Author's Note: Wow! I am absolutely amazed at the influx of reviews that I've gotten for the last chapter! I really loved all of your input and I took it all into account! Even though everyone pretty much had the same answer. Regardless of whether or not Lily actually drank the potion, there wouldn't really be any James and Lily action since, as most of you said, a lot of people know about James giving her a love potion. So it would be nipped in the bud rather quickly. While Sirius is one of my favorite characters, I think that he loves James to a fault and wouldn't hesitate to do anything that James asked him to do. So I'm not trying to bash on Sirius in this fic… I just think it is part of his character. Also, the aversion that Lily feels towards James is the same feelings she had in school. Since the love potion is leaving her system, her feelings before taking it are going back to what they were! Anyways… onto chapter five!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter, nor will I ever own it!

{ always }

Begin Again
Chapter Five

Severus' POV

Severus had stayed with Lily out in the gardens for a few hours. Thankfully there were no more interruptions from Potter. He didn't touch her again after he cupped her cheek and Lily didn't ask for it. Severus had to admit that he was a little disappointed, but he wasn't going to push her. They talked quietly about various things, mostly avoiding anything to do with James or Severus being a Death Eater. When the sun started to go down, it was obvious that Lily was tired and so Severus stood, holding his hand out to Lily. She began to wring her hands together and Severus could see the fear in her eyes. He dropped his hand and took a step back, waiting for Lily to get up on her own. Once she was standing, she gave him a sheepish smile and began to walk back into the house. Severus followed behind her, not too close, but close enough… in case she needed him. They made it back to the room that Lily was staying in without any mishaps and Severus turned to face Lily once outside the door.

"I'll come back tomorrow to visit," he said softly.

Lily nodded before looking up at Severus, her green eyes pleading, "Will you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep?"

Severus couldn't help but notice how vulnerable Lily looked. Her hair was dull, her skin much too pale and her wide eyes were filled with unshed tears. A wave of possessiveness swept through him and it took every ounce of his strength to keep his hands to himself. He wanted nothing more than to pull this fragile woman into his arms and make sure she was safe from everything. Severus nodded once and Lily smiled slightly, one corner of her lips lifting ever so slightly. She opened the door to her room and walked inside, Severus following closely on her heels. Lily immediately climbed into the bed and Severus noted how content she looked, swathed in the thick blankets. His eyes did a quick sweep around the room, looking for any sort of threats. He noticed a small bottle filled with a purple liquid on the vanity near Lily's bed. He picked up the bottle cautiously and uncorked it, smelling the contents inside. After he was sure it was a dreamless sleep potion, he handed it to Lily. She looked up at him questioningly.

"It's a dreamless sleep potion," Severus explained, "It will help you sleep. Madame Pomfrey probably left it for you."

Lily took the bottle from Severus and drained the contents in one gulp. After handing the bottle back to him, Lily settled down against the pillows, a content sigh escaping her lips. Severus stood by the bed awkwardly for a few seconds before Lily gestured to the chair next to the bed. He sat down and rested his hands on the bed by hers. He desperately wanted to take her hand in his, but he didn't think Lily would be open to the action just yet. He knew how much she had relied on his touch while she was held captive, but wasn't sure how she felt about it now that she was safe. He decided to keep his hands to himself unless Lily was the one to initiate contact. It wasn't long before the potion took effect and Lily drifted off to sleep. Severus stayed where he was and watched Lily for a moment. The lines had smoothed from her face and she looked so innocent. It was completely different from the pained expression she had been wearing at Headquarters. He moved to brush a stray strand of hair from her face but froze when he heard the door open. He turned slowly and came face to face with Remus.

"Severus!" Remus exclaimed, "I didn't realize you'd still be in here."

"Lily asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep," Severus intoned.

"Ah."

The room went quiet and Severus was about to step around Remus to leave the room when the other man grabbed his arm. Severus' eyes flashed and he sneered at Remus, yanking his arm away. He was about to tell off the Gryffindor when Remus held his hand up to silence him.

Remus took a deep breath before speaking, "I know that James and Sirius were horrible to you in school. I also know that I should have done more to stop them. I'm sorry for that, but I would like us to put aside our differences because I need your help."

