Harry Potter: Rejection Letters and Triwizard

by Tremor230

A collection of rejection letters and alternative Triwizard Tournament, chapters short and to the point, I don't know if you will find it amusing, I hope you will. Feel free to suggest other crossovers if you wish to see one done, updated whenever a new cross comes up in my mind. Rated M just to be safe. expect OOC, AU and such. don't take seriously, but "Siriusly" Moment. Hiatus.

5. Chapter 5

Harry Potter/ Hellsing crossover

Dear Professor McGonagall,

As for now Mister Potter is under the care of the Hellsing Organization and Her Majesty the Queen, our experts are already helping the young boy develop his magical abilities to better serve the Crown and the Church of England, due to your insistence we were also forced to have the Queen know about the various charms in the last letters you tried to force in Mister Potter's hands so to have him join your school by force.

As per order of Her Majesty, you are hereby forbidden every contact with Harry Potter and the Hellsing Organization, any other letter that will be sent after this that is not an acceptance of this order will be treated as an indirect attack to myself and my men, be advised.

For your interest, our best agent is right now taking care of the 'Dark Lord' your Headmaster seems so fond of, the Royal Family was tired of waiting you wizards to take action and by this time yesterday we had been given free reign on the terrorist group called "Death Eaters", please stay back and do not interfere in our mission, failure to do so will be rewarded with life imprisonment and bounding of the culprit's magic.

With the hope this will be the last time we will write to each other.

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, Member of the Protestant Knights, Leader of the Hellsing Organization.

Aftermath

"What should we do, Albus?" McGonagall asked in worry.

"I'll try to have Cornelius talk with the Prime Minister, surely we'll be able to stress how important Harry is in this war against Tom," the old man answered.

"Ehm...sorry to interrupt..." a young woman with pale skin said, entering the staff room.

"And you are?" Minerva asked.

"Me? AH! I am Seras Victoria, I came here to communicate that the issue with the Death Eaters had been resolved, we have located those..." Seras said, rummaging with her pockets.

"AH! Those 'Soul Containers' and destroyed them, then Master Alucard had personally crippled this "Dark Lord" and brought him in front of Her Majesty the Queen, Sir Integra and the Prime Minister in the Royal Palace, there we had Harry shot him in the head with a hollow-point bullet to secure the criminal's death, as for now your 'prophecy' is fulfilled and once again we request you to keep distance from Mister Potter as he will join our organization once reached the right age to start training," she then added, reading from a piece of paper.

"He-who-must-not-be-named is dead?" Professor Vector asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, personally, it was nice to go on a little hunt after thirty years of absence," a man with a wide red hat said as he 'appeared' in an empty seat with a fanged smile.

"By the way, your Potion Master was also captured and imprisoned for his being part of the Death Eaters, his punishment was switched to life prison instead of death penalty due to his helping as a spy," Seras added.

"Severus already paid for his mistakes, prison may be a bit too much," Albus tried saying.

"Orders of the Queen, sir, you can't refute them," Seras answered with a bow.

"She is right, Albus, wizards or not we are still under the Royal Family's court," Minerva answered.

"Good, I have orders from Master Integra to pursue some key elements of the Ministry culprit of corruption and possible possession of forbidden artifacts, with your permission, I'll go retrieve them, I am warning you though, I am authorized to kill whoever will resist arrest, follow Seras and be good," Alucard said, simply blinking away as if he never stood in the room at all.

"What does he mean?" Filius asked.

"The members of the militia known as "Order of The Phoenix" will be questioned by the Prime Minister about its action since the group's foundation, please come with me," Seras said, presenting several pairs of hand-cuffs.

"Can't we just talk about this?" Albus pleaded as the magical-suppressing cuffs clicked closed around his hands.

"I am sorry but no, you will also respond for abandonment of minor, endangering of children, theft of a Class-A Magical Artifact know as 'Philosopher Stone', collaboration with the criminal Grindewald before the man's arrest, imprisonment of an innocent man without a trial and much more," Seras answered, her tone fully in the 'Police-girl' territory.

"Oh...Bugger," Albus moaned as he was not-so-gently dragged out of the school.

/888/ /888/ /888/

Alternative version, sorry, I couldn't resist

Dear Goat Fucker and Pussy-Cat woman,

I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're curious about the frequency of which I've sent these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey. Which I will then proceed to have sex with.

That's right.

I'm going to FUCK the Fear turkey.

Follow me TheCrimsonFuckr!

Sincerely, Alucard.

Ps. I like the boy, he is funny and repaired my Seventy-Inch Plasma Screen TV with his Magic so he stays! And the police-girl with the big titties likes him too, probably maternal stuff kicking-in or something like that.

Aftermath

"Well, he made abundantly clear that he won't give up young Harry," Albus said, watching the other professors trying valiantly to not being submerged by the tidal-wave of letters that had reached the staff room's ceiling.

"You don't say..." Minerva answered sarcastically, ignoring Filius squeaking shriek as a new avalanche of paper crashed on him, covering the minute professor under several meters of letters.