Author's Notes: Hello everybody! I wanted to let you know, there will be a lot of quoting from Book 4 Episode 2, "Korra Alone." I know the dialogue is not original and that I don't want to merely plagiarize their words, but I really wanted to tie this in together as much as I can. Thank you for reading! Enjoy! (Also, have you seen the amazing artwork by Bryan K.? It's so wonderful that he released official art for Korrasami! Yay!)
It was a new day. Another dreaded day. Peering through the curtains was the sunlight that hit Korra's eyes. She groaned and finally gave up on the small amounts of sleep she had from last night's thinking.
"... Be grateful for where you are now and the progress that you made…" Tenzin's words echoed through and through Korra's brain.
What progress? I've just now been able to walk properly and finally use my bending after 2 years. What kind of progress is that? And the world? How is the world doing without me? How am I supposed to be some renowned Avatar that's meant to bring balance to the world?
She didn't want to have these thoughts so early in the morning when she already spent time mulling over it just a few hours ago. But she couldn't help but think that she had been a failure to the world. She was merely one Avatar…
Maybe I'm just not cut out for this.
She shook her head and knew that she couldn't just throw it all away. It was her duty to balance good and evil throughout the nations.
Korra sighed, looked at Naga, and gave her a big hug. "I hope you believe in me too, girl," she said with a weak smile.
Korra walked out of her bed and started walking into the dining room of her home. Senna and Tonraq were discussing something quietly, but Korra wasn't paying attention. Her eyes looked so saddened and didn't meet their gaze. Worried about Korra's expression, Senna rushed over to give Korra a giant, warm embrace.
"Thanks, mom," Korra said softly and sincerely. She knew she needed one.
"Of course, honey. All we want is for you to get better."
Senna guided her to her seat. They all sat down and started eating, but the awkward silence filled the air.
"So, how have you been today?" Tonraq asked his daughter. He knew that she had been hurting and all he wanted to do was care for her, but Korra was so hard to talk to the past few years. As a father, he felt ashamed that he couldn't do anything, but he let Korra do whatever was best for her.
"I'm doing a little bit better, Dad." She gave him a weak smile and went back to playing with her food.
Probably, it's best if I leave here. Probably, it's best that I get some fresh air… Or I should probably head back to Republic City and see how everyone's doing...
Korra paused and hesitated.
Should I head back? I mean, it's better than standing around here and doing nothing. Training hasn't gotten me anywhere either.
At that moment, an image popped in her head-it was Team Avatar. The memories of them together brought more sadness in Korra's mind. She wanted to be with them again. All the laughs, the fights, and the triumphs they shared together was something she hadn't thought about in quite a while. But most importantly… She also wanted to know how Asami was doing. Mako and Bolin were friends with Korra first, but before she headed out to the Southern Water Tribe, she had spent so much time with Asami. Sadly, it was only last night that she remembered that Asami had taken care of her before and after Jinora's ceremony. The fuzzy memories of her only girl friend were very calming and sentimental. It embarrassed Korra when she finally noticed her sudden realization of her feelings for Asami. However, this small spark that she felt for her made her feel at ease and also, uneasy. She wasn't sure of it yet, but all she knew was she had missed her friend all these years and never got the chance to understand the things her friend has done for her.
Ugh, I thought I was going to stop thinking about this. I'm just going to keep getting frustrated. On top of that, I have to worry about my condition... Why is this such a pain?
It had been a week since she sent a response to Asami. She wasn't expecting a letter from her right away, or at all for that matter. But Korra felt that it was a relief to tell someone how she felt about the whole mess that's been happening. She knew Asami would be the only one to understand.
Maybe it's best if I go to Republic City. And maybe I might even...
"Everything alright, sweetie?" Senna asked.
"There's something I need to tell you both," the Avatar said abruptly.
"What is it?" Tonraq questioned her with a very concerned face.
"I want to go back to Republic City."
