way down to the dungeons quickly and quietly. Luckily there was hardly anyone around when the Dark Lord wasn't having his big meetings. When he opened the door to the cell Lily was occupying, his heart dropped to his feet. Lily was lying on the ground, motionless. She was much paler than usual and she was covered in blood. He let out a strangled cry and ran to her, falling to his knees next to her prone form. He could tell she was breathing, but it was much too shallow. Her eyes were fluttering wildly behind her lids and her breath rattled in her throat. He sat against the wall and eased her up so she was lying against his chest.

He shook her gently to try and wake her up, "Lily… Lily please wake up."

She let out a soft moan and her head lolled to the side, "Sev?"

"It's me, Lily, you're safe," he whispered, relief washing through him.

Lily whimpered and clutched weakly at his robes, muttering something that was too low for Severus to hear.

"I can't hear you, Lily. Tell me what happened."

"Miscarriage," Lily said in a horrified whisper, "I had a miscarriage. I didn't… I didn't even know."

Severus immediately felt guilty for the happiness he felt at her words. Lily hadn't been defiled or beaten and she had lost Potter's child. He knew he was a horrible person for feeling the way he did, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to get Lily out of here and make up with her. He wanted her to leave Potter and be with him. It was all he had ever wanted since he saw her for the first time at the park by their house. He kept silent and comforted Lily the best he could. He couldn't clean up the blood, the Death Eaters would become suspicious if they came back and she was suddenly clean. He forced her to eat some of the food he brought her and gave her the fever reducer and the pepper-up potion, hoping it would help to ease the ache she felt. He stayed with her longer than he was comfortable with, and when he made to leave, she clung to him desperately.

"Please don't leave me, Sev," she begged.

Severus cupped her face in his hands, "I have to. You know I do. I'll be back tomorrow and the Order is coming to rescue you in three days. Just hold on a little longer for me, Lily."

"No one has tried to save me except for you," Lily moaned, "They won't come!"

"They will," Severus said, "I made sure of it. Just get some rest, I'll be back tomorrow."

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes and her lower lip trembled. Severus wanted nothing more than to capture those trembling lips with his own and assure her that everything would be alright, but he knew it would have to wait. Lily was too fragile. She slowly let go of him and with a quick look behind him, Severus swept from her cell and made his way back to his home. Now he just had to wait.

The next two days passed painstakingly slow. On the third day, Severus prepared himself for the worst. The plan could either go incredibly well or terribly bad. When he got to Headquarters and had the meeting with the other Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, he found out that everyone save himself and three other Death Eaters were to stay behind and guard the Dark Lord's home. He didn't even have to ask to stay behind, the Dark Lord ordered him to. Severus was, after all, a valuable asset to his cause. No one else could make curses and potions the way he did. It wasn't long before the Dark Lord and the rest of the Death Eaters left Headquarters. Severus waited a few moments before excusing himself to an empty room and began taking down the wards. It was slow and difficult, but he managed it without losing too much of his strength. Once the wards were down, he sent his patronus out the back to contact Dumbledore.

He went back into the dining room where the three other Death Eaters were playing exploding snap. He began playing with them and within fifteen minutes of Severus sending out his patronus, there was a loud 'crack!' that came from the front door. The other Death Eaters jumped to their feet, pulling out their wands while Severus stood slowly. He knew what was coming and he wanted to find Potter. Once the Order spilled into the front room, Severus was a little disappointed that Potter wasn't there. He saw Alice, who he would avoid; she was always nice to him in school. There was also Frank Longbottom, the Prewett twins, Alastor Moody and Minerva McGonagall. Severus briefly wondered where Potter, Black and Lupin were. His thoughts were halted when a jet of red light barely missed him; he shook himself and made his way into the fray.

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Lily's POV

Today was the day that Severus said the Order was supposed to rescue her. Even with the food and potions he had been slipping her, she felt sick. No one had bothered her so far that day or the day before and she was thankful. She didn't think she could handle anymore. Her body was incredibly weak and she couldn't stop shaking. She was freezing but sweat had broken out all over her body. There was dried blood crusted on her clothes and her legs. She just wanted out of here. She wanted Severus. Her thoughts were broken when a loud BOOM shook the walls around her. She could hear the muffled cries of spells and heard them as they crashed into the walls and floor above her head. Perhaps Severus was right and they had come for her. The fighting was still going on upstairs when the door to her cell creaked open.

"Lily?"

For some reason, Lily tensed up at the voice. She knew that voice so well. It had comforted her many times in the past two years and she was confused why she didn't want him anywhere near her. The door opened fully and James Potter stood in the doorway. His black hair stood on end and his hazel eyes scanned the room before landing on her prone form. He let out a gasp and rushed towards her. The movement caused Lily to quickly scramble backwards. She didn't know where the rush of strength came from, but she just knew that she didn't want James anywhere near her.

"Did you find her, James?" That voice belonged to Sirius.

"Is she okay?" and that was Remus.

Out of the three, Lily was most relieved to hear Remus. He had always been the logical and soft spoken one of the group. When James tried to get closer to her, she pressed herself into the corner of the room, her eyes darting wildly around her, searching for some sort of escape. He reached out to touch her and Lily slapped his hands away. He was frowning at her and saying something, but she couldn't hear anything over the sound of her own harsh breathing. Sirius and Remus soon came into view and she looked up at Remus beseechingly. He seemed to understand what she wanted and put a hand on James' shoulder.

"She's frightened, James," Remus said softly, "Move back towards the door. I'll get her."

James glared at Remus, but did as his friend told him to and stood at the door with Sirius. Lily was still pressed against the wall. She knew she was safe, but she only wanted Severus. She didn't want anyone else to touch her. Remus pocketed his wand and moved towards her slowly, his hands outstretched. Lily couldn't relax even if she wanted to. She wanted out of this damn cell but she wanted Severus to bring her out. A small sob escaped her lips and she shook her head at Remus. He stopped where he was and she shook violently, trying to hold onto the last of her strength.

"Forgive me, Lily," Remus said sadly as he pulled out his wand, "Dormio."

Lily's eyes suddenly felt very heavy. The energy that was just fizzing through her veins suddenly vanished. Her body relaxed and her head dropped slightly. She fought to keep her eyes open and tried to tell Remus to stay back, but she was just too tired. She fought weakly as Remus gathered her into his arms and he only rocked her slightly and whispered comforting things into her ear. Lily didn't want to be in his arms, but she couldn't fight it, the darkness was rising up and she let it claim her. She fell into a deep sleep as Remus carried her out of the cell and back to safety.

{ always }

Author's Note: TaDa! Chapter Three! What did you think? I wanted Lily's miscarriage to be like her almost letting go of James. I don't particularly care for James, as you can tell. Since this story already doesn't follow canon, I figured I should write it how I want it, without worrying too much about following the story line. Thank you sooo much for your input guys! It really helped me out a lot! If you have any more suggestions, please do not hesitate to share them with me! I have an idea of where I want this story to go and I'd love your feedback! So again, please review and let me know what you think!