"With what?" Severus narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Remus.

"Lily. I need your help to keep Lily safe."

"Lily is safe," Severus said slowly.

"From Death Eaters, yes," Remus walked further into the room and started pacing, "After Lily was rescued and brought to Madame Pomfrey, we ran a few tests on her to make sure there wouldn't be any lasting physical effects. We also made sure they didn't put some sort of tracer into her blood. We found faint traces of love potion in her blood, Severus."

Severus was quiet for a few seconds as he absorbed the information, "Are you telling me that Potter has been feeding her a love potion?"

"Since their first date," Remus confirmed, "It makes sense! You know how she felt about James and we all knew how she felt about you! Then suddenly she's dating James and refusing to make up with you! Didn't you ever wonder why that was?"

As Remus spoke, Severus' anger rose. Potter had ruined everything! The only reason that Severus began looking more into the Dark Arts was because Lily had left him. Without her, he had no one to pull him away from the edge. He dove straight into that stupid club as soon as she shunned his apology. Everything could have been different! He might not be a Death Eater, he might have told Lily how he felt about her… bloody hell, he could have married her! Severus clenched his fists at his sides and ground his teeth together.

"Does she know?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Not yet," Remus said sadly, "I told James that if he didn't tell her in the next few days then I would, but James and Sirius have been locked away all day. They're planning something. I know it."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stay with her," Remus said simply, "I know you can't always be here, so while you're gone myself or Madame Pomfrey will be watching her."

"If either of them get anywhere near her," Severus practically snarled, "I will hex them into oblivion."

"Don't worry, if Lily starts getting cozy with James, we'll know it's a love potion and we'll move Lily to a different safe house," Remus assured him.

Severus nodded, placated for the time being, "Very well. I'll be back in the morning. Do not leave her side."

With that said, Severus swept from the room, his robes billowing behind him. He needed to break something. Preferably James Potter's face.

{ always }

Lily's POV

For the next week, Lily was never alone. Severus was always there when she woke up and stayed until she went to sleep. If Severus had to leave for whatever reason, Remus would keep her company. Like today. Severus had to go out for a few hours and Remus had gladly swooped in to sit with her. She wasn't nearly as comfortable around Remus and he realized that. So whenever Severus would leave, Remus would bring her outside to sit in the shade of the trees and would watch her from the patio. That was her current situation. She had brought a book out with her to read, but she had completely forgotten about it, too focused on the thoughts running through her head. She was thankful for Severus' company and she missed him terribly while he was gone. They had been getting closer the last few days and yesterday it was like something in her shattered. She no longer wanted anything to do with James Potter. She was more than a little confused at what she was feeling. How could she go from being completely and totally in love with him just a little over a month ago to feeling like she was back at Hogwarts and James was an arrogant toerag? If she hadn't have been captured by Death Eaters, she would be married to him! The thought caused her to shudder. Her feelings for Severus had also grown rapidly in the last week. Her mind was a jumbled mess and she had no idea what to do about it. Lily was brought out of her thoughts abruptly by a commotion inside. She could hear yelling and things crashing. Every so often, she would see flashes of color in the windows. She looked back at Remus and saw him straining in the chair, his knuckles white.

"Go help, Remus," Lily said, "I'll be fine."

He gave her a torn look before standing. "Don't leave," he said and then he was gone.

Lily was perfectly happy to stay right where she was. She didn't know who was fighting, and for a split second she was worried that Death Eaters had found their Safe House and had come back for her. She brought her knees to her chest and hugged herself tightly. She didn't want to be anywhere near those spells. The flashes of light had stopped but she could still hear the shouting. Lily turned her attention away from the house and tried to tune out the noise, going back to trying to sort out her feelings.

"Hey Evans."

Lily let out a strangled gasp and whipped her head around, searching for the sound of the voice. She found Sirius standing behind her, leaning against one of the columns that held the porch roof up. He was holding two steaming mugs of tea in his hands and seemed strangely unaffected by the fighting that was going on inside. Lily could suddenly feel the winter's chill, even though the wards prevented the snow and the cold from getting into the gardens. With a shiver, Lily wrapped her arms around her middle again and stared at Sirius, waiting for him to make the first move. With a shrug, he stepped off the porch, moving closer to Lily, causing her to scoot backwards.