Senna looked at her with apprehension and felt that she wasn't ready to head back. But she knew that if that's what it would take for her to recover, then she understood that it was for her daughter's sake. "Are you sure?" she wanted to reassure Korra of her decision.
"I know I'm not one-hundred percent, yet. But I feel like I've hit a wall. I need to be where the action is." Korra looked up and brightened up a bit and said, "where my friends are."
The two parents glanced at each other with deep concern, then at Korra who had a small smile on her face.
"I'll have the White Lotus prepare us a boat and they can take you to Republic City as soon as you're ready," Tonraq suggested.
"No, I want to go alone… I'll have some time to clear my head. It'll be good for me."
Even though they weren't ready to have their only daughter alone on a journey, they agreed that Korra was responsible for her decision.
"Alright, dear. Please, be extra careful. However, if you think that it may be too much for you, please, come back home." Senna whispered gently.
"I will." Korra shot up and felt a rush of energy. She was about to run out of the dining room, but her father grabbed her arm and said, "We'll do this first thing tomorrow. For now, get some rest."
Her eyes fell, but she knew that her dad was right. He let go of her arm and Korra agreed with a nod.
"I'll just go outside for a bit and play with Naga before I head out tomorrow."
"You won't be taking her?" Tonraq looked puzzled.
"No, I think it'd be best for me to travel alone without any distractions."
"If that's what you want. Make sure you give her the biggest hug before you venture off on your journey."
"Thanks, dad. and mom. I want to be able to get better, and I feel like this will help me understand who I am and what I'm supposed to do." Her crooked smile radiated through the room with such ambition and desire to get better that her mother started to whimper.
"Korra, I haven't seen you this eager. I hope you made the right decision," Senna ran up to her and embraced her. Tonraq followed as well. Korra couldn't help but feel the love from them both. Even though she wasn't able to share everything with them, she knew they loved her dearly. She shed a tear and started to pull away from their embrace.
"I love you mom and dad," Korra wiped away a tear.
"We love you too, dear." Her parents wrapped their arms around her one more time before she decided to go outside for some fresh air.
Korra walked out of her home and into the barren, snowfield. It felt a chillier today, so she decided to wear her navy blue parka and some toasty mittens. Naga dashed out and tackled the Avatar into the snow. The sappy Avatar let out a thunderous laugh―a genuine one at that―and started petting her polar-bear dog. It had been such a long time since she felt such positive emotions all in one day, minus the negativity early in the morning. But what confused her was the sudden burst of excitement. Was it because she was secretly excited to see her friends again? Or more importantly... Asami? Was that really the case here?
"Naga, do you like Asami?" Korra asked her four-legged companion.
Naga shot up at the word, "Asami," barked in agreement, and started running around in search of her. Unfortunately, Naga saw no sign of her around and sadly laid her head down in her paws.
"You miss her too, huh, girl?" Korra's temporary happiness faded into a sudden melancholy. She didn't want the feelings that she felt earlier to turn into a sense of uneasiness. The young woman stood up and started to have a mini-tantrum.
Why am I hurting so much yet feel giddy when I think of you?! You didn't do anything wrong to me but, Spirits, it hurts so much. The worse part is I don't even know how you feel about me and if all these signals between us might not be what it seems. Why is this taking such a toll on me? Why do I want to be there with you so badly?! Why is it now that I just realized this?!
Passion and frustration filled Korra's heart. She started to stomp the ground, but Naga came in and calmed her down by gently nudging her. Korra sighed and gave Naga a pat on her nose.
"You're right, Naga. I should calm down and think things through. I'm not sure what's causing this unexpected happiness, but all I know is that I want it. I'll pursue the answers and see what will happen." Korra paused to think to herself. Will I be able to understand what's going on my heart? Probably not, but the main point here is that I need to get better. I need to get better so I can see her and tell her the things I wasn't able to say.
Naga tugged on the pondering girl's parka as a gesture to play with her. The Avatar cracked a tiny smile and exhaled the anxiety pent up in her heart. For now, she realized that she needed time away from everything, so this last playtime with Naga would cheer her up.