Harry Potter rejection letter. (I blame Phoenix Warehouse Productions for this, You gave me this idea so you will share the blame! XD)
Dear Professor McGonagall?
My dear Deputy Headmistress, I admit that at first I thought that this letter was coming from a rather unexpected prank from my trusty helper in dealing with the school, but after having tested your letter with several spells, aided by both Goblin AND Professor Flitwick, I had to admit it to be perfectly legit and coming (to my utmost surprise I have to admit) from a Parallel Dimension in from which I come from.
I know this may sound as something impossible to believe, but I will explain at the best of my abilities.
In the night I was abandoned to the Dursley family, as per the investigation our version of Albus Dumbledore did through my memories, the blood wards decided that for my protection I needed to be send as far as possible from the Wizarding World AND the Muggle World, the instance happened to coincide with our Albus enacting an experiment with old rituals of protection, resulting in my arrival in the last days of the War against Grindelwald, since then, Albus Dumbledore had been my father-figure and family, he also likes to admit that it was his wish to save his "Son" that helped him to finally defeat Dark Lord Gellert once and for all.
Truly, Love is one of the most powerful Powers in Magic.
But I am digressing, I am afraid that I won't be able to come back to my original world as I am too old for starters, I will turn forty-eight next month, but I am just now getting acquainted with being the new Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, one of the youngest hence my initial believing my dear colleagues were trying to prank me into enrolling as a student instead of professor.
But, after much of what muggles call "Brainstorming" me, our version of Professor McGonagall and several others came to the conclusion that a meeting in my office would help to better clarify this curious series of events, please note that should the letter return as we expect, you will find details to enact a ritual that will open a portal towards our world, in the "Hog's head" back to be precise so to not attract attention, we will drop down the protections against the ritual so to make it work so do not worry about others joining us.
Hoping this letter and attached instructions reaches you and wishing you all a wonderful day, I here close my letter.
Sincerely Yours,
Harold James Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, Head of the Wizengamot, Order of Merlin First-Class.
The Afterwards -
Shock, utter, absolute, complete shock; that was what reigned in the silence following the reading by Minerva in the staff room of, apparently, Their version of Hogwarts.
"Well...I guess we can try and see how things are on the other-side...the whole ritual seems legit and has my very hand-writing all-over it, and the spells we tried recognized the parchment coming from our own reserves," Filius Flitwick said with a nervous chuckle.
"I have...another version of me adopted Mister Potter?" Albus said incredulous.
"Apparently," Minerva said.
"Then what should we do?" Pomona Sprout asked.
"I will go there, I need to see this with my own eyes," Albus answered, shocking the others.
"ALBUS!" Minerva said in horror.
"Then I'll go with you, at least you'll have someone covering your back," the stern woman added with narrowed eyes.
"I'll come too, Merlin forbid you two go there alone, you would fall for whatever trap you might walk in the other world," Severus Snape said with a sneer.
"I will blatantly ignore that veiled insult to my abilities and accept your help, let give start to this Ritual, Filius," Albus said with a gentle smile.
"It shouldn't be difficult..." the minute professors mumbled while reading.
One PAINFUL Ritual Later – Headmaster's Office entrance -
The still groaning trio was walking towards the gargoyles that defended the entrance to the office when a well known voice rang behind them.
"Who are you and why are you trying to pass for Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape? I won't even comment on the blatant failure in dressing or the using of Albus Dumbledore's identity, just answer me before I alert the Aurors!" the voice asked with barely restrained anger.
"Hagrid?" Minerva asked in surprise, especially at not hearing his usual garbled way of speaking or at seeing him dressed in "proper" robes befitting a professor.
"It's Professor Rubeus Hagrid to you, Professor of Care for Magical Creatures ever since my graduation here at Hogwarts AND my Mastering in the field," the Half-giant answered with narrowed eyes.
"...And Author of one of the most famous series about the care of Dragons," another voice said, this time of another McGonagall that appeared right behind him.
"Oh, Merlin!" the 'Original' Minerva said with wide eyes.
"You must be the 'Peculiar Guests' the Headmaster was talking about...really, Harold should have addressed the whole staff about this," Other-Minerva said with a sigh.
"So you made that Dunderhead Headmaster? Clearly this place fell from grace with that id-GWACK!" Snape said with a disgusted tone before the giant-sized hand of Hagrid grabbed his neck to slam him against the wall.