Sirius let out an exasperated sigh, "I'm not going to hurt you."

Lily ignored his comment but continued to watch his progress towards her. She knew that Sirius wouldn't hurt her, but after what she had been through, the only person she trusted to be close to her was Severus and he was currently nowhere to be seen. The shouting from the house became a dull roar in the back of her mind as Sirius sat down next to her. He offered her a cup of tea and she stared at it for a second before taking it from his outstretched hand. She scooted further away from him and let the warmth seep through her fingers. She could feel Sirius watching her and she shifted nervously under his gaze. She hadn't heard anything from James or Sirius since the day that they rescued her and she was curious as to why Sirius had come to see her before James. She honestly didn't want to see James but he should want to see her, right? Shaking her head slightly, Lily focused on the cup of tea in her hands, brought it to her lips and inhaled the sweet scent of berries. It was her favorite tea and she was about to take a sip when she heard a strangled cry from the porch. She gasped when her tea flew out of her hands and when she turned to follow its progress, she found Severus holding her cup in his hands. He was muttering to himself and waving his wand over the cup.

"Sev… what's-" Lily was cut off when Severus looked up at her.

Her hand flew to her mouth once she got a good look at him. His hair was mused, sticking out at odd angles and smoking slightly. Cuts and gashes littered his exposed skin and his robes were singed in various places. His dark eyes were gleaming with an almost frantic emotion Lily couldn't place. After a few minutes, a light pink smoke rose out of the cup Sirius had given Lily. She felt Sirius stiffen beside her and cast a sideways glance at him, about to ask him what that meant but she was distracted by the anger that seemed to be rolling off of Severus in waves. He seemed frozen in place for what seemed like an eternity before his eyes snapped towards Sirius, glittering dangerously.

{ always }

Severus' POV

For the last week, Severus and Remus had kept a close eye on Lily. They had talked about how they would approach the subject with her and how she might take it. Although Lily seemed to be less herself since her capture, Severus knew she wouldn't take the news well. He knew Lily well enough to know that she would be absolutely furious that Potter had taken her free will away. If there was one thing Lily hated more than anything else, it was to be forced to do something she didn't want to do. He had left Lily in Remus' capable hands for a few hours since he had a meeting to go to and was eager to make his way back to her. Lily was slowly becoming more comfortable with him and had expressed less and less interest in Potter the last few days. When he opened the door to the safe house, he was met with none other than Potter's face. Severus sneered at him and tried to shove past him, but James pushed him backwards, pulling out his wand.

"Get out of my way, Potter," Severus said through clenched teeth.

Potter only smirked and lifted his wand higher, "Why do you think that someone like Lily would ever be interested in someone like you?"

"Unlike you, Potter," Severus mocked, "I have never had to resort to such desperate measures to win Lily's attention."

"You honestly believe that she was your friend for any other reason than the fact that she pitied you?" Potter laughed, "She would always say such terrible things about you."

Severus clenched his fists at Potter's comment, but his face remained stoic. He wouldn't give Potter the satisfaction in knowing that his words affected him. Potter was a bully and he would always be a bully. He had been hopelessly in love with a girl who wanted nothing to do with him. By using a love potion on Lily, Severus could only view him as dirt. He was arrogant and pathetic and Severus wouldn't bend to his will. He sent Potter a scathing glare and tried to move past him once more. Potter shoved him backwards and this time Severus was slammed against the door. His shoulder ached and he winced slightly in pain. Potter laughed and advanced on him.

"It doesn't matter what happened in school," he said, "Lily will be mine and you'll never see her again."

The thought of losing Lily again set a fire through his veins and he whipped out his wand. "You will not take her from me!" Severus yelled and snapped his wand up towards Potter, a jet of red light streaming from the end of his wand.