"I would keep my tongue in check, Slimy Git! I owe to Albus Dumbledore my entering Hogwarts and to Headmaster Harrold my being cleared from the charges for Mirtye's death and my continuing my studies until reaching my dream to be a Professor here, DO NOT challenge my patience!" the huge man said with a deep growl.
"Okay!" the Potion Master squeaked.
"Hagrid, forgetting that I always told you to call me 'Harry' since we are friends, thing that I wish Minerva here as well would do, we are clearly in presence of a VERY different Severus Snape, we don't know what happened for him to dislike me like this, but I guess he has a very good reason, and for all that is worth, I hope my excuses would be at least considered," A young man said while poking out of the door.
"Sorry, Headm...Harry, but it's a pain that still run deep," Hagrid said with a sigh while passing an hand through his hair.
"It's okay, my friend. But do not let this little misunderstanding ruin our meeting, come! I already enlarged my Office so our guests will be able to meet the other Professors as well, I am curious about the differences about our worlds," Harry said with a smile identical to the one used by Original-Albus.
"By the way, the git here hates you because James stole Lily from him...even if the Potion Master here called her 'Mudblood' when they were kids, destroying their friendship," Hagrid answered, shocking the Dimensional travelers.
"What did I tell you about using Legilimency on others without permission?" Harry asked with crossed arms.
"...I was just curious..." the Half-giant muttered while looking down.
"Seriously, Hagrid," Other-McGonagall said, rolling her eyes in desperation.
"I did not even notice..." Snape said.
"I am an half-giant, our minds react differently with mind magic," the huge professor answered.
A little walk later and the Guests found themselves in the VERY large office of the Headmaster, Fawkes and a pair of howls were on a near perch and the Sorting Hat was on a corner of the desk.
The most surprising thing was seeing a Painting of Albus behind the seat where Harry stood.
"Oh my! I seem very much alive in that other dimension," Other-Albus said with a gentle smile.
"Indeed I am," Original-Dumbledore said with a nod.
"Orange-Drops?" Harry asked.
"Orange? Why not lemon?" Minerva asked.
"Never liked those, I was almost happy when the factory got destroyed during the War, after that, they never bothered re-building it and so none can be found, not a great loss if I have to say," the painting answered.
"Oh...ohhh!" Original-Albus moaned while dropping on his seat, shaking in horror while feeling light-headed.
"Definitely an Alternative Dimension," Snape muttered.
"Here we are, Headmaster," Professor Flitwick said as he and Pomona Sprout entered the Office.
"May I present you Filius Flitwick, our esteemed Herbology Professor and Pomona Sprout, our Charms Professor, Heads of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff respectively," Harry said presenting the minute Professor still covered in dirt and the more lean woman dressed in elegant robes.
"Sorry my appearances, I was just finishing planning my lessons when I was called," Filius said with an apologetic smile.
"The classes for the Duelling Club are ready, Headmaster, the new wards around the mats works, those and the walls are completely anti-injuries and cushioned," Pomona said with a proud smile.
"Wonderful! I knew that the Board would have accepted our request!" Harry said with an happy smile.
"Incredible, in our world Pomona is the plant expert," Original-Albus said in awe.
"Oh! I almost were as well, but after the third jibe at my being 'plump' I started training and discovered a passion for duelling, from that I started studying charms and took a mastery after Graduation...modestly, I am the three-times World Champion!" Sprout answered with a smug grin.
"Same thing for me, they argued that my being part Goblin would have given me an unfair edge when I started training for being a Master Duellist, Herbology was my second-best in terms of grades and...well I took a Mastery in both, the rest is History I guess," Flitwick answered with a chuckle.
"When I contacted Filius for a job here as a Professor Pomona was already here so he took the other spot, but sometimes they exchange notes since she still has a passion for plants, even if she would never admit that," Other-McGonagall added, making the woman blush in embarrassment.
"Sorry if I am late, Headmaster, but I was arguing with the owner of Flourish&Blots, they tried to say that they had not enough copies of 'Defence Against the Dark Arts: Beginner's guide' for our students, they finally admitted that several Pureblood families tried to buy every copies out of spite," a young man said while entering the Office.
"TOM RIDDLE!" the Dimensional Traveler Albus yelled in horror.
"Yes? Do I know you?" Tom asked with a curious expression.
"Something wrong? Professor Riddle is our DADA Professor, does his counter-part die sometime in your world?" Harry asked.
"NO! Where we come from he is the Dark Lord! Voldemort!" Original-Dumbledore said in shock.
"Who? You mean Lucius Malfoy...HE was Voldemort," Tom answered with hands raised in a placating manner.
"WHAT?!" the trio of Professor yelled.
"I guess an explanation is in order, when young Tom came here to ask for the place as DADA Professor, we were at first shocked at seeing what was a bright an charming student turn into a deformed entity, to my surprise Harold here stunned him and dragged him to the Infirmary, after discovering his use of Horcruxes we tracked them all down and fused them back into his original body," the Painting said.
"An Horcux is created by killing an innocent, an Evil act that tears the soul apart, if the one that create an Horcux repents from what he did, he is permitted a last chance to 'repair' their soul, but it's a VERY painful ordeal as one has to feel all the pain and anguish the loved ones of their victim felt," Harry explained.
"At the beginning even with all the soul parts back inside my body I was still not ashamed of my past deeds, so they forced my hand, they used a Curse to force me into reliving through nightmares what I did and feel my victims pain and sorrow...it took me one year but in the end it had been too much, I recognized my mistakes and asked for forgiveness with all my heart, when I felt that pain again I thought the torture was about to star anew, but when I woke up I saw that I was back into looking human and with my soul whole...ever since then I worked hard to be a better person, I love being a Professor! Had I know before how this feels, I don't know if I would have started my whole campaign about domination," Tom said with an ashamed expression.
"And where does Lucius fit in all this?" Original-Snape asked.
"He felt betrayed and took the 'Name' Voldemort for himself to start his own reign of terror...his first act was killing my wife and daughter," Other-Severus answered while entering the Office, his hair not greasy and a sad expression on his face.
"I guess saying that he is Severus Snape and our Potion Professor would be useless," Harry said with a sigh.
"Your wife? Who was she?" Original-Snape asked.
"Who else if not Lily Evans? When Harry arrived here I hated him on sight because he looked like that insufferable Potter, but when I saw Lily's eyes on him and knew him better, well, I can not hold a grudge towards someone did his best to save my family," Other-Severus answered with a sigh.
"My greatest regret is not reaching you sooner after the wards collapsed, that order of Merlin is a constant painful reminder of my failure," Harry said while looking at his hands.
"Both you and Albus were fighting against Lucius, Nott, Goyle, Avery and Bellatrix with her brothers, at least my daughter's death had not be used to create his first Horcrux, you almost died to stop him," Other-Severus answered.
"I did die, somehow I had a piece of Tom inside my head that Lucius destroyed with his Killing Curse...unfortunately Father had not something similar to let him return," the young man answered.
"What Happened?" Original-Albus asked.
"When I saw my son being killed I flew in what one can only call blind rage, I destroyed Bellatrix and the others before battling against Lucius, finally killing him after a long battle, even if I was happy to see Harry get up, my body had been too weak to keep on after the strain in my Magical Core, but I died with a smile on my face at seeing him well," the Portrait said with a sigh himself.
"Ever since then I lived with the Headmaster, both keeping the other company after our respective losses...if only I could stop Potter," Other-Severus said with a furious frown.
"I would trust James with my life, Severus. When things started spiraling out of control with Lucius, he was the one to alert us of the attack to your house on Spinner's End." Harry answered.
"Potter?" Original-Snape asked.
"Our History of Magic Professor, he had been one of the original Death Eaters when Tom was the Dark Lord, when he finally understood his error he tried to redeem himself by acting as our spy," the young Headmaster answered.
"Good job he did!" Other-Severus hissed angrily.
"You will need to let that grudge go before it will consume you, Lily and Daisy wouldn't like to see you destroy yourself like that,"
"I know, but I can't help thinking that somehow that man is the one responsible of the attack," the Alternative Potion Master said.
"Returning to the matter at hand, can you help us defeating our Dark Lord?" Original-Minerva asked.
"We have developed a spell to track down the Horcruxes for our hunt, if your version of Tom used them with this you should be able to find them," Harry answered,
"Thank you," Original-Albus answered.