Potter cast a shield charm just before the spell hit him and a duel quickly ensued. Severus wasn't even sure which spells he was using, he just knew that he was screaming. All of the hatred, anger and humiliation he had bottled up inside of him burst out of him and he threw every ounce of his emotions at Potter. This was the man who had ruined his life. He made his school days a living hell, he had taken away the women he loved and forced her to love him against her will. Potter was an entitled child and deserved none of his mercy. Severus would make sure that he paid for the years he had stolen from Lily. Severus had barely noticed when Remus came into the hallway, or when Potter fell to the ground and failed to get up. Severus advanced on him and stopped only because Remus had gotten in his way.

"Move, Remus," Severus growled.

"He's not worth it," Remus said, "I'll take care of him. Go make sure Lily is okay."

That snapped Severus out of whatever state he was in. If both he and Remus were inside, then no one was outside with Lily. He gave Remus a curt nod before sweeping past both him and Potter to head outside. He stopped short once he was on the porch. Sirius Black was sitting much too close to Lily and she had a steaming mug of tea in her hands. Black was watching Lily with an intense look on his face, as if he was non-verbally urging her to drink the tea. Severus watched as Lily's perfect lips fit around the lid of the cup and he let out a strangled scream before she could tilt the cup back. His wand was in his hand and the cup was flying towards him before he even realized it. Potter had created a god damned distraction! So that Black could sneak to Lily unnoticed and slip her the love potion. Merlin, how could Severus had been so stupid! While Severus knew that they wouldn't have been able to get Lily out of the Safe House before anyone noticed, he knew that if Lily had drank the potion then Severus would have to wait for it to be out of her system once more… and he was so tired of waiting. He began muttering the incantation to find out if there was a love potion in the tea, his hands shaking slightly.

"Sev… what's-"

Severus looked up at Lily and watched her cover her mouth with her hands, stifling a gasp. He wondered what he looked like after his duel with Potter, but he couldn't bring himself to care. A pink smoke rose out of the cup and Severus froze. There had been love potion in Lily's tea. Potter had distracted everyone with his antics just so Black could get the tea to Lily with no hassle. Lily had been about to drink the tea. Anger tore through Severus' veins and he looked up at Sirius, throwing the cup on the ground in the process. He heard the satisfying shatter of the china and then made his way towards Black. Before he could train his wand on the bastard, Lily was standing. She had wrapped her arms around Severus' waist.

"Don't please," Lily whispered, "Please don't fight."

Severus wanted to give in to her touch, to the pleading sound of her voice, but he was just so angry, "Lily you have no idea what he was about to do."

"Then let Dumbledore handle it and tell me," Lily said, tightening her hold on his waist.

Severus wasn't going to let Black go that easily, no matter what Lily said. He was furious and he had to get rid of his anger somehow. He flicked his wand in Black's direction and before he could react, Black was sailing through the air and crashed through one of the windows. He heard Lily's gasp and felt her jump slightly. Severus knew she was probably upset that he reacted so harshly, but once she knew the truth… she would thank him. Before Lily could pull away, Severus wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her hair, nuzzling her neck and inhaling her scent of strawberries and cream. It had been too long since he had touched her like this and he relished in the feel of her body pressed against his. It was only for a moment, though, because Lily was pulling back and moving away from him. His hands dropped heavily to his sides and he looked at his feet so Lily wouldn't see the desperation in his eyes.

"Severus… what happened?" Lily asked, her emerald eyes shining.

With a heavy sigh, Severus sat down, his back against the rough bark of the tree and motioned Lily to sit next to him. She did so slowly and sat close enough so that Severus could reach out and grab her hand if he wanted to. He knew Lily wasn't going to be happy and he wanted to tell her in the easiest way possible… he just didn't know what that was. He stayed silent long enough for Lily to touch his hand softly before pulling away again.

"Potter ambushed me when I came back," Severus started.

"What? Why?"

"As a distraction so Black could slip you a love potion."

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Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait between chapters… but I hope you enjoyed chapter five regardless! I left you a little cliffy… how will Lily react? Let me know what you think! Send me lots of reviews and I promise I will try to get chapter six up faster! Life has been really crazy hectic and I haven't had a lot of time to just sit down and write. I've been writing little bits of the chapter here and there when I'm bored in class and I finally had a moment to put it all down on word to upload it! Don't forget to review!