"Another thing, I don't know yours, but our Wards here had been damaged by some agents of Grindelwald, those that detect Dark Intentions, we had a case of possession that fortunately we averted thanks to them, they will safely expel the spirit from the host and force it to pass over in the Underworld, check yours too, just to be safe, they will appear functioning but in reality they will not activate if there is the need. It had been by mere luck if I happened to check the main stone holding them up and discovered the damages,"
"Thank you, even if I don't think it will be necessary, we will still check, I always said that I would have done that but always forgotten to actually do that," Original-Albus said.
"Old age, yes I know how it feels," the portrait said with a sigh.
"Since we are done here, do you mind giving us a tour of your school? I would like to see if major differences or improvements had been made in your version," Original-Minerva asked.
"I would be honoured, do you want to accompany us?" Harry asked to his Deputy.
"With pleasure, Harry," Other-McGonagall answered.
"Please follow me, and pay attention, we have a special room on the third floor that you should stay away from," the Headmaster said while opening the door for the others.
One Hour Later -
Severus Snape, the Dimensional Traveler one, had been surprised to see the differences of the alternative version of Hogwarts, and slightly hurt to see the pictures his counterpart had of his marriage with Lily, making Snape wonder if things would have been different had he not used that blasted insult on her.
His thoughts stopped when a platinum-haired girl ran past him towards the sealed door on the third floor with a worried expression on her face.
"Dunderheads! They are the same everywhere!" Snape said with a glare as he followed the girl, hoping to stop her from probably killing herself just like the Headmaster had warned him would happen should 'the wrong people' enter there.
"SEVERUS! NO!" Original-Albus yelled as the door closed behind both girl and Potion Professor.
"What Happened?!" Harry asked.
"Our Severus managed to enter the room,"
"Damn it! The Wards must have confused your version for our! Only Professors can enter there to clean afterwards and only when accompanied by Tutors," Harry said, cursing when the door refused to open even for him.
"What's in there?" Original-Minerva asked.
"When I managed to talk the Board of Directors into accepting not 'Fully' human as students wqe had to create special rooms," Harry answered.
"What do you mean?"
"For Vampires we have special dormitories and classes where Sunlight can't enter, for Werewolves we have special rooms where they can spend the full moon after having an heavy dose of Wolfsbane that can open only on the outside so they can't escape and so on," he answered.
"And that room?" Original-Albus asked as shrieks and screams started echoing.
"Veela students...when they reach sixteen years of age they 'Bloom', meaning that their Allure becomes mature enough to influence completely the victim, the downside is that during the 'blooming' the girls become competitive against human girls, amorous with other Veela girls...and 'hungry' with males..." Harry answered with a sigh as an euphoric male scream was heard from inside.
"And how many students are in there?" Original-Minerva asked while swallowing hard.
"Two dozen, whenever one girl is about to 'Bloom' their parents can send her here where we provide a sealed room that will cut-off the Allure from influencing outside, at least if another girl is inside they will be able to...ehm...entertain each other for the full twenty-four hours it will last...I guess that he entered with the girl and the wards did not repel him, we'll have to cover that evident Loop-hole in the protections..." Harry said with a groan.
"So right now Severus..." Original-Albus asked.
"To put it bluntly? He is being fucked to death." Harry answered.
"At least he will die in a painless way," Original-Albus said with a nervous smile.
"Really, Albus? Really?!" Original-Minerva said with an annoyed glare.
"WEEEEEE! YEEEE-AAAH! UUUUUUH! BEST CHAPTER EVER!" Snape could be heard scream in happiness.
He will be found dead the next day with a wide smile not even the strongest spell could remove, and the tale of his death will be source of anger and jealousy for every male of Original-Hogwarts (and by his yelled last request before his last orgasm killed him, the whole thing could be seen written on the Common Rooms' walls, telling in great details HOW the Potion Master had met his end and how many girls shagged him to oblivion, curiously, a thank you note to a mysterious "TR230" could be seen at the end of it, but no-one will ever understand who that person was).
Oh! Abus also vanquished Voldemort thanks to Harry's suggestions, thus fulfilling the Prophecy and giving to the old man the liberty to finally kick Trelawney out of the school, she will end up in a Muggle Television reading tarots, somehow having a discreet success as a result.